Give Unto Me
by Mistress of the Arts
Summary: Our worlds were never meant to collide. Now I'm trapped on the other side, finding the pieces of the side of my father I never knew. The only pieces of the truth I have is that everything connected to my father is shrouded in shadow. As his daughter, it is my duty to save Amestris. Give unto me their pain, for the Elrics are the only family I've ever known. 1st Person. AU. REWRITE.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters. Self-insert. Flames will not be tolerated *unless they're from Mustang ~ teehee* and reviews are encouraged.

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><p>My fingers sunk into the cold, damp earth. My heart hammered against my chest, pressed against the cold marble. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't will my body to move, even as the rain pierced my skin like icy needles.<p>

How did I end up here, and how I came to be were two questions that were desperately being screeched from my mind. I felt like I must be dreaming. Every breath I took was complete agony. My lungs burned as I tried to move once again.

I finally was able to lift my head, becoming immobilized at once. This wasn't where I had remembered passing out. No, this was an entirely different cemetery. The old church was gone, as was the broken angel statue that had sheltered me from the harsh October storm that had unleashed itself upon me mercilessly.

In their place was rolling fields under the overture of swirling clouds, a small village in the distance. The sound of a river rushing loudly was picked up by my ears. Shivering, I turned to look to my left, only to feel my breath hitch as I took in the name engraved on the grave I was collapsed over.

It was my father's grave. My fingers outstretched before me, tracing the letters that spelled out my father's name – Randurdor Godric. Trembling, I traced out the date of birth and the date of death in shock. Instead of 2009, as it should've been, the date of death was 1915.

"Th…this doesn't…make any sense."

Bowing my head, I forced myself onto my knees, stumbling as pain shot up and down my legs from where my muscles had locked up. I managed to get to my feet, trying to make my way through the haze of confusion. My boots were heavy with every step that I took as I reached the dirt road. I didn't understand how I came to be in this strange place. All I knew was that the fear of the unknown was gripping me and I needed to find some answers.

Shaking off the paranoia, I staggered my way up the slope, before finally breaking into a run. Running up that hill, the only thing that my ears picked up over the thunder was my own heartbeat. I clenched my eyes shut as tears blurred my vision, my throat constricting and burning. I just couldn't stop running – running from the memories…

_Someday, Eva, I'll make a deal with God and get Him to swap our places… you and me won't be unhappy…_

My father's words echoed in my mind as I remembered the day he had turned to me and said them. I had been small at the time, not entirely understanding.

I lost my footing and went flying to the ground. My body shook as the sobs took over. I couldn't stop crying. My fingers raked against the ground before my hands balled up into fists. I punched the ground as I finally threw my head back, releasing a scream.

"I didn't want this!"

And when I opened my eyes and the tears were wiped away, I realized for the first time in a long time that I wasn't alone…

Darkness overtook me and for once, it was comforting.

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><p>"Here you go, these will be a lot warmer than your soaked clothes."<p>

Her voice was like a lullaby, warm and almost motherly. I stared blankly at her for a long moment, just watching her blue eyes. Her eyes were honest eyes, shining in only kindness and truth. She had trusting eyes.

I wanted to be on my guard, but for some strange reason, I found I couldn't. Instead I took the folded clothing from her hands – hands I noticed were strong and soft – and watched as the blond turned to head to out of the room.

She said her name was Winry Rockbell, and she informed me that I was in some strange place by the name of Resembool. For some reason, this village's name sounded familiar to me. I wasn't sure where I had heard of it before.

I clutched the towel around my shoulders closely, catching the scent of fresh linen. Another warm scent. A homey scent.

I couldn't recall the last time any place felt like home for me. It had been several years since my mother up and left us. It had been two since my father passed away after devoting his entire life to his research, work, and me. An old family friend, my godfather Jesse, had kept an eye on me the past two years.

I remembered the fight clearly, of all the harsh words I realized I could never take back. Uncle Jesse had only been trying to look out for me. Instead I lashed out and took off. It was my 17th birthday and I spent it wallowing in my sorrows over my father's grave.

Now…

I didn't know where the hell I even was. I was grateful for Winry's kindness and her warmth, though at the same time I foolishly felt pain from it. I had nothing to give the kind young woman in return and that gravely bothered me.

Wincing, I forced myself to get to my feet, taking a look around the quaint bedroom I was in. My body felt heavy, like that of lead, as I managed to make my way to the full body mirror on the back of the door. I forced myself to take in my reflection, despite the irrational fears that gripped me.

Relief washed over me as I took in my usual reflection. The only difference was that I seemed much paler than usual. Most likely it was my anemia acting up. I ran my fingers through my long tangled dark brown hair, before brushing my side-swept bangs behind my ear in an attempt to keep them out of my face. My slate gray eyes were wide in fright yet also alert. I reached out, pressing my fingers against the cool glass, before I allowed my eyes to close as I finally relaxed.

I felt safe in this home. For the first time, I didn't feel scared or the need to look over my shoulder. I could almost hear my father whispering words of comfort to me. When I opened my eyes, I noticed my lips were quivering in a small smile. The chill from the rain was starting to get to me.

I needed out of these wet clothes – clothing I noticed didn't match the clothing of the villagers that Winry and I had passed. They eyed my jeans and hoodie like they were even odder than their clothing was. I kicked off the muddy, dark denims and winced at the reddened skin from where my thighs had been chaffed. Lucky for me, my undergarments were almost dry, so I didn't need to change them. I shrugged off my black hoodie and then my white tank, allowing them to pile on the floor. I unfolded the long-sleeved black shirt, blinking as I caught the scent.

It wasn't feminine and sweet – not the floral and, oddly enough, oil scent that belonged to Winry. No, this scent was warm and spicy, reminding me of autumn and even damp earth. It was definitely a masculine scent.

I checked the size of the pants and saw that they too were men's. Taking in my stature and build, I knew that I wouldn't be able to wear any of Winry's clothing. Maybe she was lending me the clothes of a brother or cousin?

Shrugging, I pulled the shirt overhead, pulling my hair out from under the collar before I moved to pull on the green cargo pants. They were a big baggy but they stayed on my hips, something I couldn't say about Winry's clothing. The scent was stronger and it made me curious as to whose clothing I was borrowing.

I felt a twinge of guilt, wearing a stranger's clothes. I hoped whomever it was I had borrowed it from wouldn't be angry at Winry.

I picked up my damp clothing after pushing my sleeves up so not to get them wet, and then left the bedroom and headed down to the first level of the house. I could hear Winry talking to her grandmother.

"…she doesn't know where she is at all?" Pinako was saying.

"No, she doesn't." Winry replied, "Poor thing looked half scared to death. I couldn't just leave her there in the rain."

"I just hope that she's not a kidnapping escapee. She's a young and pretty one." There was a pause, "What did you say her name was?"

"She told me it was Evangeline."

"Just Eva," I said, deciding to step inside of the kitchen. "Thanks for the clothes…uh…" I glanced down at my old attire in my arms.

"Oh, just give those to me; I'll hang them in the wash room to dry."

I handed over the clothing to the blond, before feeling the old woman's eyes on me. She was inspecting me before she placed her pipe back into her mouth. I closed my eyes and turned away, not saying a word.

"If you're hungry, there's some leftover stew on the stove. Get some."

Turning to look at her in surprise, I saw a small smile on the old woman's lips. Pinako slid out of her chair as she glanced at the time. Winry seemed to perk up as well. I heard the front door open and the sound of someone arriving home. I didn't focus too much on it – I hated meeting new people. Instead I focused on getting myself a bowl of the stew and sat down at the table, mechanically chewing the meat and swallowing.

Everything here… reminded me of the home I had lost.

"Eva?"

I looked up with the spoon in my mouth, raising an eyebrow as Winry appeared in the doorway with a smile on her face.

"I'd like for you to meet Alphonse Elric. Al, this is Evangeline Godric."

I nearly choked before I hastily put the spoon back into the bowl as a handsome and sweet faced boy close to my age stepped into the kitchen. His short hair was a dark honey blond and his eyes were the unique color of bronze. He wore a white short-sleeved button down over a black undershirt with khaki pants and leather shoes.

I managed to get to my feet, ignoring the sharp pain that shot from my knee as it collided with the hard table. I hastily held out my hand in an attempt to be polite. It wasn't every day that I was being introduced to a boy my age. Where I came from, it was a small town where everyone grew up together from diapers.

Al took my hand and we shook hands, before I quickly sat back down and tried to focus on the food I was once again mechanically chewing. I shivered as I felt those soulful bronze orbs taking me in.

"Ed's not gonna be happy that you leant out his clothes, Winry."

Winry cringed and glared, "So what! He goes and busts up his automail every week!"

"That's the price he pays for being a dog of the military and protecting our country from invasion and war." Pinako remarked. "He should be home tomorrow."

"Yeah…" Winry replied thoughtfully before she looked at the time. "Wow, it's really late! Eva, come with me and I'll show you the guest room, okay? I think I might have a nightgown you could borrow."

"That's okay; I can just sleep in this." I said quietly. "Thank you for taking me in."

"It isn't any trouble."

"Goodnight." Al said, closing his eyes and giving a little wave.

My face felt warm and I squeaked a little, awkwardly unclenching my hand and returning the gesture before hurrying my way up the stairs. Winry showed me to the guest room, the room I had changed in, and I sat down on the bed.

"Good night, Eva. Don't worry, we'll figure everything out in the morning. Just get some sleep."

"Thank you, goodnight." I whispered to the maternal young woman before turning my attention to the window.

The storm had cleared and the night was filled with stars, spreading out across the village. I looked out at the scenery for the longest time, trying to relax and keep myself calm. I pressed my hand to the glass and bowed my head.

It was all I can do to pray to whatever entities that would listen that no one else was enduring this as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters. Self-insert. AU. Flames will not be tolerated and reviews are encouraged. Appreciate the feedback!

Note: Re-posted from my FMA account to my main account for personal reasons.

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><p>I woke up with my stomach in knots. I clutched my stomach and ground my teeth at the unbearable sensations of nauseous and pain, managing to pull myself into the familiar fetal position. After a few minutes of trying to stifle my grunts into my pillow, my body stopped convulsing.<p>

I was able to sit up and catch my breath, just as I heard the familiar sounds of heavy footsteps on the stairs. Turning, I felt the breath I just caught leave me, as I took in Resembool in the soft glow of the morning.

It was simply beautiful; magical even. Never before had I encountered a place so peaceful yet breathtaking. It was almost like that of a dream.

I felt that whisper of a smile tugging at my lips, before I threw the blankets off my body, and then swung my legs over the side of the bed. My bare feet padded against the wooden floor, slightly cold to the touch.

My eyes landed on a small vanity table in the corner. A hair brush, toothbrush, and a basin of warm water, a bar of soap, and a wash cloth were all set on a tray. There was a note from Winry, saying she left those there for me to freshen up. I was free to use the shower as well, which was right down the hall. I decided a shower would be nice, especially since I felt somewhat grimy. There was dirt caked under my nails and in the crevices of my fingers.

I found a towel and robe draped on the back of the chair, carrying them over my arms as I left the room and made my way down the hall. I was about to open the bathroom door when I noticed someone arriving at the top of the stairs. Once again the sensation of uncontrollable warmth spread up my neck and to my face. Bronze eyes closed as Alphonse smiled.

"Good morning, Eva."

"Morning," I managed, quickly breaking eye-contact. "Is anyone in here?" I lightly rapped my knuckles against the wooden frame.

"Mm-mm, Winry and I showered earlier. There's plenty of hot water left." Al moved, I noticed from the corner of my eye that he had moved to lean against the wall beside me, arms behind his back, hands pressed against the wall. "Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale."

"I'm not sure, to be honest." I closed my eyes and turned to face him – it was easier to talk to him when I didn't look him directly in the eyes. "I'm still in shock, I guess. Not too sure what's going on."

"A warm shower and some breakfast might help. I'll go downstairs and help Winry make you something." Al replied, and I heard the squeaking of the floorboards.

My eyes opened and that cursed warmth intensified, "N-No, t-that's okay! I can just make myself something! Y-You r-really don't h-have to go t-to any t-trouble for me!"

Silently cursing the way I tripped and stuttered over my words, my only reaction was to clamp my hands over my mouth to prevent myself from saying anything else stupid. I never had been one to talk to boys – let alone cute boys – and I was scared of saying something that would make Al think I was an idiot. I wasn't exactly the most social of people back where I came from…

It wasn't like I was anti-social or socially crippled or anything. No, it was just that people didn't understand my father's research, or how odd the Godrics were. Our family had always been known as 'eccentric' and 'bizarre'. People were wary – as we were wary of them. To us, normalcy was overrated. It made us independent and our own selves. We were different.

It was our greatest aspect and fatal flaw.

It was my fatal flaw.

I felt his touch before my mind registered the fact Al was touching my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. His eyes, they were smiling. Underlying the warmth of the golden-brown shade however was concern and sympathy. That single look made my skin crawl in self-disgust. His touch made it tingle in something I didn't quite understand. It was a strange, alarming – yet at the same time alluring – reaction.

"It's no trouble, Eva. Just like for Brother and me, this is your home now. At least until we can figure out what's going on? You'll always have a place here. Winry and Granny said so."

Those words were meant to make me smile – instead they choked me up to the point I had to quickly turn and head into the bathroom. I didn't want Alphonse to see me cry. I didn't even like to see myself cry in the mirror.

I was touched and at the same time, I was hurting from the kindness of the people in this house. All these conflicted emotions were making my stomach turn again. I felt ill.

The worst part was that I knew Al heard me getting sick. So I attempted to ignore it and showered, trying to fight the chill that seemed to envelop around me, and lost myself to the thoughts and the strangeness of this foreign place and all the strange feelings that came with it.

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><p>"WH…WH…WHY IS SOME RANDOM GIRL WEARING MY CLOTHES?!"<p>

Silence rang throughout the kitchen after the outburst from the boy standing in the doorway. I froze in mid-chew of my pasta, just staring at him with widening eyes. Winry sweatdropped from her spot in front of the sink, where she had been washing the remaining dishes with Al drying them and putting them away. Very slowly, I slurped the remaining noodles in my mouth as the tall ebony-haired man behind the golden-braided boy sighed.

"Geez, Fullmetal, its ten o'clock in the morning and you're already trying to blow out our eardrums…" He took a gloved finger and dug into his ear, "I think it's bleeding."

"S-Shut up!" the boy whirled on Winry, "Who is this girl and why is she wearing my clothes?!"

The pieces finally clicked, "Oh! You must be Al's younger brother, Edward!"

"I'M HIS OLDER BROTHER, DAMMIT!"

I blinked, taking him in from top-to-bottom. Al was a good three-to-four inches taller than his brother. Ed seemed to only come to around my height.

"You're short."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINT-SIZED DWARF?!"

"She didn't say that, Edward!" Winry snapped, "Now stop yelling before you wake up the neighbors!"

Grumbling, the blond turned away from Ed, who finally stopped yelling and crossed his arms, a visible vein throbbing in his temple. I noticed the way the man was watching Winry, his eyes as dark as obsidian, and his face softening just slightly. I didn't think Winry noticed the way he took her in – the same way Ed did as well, the moment her back was turned. Awkwardly, I lowered my eyes back down to my bowl of pasta – it being the only thing my stomach would settle on – and tried to ignore the way my heart was starting to pound.

I only felt this way whenever I was feeling dreadful, anxious, or scared. I hated confrontation and I felt bad that Winry was taking the heat. I didn't want to wear these clothes anymore, feeling like I was violating them, but I didn't have any other choice.

"So how was your trip, Brother?" Al said, calmly sipping his glass of orange juice.

Ed blinked, "Boring and stupid. I don't see why the Colonel invited himself to come back with me."

"I told you, Fullmetal, I have some research I need to pick up in the general area and I saw it fit to escort you home. Besides, there's nothing wrong with me wanting to check in on Miss Rockbell and Alphonse."

I could hear the sneer in his voice before I even looked up. The Colonel had an ulterior motive, that much was clear, but I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with research. Unless it was research on Ed's general relationship with Winry. I took in the Colonel, head tilting a bit to the side as I continued to mechanically chew and swallow.

He was a man in his late-twenties, not that much older than Winry, the most being probably a five to seven year age difference. In this day and age, I doubted that it would matter. He was a Colonel meaning he was in the military. People were drafted at the young age of sixteen. He seemed nice, but not a pushover. He reminded me of Uncle Jesse.

"So do you mind telling me who the girl is?" Ed jabbed his thumb in my direction.

I swallowed my noodles and wiped my mouth with my napkin, "My name is Evangeline Godric, though you can call me Eva."

The Colonel's eyes darkened, becoming sharper. "Did you say Godric?"

"Um, yes. And you are?"

"Colonel Roy Mustang. Sorry for not introducing myself sooner." He bowed politely, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Godric. Have you known the Elrics long?"

Winry came back into the room, Pinako at her side. "Actually, that's the thing. We never saw the girl before – until last night."

"You mean…"

Winry's blue eyes closed partway, "I found her in the rain, collapsed close by. She said she woke up in the cemetery."

I nodded, "That's right. I have no recollection of arriving here at all." I noticed that those sharp gold eyes of Ed had softened.

My hand clutched at the green material of my pants and I felt my stomach give another violent lurch. I kept my eyes lowered, feeling horrible. Then feeling of someone petting my hair affectionately caused me to jolt, my slate eyes looking up and seeing it was Winry.

"It's okay, Eva. I'm sure the Colonel can help figure out what happened and where you came from."

Ed crossed his arms behind his head, "Do you think she's from another country? She doesn't look like she's from Xing."

"Maybe Drachma! Or Creta!" Al exclaimed.

I shook my head, "I've never heard of any of those places. I don't even know what country I'm in."

"Amestris." Mustang answered.

_B-bmp..._

_W-Why…w-why do I know that name?_

I swallowed hard. My heart was starting to throb in my ribcage. I could feel my nails digging into my thigh through the pants as my clammy hand gripped it tighter. My other hand pressed against my stomach.

I felt nauseous again. Dizzy.

"Evangeline…" I slowly turned my gaze, feeling frightened as I looked at the Colonel. "What were your parents' names, if you don't mind me inquiring?"

"A-Angelina and Randurdor."

Obsidian eyes flickered, "Randurdor Godric is the name of the State Alchemist that disappeared for fifteen years and then came back, only to die in a crossfire saving a young girl's life."

"My…father died when I was fifteen. He left me with my Uncle Jesse and he… he left…and then a few months later I got a letter saying he had been killed in an accident."

"Where are you from?"

His eyes were flickering now, flicking like dark flames that made my blood run cold.

"A-America…"

"Where are you from?!"

"I just told you!"

"Evangeline Godric, you are the daughter of the Shadow Alchemist, Randurdor Godric! Now I want to know where you've been up until now and how you got here!"

"I don't know!" I finally screamed, "I don't know anything! I don't!"

The tears were threatening to spill over, but my fear and pride prevented them. I felt Winry gripping my shoulders, her arms instinctively wrapping around me, almost as if she was trying to shield me.

From what, exactly? The fire in Colonel Mustang's eyes? The answers to the questions I wanted desperately to know as much as him?

"For the last time, I want to know who you are!"

Something snapped. I didn't feel scared anymore. Now, I felt angry. I wasn't really sure what I was angry at. Maybe it was the Colonel, maybe it was my father, and maybe it was just this entire haze of confusion…

"My name is Evangeline Terezka Godric! I'm from America and my father died on October 7th, 2009! On October 17th of 2011, my seventeenth birthday, I collapsed in the graveyard over my father's grave in Hartford, Connecticut! When I came to, I was here, in Resembool! And you, Colonel Roy Mustang, are standing there demanding to know who I am, babbling nonsense about alchemy and my father that I don't have a damn clue about!"

"…Eva, it's 1917…"

As Alphonse uttered those words, I felt something inside of me. It wasn't anger this time. No, the fires of my anger were replaced with the ice now running through my veins. This time, it was dread.

"…this is bad… this is really bad…" Mustang whispered softly.

All anger vanished from his voice, his eyes locked on me in what could only be described as pity.

I had the feeling I was more than just a pawn in this game we called life.

This was only the beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters. Self-insert. AU. Flames will not be tolerated and reviews are encouraged. Thanks to those who've reviewed and read. Please do so again!

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><p>This place, these people, all of this confusion was really starting to get the best of me.<p>

After the outbreak in the kitchen, the Colonel excused himself and went to make some calls. Part of me wanted to listen in, to hear what he was saying about me – the strange girl who showed up out of nowhere, apparently the daughter of a state alchemist, or whatever the hell that was. However, the dread twisting my stomach made me not want to listen anymore.

I slipped out of the house, hands shoved into my – Ed's pockets. I kicked at the dirt of the road I was walking up. The residents of Resembool were out and about. Young children ran passed me, giggling in laughter as they played in groups of three or two. I felt longing and loneliness grip me as I stopped, watching them.

There was a trio – two boys and a girl – and the boys were fighting over who would help the girl up the steep slope. She sweatdropped and sighed, before she just went up the slope herself, leaving the two blushing and dumbstruck. I smiled sadly at the sight. It was adorable, not to mention there was relief to see such naïveté.

If they were older, one would most likely end up with heartbreak as the girl chose one over the other, and eventually even then all three would end up broken-hearted and end up with someone else. Nevertheless, right here, right now, nothing else mattered but their friendship and bonds of love.

Sighing, I tore my gaze away from the children and spotted the remnants of a house on a hill. There was a sturdy large tree that grew beside it, along with what appeared to be an old wooden swing. Biting my lip, I found my feet moving closer in curiosity.

There was evidence of fire, and not much was left of the old house. I reached the swing, testing the rope and seeing it was still strong, if not a bit worn. I placed my boot on the wood and tested it as well, to make sure it wouldn't break under my weight. I wasn't too heavy, but I wasn't light either. Average.

Mechanically I found myself easing myself onto the swing, my hands wrapping around the rope. I pushed myself slightly with my foot, toe of my boot digging into the grass, lightly rocking myself back and forth as I just looked out at the remnants of a home I didn't know, trying to figure out just what in the world was happening in my already screwed up life.

The only company that graced me was solitude.

"Daddy…"

Bowing my head, I allowed myself to ease some of the pressure in my chest. As the tears slipped down my face and I felt my lip quivering, my chest tightening as the sobs rose to the surface, I felt betrayed. Why would my father do something like this, lie to me and never tell me anything?

I finally realized where I had heard Amestris from. She was the wife of Xerxes… and there were seven children – seven deadly sins that were not human, despite the human skins that they wore. They were all from the stories my father would tell me when I was a pre-teen.

Stories of war, bloodshed, immortality, lost dreams, death…

Truth.

"What is alchemy but a warped science that gives you a way to act like that of a god?" I sneered bitterly.

I hated alchemy; hated the thought of altering something, messing with it, breaking it down and reforming it to whatever the alchemist desired. It was that way with humans – if you didn't like something about someone, just change it. Don't take into consideration their feelings on the matter.

"We're humans. We're flawed. In our imperfections is how we find our individuality… how we are us…"

"Alchemy is more than that. Alchemy has done more for this country than you'll ever know."

I hastily wiped my eyes before turning my head, my gaze set in a glare as one of the state alchemists I had just been loathing stepped forward. Ed had disposed of his red coat, now wearing a black long-sleeved top with white trim and a high collar, matching his pants, and his black boots were trimmed in red. I noticed he wore white gloves as well.

"Science is the key to understand life – and as alchemists we have learned that life flows in one direction. We can't play the role of God. You speak of alchemy as if it's something wrong – you sound like the Ishvalans…"

"It is wrong! You can't just change something to your liking, Elric!"

"The first law of alchemy is Equivalent Exchange, Eva. Do you know that that is?"

I blinked. Of course I didn't! I don't know anything about alchemy, other than it was the process of deconstruction and reconstruction.

Ed sighed and closed his eyes, coming to a stop in front of me, standing sideways with a hand on his lean hip. Something caught my eye, the long silver chain attached to his pants that went to his pocket. I was curious – I couldn't deny that – and wondered what it was. I had noticed that Mustang also had a chain.

"Equivalent Exchange is the principle that nothing can be gained without sacrifice. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the first law of alchemy. Another law is that there is nothing that is equal that of a human life. Life flows in one direction; it's simply a cycle that cannot be broken."

I picked up on the hollow tone of his words. As Ed turned to face me, I noticed his sleeve pull up slightly. What I caught a glimpse of made me tremble.

_A fake arm. A metal arm._

I heard his footsteps as he walked closer, crouching down. The faint sound of metal scraping against metal.

_His leg, too…?_

Suddenly, the only thing I could see was golden strands and topaz eyes. I leaned back, nearly falling off the swing to try and put some distance between myself and the barely elder boy crouched before me, eye-level. My face was burning again – differently from how it felt whenever Al was near. There wasn't that warm fluttering in my stomach this time. Only twisting dread.

Ed's face was set stoically, though there was undeniable fire in his eyes. This fire was different from the Colonel's. It was almost cold.

I felt a chill, especially when he took his right hand and touched my hand. Even through the gloves, I couldn't feel the warmth of skin.

"…I don't think you're some Drachman spy or anything. I don't think you're a threat to the military or any of that crap that Mustang was muttering. I knew your father."

"Y-You did?"

"He was odd," Ed grinned, "but pretty nice. He helped Al and me briefly. It was one of those kinds of introductions. He got Winry to safety, using his shadow alchemy."

"What is that, exactly…?" I lowered my eyes to my lap.

"He used his alchemy to create these portal like things. A passageway to somewhere else. It was used for special forces teams."

I smiled, "I'm glad he was able to help…"

Ed was quiet and I lifted my gaze again. He had straightened and he was looking at me quizzically. I subconsciously began to brush my side-swept bangs out of my face again.

"There's no doubt about it… you're his kid alright. You have the same eyes. I've never seen anyone else with the same grey colored eyes as you."

I didn't reply.

I always heard that. It was one of my mother's many pet peeves. She left when I was young, around nine I think. She couldn't stand the fact my father put his research and me over everything else.

She hated his personality, his intelligence, his eccentric ways, how brutally honest he was… and most of all she hated how I was just like him. Daddy's little girl. I always had been, even when I was a newborn. I always cried for my father; never my mother.

I never really knew what it was like to have a mom – even though I had one for the first nine years of my life. She didn't act like a mother, really. Angelina was too self-absorbed for that. It was always her needs first, her work, her friends, her wants…

My fingertips traced against the faint scars on the meat of my palm of my right hand.

I could distantly remember one time, when I was really small, that she had completely ignored me when I really needed my mom. I had gotten hurt leaving school. A dog had attacked me and bitten me. I came home, crying and my hand was bleeding. She was on the phone with her sister. I kept crying for her. She kept waving me off.

_In a minute, Eva. In a minute! Dammit, stop bothering me, this is important!_

Dad came to investigate why she was yelling at me and why I was crying even more by then. The door slammed as she left to go outside to finish her phone call while I stood in the kitchen, blood staining my sleeve and the pain too much. I was just a little girl and I was hurt.

I had to go to the ER because the bite got infected. My hand was bandaged for a good three weeks. Even then, no guilt or remorse ever shone in my mother's brown eyes whenever she saw them. Not even when I had trouble doing my homework or gripping my utensils. Daddy let his work build up during that time, just doing everything he could to be there for me.

He was always the parent – she was just the conceited being who carried me in her womb for nine months.

"What happened to your arm and leg?" I murmured, finally bringing myself to meet Ed's eyes as I looked up at him from under my lashes.

Ed jolted slightly and took a step back, "W-Wait a second… how'd you…?"

"I saw your wrist…when you moved…and your footsteps sound… off."

"You got some pretty damn good ears."

"I'm perceptive. I notice what others tend to allow themselves to be oblivious to."

"Gonna get yourself in a load of trouble if you keep that up…"

I just stared at him, gripping the rope tightly in my hands again, boots brushing against the grass as I pressed my knees together. Ed sighed and I was surprised to see his cheeks tinge pink, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's a long story, actually. Kind of depressing. You sure you wanna hear it after all that just went down between you and the Colonel bastard?"

Closing my eyes, I gave a soft laugh. "You're right. Mentally and emotionally I probably can't handle anymore tragedies." I opened my eyes half-mast, "I just don't understand… anything right now. How did I get here and why am I here?"

"Sometimes there are just questions without answers."

"These have to have answers, Edward!" I jerked my head up and was surprised by the intensity of emotion racking my tone. "I'm in a strange new world that feels just like a d-"

"Feels just like a dream."

I stared at him for a long moment, eyes wide and heart skipping a beat in my chest.

"Tell me, Evangeline, do you have any siblings?"

"No. My mother left when I was still a kid. She never wanted children."

"Close friends?"

"No. Never."

Ed gave me an odd look, "Why not?"

I shrugged, "I'm not a people person… we were odd. People don't like odd where I'm from."

"People must be pretty stupid then," Ed quipped, "Because you don't seem too bad to me, Eva… in fact you're nice and honest. That's hard to come by."

I knew I was blushing from his words. A strange noise emitted from my throat as I quickly looked away and finally stood up. Ed jumped back from me as I went to leave, arms crossing under my breasts. I hopped down the hill, hurrying to leave the alchemist behind me. I felt my hair bouncing around my shoulders, falling to my shoulder-blades in dark brown waves.

"Eva! Hey!"

"I would like to be left alone, Ed. I'm not used to being around others."

With that said, I left Edward Elric standing beside the remnants of the house on the hill, wondering why his presence alone made me feel vulnerable.

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><p>"Roy, please!"<p>

"I'm sorry, Winry, but this is military business. I can't ignore direct orders."

I froze as I stepped inside the front door. I had just heard Mustang hang up the phone. I hesitated outside of the doorway to the dining room, where Winry was trying to plead with the ebony-haired man. There was sincere remorse in his eyes as he looked down into her blue. Her fists were balled up at her side, and she was looking at him pleadingly.

"You can't! She's a good person, Roy!"

"Winry, she's not even been here for a day…"

"I don't care! She's my friend and I'm not going to let you take her away from here! Not until we know who she is and that she's safe!"

Mustang sighed heavily, grimacing slightly as he took in the determined look etched on Winry's beautiful face. My heart was pounding as I watched in disbelief from around the doorway. I pressed one hand against the wall, nails digging into the wood as my other hand clutched at my pants. I swallowed hard, watching the scene from the corner of my eye.

_Why…? Why would she put herself between me and the military…? Doesn't she know what she'll risk…?_

"Look, all we want to do is take her in for some questioning. I promise that no harm will come to her. Hawkeye will look after her."

"That's not good enough, Roy! Have you even thought about _her_ feelings? She's been through living hell! Can't you see that? It's in her eyes! Even if she can't remember, Evangeline's been put through something neither one of us can even imagine! It's scarred her, just like the Ishvalan War scarred you and scarred me by taking the lives of my parents! I'm not going to put her at risk of falling to pieces!"

"Winry…"

It was all he could say. She had won the argument with fact and truth.

Was it really so obvious the pain in my eyes? That the fact my mental stability was on the line? That I felt as weak and terrified as a child…

In this world, I was a child still. I was on the edge of seventeen. I was caught in the awkward stage between child and woman.

I was still naïve to the world; I was still lost in a field of innocence.

Here I was, stranded in a world I did not know. I still remembered my world from the eyes of a child. Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I knew now.

"Eva…?"

I turned and realized I was crying the moment I saw Al's face. He looked devastated and wordlessly, he moved closer. He slowly brought his hands to my shoulders, carefully and almost timidly pulled me close so that my face was buried into his shoulder. I didn't move.

_Where has my heart gone? Trapped in the eyes of a stranger? I want to go back to believing in everything and nothing at all…_

Everything was happening to fast. The only thing I could make sense of right then in that moment was the warmth that Alphonse had.

His scent, like apples and spice. His touch, soft and almost protective. The rhythm of his heart beating, thundering even, was getting faster…

I felt him pull me closer as the heavy footsteps rang through my ears. I managed to turn my head, and through brown strands I saw the look on Mustang's face.

"Evangeline Godric, you are now under military arrest and must return to Central with me for questioning. This is a direct order from Führer Grumman."

The only thing I could think of was how I didn't want to feel the loss that would overcome me the moment Al had to let me go.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters. Self-insert. AU. Flames will not be tolerated and reviews are encouraged. Wow! Really loving the support guys! Basically speaking this is the Brotherhood storyline with random tidbits from 2003. Also, Ed still has his alchemy and arm. I couldn't write a story without Ed's alchemy… would be just weird.

A/N: Much love to those who are re-reading this tale. As I stated before I reposted it on my main account for personal reasons. I also did go through and re-edit every single chapter I had written and did change some minor things. :) 3 So please keep reviewing and let me know your thoughts!

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><p>By late afternoon, I found myself in an uncomfortable position, both physically and proverbial.<p>

As we waited for the train to arrive at the station in Resembool, Mustang insisted on keeping a hand on my shoulder at all times. I didn't like to be touched for one –especially by a complete stranger – though Al and Winry seemed to make an exception to that rule.

I glanced over my shoulder toward the end of the platform. Ed was leaning against a pillar, hands in his pockets, and he was glaring in Mustang's general direction. Winry and Al were talking in hushed tones, frequently glancing over at me. I swallowed and turned to look back toward the west, where the train would be arriving from.

The three of them downright refused to let me leave the Rockbell house without them. After an all-out almost physical fight between Ed and Mustang - which was quickly prevented by Al holding his brother back and Winry practically had to hug Mustang to get them to quit - it was settled that the Elrics and Winry would be tagging along to Central.

"What's going to happen to me…?"

It was the first I had spoken in the past few hours. I couldn't help but move through this entire situation feeling numb. I hadn't really felt anything other than dread since I arrived. I looked back at the trio of blonds, chewing on my cheek before my gray eyes looked back up at the dark man.

"You're just going to be questioned, mostly about your father. I won't let anything happen to you. Just following orders."

The military.

Alchemy.

I couldn't stand either.

I understood the concept of soldiers fighting to defend their land, but I didn't like the thought of war. Didn't like the thought of countless people dying, murdering one another. I was a fighter but I was a pacifist. I never fought unless I had to. I found other ways to settle things. Communication for one.

Now I was being pulled into some craziness I didn't know anything about. It all went back to my father. I knew my dad was a scientist. I knew he understood things others couldn't.

But an alchemist? I never saw that coming. Never knew it was possible.

Maybe in theory but… it just didn't seem like it could happen in my world. Earth was so much different than this place, though everything seemed almost parallel. People still lived in communities, still had families and lives, friends and loved ones, countries to run, war and strife, pain and grievance, happiness and peace…

The sharp whistle of the train pieced my ears. I winced and placed my hand against it, before I tried to brush my hair back over my shoulder. I usually wore my hair pulled back, so it wouldn't get in the way or fall into my face. I made a face and was surprised when Mustang held out a simple black hair-tie to me.

"Um…"

"It's my subordinate's. I keep an extra in case."

"Thanks?"

I took the band and tied my hair back into a ponytail, leaving tendrils to fall in front of my pierced ears. I had a simple silver cuff earring on my left cartilage and my ears were pierced with studs. They had been a gift from my father.

Once my hair was tied back, I glanced back at Ed, Al, and Winry. They were straightening and waiting for the train to come to a stop. Soon we were boarding and I was being pulled toward the first class area and into a compartment. Mustang went to shut the door, but it wouldn't close. He glared at the foot that was blocking it from being shut, but no matter how many times he tried to slam the door into the foot to get it to budge, it wouldn't move. Nor would its owner cry out in pain.

I realized why a moment later, as gloved hands pried the door open all the way. It was Ed. He had a defiant expression on his face as he smirked up at Mustang.

"Sorry, Colonel, but since she's under military arrest then she needs to have more than a useless state alchemist with her."

"Fullmetal, I swear I'll –"

Winry simply squeezed her way between them and Mustang went to stagger back so not to get too close, his face turning pink as he lost his footing and landed on the seat in the corner. Ed snickered as Winry plopped down right beside the Colonel in the cramped seat, not enough room for space between them. I noticed the Colonel shift his eyes away and out the window, looking for the first time since I met him like he had lost his cool. To make sure he was unable to move, Ed squeezed his way into the seat on the other side of Winry, making it impossible for Mustang to sit comfortably unless he pulled Winry into his lap.

I finally sat down myself, across from Mustang, and allowing my eyes to drop to the floor. I pressed my knees together and angled my feet out, hands slipping between my thighs as I rocked back and forth. I wasn't sure what to do or say at this point. All I knew was that in a few hours, I would be arriving at this nation's capital city for interrogation. I was under military arrest and I was being dragged around like some lost puppy that was to blame for some other dog's deeds.

That other dog being my own father.

"Eva, are you hungry?"

"Huh?" I looked up and saw that Al was holding out a piece of bread. "What is it?"

"Honey bread. Aunt Pinako made it. It's really good."

Blinking, I took the bread and thanked him softly, before tearing off a piece and eating it. The warm crisp bread and the sweetness of the honey actually warmed me. It tasted amazing. I forced myself to only eat small pieces at a time, for it was to be a long train ride.

"So, Eva, what do you like to do in your spare time?" Winry asked.

"I like to write." I admitted, "I also like to take photographs."

"What about your schooling?" Mustang asked. "What were your studies like?"

My eyebrow rose. It seemed odd that Mustang was trying to get to know me like Winry. Deciding to just go with it, I ate another piece of the bread before answering.

"I was really good in my English and Literature classes. History was a half-an-half sort of thing. I didn't really like American history, but I did love the history from other cultures."

"You didn't like the history of your own country?"

"No, not really. My country may be one of the freest nations, but we're also one of the most screwed up. Too much war and too much debt. We're practically in our second Great Depression. No jobs, working just to keep a roof over our heads and we're hardly ever home because we're working so much, being deployed in other countries when it's none of our business, war over oil… it's just downright useless."

"You mean like the Colonel?"

"For the last time, Edward, it was raining that day!"

I didn't know what caused it, but suddenly I was laughing. Really laughing. I clutched my sides as I giggled uncontrollably, watching as the two young men stared at me as if I was insane.

"You guys are silly! Almost like brothers! Bwhahaha!"

Al started to laugh as well, and even Winry giggled. Smiling, I managed to stifle my laughter, feeling a lot of the tension ease.

"What about science and mathematics? How did you fair with those?" Al inquired curiously.

I cringed and rubbed the back of my head, "Uhhh, not too well actually. The only science I was good in was Environmental. I barely passed Biology and yeah… math, I'm good at, but only if I'm focused and I have someone give me one-on-one help until I grasp the methods. Though I was pretty good at algebra…"

Al chuckled, "Darn, I was wondering if you maybe have some hidden untapped talent for alchemy."

"No way!" I laughed, "My brain hurts trying to understand chemistry. No way."

"Who knows, maybe you'll find out that you really are the Shadow Alchemist's true daughter after all." Mustang smirked.

The happy air that had formed disappeared at once, before I rested my cheek in my palm and stared out the window.

Yesterday, something happened that I probably would never understand. As I tried to think back to what happened between the times of passing out and waking up, the only thing I could recall was white.

_White instead of black…_

"You look tired… get some sleep." Ed announced.

"I don't think I can," I mumbled.

Ed squeezed his way free from his spot, allowing Mustang to release a breath of relief, though he was still rather close to the blond beside him. I watched Ed was he made Al scoot over. Ed sat down beside me and then - much to my surprise - placed his arm around me and tugged me so that my head was resting on his chest. He then covered me up with his red coat.

"Sleep, Evangeline."

My face was warm as I tugged the soft red material over my reddening cheeks, my eyes closing as I heeded the blond's words and allowed myself to rest.

* * *

><p>Central City reminded me of one of the big cities I lived in briefly when I was a child. Bustling streets, people everywhere, even though it was almost seven o'clock at night. Mustang grabbed my wrist and started to lead me down the street. I heard Al leave with Winry to take her to stay with the Hughes family, and Ed yelling at Mustang to slow down and wait for him.<p>

"Wait, dammit!" Ed snatched my other arm and stopped us in our tracks. "You're not taking her by yourself, you dirty old man!"

Mustang just stood there and his eye twitched a bit, before he snapped his fingers and Ed went lunging backwards to avoid the sudden blast of fire that came between us. I screamed a bit and wanted to make sure Ed was okay, but before I could even move Mustang was pulling me into the back of a black car. I blinked, disoriented and whirling to look out the back window at Ed screaming and cursing Mustang at the top of his lungs as the car drove off.

"Good timing, Lieutenant."

"That was a very poor decision, sir."

"Well, I didn't have much choice! Fullmetal doesn't know when to stop acting like a possessive child sometimes!"

I could finally feel the numb sensation wearing off.

Now, I was just annoyed.

I've been kidnapped by some dude who was named after a horse, the only person whose actually apart of the military that believes me was just blasted away by fire, and I was about to be interrogated.

I turned around, sighing as I looked to the front of the car. A blond man with an unlit cigarette in his mouth was driving, and sitting beside him was a woman with dark blond hair clipped back with a hair piece. She turned around to look at the Colonel.

She had eerie brown eyes… familiar brown eyes.

Eyes just like my mother's.

"Is this the girl, Colonel?"

"Yes. Eva, meet 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. Hawkeye, this is Evangeline Godric, daughter of the renowned Shadow Alchemist."

Hawkeye inspected me carefully before holding out her hand, "It's nice to meet you."

"Y-Yes…" I took her hand and shook it, though I felt terrified now.

I didn't feel like I was in danger. It was emotional terror I felt.

Her eyes. Her eyes were just too hauntingly familiar.

Too perceptive, too sharp…

"Way to forget me. I see how much you love me," said the blond man sarcastically. He glanced at me in the rearview. "2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc. Don't you worry, sweetheart, you're in good hands."

"She's just a child, Havoc, no matter how old she looks." Mustang retorted, his tone sharp and almost protective.

"Coming from the man who's got the hots for the nineteen-year-old mechanic…"

Let's just say Hawkeye had to take over driving after that comment.

We arrived at Central Headquarters, which was a massive white building with many steps and levels, and a vast courtyard. A green flag with a symbol that reminded me of a lion on it was draped over many of the walls. The car was parked and the door was opened for me by Mustang. I refused to move.

"Miss Godric, we need you to come with us."

"I'm not moving from this car until Ed's here."

Mustang groaned a bit and muttered, "Great, she's attached…"

"He's the only one on my side."

"That's not true." Mustang replied sharply, "I told you, you're here for questioning alone. I swore no harm would come to you to Winry. I mean that."

"I still won't feel comfortable without Ed here…"

I didn't understand why I was so attached to them already. I barely knew the Elrics and Winry. Perhaps it was because they were the very first friends I had in so long…

"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, YOU BASTARD!"

Hearing that familiar voice, shouting down the street, made a smile spread across my lips. I didn't feel scared anymore. I didn't feel alone.

"Your dork in rusty armor arrives," Havoc chuckled.

I smiled to myself, "I don't think the Fullmetal Alchemist will ever get rusty, Lt. Havoc." I said before springing out of the car.

Before Mustang could grab me, I was rushing up to Ed. Part of me wanted to throw my arms around him in a hug, but I controlled myself and simply grinned at him. He blinked.

"I-I'm ready to do this, Edward!"

"W…Wait, you are…?"

I nodded, "Just promise you'll stay with me!"

Taken aback, gold eyes widened before he gave a nod. "Promise."

Maybe now I could find some answers after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters. Self-insert. AU. Flames will not be tolerated and reviews are encouraged. Going to try and get the time frame to speed up since the first four chapters have taken over a course of… well… a day.

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><p>As the days went by, I was starting to slowly but surely place my faith in Colonel Mustang's word. No harm came to me, but I was getting sick and tired of seeing the blue uniforms. I answered any and all questions; even the simple ones I felt weren't needed. Soon they knew most of my personal information and every detail of America and Hartford I could supply.<p>

By the fifth day, I was about to tear my hair out. I felt aggravated by every little thing. The bland food in the cafeteria, the way the soldiers would stare at me, and having to be accompanied to the bathroom by Hawkeye. The only time I felt as if I had some privacy and time to gather my thoughts was at night.

Sure, I was in a room with military personnel guarding the doors, but there was a closed door between me and them.

Tomorrow morning, I would finally get the Führer's decision. That's what I had been informed by Sergeant Fuery, who was the only one who dared be open with me emotionally. I wasn't as attached to him as I had been with the trio from Resembool, but he seemed to be the only friendly face around.

I sighed as I tried to get comfortable, rolling onto my sides, my back, and finally onto my stomach. I hugged the pillow tightly, chewing on my cheek and glaring off into corner. The night was clear and moonlight shined through the window panes, illuminating the room.

During the time I wasn't answering questions or being watched, I had asked Fuery to take me to the library to research my father – my father from Amestris. Apparently he was born in Resembool, and he was certified as a State Alchemist when he was eighteen. He was at the peek of his research when he suddenly went missing for fifteen years.

I did the math and realized that the year he went MIA was the same year my father met my mother in my world. Fifteen years later was when he was found, in Resembool, going on and on about his daughter and needing to go back. He never said where exactly, but all he would talk about was his daughter – Evangeline Terezka Godric.

There wasn't any doubt about it. Somehow my father's research created a gateway between the two worlds or something. I didn't know - that was just my theory. He did work with manipulation of passageways, rifts in space. After learning more about Ed's story of saving Amestris, a lot of things were possible, especially with that of a Philosopher's Stone.

I clenched my eyes shut as I finally got out of bed, pitching my pillow.

I just didn't understand how this could happen. Back home we didn't have body to bury. According to the Central records, there was an empty casket for his funeral.

Nothing was making sense. Nothing at all. No matter how many times I told them I didn't know anything, they kept questioning me. It was getting frustrating and I felt trapped.

I crossed the room to the window, pressing my hand against the cold pane, looking out at the dark city. I looked in the direction of the Hughes residence, where my friends were staying with Gracia and her daughter Elysia. I was told about Maes Hughes and his death. I didn't know the man, but I still felt like I should cry for his loss. He seemed like a great man.

I missed them - Ed, Al, and Winry. I felt so alone again. That was my problem. For the first time, I had friends. Now I was forced to be kept away from them and it hurt. I didn't want to feel this pain. I just wanted to know why I was here, why all this happened.

"Miss Godric, are you awake?" Fuery called from the door.

"Yes. Is there something wrong?"

"No, just a visitor. I know it's late. Would you like to see him?"

My heart skipped a beat.

_It can't be… please let it be…_

I hurried to the door and opened it. Ed was on the other side. There was a conflict of emotions inside of me when I saw him. I was so happy to see him, yet at the same time I was disappointed. I think I would've felt the same way if it had been Alphonse who came to see me. In the end, I just wanted to see both of them.

Ed gave a half-smile and a wave, "Hey, Eva. They treating you okay?"

I didn't speak, simply staggered forward and locked my arms around him. I felt him stiffen, before awkwardly I felt the sensation of cold metal being pressed against the small of my back, warm skin against metal from where my tank had risen so my arms could lock around his neck. I buried my face into his shoulder, just so relieved to see him.

I'd never been one for affection, but trapped in this strange world, alone and scared, I couldn't help but long for a sign that I was okay, that I could be safe. Even if it was just for _five minutes_.

Just to crave that warmth that came from being close to another human being on a level that wasn't just physical.

I pulled back slightly as I felt his hand on the crown of my head. Ed ruffled my hair before he withdrew. I felt slightly rejected, and that confused me. I shouldn't feel that way, but there was no mistaking the feeling of rejection that hit me. Shaking it off, I turned to see Fuery was chuckling to himself.

"Sorry it's so late. I couldn't break away long enough to stop by earlier."

"What's been happening?"

"Orders, orders…more stupid orders…" Ed rolled his eyes, "The Colonel's running me ragged."

"What about Alphonse and Winry?"

"Winry's been spending time with Gracia, Elysia, and Sciezka."

"And Al…?"

Ed didn't say anything, and I suddenly was worried. I grabbed Ed's hand, his metal one, and forced him to look at me.

"Tell me, Edward. Please."

"We got an unexpected visitor from Xing."

"Xing?"

"Country across the desert."

"So Al's been with this visitor?"

"Mm-hmm… oh! That reminds me!" Ed reached into his pocket and withdrew what was attached to the silver chain. I was surprised to see a pocket watch with the same lion carving on the front. He took my hand and placed it in it, enclosing my fingers around it. My face warmed as I looked back up into his eyes. "This is my identification. Tomorrow, I want Fuery to take you and withdraw some funds. You need some clothes. You can't keep running around in mine."

Squeaking, I looked down and blushed heavily. I felt him ruffle my hair again.

"Take care of it, Eva. You should get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Ed…"

I heard the door shut behind him, but I couldn't bring my eyes from the pocket watch. I brushed my fingers against it, tracing the lion carefully as I sat on the edge of my bed, just holding it close to my chest.

I closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would find me soon to eliminate the hours that kept me away from my friends.

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><p>"Colonel Mustang, Lt. Hawkeye, Lt. Havoc, and the Fullmetal Alchemist."<p>

I was trembling. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop shaking.

Führer Grumman seemed kind enough, but he was still the leader of this country. He was a military man after all.

We stood in a circular room, with a long table with seats filled with high ranking officers. Colonel Mustang and Lt. Hawkeye stood on my right, saluting the Führer and standing at attention. Ed and Lt. Havoc stood on my left, and even Ed was saluting. I noticed a gold chair with three legs standing in the middle of the room. There was something odd about that chair, something that didn't seem right. Out of place, even.

"Sir," Mustang spoke, "Have you reached a decision concerning Miss Godric?"

Grumman looked down at me, and I was eerily reminded of a grandfather. He looked at me like I was a beloved granddaughter. Swallowing hard, I felt my clammy hands clutch at Ed's pants again – a nervous habit I had developed whenever I was in middle school. My heart was starting to pick up speed, and I felt Ed's arm brush against my own. It was just a brush, but to me it was a subtle sign of comfort, a sign that he was by my side.

He would keep his promise.

"Yes, we have, Lieutenant Colonel. We have only one last request from Miss Godric before we reveal our verdict."

"Y-yes?"

He gestured toward the chair, "Have a seat."

"But I-"

"Alchemy is the science of balance. If you have the gift, it will not reject you. Sit, please."

"O-Okay…"

I took a step forward and slowly began to lower myself onto the chair. I kept my eyes clenched shut. I was terrified of the outcome.

Did I want to remain standing, or did I want it to fall?

I seated myself upon the seat of the chair, and I felt my back press against something that was too broad to be the back of it. Opening my eyes, I saw that the chair was being held up by Ed's arm. I was seated on his knee, back pressed against his chest and his arm around my waist to keep me steady.

"Are we sure she's really the Shadow Alchemist's child?" murmured one of the men to Grumman's left. "She isn't an alchemist."

"It must be a counterbalance from her mother's genetics." Grumman waved it off. "Thank you, Fullmetal, for being chivalrous and preventing the young lady from hitting the floor."

Ed steadied me back onto my feet, before backing up to his spot beside Havoc. My heart was still racing and I couldn't fight the fire that had flooded my face. I felt Ed's pocket watch in my pocket, and I slipped my hand inside so I could hold it tightly.

"Sir, your verdict?" Mustang spoke up.

"Ah yes! Sorry!" Grumman smiled softly, "We've evaluated the situation the best we can and we've come to the conclusion the young lady is innocent of any taboos nor is she withholding any alchemic secrets for her father. In fact, I'm rather intrigued by the world she spoke of. It seems almost parallel to our own!"

"Does this mean you're letting her go?" Ed couldn't mask the excitement in his voice.

"Hmm, yes and no. She's still quite valuable to us. I was thinking of appointing a state officer as a bodyguard. Perhaps one of your men, Colonel."

Hawkeye interjected, "With all due respect, sir, we're still working on the restoration of Ishval in the East."

"I-I'll volunteer!"

I jerked around to see Ed had taken a step forward. Grumman smoothed his mustache while Mustang looked ready to volunteer himself, and then he simply smiled a bit and closed his eyes.

"I'll protect her, sir."

"Aren't you under your own orders and searching for a way to restore your body, Fullmetal?"

"She can come with me. Her father was a researcher; she should be able to help!"

Grumman chuckled, "You are a very noble boy, Edward Elric. Alright, we'll release Evangeline into your custody. She is now your responsibility."

"Thank you, sir!" Ed saluted him, and I saw him give me a small smile.

I, too, saluted the Führer. He chuckled and we were dismissed. No one else spoke a word until we were heading down the corridor. Mustang glanced at Ed.

"That was pretty cocky, Ed."

"You would've done the same thing if it was one of your friends." Ed was blushing faintly, "And I did it because Al wants her to be with us!"

"Covering up your affections with your little brother? Pretty slick there, Edward." Havoc chuckled.

"LIKE YOU CAN TALK, YOU IDIOT! I'M NOT THE ONE CHASING AFTER THE WOMAN WHO WOULD CAP ME IN THE ASS IF I GOT OUTTA LINE!"

For some reason, Havoc and Hawkeye were avoiding looking at one another after those words. I blinked; not really understanding what was going on, before I realized we were already outside and heading down the steps.

"Eva! Roy!"

Mustang and I turned, seeing Winry springing up the steps. She threw her arms around me tightly, catching me off-guard. Her feminine scent of lilies made me feel warm. It was surprising how a girl only a couple of years older than me could seem so motherly towards me. Her actions and affections were maternal.

Winry pulled back and smiled at me. I returned her smile.

"You should thank the Colonel. He's the only real reason I wasn't thrown in jail as some spy."

Winry smiled at him, Mustang just staring at her. Then, much to our surprise, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest.

"Thank you, Roy."

He returned the embrace, quickly, though there was a flicker of pain and longing as he stepped back.

"I kept my word, Winry, and I always am a man of my word." Roy turned to Hawkeye and Havoc, "We're due to head to the East tomorrow. We should get prepared."

"Sir!" both saluted and turned to do their duty.

"T-Thank you both!" I called out to them.

Havoc waved while Hawkeye actually turned and smiled. She reminded me of my mother, but she was a kind and selfless woman who stuck to her ambitions. I admired her for that. Fuery had told me a lot about the people he worked with, including 2nd Lieutenant Hymens Breda and 2nd Lieutenant Vato Falman. They were all good people, willing to do anything to push Colonel Mustang to the top.

Even though this wasn't my country and it had nothing to do with me, I kind of wanted Mustang at the top as well.

"I'm pretty sure you're sick of looking at this place by now." Ed joked, though I noticed he was sending the Colonel some pretty dirty looks. "How about you go clothes shopping with Winry? Fuery got the funds out, didn't he?"

I nodded and tightened my hold on the pocket watch, pulling it out and handing it to him. He took it silently and clipped it back onto his pants, slipping it into his pocket. I turned to look for Al, but I noticed he wasn't there.

"Hey where's –"

"E-Edward! W-Wait!"

We turned to see one of the officers running up to us. He looked out of breath and he was holding a small gray box. He stopped in front of me and handed it to me.

"This belongs to you."

"Huh?"

"As ordered by the will and testament of Randurdor James Godric the IV, all possessions left behind are to go to his daughter Evangeline Terezka Godric. This is all that was in his account."

I blinked and looked at the box, "There's no lock…"

"It's sealed with alchemy. Here, give it to me." Ed swiped it out of my hands and unsealed it, sliding back the lid. "Whoa, your father must've saved a lot from his research fund…"

"W-What do you mean!"

"There's a good seventy-five-thousand cens in here, plus his pocket watch. It's worn though and it's turned black. Must be a reaction from his research."

"C-Cens? S-Seventy-five t-thousand? How m-much is t-that in Am-American d-dollars?"

My head was spinning. I never even had a thousand dollars before in my possession. I watched as Ed counted out around five hundred before handing me the bills and the pocket watch. He then resealed the box and handed it to the officer.

"Put this with my account. No one but Eva is allowed access to it, do you understand? She doesn't have a bank account and she can't carry this amount of money with us."

"Yes, sir!"

I watched as the man ran off, staring at Ed and then down at the money and the black pocket watch.

"W-What do I…? H-How…?" I shook my head and then dug around my back pocket for the money Fuery gave me this morning, "Here!"

"No."

"W-What? B-But Ed!"

"Keep it. Get yourself some nice clothes. Something cute."

"But…"

He closed his eyes and grinned, "Hey, now, it's not like you're not adorable wearing my clothes, but c'mon, you're a lady right! You should dress like one!" He turned to Winry, "Can you get her settled while I go find Al?"

"Sure thing. We'll meet up at the café."

"Great. Have fun, Eva! Winry, you two be careful!"

"But… but… but…"

"Come along, Eva." Winry giggled, slipping her arm through mine, before she dragged me down the bustling street.

* * *

><p>"Maybe this?"<p>

"I don't really wanna wear a skirt…"

"Okay, okay, maybe some capris then?"

"Nu-uh."

_Ugh, at this rate I'm half-tempted to just steal Ed's clothes and tell him to deal._

As tempted as I was by that idea, I knew I'd never go through with it. I wandered amongst the clothing racks, trying desperately to find something that I would be comfortable in.

_'Hey, now, it's not like you're not adorable wearing my clothes, but c'mon, you're a lady right! You should dress like one!'_

_B-bmp!_

_Dammit, why can't I stop thinking about that! _I hung my head as I gripped one of the racks, groaning and crying inwardly. _That's so embarrassing! Why would he even say something like that?! Damn you, Elric!_

I bit my lip, realizing Al would probably say the same thing.

I really missed Alphonse. Part of me felt dejected by the fact he hadn't been there, waiting for me with Winry. Sighing, I finally just started to wander around, hoping Winry would find something.

After about another ten minutes, I found something in the boys' section. It seemed more unisex so I could get away with it. It was a hooded dark gray short-sleeved shirt. Winry found a black shirt that went to my elbows to wear underneath it, and we found me a pair of white form-fitting pants that reminded me of jeans. I also managed to find a pair of fingerless black gloves to wear. With the leftover funds, I bought a couple of tank tops, one dark green and the other black, along with a pair of green cargo pants similar to Ed's. Those were stored away into the dark gray messenger bag I bought.

I changed into my new clothes in a bathroom at a nearby café. I decided for once to leave my hair down. For some reason, I was starting to fuss a bit more over my appearance of late. Guess it was just hormone changes or something. Maybe it was the fact I didn't want to stick out too much in this place anymore than I did.

Last but not least, I hooked my father's pocket watch to my pants and slipped it into my pocket, leaving the restroom. I caught sight of the trio sitting at one of the larger tables on the terrace. I made my way through the crowd, feeling my heart start to flutter in my chest as I caught sight of Al. He was smiling and laughing while sipping a glass of tea.

I raised my hand to wave, parting my lips to call out to him when suddenly I was frozen in place.

An unrecognized pain erupted from my chest as my line of sight was cleared. A pretty and exotic girl, with dark eyes and buns, wearing a sleeveless purple dress was sitting beside Al, hugging his arm and looking at him with adoring eyes.

I never knew what it meant to have a broken heart until right then and there.

I never knew what it was like to realize I could've had something and it slipped through my fingers because I let chances slip by.

I never knew just how blind I really was until envy reared its ugly head.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters. Self-insert. AU. Flames will not be tolerated and reviews are encouraged. Haha there is so much pairing war going on right now :) Well too bad, so sad it's my choice who I pair with who, so sorry any EdWin fans. :p Thanks for the reviews and support.

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><p>I wanted to scream out and cry, but I knew I didn't have any grounds to do so. I had known Alphonse barely even a week. We were hardly friends. I didn't have a right to be jealous when it came to Al.<p>

My nails dug into my gloved palm as I made my way over to the table. There was an empty seat between Al and Ed. I took it but I scooted it closer to Ed.

"Wow, Eva, you look really cute!" Al exclaimed. "Doesn't she, Brother?"

I glanced at Ed, who rubbed the back of his neck and muttered something. I crossed my arms and looked down at the menu that Winry placed in front of me, barely hearing her tell me to order something to eat. My mouth was dry and blood was rushing in my eardrums. I felt uncomfortable, my stomach twisting in knots.

"So you're Evangeline?"

I finally heard the world around me, staring at the exotic girl with cold eyes. I wasn't going to warm up to her just because she was friends with the others. That wasn't my style. Unless it was proven to me that someone was trustworthy, I kept on my guard. I wasn't social and I wasn't going to start now.

"That's right." I replied, trying to keep my voice level and deadpan. I'd rather sound emotionless than reveal my dislike of the girl. "And you are?"

"Mei Chang, from Xing!"

"She's a princess," Ed remarked.

It was a warning, I realized. I tried to tame the fire of envy inside me. It wasn't like me to feel so possessive. Then again, these people were my first friends in years…

"Right," I said quietly. "Hey, so what's going to happen now?"

I wanted to steer the conversation away from Al's girlfriend. I found I couldn't even look at him, and I think he noticed. The waitress came and took my order, since everyone else had ordered while I was in the bathroom. I ordered something simple, just wanting to eat and get on with whatever was going to happen.

"We're heading back to Resembool. You need a few days of R&R, especially after being dragged around like a military plaything."

"Not me," Winry teased. "I'm heading to Rush Valley. Got a special request to answer to."

"Yep, so the four of us will be leaving tonight and Winry tomorrow morning."

_Four of…? Surely he doesn't mean…_

Mei cheered and hugged Al's arm tighter.

_Great. Just freakin' great. As if I wasn't already in a mood._

I swore, my own personal doom cloud had formed overhead, and there was a major storm brewing. I felt something touch my leg. I glanced down, expecting either Ed or Al's knee, only to scream and leap to my feet.

"WHAT THE HELL!? GET IT OFF!"

Whatever it was that was on my leg scurried up it, digging its claws through my pants. I hissed in pain and tried to grab the black-and-white creature, but it evaded me and got on top of my head. I went to reach up and snatch it, only to gasp as I felt sharp teeth digging into my forearm. The skin broke and I hissed violently, going to grab the little monster when I heard Mei give a defiant cry.

"No! Don't hurt my Xiao Mei!"

"Your what?!" I snarled, whirling around to stare down the couple of inches that separated me from the Xingese girl.

Mei grabbed the little monstrosity, prying its teeth from my arm. I looked and saw the bite marks had blood oozing from them, and the skin around them was flaming red. My arm throbbed with every second that passed, and I clutched it, glaring viciously at the creature now trembling in Mei's arms. I finally realized what it was.

It was a panda; only it was about the size of a house cat.

_Rabid bloodthirsty mini-pandas now. Awesome._

"Xiao Mei… she didn't mean to hurt you. You scared her."

"Put that little she-devil on a leash then," I spat. "Does she have rabies?"

"No! Xiao Mei is a very clean and proper panda!" Mei replied.

"Looks more like a little rat dog than a panda…" I muttered, glaring at the bite marks. "Might have parvo now or somethin'… great."

I felt someone gently grab my wrist and shoulder, and I looked up to see Al trying to inspect my arm. Reacting without thinking, I jerk back away from him and shouted the first words that came to mind.

"Don't touch me!"

"E-Eva, I j-just want to look at it! You're bleeding!"

I stepped back away from him, clutching my arm to my chest. I was shaking – in anger – I realized and I couldn't stand the thought of being touched. I was hurting and I didn't want to hurt anymore.

Without saying a word, I turned and hurried to the restroom. I slammed the door open and walked over to the sink, turning on the hot water. I shoved my arm underneath the spray, grinding my teeth at the burning sensation, but I refused to pull my arm back. I'd rather get any germs now before they could cause an infection to my arm and scar it.

The door opened and I saw Winry appear behind me in my reflection.

"Mei's really sorry."

"Don't care."

Winry sighed beside me; I could see her leaning against the wall in our reflection. She was watching me with eyes that were sympathetic.

I hated those eyes. I hated the way her blue orbs would look at me like I was some helpless child.

I wasn't helpless. I knew how to take care of myself. I had been doing that during my father's absence whenever he had to devote all his time to his research and my mother abandoned me. I had been doing that the past two years. All Uncle Jesse really did was just give me a roof over my head and feed me. Everything else I did on my own.

"Everyone's worried… how's your arm?"

"Why should they care?" I murmured. "They hardly know me."

Winry grabbed my arm, jerking me so that I was forced to look into those shearing blue eyes.

"Because we do care, no matter how long we know a person! Every person is important, even if we don't know them at all! Why do you think Ed and Al went through all that they did to save fifty-million lives in this country alone? Dammit, Evangeline, we're doing all that we can just to help you!"

"I don't want your help!" I snapped, "I'm used to doing everything alone, so why should I step back and let you take care of it? You're not my mother, Winry!"

Flinching, I withdrew and my back hit the tiled wall as I saw her eyes widen. I brought my hand to my head, hiding my eyes in it. I felt horrible for saying such words to her; felt embarrassed by my own thoughts…

"Do you really think I've been mothering you…?"

"…I'm so sorry… I'm sorry to place that burden on you…"

My voice was thick and I was fighting the tears blurring my vision. I expected her to leave. To just be done with me.

"Ed told me… about how your mom left when you were just a kid, and how she wasn't even really a mom to you when she was around…"

I flinched again. I didn't want her to know that. Didn't want to feel like I was some pity case.

I went to open my mouth, to say something, but suddenly I couldn't pin my thoughts and feelings down with words.

All I felt…

Warmth.

I felt warmth all around me, even deep inside where it always felt cold and even hollow. I lifted my head and found my face was buried into Winry's shoulder. She had her arm wrapped around me, one placed on the back of my head. She was holding me, like a mother would a child.

Like she was my mom.

Not Angelina, though. No, she held me like I was her precious daughter who needed the comfort that only a mother could give. Suddenly, it didn't matter that she was only two years older than me. All that mattered was the warmth.

"I know that I can't really be a mother towards you, but I promise I will always be here for you - to comfort you and just listen when you need a shoulder to cry on. It doesn't matter that you're from another world and that you've only been in our lives for a short amount of time. You're our dear friend, Eva, and we're not going to let you fall to pieces. We'll hold you up."

"But…it's not…not your burden…" I choked out, the lump scorching my throat starting to become unbearable.

Winry laughed softly against my ear, stroking my hair. "You're never going to be a burden…"

For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to cry in front of someone else. I don't know how long I sobbed into Winry's shoulder, how long I clutched her and just poured out the pain, but in the end it didn't matter. She stayed with me and proved to me right then and there the one truth I always tried to run from.

I wasn't alone.

Not anymore.

* * *

><p>"I figured I'd find you here."<p>

I turned to see Al arriving at the top of the hill. I gave a small wave before placing my hand back on my lap, gripping my knees as I rocked back and forth on the swing, just looking out at the peaceful landscape of Resembool.

It had been a couple of days since we left Central and returned to the quaint village. It was a warm autumn day, warm enough for me to just run around in a tank top and an old pair of Winry's overall cut offs that Pinako leant me.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Al asked, ruffling the back of his dark honey colored hair.

I shrugged. He leaned against the trunk of the tree, just staring off into the distance like I was. No matter how hard I tried not to look at him, I couldn't help but steal a glance or two out of the corner of my eye as I retightened my ponytail. He wore a simple hunter green t-shirt with a pair of khaki shorts and boots. It was alarming how handsome he looked yet he could pull off adorable as well.

"Where's Mei?" I finally inquired.

As far as I could tell, that girl was attached to Alphonse's hip.

"Showing Brother some of the alkahestry notes she brought from Xing."

"Alkahestry's the alchemy they practice out in the East, right?"

"Yeah. I'm glad you remembered."

I lowered my eyes to my black hiking boots, digging the toe into the dirt and not saying anything. I didn't really know what to say. I felt awkward after the way I jerked away from Al, even shouted at him when all he had been doing was showing concern.

Concern I didn't deserve…

Al was quiet and I heard him move. He settled himself on the grass beside me, legs crossed and hands resting in his lap. One bronze orb glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and I felt my face heat up once again.

It never failed around Alphonse. There was just something about him that sent my nerves on the fritz. I doubt I had ever reacted this way around a boy before.

"Eva, are you mad at me…?"

"No." I replied shortly.

"You sound mad… did I say something that hurt your feelings? If I did, I'm really sorry! I never want to make you upset and cry!"

That alone made me want to cry. The fact he was so selfless and took my feelings into so much consideration when they shouldn't matter that much at all. No one had ever really treated me that way before.

"You didn't make me cry… I made myself cry."

He blinked, having turned to face me completely, hands pressed against the ground. I turned to look down at him, smiling sadly and fighting the overwhelming emotions tossing and turning inside of me.

"It doesn't matter, Al."

"But it does matter if it made you cry!" he said, a little stubbornly, widening his eyes at me and almost pouting.

_I swear, that look is illegal. And cruel. My heart can't take this!_

"Look, it really doesn't, okay?" I said, a little more sharply than I intended, looking back out towards the strawberry fields.

I noticed Mei down there, plucking strawberries with Xiao Mei riding on her shoulder. I couldn't help but compare myself to her. She had a curvaceous build and was really pretty, especially with her raven hair and big dark eyes and porcelain skin. Just like a China doll back home.

I was plain in comparison. I barely had a bust size, and I wasn't slender like she was. I was of an average build and my face was rounder. I still hadn't lost all of my baby fat. My skin was pale, but not like porcelain. More like a ghost. My hair was thick and hard to manage, just a dull shade of dark brown. The only thing that I ever was complimented on was my eyes.

"You're mad at me again…"

"Dammit, Al, I am not!" Frustrated, I kicked at the ground, "Can you just go pick strawberries with your girlfriend and leave me alone?"

"W-What?"

I glanced at him, seeing him pink and suddenly he was more interested in tugging at the grass than looking at me. I cocked my head to the side and sweatdropped at the boyish reaction.

"M-Mei's n-not my g-girlfriend."

_Sure, she isn't. You're blushing like a school-girl, dork._

"Well it's kind of obvious that she likes you." I pointed out. "Can't you tell?"

"Well…kinda…but…I dunno…" Al hugged his knees to his chest and started to draw in the dirt.

I groaned softly and then sighed. "Al, do you like her or not?"

His blush was darkening, "I-I dunno… I-I think s-she's pretty a-and st-stuff but…"

Why did I feel like I was dealing with a boy whose romantic experience was equivalent to that of a ten-year-old with a schoolboy crush on his childhood friend?

…oh wait, I was.

"But…?"

"…I just don't know…"

"Do you like someone else?"

Al squeaked, "N-no!"

I sweatdropped.

"Lemme guess, it's Winry, huh?"

"N-Nuh-uh! Ed's the one who likes Winry! Though I think Winry's moved on." Al sweatdropped himself and looked deep in thought, "I think she might be starting to like the Colonel."

"Wait, what? Mustang?"

"Yeah. They've been getting closer over the past couple of years."

"He's like only in his twenties right?"

"I think so."

"Haha, they'd be a cute couple." I remarked.

Al just sweatdropped, "I just want Winry happy. But if she ends up with the Colonel, I'm pretty sure Brother's gonna have a conniption fit. Possibly lose it all together. She was his first love after all." He laughed softly, eyes closing.

I looked down, "I just want Ed to be happy too. Think he'd ever be able to move on?"

"I'm pretty sure of it. Ed does notice other girls…" Al glanced at me shyly as he said those words.

"Eh? Why you lookin' at me?"

"Haha, it's nothing."

I was quiet before I looked back down at my boots, "Hey…Al…?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think…I'm…c-cute…?"

"Adorable,"

"Y-yeah but…like…c-cute like…W-Winry…?"

"Hmm… I don't make comparisons." Al teased softly, "but you are very pretty, and not just on the outside. You have a very kind heart and a sweet personality. You're a nice girl, Eva."

I smiled at those words, feeling better.

"So… Mei's not your girlfriend?"

"S-She's n-not!"

I laughed as he flushed bright red.

"Just checking!" I sang.

He blinked those soulful bronze eyes, "Eh? Checking what?"

"Doesn't matter. Hey, can we go find Ed? I want to pick on him about liking Winry."

"Why when all you have to do is say the word 'small'?"

Laughing, I hopped to my feet, pressing my hand against my thigh as I leaned down to extend a hand to Al. He grasped it and I helped him to his feet. We smiled at one another, and I went to let go when Al tightened his hold on me and started to lead me down the hill.

I blushed but smiled, holding hands with my friend, wondering if maybe I had found a home after all.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Please remember to check out to poll on my profile page – every vote counts :3 Oh and the song "Place of Memory" by Nobuo Uematsu fits this chapter towards the end.

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><p>"T-Thanks again!"<p>

I nervously double-checked the bag of groceries before I looked both ways before crossing the street. The sky was still streaked with shades of gold and pink. The sounds of early morning bustling were actually nice to hear.

Last night, I had trouble sleeping after Winry got in late from her trip to Rush Valley. I had overheard Ed and her talking about me. Of course, I didn't have the heart to listen in and I hid in my bed afterwards, but this morning I decided that I wanted to do something nice for them all – including Mei.

So, the moment it was daybreak, I snuck out as quietly as possible so not to disturb anyone, and hurried my way through the village down to the market to pick up some things to make breakfast. I wanted to get back to the house before Pinako woke up and got started on it. I still had about an hour or so until then.

I stopped as a car went driving by, the man riding in the passenger seat waving at me. I smiled and waved back politely, before turning to continue my walk back towards the house on the hill. I held the bag in my arms, pressed against my black windbreaker, which I wore with a pair of khaki shorts that Pinako had found. They were worn and a few years old, but they fit me and it was nice to not wear pants all the time.

My eyes focused on the road now, catching glimpses of my reflection as I evaded puddles here and there from the drizzle we had in the middle of the night. My boots splashed in a small one as I jerked my head up, narrowly evading the paperboy. He glared at me over his shoulder, sticking his tongue out and tugging on his eyelid.

"Watch it, lady!"

"S-Sorry!" I called, wincing as the kid lost control of his bike and nearly crashed into a fruit stand. "Be careful!"

"Shut up, you hag!"

I felt a vein throb in my forehead, "You little snot…" Shaking my head, I turned and walked away, not caring if he got a melon stuck on his head.

The rest of my walk was pleasant as I hiked up the hills and through the strawberry fields to head back to the Rockbell's. As I neared a small cottage nestled within a grove of trees, I felt a strange chill go down my spine. I paused at the foot of the stone bridge, turning to inspect it.

The trees formed a canopy around the cottage, with the leaves an array of yellow, red, orange, and ebony. An old man was seated on the steps, one leg crossed with his hands on his knees. He was watching me with a smile on his face, peering at me over the tops of his half-moon glasses with cloudless eyes.

"Well good mornin' to you, young lady. What's a youngster like you doing out and about on a school day?"

I sweatdropped and cringed, "Oh, I'm already graduated!"

"Haha, playing hooky, eh?"

I really wasn't, but I didn't want to argue with the elderly man. I had graduated early, having earned all of my credits with my AP classes. I may've struggled with science, but that didn't mean I didn't study and work hard. I was trying to make enough money to pay for my college tuition working at the old library.

Back in the world I came from, but of course that didn't matter here. Here, I was just a seventeen-year-old girl; just a child in the eyes of the world.

"Hmm, whatcha got there? Looks like ingredients for a good old-fashioned family breakfast."

My face felt warm but I was beaming, "It is. An old family recipe too. My father's the one who taught it to me."

"May I see?"

Cautiously, I inched closer toward the front porch and the elderly man. I wanted to keep some distance. I wasn't naïve and I wasn't going to trust a complete stranger – even though the strangers in Resembool seemed honest and friendly. I examined the man closely as I handed over my bag for him to look at. He seemed to be in his late sixties, and his dark brown hair – the same color as my own – was graying. He wore it in loose waves down to his shoulders and swept back from his face.

His eyes were what drew me in. Dark grey, stormy even. Only a shade darker than my own. He looked like he was handsome in youth, looking wise in his elderly age. He put off an air that was both kind yet strong. He wasn't one to trifle with.

He reminded me of Führer Grumman, actually.

"Hmm, I recognize these ingredients. You haven't been rifling through my dear sweet Rowena's pantry have you? Spying on her cooking through the kitchen window?"

"N-No sir! I-I would n-never!"

There was a fire that danced in his eyes, a sparkle that seemed familiar almost.

"Rowena, seems to me the youngsters are at it again! Spying for Pinako, I bet!"

I shook my head frantically, "No, no sir, you have it all wrong! This was my father's mother's recipe, I swear! He said she taught him when he was a little boy!"

"There's no way your mamaw could know Rowena's wildforest pancakes, it's an original recipe."

"Sir, you -"

"Now what's all the commotion, Rand?"

I blinked as a woman, still stunning in her graceful aging, stepped out onto the porch wearing a simple purple and white plaid button down with khaki pants. Her black hair was a rich shade, worn in a long plait, and she had wise blue eyes. Her husband snickered as he held up my bag of groceries, with me giving a small cry and about to lunge forward and snatch it.

"Ingredients for my wildforest pancakes, even down to the secret ingredient – pomegranate seeds."

"I didn't steal your recipe, ma'am." I said, "As I was trying to tell your husband, it was my grandmother's recipe. My father taught me when I was young."

"Sounds suspicious, eh? Such a sweet lookin' girl as well. Such a shame. Kids." Rand snorted, "Dunno what to do with 'em in this crazy changin' world with alchemy and the whatnot. First our son runs off goin' on 'bout that crazy science, then he up and disappears for over a decade, and then bam! He's dead. Just goes and dies on us. Leaves us with no grandkids! Now whose gonna carry on our bloodline?"

Rowena sighed and stepped off the porch, handing me back my bag. I expected for her to start harping at me like her senile husband was, but instead she simply brought a hand to my head and ruffled my hair. A noise of disgruntlement escaped my throat as I stepped back, seeing she was smiling at me as I attempted to smooth down my hair.

"Run back to Pinako's, little one. Tell her Rowena says to stop by for some tea."

"Um…okay then…"

"R-Rowena!?"

"Rand, she's a good girl and she didn't steal from us." Rowena said, turning to place her hands on her hips. "Now aren't you, my loving husband, supposed to be fetching me some firewood?"

"Yes, dear…"

I blinked and tried to tiptoe away when Rowena's voice stopped me, "Don't mind him, sweetheart. He's just a man aching for what he's lost."

"Huh?" I managed before she was quickly shooing me across the bridge before the senile old man could come back. "Um… thanks!"

I hugged the bag to my chest and ran across the bridge, running up that hill and trying to ignore the strange feeling that washed over me.

* * *

><p>"There, all finished!"<p>

I grinned, pleased with myself as I set the last stack of pancakes on the plate. The table was set and I felt really proud of myself. For the first time in a long time, I had cooked for someone else. I didn't even catch the skillet on fire this time!

I glanced at the time, realizing the others would be getting up around now. I washed my hands and untied my hair, shaking my head to allow it to fall around my face like curtains. I tucked the strands behind my ears and fixed my bangs, before untying Winry's apron and hanging it back up. All the dishes were clean and drying, and I even got some fresh milk from the neighbor for Al and Winry to drink. I remembered that Ed had a serious distaste for milk – I didn't care too much for it myself, unless it was chocolate milk – so I made sure to pick up some apple juice.

I brushed the remnants of pancake mix off my windbreaker, making a face at a few stubborn traces before shrugging it off and tying it around my waist. I readjusted the straps of my tank top and swallowed hard, subconsciously playing with the chain leading into my pocket as I watched the clock, hearing the sounds of the others waking up coming from above. I was about to grasp the pocket watch, as if it was a symbol of comfort, when suddenly I stopped.

It wasn't Ed's pocket watch in my possession – it was my father's.

My father should've always been a thought that I could draw comfort from, but lately it was getting harder and harder to. With all the secrets and grievance I had to endure because of him…

Being wrenched into another world without any idea or traces of how I got here.

Technically speaking, wasn't I half-Amestrian? There was an entire culture, an entire heritage I did not know because my father kept it from me. Did I have family in this world? My father was born in Resembool.

I wondered who my grandparents were. Did I have any aunts or uncles, maybe cousins? Did my father have a family before he met my mother? Did I have a sister or brother?

It was like there was a side of myself I didn't know at all. Like she was a lost and familiar stranger trapped inside of me, just under the surface.

I wanted to know that side of me. Wanted to explore this world and discover what it had to offer. Earth didn't have anything left for me. Jesse was merely my godfather who was burdened with the task of watching out for me since my mother abandoned me and didn't want anything to do with me. None of my mother's family cared enough about me to want to burden themselves with a socially-awkward teenager. I didn't have any close friends whose parents loved me as if I was there own – I never knew that luxury of having a "second family" as it was called.

Not until now.

Not until Pinako and Winry took me in. Not until Alphonse showed he cared and Edward showed he was willing to stand between me and the military. Even Mustang and Hawkeye, Havoc and Fuery, they acted like family towards me.

Like I mattered.

Never had I felt this way with anyone other than my father – the very father I was having to question. It was as if he had two identities. His Amestrian identity and his American.

Who was he, really?

_Who are you? _A voice in the back of my mind sneered.

I whimpered and sunk down in my seat, placing my head in my hands. I didn't want to think about this anymore. Not when I was tired and anxious. Not when I was already trying to fight my way through the emotional current raging inside of me.

Al's face sprung to mind. His kind smile and soulful eyes. He was the first boy who ever made me feel like I was pretty.

I thought of Winry. Of her loving warmth and her beautiful blue eyes that looked at me, truly saw me for who I was – still a child, yet still growing up.

And last, but not least, I thought of Ed.

_B-bmp… b-bmp…b-bmp! B-bmp! B-bmp!_

_W-Why is my heart racing so fast…?_

I clutched my chest, and it was getting harder to breathe. I felt strange. Lightheaded.

_Stop thinking… stop it… just…_

I couldn't get him out of my head.

Couldn't stop thinking about everything he'd said and done already in the short time I'd known him. I didn't understand. With Alphonse, I kind of knew what was going on.

At least I thought I did. What did I know? I was naïve in so many ways.

Never even had my first kiss…

So why did I…

_Clink!_

I jerked, all thoughts disrupted as I heard the sound of metal hitting hard wood. I looked down and saw my pocket watch had slipped out of my pocket, hanging and catching the light, shimmering like black chrome. I grasped it in my hand, and tried to open it.

It was sealed, just like the box had been.

More secrets.

It was almost too much to take.

"Oh well…" I perked up as I heard the stairs creak, my fingers crossing. "Please God or whoever's listening… please let them see how much I care…"

It was the only prayer I could dare ask for without any ground to stand on.

* * *

><p>"Evangeline, you've outdone yourself." Pinako remarked, sipping her cup of coffee.<p>

Winry nodded in agreement as she went to take her place. I watched as Ed finally roused himself, entering the kitchen yawning. My face flamed at the sight of his hair down, tousled from sleep, and he only wore a black undershirt with his pajama bottoms. I quickly averted my eyes from the automail and the scarring around it, unsure if I wanted to hear the tragedy as to why his body was in that state. He pulled out his seat, blinked a few times sleepily, before his entire face lit up.

"Wow, what a spread! Damn, these look so good! I've never seen pancakes look this good!"

_WHACK!_

Winry set down her trusty wrench as Ed clutched his head. He growled and glared at her menacingly as she sipped her milk, eyes closed. I giggled into my hand, just watching _them_ – my almost family.

"Why the hell did you go and do that, Winry?!" Ed snarled.

"It's rude to disrespect your hostess, Edward."

"H-Hostess?! I've been living here for three damn years!"

"It's still my house, Edward! It's our automail that pays the bills here, not your dirty blood money the military pays you with!"

Ed went to retort when a new voice – a voice I didn't expect – cut into the conversation.

"Is the money I spent on that pretty new dress blood money too?"

I swear to God, I had never seen a man look more like a dejected puppy than I did Roy Mustang in that one moment. Staring in shock, I watched as he stepped into the kitchen, not wearing a uniform for once. Instead he wore a simple black button down with black trousers, the top buttons left undone. Winry's cheeks tinged pink as she smiled at him and pulled out the chair beside her, getting up to pour him a cup of coffee.

"…W-Why's the Colonel here?" I blurted out, scooting my chair back and my body immediately curled into a defense position, as if I was the one about to be beamed with the wrench. "I'm not gonna get arrested again, am I?!"

He chuckled, "Relax, Eva, I'm not here on business. I actually ran into Miss Rockbell in Rush Valley and escorted her home. She insisted I stay the night."

I did relax, resuming my original position and scooting my chair in. "Oh… well there's plenty of food, so eat up. I made sure to make a lot in case anybody wanted seconds."

"Thank you." Mustang replied politely, before he was handed the cup of coffee. "And thank you, lovely lady."

Winry blushed prettily and I saw Ed clamp down on his fork with a little more force than necessary. A second later, he was clutching his jaw and grumbling incoherently. I tried really hard not to laugh, but it was hard not to. Instead, I settled for standing up and patting him on the head. The action caught both of us by surprise, but instead of freaking out, I saw Ed smile at me. He then took my hand and pressed it to his cheek.

My entire face was burning like fire at the sign of affection.

"Where's Al?"

Winry and Ed exchanged a look, "Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Alphonse and Mei left about six-thirty this morning. They're heading to Xing."

My heart sunk.

"W-What? W-Why?"

"Mei's clan needed some help, and Al's been studying Xingese alkahestry in the East. He's gotten really acquainted with most of the clans there, especially with the power struggle that happened. Ling's emperor now and all, but Al still helps out."

"But it's not his burden."

"Doesn't matter. Al's one who helps those who cannot help themselves. It's his nature. Mei helped save our country too, and it wasn't her problem." Ed remarked.

I looked away and then said quietly, "How come he didn't say goodbye?"

"He knew you were having trouble sleeping last night… we wanted you to sleep in."

"I was up at five-thirty." I shot, "And I was in town."

Winry winced slightly, clearly seeing the expression of pain on my face. "I'm sorry, Eva. I'm sure Al will make it up to you when he gets back in a month."

_A month? He just up and left me…for a whole month…without even saying…_

"I hope you guys enjoy the breakfast…" I whispered.

My happy moment was shattered. Everything I had planned was ruined.

_Al, he…_

"Eva…Eva, hey!" Ed shouted as I ran out the back door.

I couldn't believe I was crying again.

I was so weak! Damn these emotions and my stupid sensitivity! I never wanted to grow attached! I didn't want to feel this way!

It was hard to breathe, between my sobbing and my running. I didn't even know where I was running too. All I knew was I just wanted to be alone so I could cry without anyone having to see me acting like a selfish brat.

I didn't want to be selfish. I couldn't help it. For the first time ever I felt like…

I thought someone liked me.

I was foolish to think someone like Al would ever like a girl like me. He was one who helped those who couldn't help themselves. His actions were never to be interpreted as romantic and I was stupid to think he was doting on me because he liked me. Hell, Al acted just like a big brother sometimes.

"Stupid…stupid…"

I didn't know whom I was calling stupid.

Alphonse.

Myself.

Maybe both of us.

Suddenly the world slipped from underneath me. I hit the ground hard and gasped as pain shot from my side. The wind was knocked out of me and all I could do was writhe in pain, gasping for air. As soon as I was able to move, I pulled myself to a sitting position and clutched my side. I opened my eyes and saw I was on the slope of the river. I had landed on a large rock.

I could see myself in the river; see my red-rimmed eyes and the tears staining my face. I untied my windbreaker and wiped my face with it, before shoving my arms through the sleeves and zipping it up. I hugged my knees to my chest, ignoring the throbbing that came from my side from doing so, and I just watched the river's flow.

"Eva…"

I heard that familiar sigh, that underlying condescending tone.

"Go away, Elric, I don't want your lectures or your pity."

"Stop acting like a brat who had her favorite toy taken away for five seconds would ya and just talk to me…"

"There's nothing to talk about!"

I slammed my eyes shut, pressing my fists tightly to my chest, where my heart was frantically trying to escape my ribcage. It hurt. Why did it have to hurt? I felt his hand on my head, with him ruffling my hair. It was meant to be comforting and affectionate, but it just made the pain worsen. Another brotherly action. Was I just a kid sister to them?

"There is something to talk about – you have a crush on Al, don't you?"

I didn't answer. I think he took my blood red face as answer enough.

"Al is fond of you, Eva. Don't forget that. I can't tell you how my brother feels about you though. Al's never had any real experience with girls before. Mei's the first girl to ever like him…well openly."

I groaned and opened my eyes partway, "You're not helping, Ed."

"Ugh, I'm no good with these sorts of things!"

I glanced and saw Ed sprawl backwards, watching the clouds. He looked cute and almost child-like. I turned my body so that I could look back at him – gold eyes met gray.

"Anybody can see you're pretty…" he whispered, "Even a dope like me."

Before I could react, Ed hopped onto his feet and extended his metal hand towards me. I turned and ignored it for a second, but I could tell he was determined to help me to my feet. Still I didn't take it. Ed rolled his eyes and then grabbed me by my waist.

I screamed.

"Put me down!"

"No way. I have a surprise for you."

"EDWARD!"

I kicked as he heaved me over his shoulder like a sack of flour. The world became topsy turvy and I felt my stomach churning.

"Seriously, I'm gonna get sick!"

"Stop kicking and wiggling around then, dumbass."

I stopped struggling; pouting that he had overpowered me. I watched as the grassy slope became level ground, which then became cobblestone.

"Why are we crossing the bridge?" I demanded.

"I had the Investigations Department do a little digging about your old man. We found out that both his parents are still alive and living well – here in Resembool."

"W…What?"

Ed glanced over his shoulder, smiling. "You're going to get to meet your grandparents, Evangeline."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Much love to those who read and reviewed last chapter.

* * *

><p>My heart was thumping so fast, I could barely hear myself think. The only thing I could do was wait until Ed stopped walking so I could finally be put down. The moment my feet touched the ground, I felt my knees buckle underneath me. Ed swiftly grabbed my arm and tried to keep me steady.<p>

"Is she injured?"

_No way._

I knew that voice. There wasn't anyway I could forget her voice that fast.

I slowly turned to look over my shoulder, taking in the old cottage nestled amongst the trees, watching as Rowena got to her feet from where she had been digging underneath the kitchen window. She brushed off her hands and approached, an eyebrow rising.

I can't believe I didn't see it before. She even had my nose, and the same eye shape. Her eyes were wide, almost child-like, just like mine. I swallowed hard, managing to get onto my unsteady feet. Ed went to remove his hand, but I grabbed it and shook my head. Silently understanding, the blond turned his head back toward the elderly woman.

"She's fine, just a bit of shock. I'm Edward Elric, the one who phoned you yesterday."

"Oh, the one who said the military found something in regards to our son."

"That's right."

Rowena nodded, "Hold on just a moment and allow me to fetch my husband. Rand!" She called out for him through cupped hands, wandering toward the side of the house and in the direction of an old well. "Randurdor!"

My body went rigid as that name was called. My father's name was unique, unheard of, yet he was the fourth in the family line. Meaning the only way that senile old man could have that first name simply meant that…

_They really are my grandparents._

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Rowena blinked and looked at me oddly after my outburst. I clamped my hands over my mouth and looked down as Rand came shuffling back over to his wife. He scratched the back of his head, before he jolted and pointed at me.

"Yo, it's the thief!"

_Did he really just say 'yo'? And call me a thief! What the hell, man?!_

I sweatdropped and groaned, placing my head in my hands. Ed patted me on the shoulder as I lifted my head and looked at him for a moment.

"Rand, be nice. This is Edward Elric, the one who phoned us last night concerning our son."

Rand blinked before he rubbed the back of his neck, "So why's that girl with him?"

"I'm sure Edward will explain it over some tea. Please, come inside."

Ed nodded and went to walk forward. I willed my feet to follow his lead, but they were rooted to the ground. Ed turned back to me as the couple scurried inside, Rand grumbling and Rowena scolding him. I felt him grip my shoulders, staring directly into my eyes. I wasn't uncomfortable and my face didn't warm. I simply stared back.

"You okay?"

"Not really."

"It'll be alright. They're your family."

"Just because someone's related to you by blood doesn't automatically make them family. Family is something that is a unit of people who care for one another and know each other on an intimate level. Family is selflessly sacrificing in order to protect a member. It's pure, unconditional love. I don't know these people, Edward, so how in the world am I supposed to suddenly just accept them as family?"

No more words passed between us before I felt conflicting sensations of warm and cold as he cupped my face in his hands. Subconsciously, I nuzzled my cheek into the cool metal of his right hand. Ed's lips twitched into a small half-smile before he pressed his forehead to mine and reached up with his other hand to ruffle my hair. I felt at ease, comforted even by my dear friend's actions.

With every day that passed, I noticed that Ed was opening up to me, a little at a time.

I also noticed that I was changing.

"Ed…?"

"Yeah, Eva?"

"You're one of my best friends."

He blinked and pulled back, staring at me in surprise. I felt myself blush but I smiled shyly, reaching down to take his hand. I brushed my thumb against the smooth metal plating of automail, before tugging a little. He staggered a bit as we headed for the front steps, climbing onto the porch and hesitating outside of the screen door. I heard Rowena call for us to come inside and not to be shy, with Rand making an off comment about mud. I opened the door and we stepped inside.

The cottage was small, with a nice fireplace set in the living room with a hearthrug in front of it, and a nice living room suite. A kitchenette was set off to the side, and there was a hallway that branched off toward the back, which held the bedrooms and bathroom. Rowena and Rand were seated at the round kitchen table, four cups of tea set out. Ed and I walked over to the table and we took our seats, with Rowena pushing the cups closer.

No one spoke for a moment as I cupped the tea in my hand, brushing my thumbs against the porcelain and trying hard not to make eye contact with the elderly couple. There was awkwardness in the air around us, one that was hard to ignore. Ed cleared his throat.

"As I informed you on the phone last night, the Investigations Department has found something in regards to your son, Randurdor Godric the IV, also known as the Shadow Alchemist." I shifted my eyes toward Ed – it was just downright odd to hear him speaking so formally and like a military officer. "Mr. and Mrs. Godric, I'd like for you to meet your granddaughter, Evangeline."

Silence cut through the air. Rand stared at me for a long moment, and Rowena placed a hand to her heart. She looked overjoyed by the news – he looked like he had swallowed a goldfish.

"We have… oh, honey…"

I clenched my jaw as Rowena swooped around the table, enveloping me in an embrace. I awkwardly returned the hug, patting her on her back. She smelled heavily like roses and jasmine – an earthy scent. I felt her release me and gently cup my face, turning it slightly to better inspect my facial features.

"She has his eyes…" she breathed, amazed.

"You mean…she…really is…" Rand finally spoke. "Our son…our son gave us a grandchild… a girl…" He lowered his eyes to his lap, and I noticed he clutched at his thigh much like I did. "Well… at least the Godric line won't die off… but… no one to carry on our last name…"

"You haven't any other children or grandchildren? No brothers or sisters?" I asked slowly.

"No. We both came from families as only children. We tried to have more babies, but my body couldn't handle it." Rowena pressed her hands to her stomach, "I've had three miscarriages. Randurdor was our little miracle."

I lowered my eyes to my lap, where I was playing with the hem of my windbreaker. I felt awful. Earlier, I had thought to myself I wanted to know more about my Amestrian heritage. Now that I was, I didn't really want to know.

"I'm sorry I accused you of stealing." Rand suddenly spoke up, "You really are my granddaughter. I can't believe I didn't see it this morning. You have his eyes and my hair color… and you have Rowena's nose and you have that precious smile…"

I swallowed hard, "I…"

I looked at Ed, wordlessly communicating with him. He shook his head slightly and I gave a subtle nod. It was better to not involve them with the craziness that I was enduring. They needn't suffer for their son's actions like I was.

"You're staying with Pinako, right? I wonder why she didn't inform us… Godric isn't a common surname…"

"We wanted to make sure. Eva's arrival here was…unexpected. Pinako thought it best to just take her in for the time being."

"Well you'll always have a place to stay here, Evangeline." Rowena stated. "We're family and we're going to get to know one another. I'm so happy to know that I'm a grandma."

"I'm happy to have met you." I replied, honestly. "I'd like…to remain staying with the Rockbells, however."

"That's understandable. They have taken you in and been there for you. We're just strangers, in your eyes. To you, they're family."

I stared at the old man; shocked he had read me so easily. Normally I was very difficult to read. He was smiling, with that familiar fire dancing wickedly in his eyes.

My father had that same fire.

The signs had all been there – I had just been too oblivious to truly put them together.

I looked at Ed, seeing him stoically taking in his surroundings, but I noticed something I hadn't before. His eyes betrayed his every emotion. And right now, I could see the emotions I myself was desperate to keep from being betrayed by my own eyes.

Sorrow and strife.

This was only the beginning to the long, twisting road of secrets my father had laid out for me.

* * *

><p>"Alchemy hurts my brain!" I announced, dropping the text onto the steadily growing pile of books beside the couch.<p>

I was sprawled out in the living room, trying to do some more research on my father. Today had been an eventful day and already night was falling. Ed disappeared shortly after we got back home after seeing Winry and Mustang talking on the porch. It had been an awkward moment to interrupt, for the Colonel had just tucked a flower behind Winry's ear. I swear he was about to kiss her too. Ed ran off upset and I wasn't able to follow him without drawing attention from the mechanic and raven-haired man. Instead I snuck around to go inside through the kitchen. Pinako wanted to know my secrets for the pancakes. I politely turned her down and then decided to do some research after a shower.

It was definitely turning into an eventful evening as well.

I grabbed another book and opened it, flipping through the yellowed pages, trying to stifle a yawn as my mind tried to comprehend the words. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open. I fought my exhaustion, however. I wanted to know more, wanted to understand. My father had a gift – a gift that should've been passed down to me, yet I wasn't able to understand alchemy. Maybe Führer Grumman had a point when he said my mother's genetics interfered.

I glanced at the ceiling thoughtfully, my book pressed against my chest. I hadn't given much thought to my mother. The one time she crossed my mind was when I first met Hawkeye. They shared the same brown eyes. At first it had been alarming, then it was just easy to ignore. Right now was the first time I actually wondered how she was doing. Did she ever think of me, her daughter?

_Doubt it._

My eyes glanced at the time. It was almost midnight. Ed still hadn't come back. Mustang was staying the night again.

I was actually really worried about Ed. I knew what it was like, to surrender to jealousy, and the hurt that came from seeing the one you cared for doting on or being with someone else. I did like Al, but I wasn't sure how strong my feelings were. It was infatuation, that much I knew. My feelings couldn't even hold a flame in comparison to how Ed supposedly felt about Winry.

I tried to sit up to go look for him, but I was too tired to even move.

It wasn't long until sleep claimed me.

I awoke to the sound of the door creaking open, and footsteps attempting to be quiet. The door shut. I wanted to open my eyes and check and see if it was Ed, but I was still too tired to even do that. I curled closer, trying to fight the night chill of the room, attempting to make myself comfortable. I felt warmth and the softness of a blanket, and then the feeling of metal brushing against my cheek lightly, brushing my locks out of my face. My eyes finally opened and I could see Ed looking down at me, looking sad.

"I'm sorry that you're hurting, Eva."

That was the only thing he said before he turned and walked out of sight. My eyes fell shut again and I dozed off.

Something wasn't right though. The backs of my thighs felt cold, and I felt like I was moving. I barely opened my eyes again, and this time I was surprised to find myself in Ed's arms. He was carrying me awkwardly up the stairs, trying hard not to knock anything over, trip, or drop me. I parted my lips to speak, but something made me hold my tongue.

Instead, I simply closed my eyes, snuggled closer against his chest, and allowed the warm and intoxicating scent wash over me.

It was nice to know he cared, even if it was just as a friend.

I just didn't want to hurt anymore, though.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Much love to those who read and reviewed last chapter.

* * *

><p>"YOU BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"<p>

Now where had I heard that before?

Sighing, I sat up quickly in bed, hearing the thumps and thuds from above – more specifically, Winry's room. I barely glanced at the time before I hopped out of bed, quickly exchanging my night shorts for my white pants, and I tugged my hooded grey shirt overhead. I barely managed to pull my hair out before I heard a violent thud, one that sent my bed rattling. Panicked, I rushed out of the bedroom and upstairs, bursting into Winry's room.

Ed was lying against the wall with blood running down the side of his face, and his left hand was blistered and a flaming red from the long burn that went across the top of his hand. Mustang was sitting on Winry's bed, with Winry still in her nightgown and sitting up on her knees behind the older man. She was speechless, watching the two of them with wide eyes.

I managed to break out of my shock, kneeling beside the blond. "Edward, are you alright?"

"Damn bastard… that was a cheap shot!"

"I controlled myself. You don't have any right barging in here and trying to pick a fight, Fullmetal."

"You dirty old man," Ed hissed, "Just what the hell are you doing in Winry's bed?! And Winry, you're not even decent! I can see your –"

I clamped a hand over his mouth before he got a concussion from the wrench in the mechanic's grasp.

"Thank you, Eva." Winry twitched. "For your information, Edward, Roy was sweet enough to wake me up with breakfast-in-bed and even gave me a rose." She snapped, pointing at the silver tray barely in view on her bedside table. "We were actually having a nice conversation until you barged in here – without knocking!"

Ed crossed his arms and looked away. I watched him and felt a twinge of guilt eating at me inside. Had I acted so childishly too, just because Al left without saying goodbye? As I stood there, watching Ed steaming in envy and hurt, I found it hard to sit still.

In Edward, I was seeing apart of myself I did not like.

"Ed, you're bleeding…" I muttered turning and grabbing the washcloth on the edge of the basin of water on Winry's dresser. I wrung out the excess water and then knelt down beside him, dabbing at the blood as he flinched from the cold water. "Stop squirming, I gotta look at it."

He squirmed even worse the moment our faces came within a few centimeters of one another. Ed cracked his head against the wall, cursing and managing to scramble to his feet. The next thing I knew, he was leaping over me and running out of the bedroom. We heard his heavy footsteps running down the steps, before the sound of the front door slamming echoed through the house.

I sent a glance toward the Colonel and Winry, who was rubbing her arm. I knew she was worried about Ed, but for once I had to side with them. Ed had been out of line in a lot of ways – and he seemed to be getting worse the further Mustang and Winry's relationship started to blossom.

_I have to say something… he…he's hurting and… and I can't stand seeing him suffer… not like this… Edward is strong but… when it comes to feelings… he's just like me._

"Winry… R-Roy…" It was the first time I had ever called him by his first name. "Can we…talk…?"

"Of course we can," Winry replied.

I watched as Roy pulled the sheet up and placed it around her shoulders, shielding her. They motioned for me to sit down, but I remained standing. I felt my back press against the wall, and my fingers clutched at the soft pristine material. My other hand slipped into my pocket, where I traced the lion repeatedly with the tip of my finger.

"Are you two…dating?"

Roy didn't answer, obsidian eyes shifting over to glance at the blond beside him.

"We're…getting there…"

"And have you told Ed?"

"Not exactly."

"Winry… you do realize that he…he…"

Something was wrong with me. For some reason, I couldn't get the words out. My throat locked up and my tongue turned to sandpaper.

Roy sighed and took Winry's hand gently, brushing his thumb against her apricot skin tenderly. "Eva's right… you're going to have to tell him."

"I know I do… I just hate the thought of hurting him."

"Fullmetal's probably more upset over the scenarios in his head. He takes things better when they're told straight to him." Roy pointed out, smiling at her gently. "It'll be better then."

"Right… I…I'll talk to him later. Once he's cooled off."

I turned to leave, "Eva, wait." I hesitated, hand on the doorframe and I glanced over my shoulder. Roy was staring at me seriously. "You should go find him. He needs comfort. I think it's more than Winry that has him upset."

"What do you mean?" I asked, blinking.

He smirked, "It's better if you just figure it out on your own."

I left the room and headed back to my room, where I brushed my hair and then pulled on my hood after pulling on my fingerless gloves. I laced up my hiking boots, double-checking that they were good and laced before I headed downstairs. I then hurried outside and looked up at the dark swirling clouds overhead.

It was going to storm. Lightning flashed in the distance, and the distant sound of thunder rumbled. I stood on the edge of the porch and looked around, trying to spot Ed. He was a fast sprinter so he probably wasn't anywhere in sight. I had noticed that when I watched Al and Ed spar one morning from my window.

"Ed!" I called over the thunder.

Nothing – just the howling wind and the sound of the rain beginning to fall.

I swallowed hard before I sprung off the porch, breaking off into a run. I had a hunch about where Ed had gone. He and I were similar, I finally realized.

When we were upset, we craved solitude. We didn't want anyone to see us when we were down. We didn't reject the comfort our loved ones tried to give us; but we still avoided it.

"Edward!"

I was panting now, getting soaked as the rain seemed to fight against me. I managed to get to the top of the hill, the wind starting to become intense. My hood flew off, my hair flying around my face in a mess. I shielded my eyes and tried to look around. There was a glimpse of black nestled at the base of one of the many trees by the lake.

_Please be Ed…_

I hopped down the hill and reached the edge of the trees, ducking underneath their canopy, which lessened the piercing rain. I walked toward the lake, breathing heavily. I approached the spot where I had seen the glimpse of black, trailing my hand against the bark. I stepped over the large root, peering around the side.

Ed was leaning against the base of the tree, his right leg stretched out in front of him, his other knee drawn up with his arm resting on it. The other was hovering above the simple white wildflowers that grew amongst the roots. His eyes were closed.

I didn't say a word, simply sat myself down on the root beside him, knees drawn to my chest and my fingers interlocking near my boots. I tilted my head to the side and simply watched him, my rain-darkened bangs falling into my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to speak.

"I should've never been so sure that she'd wait for me."

He sighed heavily, golden eyes opening partway, looking out distantly toward the lake, the water's surface rippling rapidly from the rain drops. I wasn't sure what to say – I had only comforted my father in his time of heartbreak when my mother packed and left.

_It had been raining that day too…_

Hesitantly, I brought one of my hands up, reaching out to brush some of his bangs out of his face. His eyes closed as I allowed my fingertips to linger, just to brush against his cheek. His cheek was soft and warm, not scratchy and stubbly like my father's cheek usually had been. I bit down on my lip as Ed's barely parted lips formed another whisper.

"I don't want to hurt anyone else. I hurt Winry so much. I made her cry and I selfishly made her wait for me. I should've acted and I never did. Guess that's what I get for letting my fear control me… I am a fool."

"It's not your fault…"

He opened his eyes and looked at me. I felt my breath leave me at the storm of emotion in those golden orbs. I swallowed, feeling my own heart aching. I knew his pain. I wasn't enduring my own pain in this one moment, however.

I was hurting for Edward.

"Give unto me your pain…"

My body reacted before my thought process could comprehend my instinctive actions. Instead of warmth enveloping around me, I was giving my warmth to another. I wrapped my arms around Ed, placing a hand on the back of his head, just holding him to me. His body was rigid but he didn't push me away.

It was tearing me to pieces, knowing he was in so much pain. I had never seen Ed so broken before. Not in the almost two weeks I had known him.

"Edward, I want you to promise me… promise me that if I ever hurt you, you'll tell me so I can make things right…"

"E-Evangeline –"

I shook my head and closed my eyes, "I mean it. Please don't let me hurt you."

He gave a hollow laugh, "You're unaware I'm tearing you asunder…"

His words made my heart skip a beat, not fully understanding what he meant.

"I swear, if anyone hurts you, Eva, I'll make them pay."

The world was quiet here – the world no longer made sense.

In fact, I doubted it ever made sense. This moment, this bond that was beginning to entwine us together, was much more different than the bonds I've ever felt with Winry and Alphonse.

Ed crushed me to him and I felt a different rain sinking through my shirt. The only thing I could do was hold him in silence, staring blankly up at the stormy sky. My heart felt heavy – even more so than it used to.

_So this is what it's like to hurt for someone else…_

"All I want from you is your hurting… I want to heal you… I want to save you from the dark…" I murmured, "I'll endure your suffering… place unto me your burden, Edward, please… I don't care if it hurts me, I just…I just…"

"Don't…"

His voice stopped the tears before they could break through. I felt his icy touch on my cheek before Ed pulled back. His face was etched in seriousness.

"I won't let you do that, Evangeline. I don't want to see anyone else hurt because of me."

"But Ed…you…"

I wordlessly touched his shoulder, skin against metal.

"You said I'm your best friend… right?"

I nodded, lowering my eyes to my lap. Ed sat back, crossing his leg underneath the one drawn close to his chest. He rested his arm on his knee and he placed his other hand on my hand.

"You know that… my right arm and left leg are machines – automail designed by Winry." Ed took a deep breath, "When Al and I were younger, our father left. We were raised by our mother, Trisha. We loved her, more than anything. And then… an illness took her away from us. We were foolish children who wanted our mother back. In our desperation, we found a teacher who could teach us alchemy. After our training, Al and I… we…"

So much pain was twisted on his face.

"We…tr-tried to bring Mom back…using a-alchemy…"

"Edw –"

He placed a finger to my lips, "Let me finish. It wasn't… her. We found that out after… I lost my leg… and Al he… he… lost his body. His entire body. I gave up my arm… bonded his soul to a suit of armor using a blood-seal. The Rockbells gave me automail. I went to Central, became a State Alchemist… I promised Al I would find a way to get his body back. We searched for a way to do so… in the end, I was able to keep my promise."

"W-What about you…?"

"My body for his. I gave up my chance of restoring my body to bring his back through the gateway."

"Isn't there… another way?"

Ed smiled, "That's what I've been searching for… that's why Al's been studying alkahestry in the East… I've traveled to the West, searching for a way. I work as a dog for the military, following orders…"

He scoffed and his hand grasped at the wildflowers, but I noticed he didn't crush them like he so easily could.

"I can't believe that bastard he –"

"You can't stop someone else from falling for the same person. If you fell for Winry, then she has qualities that are bound to have someone else fall for her. Roy is a good man, Ed and he can protect her just as well as you could."

I wasn't sure why I was defending them, especially since they were the cause of Ed's pain. Perhaps it was the rational part of my heart.

My eyes lowered to his hand, to the burn that needed to be treated. Ed was ignoring it, but I saw the way his hand trembled and how his knuckles tightened. I leaned back and tugged up the hem of my shirt, pulling up the end of my tank and biting it. Before Ed could ask what I was doing, I ripped off a thick strip, and then stood up, kneeling on the shore and soaking the cloth. I then hurried back to our shelter and took his hand, carefully wrapping it around his hand and tying it. He winced with every tug, and I winced too.

"Why did you –" the blond cut himself off the moment he looked me in the eyes. "…thanks."

"You're welcome."

I turned so that I was sitting beside him, back pressed against the trunk of the tree, and I watched the rain. Ed turned as well and he didn't say a word. I felt awful that I couldn't do more. It wasn't really my place.

I shouldn't get involved between matters of the heart. Especially when it was none of my business. Especially when I hadn't any grounds to stand on myself.

I had never known love; other than the love of my father – love I painfully had to analyze.

I just couldn't stand the thought of either Ed or Al in pain.

"Hey…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm thinking about… leaving for awhile. Searching for new ways to restore my body. Do some research on separate gateways… and since you're still under military protection… do you want to come with me?"

"Just… me and you?"

He gave a silent nod.

"…Alright..."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Finally entering another arc in the storyline =3

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><p>"This is hopeless…"<p>

I hung my head before I plopped down on the edge of the bed, sighing heavily. I had been trying to figure out what to pack for Ed's and my traveling. I couldn't remember the last time I traveled somewhere – I don't think crossing through a gate into a foreign world counted – and I wasn't sure what I needed to bring with me. Ed and I had drawn out about fifteen hundred cens from my account and Ed had drawn out the same amount from his. Together that was three thousand cens.

There was a knock on my door and I looked up to see Winry and Roy in the doorway. He was dressed in his uniform as well, finally leaving to head back down to Ishval. I had accidentally witnessed them kissing goodbye earlier, so it wasn't any surprise my face decided to flame and I couldn't bring myself to look at them.

"Need any help?"

"Kinda," I admitted, embarrassed. "I'm not really sure what to take with me."

"Allow me,"

Roy extended his hand and I handed over my messenger bag. He unzipped it and checked the sturdiness of the straps before looking at the contents. I sweatdropped at the way he chuckled before he walked over to the small dresser I had been using. He opened it and pulled out my remaining clothes, putting them in the bag and checking the weight. He then used alchemy and created a hidden pocket. I dug out the money and he hid it, smiling at me as he handed me the bag.

"You're going to be gone a bit. Don't worry about the weight. It's light for the most part."

"Thanks…" I mumbled, taking the bag and slinging it over my shoulder. "_Tch_!" I flinched as he patted me on the head, purposefully ruffling my hair. He knew Ed was the only person I allowed to touch me like that. I glared up at him and he laughed before turning to Winry, who was smiling at me with crossed arms. "I'll be okay, Winry."

"I know you will. You're gonna take a step up into Al's normal position and keep Ed out of trouble, right?"

"Uh, I'll try?" I sweatdropped, "I'm not as patient as Alphonse is."

Winry laughed softly, the sound warming and melodic.

I loved Winry's voice. It was a warm and pretty voice. It held a comforting tone within it.

I double-checked to make sure I had everything, before I glanced at the time. Ed and I needed to leave for the train station shortly. He was already packed and was waiting on the front porch.

Winry and Edward had their talk.

It went over a lot better than Roy and I expected. We had huddled inside the living room, acting like grade-schoolers as we eavesdropped through the living room window. Ed in the end made Winry swear that if Roy ever broke her heart, he was allowed to break him into a thousand pieces. Roy had scoffed at that but I elbowed him before he could open his mouth and retort.

This was the only way Ed could ever eventually move on. He needed his closure. I may be naïve, but I wasn't blind. Ed had sincerely loved Winry. Actually been _in love _with her. His heart was broken and it would take a long time for it to heal. I wasn't sure if Ed was the type to ever love again. He seemed like a "one girl for him" kind of man.

_All I want is for you to find happiness…_

I was growing to care deeply for the Elrics. For Winry, Pinako, and even for the Colonel. I wanted to get to know my grandparents. I wanted to get to know my father all over again.

I wanted a family.

I wanted them to be my family.

The hardest part was I couldn't tell them how much they truly meant to me.

"Are you ready to go yet?" Ed called from downstairs. "We don't have all day!"

Roy sweatdropped, "Be careful with him. Fullmetal's going to be in a foul mood for the next few hours. Or days…possibly weeks…"

"I can handle it." I replied, smiling. "C'mon, I mean look at this cute face!" I made a cute expression, trying to imitate a cat. "How can he take it out on me?"

Winry giggled and hugged me, smoothing down my hair and then picking up the extra hairbrush. She then brushed my hair and tied it into a high ponytail, leaving tendrils in front of my ears. I blushed as she pressed our cheeks together as we looked at the mirror.

"We could be sisters!" Winry teased.

My smile brightened, "Yeah."

"Eva!"

"I'm coming!" I called back. "Roy, you're heading to Ishval…right?"

"Yes."

"Will you please give these to Lt. Hawkeye and Sergeant Fuery?"

He took the letters I had written and nodded, slipping them into his pocket. I took a deep breath and met Winry's steady gaze. She was biting her lower lip, looking at me with guilt. She hated hurting Ed as much as I hated seeing him hurt.

I hugged her once again, "I promise, I'll look after him."

"Thank you… come home safe."

Home…

It was nice.

"I better get going. You two be safe."

"Be careful!"

That was the first time I ever left a place that made me feel as if a piece of myself behind.

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><p>"Hey… Evangeline… do you know any self-defense?"<p>

"Eh?"

I looked up from pulling the wrapper off my sandwich, staring at the blond sitting across from me. He was wearing his red jacket with his head resting in his hand as he stared out the train window at the dark terrain passing us by.

"Self-defense. Please tell me you know how to at least throw a punch."

Gold irises flickered as his lips twitched into a smirk.

"Uh, I know some. Like how to get away from a creep when walking home from work at night."

Ed stared at me for a full minute.

"What?"

"Your godfather seriously let a girl walk home alone at night?"

"So what? I can take care of myself!"

Ed groaned, "Damn, what's wrong with your world? You're a girl, plus you're young and pretty. You're a walking sign that says 'I'm helpless, please violate me'!"

"W-Whatever! I am not helpless, Elric!"

"Oh yes you are, Godric! Which is why when we get off this train, I'm teaching you how to fight!"

"How you gonna do that? Doesn't that require you raising your hand against a girl?"

Ed clenched his jaw, "_Tch_, I learned in Briggs it doesn't matter what gender you are. A fighter is a fighter and I'm not going to travel any further outside of the East if you don't learn how to protect yourself."

I crossed my arms and looked away from him. I hated to be treated like this. I didn't like being labeled as 'helpless', especially by someone who was a dear friend.

"Eva…"

"Don't talk to me." I turned away from him and closed my eyes.

I felt cloth being tossed over me. I jerked forward and grabbed at it, blinking at the familiar red coat. Ed had gotten up and left the compartment. I huffed and balled up the coat, throwing it into the corner.

I didn't want to be treated like this.

No, I didn't _like_ being treated like this one bit.

"Sexist jerk…"

After about ten minutes, I was starting to get worried. Ed hadn't come back yet. His words kept bothering me, to the point I didn't want to be alone in this compartment.

Even in this day and age, here in Amestris, there were still bad people.

Serial killers, rapists, thieves, criminals.

People who were sadistic and liked to prey on easy targets.

Right now, I was an easy target. I was tired and emotionally drained. I was also alone. On a train. Filled with strangers.

_Crap._

Squeaking, I staggered to my feet and snatched the coat, putting it on without even really thinking twice about it. I pulled on the hood and ducked out of the compartment. I kept my head lowered and my arms crossed, trying to keep the coat closed. I didn't want to be noticed. I was shorter than most of the passengers – it was easier to squeeze through.

"Are you lost?"

I turned to see one of the train's workers. He grabbed my shoulder to stop me from opening the door to the end of the train. I glanced up at him.

"I'm looking for my companion." I said in a low tone. "He's got blond hair in a braid, wearing black. Did he come this way?"

The worker glanced through the window, "Yeah, he's back there. Wanted to get some air. I'll let you through. Just don't stay out too long."

I slid open the door, watching the wind tease Ed's braid as he leaned against the railing, watching the scenery flying by. There was just something about the way he looked out into the distance that made my heart quiver in my chest.

I felt stupid and useless and I knew he was right. I really was going to be a burden if I didn't learn how to defend myself.

It was more than that. I wanted to be able to protect Ed as well. I wanted to stand by his side, not trail after him. He asked me to come with him – not just because he told the military he'd look after me and I was technically in his custody. Ed wanted me by his side for a reason.

"Gwah! E-Eva!"

I buried my face into his back, arms locked tightly around him.

"I'm sorry! I don't want to be your burden! I want to be able to protect you too!"

Ed sighed, "Evangeline, I didn't want you to think you're a burden."

I pulled back and he turned around, pulling down the hood so he could look me in the eyes. It was hard to look away from his eyes. They were warm, despite the underlying cold fire they held.

"We're a team, alright? Stop worrying."

I nodded and took his hand, lowering my eyes to my boots. "I don't want to be left alone…"

"Alright, let's head back inside."

He patted me on the back and we headed back to our compartment. I shrugged off his coat and handed it to him. He took it wordlessly and put it back on. I caught him lifting the collar to his nose.

"What?" I demanded.

"It…smells like you."

My cheeks warmed and I looked away, "S-Sorry."

He didn't comment and I sat back down, grabbing my neglected sandwich and ate it quietly. I wasn't exactly sure where we were heading. I think maybe Central.

Heck if I knew. Ed just said, "Here's our tickets, we're leaving in two hours," after he asked me to go with him. No details, just flat out "we're getting the hell out of here before I kill that dog-bastard," pretty much.

"I miss Al."

I don't know where it came from. I saw Ed blink and stare at me for a moment before he looked back out the window.

"You know you got some competition, if you plan on trying to win his heart."

I twitched at the mention of Mei.

"I'm not stupid, I know that."

"So… are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Going to try and win Al over."

"What's the point? Who knows when I may end up wrenched back to my world?"

Ed looked away, "It doesn't work that way. There was equivalency. You lost something coming through the gate. Or… someone else did. There was a price and it was paid. That's the only way you could've ended up here. There isn't any reversing that. You have to pay another price to go back."

"…I don't want to go back…"

I felt his eyes back on me. I gripped my knees and kept my slate orbs fixated on my boots. My heart was steadily starting to pick up speed again.

_B-bmp…b-bmp…_

"So if you don't plan on going back, why are you stepping down without a fight? You have as much of a chance with Al as Mei does."

"He's known Mei longer…"

"That doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter when it comes to feelings. There are different levels. Attraction, infatuation, then getting emotionally attached. People can grow to care for another person steadily or quickly. Either way, love is love."

"L-Love?"

Ed sweatdropped as I squeaked and hid my face in my hands, feeling it burn horribly.

"I'm not saying you're in love with Alphonse. Geez, calm the hell down. What I'm saying is that your feelings matter as much as Mei's. You should try, at least. Don't sit around and wonder 'what if' for the rest of your life."

I was quiet, swallowing hard as I lowered my hands.

"Just don't give up, Evangeline. That's the only advice I can give you."

"But…what if he chooses Mei…?"

Ed wordlessly moved to sit next to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to his.

"Then I promise I'll protect you – and that includes your heart. I can't stop the heartbreak that will follow, but the least I can do is try and pick up the pieces… like you did for me."

My lips twitched into a small smile, "Equivalency?"

"Equivalency."

Closing my eyes, I rested my head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Edward."

I heard his breath hitch before he slipped his arm around me, "No… thank you."

Sleep was easier to come by the moment Ed was near.

He was my one and only best friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Alrighty, so I had a reviewer point out that Evangeline seems to be leaning in the direction of a Mary-Sue. Well, I – unlike a lot of OC authors – always ensure that my characters are HUMAN. I've inquired to other readers and no one else has formed this opinion on her, so I'm disregarding it. Much appreciation to those who've read the past chapter and reviewed it.

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><p>I was smiling.<p>

There just seemed to be a happy feeling that wouldn't go away, even when it rained. I had never been able to travel before and to be able to explore this strange new world, this country, was exciting. I was also able to find some more leads about my father and his research. He had an old friend in Liore that I got to meet - Sherah. She was a nice woman and she was very kind to me. She had told me so many stories about my father - they made me laugh and smile. Despite everything, he was still a loving man, no matter what world we lived in.

Now, Ed and I were in Central City, the capital of Amestris. The last time I had been here, I had been under military arrest so I hadn't really been able to really take in the city. Ed and I had only been here for a few hours and the first place I wanted to go was the library, to see if I could find any notes.

After about an hour, Ed decided he wanted to go visit the Hughes family. He asked if I wanted to tag along, but I didn't feel like it was proper. I was a complete stranger to them whereas Ed was like family. So I told him to go on ahead, that I wanted to finish a couple of letters to Fuery and Hawkeye.

It had only been about twenty minutes since then. I sat in the far corner, trying to ignore the inconsiderate infantryman. This was a library after all, but of course, they were too arrogant to care. Sighing, I tried to focus on my letters. This was the first real chance I had gotten to reply to them. I wanted them to know that I was fine and that Ed was keeping me safe. It was so different the way to let someone know where you were going. Snail mail never really had been a problem for me. Maybe I am old fashioned after all.

The soldiers were laughing really loud now, breaking my concentration. I was having a hard time explaining some of my findings and finding the right words to put them in. I felt a tic form in my jaw as I clenched it. I was about to say something when a librarian with mouse brown hair, glasses, and dark green eyes stood up.

"I'm s-sorry but I'm g-going to have to a-ask you to l-leave or b-be quiet!" she fixed her glasses, "This i-is a l-library, a-after all!"

The soldiers just simply gave a look, with one of them commenting. It sounded very rude, making the librarian turn red in the face from embarrassment.

_Alright, that's it. I'm about to give them a piece of my mind!_

Snapping my book shut, I went to stand up and approach them.

I wasn't sure why I was getting so angry at the soldiers. Maybe it was because they were being rude, maybe it was because the poor girl looked ready to cry and frightened. I couldn't stand people like that.

I recalled the only friend I had as a child. Her name had been Serah Cinereski. She was a sweet girl, Russian born, foreign and smart. Shy and a bookworm, and slightly awkward. We were close since the day we met, until she moved away and we lost touch. This girl reminded me of Serah, even in looks.

"Hey! Excuse me, but this is a library after all!"

The soldiers all stopped laughing, staring at me now.

"Hey, isn't that Elric's ward?" one grunted.

I cringed, recalling how Ed had precisely told me to keep low until he got back, otherwise I may end up in serious trouble.

"Pardon me, but the young lady is with me."

The librarian and I staggered back as a boy I had never seen before stepped in front of us. He was tall, only a couple of inches away from six-foot, and he had russet hair that fell to his collar in layers, with some of his bangs falling into his eyes, which were a dark chocolate brown. They were also sharp and intimidating. He wore some of his locks tied into a small tail at the nape of his neck, and he also wore a dark brown vest over a white button down, the top buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with khaki pants and boots. And one of those arms was made of automail, with a familiar red insignia on the plating.

"Eh, you sure? I thought this kid was being watched under Elric."

"That's quite impossible, considering the fact she's my younger sister."

I felt my brain go numb.

_Did he just say... I was... his sister?_

He glanced over his shoulder and gave me a quick wink and mouthed his first name, but I couldn't help but go rigid. I felt the librarian's eyes on us and I knew I had to say something quickly; otherwise I would be under military arrest quicker than I could bat my eyelashes.

"Really now, then what's his name, girly?"

"It's Allen." I replied, making my tone sharp to hide the lie easier. "And we were just about to leave, since you decided to be rude. This is a library and you shouldn't harass the personal here." I glanced at her name block. "Miss Sciezka doesn't deserve that kind of treatment, and my Brother might just have to report it."

I assumed he was part of the military. You had to be to access the records here. I looked for a pocket watch. He didn't have one, but there were two guns in the holsters under his vest. He was a soldier.

"Eh, sorry about that." One soldier spoke up, trying to nudge his buddies out of the library. A couple of the men were grumbling as they left the building.

Sciezka was blushing as she bowed, "Thank you... very much Lieutenant Mustang, and you Miss..."

"Godric. Evangeline Godric." I took her hand. "I'm sorry about them." I then gawked at the boy, "Did she say Mustang? As in Colonel Mustang?"

"He's my guardian," Allen shrugged, dismissing it. "You should be a lot more careful, Evangeline. Where's Fullmetal anyway?"

"He said he was going to visit the Hughes family."

Allen gave an irritable sigh, "Figures, he never really takes his military orders seriously. He had strict orders not to let you leave his sight, especially in the Capital and the other branches of the military. Dumbass." He put his hands in his pockets, "Well, c'mon, grab your things and let's go find the irresponsible shrimp."

I huffed, "I told him to go on without me. I was trying to finish up a couple of letters."

"You can finish them at the hotel, which is near the Hughes' residence. I'm acting under orders of the Colonel. Now move it, Missy."

Sighing, I grabbed my letters and put them back in my messenger bag, along with all of my research notes. I thanked Miss Sciezka once again before following the young man outside. Allen really wouldn't look at me, but I noticed he refused to ease up as he walked beside me. He was tense and on his guard.

"So you're a soldier, huh? Joined up to follow your guardian's example?"

"No. It was a promise to my real father." Allen replied, though there was a hint of regret in his tone.

"Oh." I looked down at the ground.

He sighed and glanced down at me with those dark eyes, "You really do need to be a lot more careful, Evangeline, though I do applaud you standing up for Miss Sciezka." I couldn't help but noticed the tinge of pink that flooded his tawny cheeks.

"It's nothing...they were interrupting my writing and they were rude to her and...Yeah."

"That was a very kind thing you did." Allen stopped, nodding across the street. "There's the hotel. Would you like to go wait there while I go retrieve the Fullmetal Pipsqueak?"

"No, I would much rather go with you." I felt a small vein throb in my temple, "And don't call Edward that! He's not short anymore! He's my height and I'm average height!"

Giving me a dull stare, Allen rolled his eyes. "Sure you are, Missy. Well, alright, let's go pay a visit to Mrs. Hughes and Elysia."

I tagged along after my 'brother'. My thoughts were still whirling from before.

_Just... he has to be... right?_

A part of me refused to believe it. Yet, another half really did want to.

"Hey...Allen... may I ask why you made me play the role of your younger sister?"

My heart was pounding again, that same yet now familiar sense of dread and anticipation weaving throughout my entire body. I felt cold, though it wasn't chilly outside. In fact, today had to be one of the nicest autumn days I had ever seen here.

"It's in my records. I have a younger sister, but I've never seen her myself. She's my half-sister."

"H-half-sister?"

"I don't remember my father around much. He actually showed up more after my mother passed away when I was nine. Then I was made a ward of the state and Madam Mustang took me in. Later on, her own ward, Roy Mustang took pity on the teenage boy with an absent father who died in a crossfire and adopted me. Though I'm more alone now."

I frowned at that.

"Maybe..." I wasn't sure where I was going with this, "At least consider me a friend first? I'm not entirely sure if your sister is still out there or I'm her or... I... kind of... know how it feels to be very alone."

He laughed softly, "I simply used the situation to a benefit, and I wasn't implying anything." Allen patted my back, "Alright, let's return you to your alchemist."

Nodding, I chewed on my lip as I followed him across the street and into the apartment complex. I kept stealing glances at him, trying to see if we shared any traits. The only thing we had in common was our brown hair. That was it.

"How old are you?"

"I just turned twenty-three, and you?"

"Seventeen."

"You look older for your age. Which can be a good thing I suppose," He laughed, "We should be there soon."

I looked down at his automail, at the red insignia upon slate plating, my eyebrows meeting. I had seen that insignia before.

_Where...?_

Of course. Ed's coat. He told me the stories of his journey. Of Alphonse's soul trapped within a suit of armor that bore the same insignia. Armor that had been made into automail...

"What kind of automail is this? Did you get it in Rush Valley?"

"Nope. Traveled all the way to Resembool. It's one of a kind, made from steel armor enhanced by alchemy. Ever heard of the Rockbells? Winry Rockbell made it for me. That's actually how she got better acquainted with Roy."

"Wow..."

We reached one of the higher floors, Allen stopping outside of a door. He kept his hand in his pocket while he rapped his metal knuckles against the wood. After a few moments, the door opened by a young girl with large green eyes and hair worn in blond pigtails.

"Mommy, Mommy, more people have come to see us!"

"Elysia, who is it?" Mrs. Hughes approached the door, "Allen? Why hello dear, how nice of you to drop by!"

He gave a little bow with his hand, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Hughes. I'm sorry to drop by unannounced. Is Fullmetal here? I happened to of... stumbled upon something that belongs to him." Allen smirked, "Very precious cargo that was nearly placed under military arrest again."

"Of course Edward is here. Actually-"

"MILITARY ARREST?!" a very familiar angry voice was heard.

I sweatdropped, "Hello, Ed."

"What the hell, Eva?! I told you to keep quiet! What did you do?!"

"It wasn't her carelessness, Shrimp, it was yours." Allen snapped.

"WHO YOU ARE CALLING A BABY SHRIMP?! THIS SHRIMP WILL USE HIS CLAWS TO BREAK OFF YOUR ARMS AND USE THEM AS CLUBS!"

Clearly unaffected by the threat or the rant, Allen just sighed and jabbed a thumb towards the blond. "You really want to stay under his protection? I can get an order to have you transferred under mine. I specialize in firearms as well, and I'm good with dual-wielding."

"Thanks but no thanks," I hugged Ed, who blinked and then stuck his tongue out at Allen, "He's the only military man I feel safe with."

"You sure the shr-"

"Allen."

"Just teasing, Edward. You know I like to mess with you on purpose," Allen winked at him, laughing.

Ed made a face, "Sometimes, I worry you've been around the Colonel bastard too long, Allen. You seemed cool at first. Now you're just another pain in my ass."

I sweatdropped, watching the two banter like old friends, even like playful rivals. Shaking my head, I bowed to Mrs. Hughes and Elysia.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion. Ed, we need to go back to the hotel. I'm hungry too."

"Sure, I'll make sure you get something to eat."

"Implying I can't take care of guests now? Unwise, Elric, very unwise." Allen _tsked_ at him, before he bowed himself to Mrs. Hughes. "My father sends his regards, Ms. Gracia, and he wishes to visit soon with his special lady friend."

Ed cringed and instantly was muttering under his breath, storming out of the apartment. I said my goodbyes and hurried after him. Much to his dismay, Allen made it to the elevator just in time. Ed leaned against the wall, glaring at the other automail-armed male, with me caught in the middle.

"So..." I looked back and forth between them, "What's for dinner?"

"We'll get room service."

"Again, Ed? This is my first time getting to actually explore Central and see the sights. Why can't we go out to eat?" I sighed. The one time I had eaten out was at the café with Ed, Al, Winry, and Mei the day I had been released.

Ed opened his mouth to say something when Allen stepped in, "Yes, Edward, why don't you take the girl out?"

"This doesn't concern you, Mustang, so keep your nose out of it. This is between me and the young lady." He placed his hand to his chest.

"Ah, yes, but it seems to me you're still rather naïve when it comes to beautiful young women." Allen smirked, brown eyes meeting my grey. "Evangeline, would you mind if I took you out to dine this evening?"

"Whoa, you're not coming on to me, are you?!" I panicked slightly, face red hot.

"YOU BETTER NOT BE! OTHERWISE I WILL HAVE YOUR ASS AND YOUR FOSTER DAD'S TOO!"

"Calm down, Munchkin," he smirked, giving an evil glint towards Edward.

I waited. Seconds ticked by. I side-stepped away from Ed.

Sure enough, like a ticking bomb, he went off, screaming incoherently and trying to lunge for Allen. The elevator doors opened and I strolled out into the lobby, leaving Ed on Allen's shoulders, trying to claw his eyes out with the taller boy laughing and fending him off with ease. I crossed my arms and waited for about five minutes, having a lovely chat with the doorman about the weather, waiting for Ed to cool down.

Or at least, y'know, act his age.

It took a while for Ed to notice that I was ignoring him. He immediately hopped off Allen's shoulders, staring at me. He gave a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his head, right above his braid.

"Are you done?" I mumbled, tapping my foot.

"I...he..." Ed cringed and looked down.

Allen shook his head, "The offer's still there, Evangeline. Dinner? It's on me."

"I'll accept your offer, Allen."

I was tired of being treated like one of the boys anyway. It was getting old. Allen gave a smile before giving a look of triumph to Ed. His face was a mixture of insult, hurt, and something else. Allen offered his arm to me, to which I took it.

"Wh-Where are you taking her?" Ed called, stopping us as we stepped out onto the street.

"Right down the road,"

I bit my lip, "I want Ed to come too..."

"No. I wouldn't want to intrude." Ed replied. "Just have her back soon, alright? We're leaving early tomorrow, for Dublith."

"Edward -"

He was already disappearing into the crowd.

"Huh, I was about to say 'come with us'. Guess not." Allen shrugged.

I remained rooted in place, staring after where my best friend had disappeared from sight. My heart was heavy with guilt and regret. I wished I hadn't acted so irrationally. I hardly knew Allen - and despite his kindness and the fact he was Roy's foster son - I was uneasy.

I wished Edward or Alphonse were with me.

"Let's go..." I muttered.

They had made their own choices.

One had left without even saying goodbye and was all the way in another country, helping with their affairs and wrapped up in his life and duties.

And the other...

"Don't worry, Evangeline, you're safe with me." Allen said.

I could believe that.

It was just the fact Ed was the only person I trusted with my life.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

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><p>The restaurant we went to was nice, far nicer of a place than someone like me was used to. Back home, whenever Dad or Uncle Jesse wanted us to go out to eat, that meant we went to the cheesy little Chinese place. I loved those times with them, because the environment had always been comfortable. This place was...so much different from <em>The Tiger Lily<em>. This place was for those beautiful creatures who dined in elegance and never noticed those in the underworld.

I swallowed hard, looking around at all the women dressed nicely and casually, but looking much better than I did. I looked almost like that of a ruffian, wearing my cargo pants and a simple tank top, clutching my bag. I was pretty sure my hair was a mess too, due to the humidity of the early morning rain. Standing next to Allen, who looked so suave and so handsome, I felt like a bum.

We were taken to a table out on the terrace, near the corner and I was able to see the hotel in the distance, along with the sky starting to fade from warm blue to the red and violet array that signified dusk. I draped my bag across the back of my chair, making sure to scoot the chair in so that my back was pressed securely against it. I watched as Allen pulled out his own seat and sat down.

"And what can I get for you to drink this evening, Lt. Mustang?"

"White wine is fine," Allen glanced at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Shall the lady have some as well?"

"No thank you, I'm underage." I replied at once. "I'll have some water though."

"I'll be right back,"

We were handed menus, which I took with a polite thank you, before the waiter left us. I opened it and started to scan the contents, wincing slightly at the prices. I peeked over the top of the menu, seeing Allen had his closed, with his hand placed over it, his other hand propping his chin up, and of course, he was watching me with a smirk across his lips. I felt my face burn unpleasantly, hating being inspected.

"I'm not an alien. You can stop staring at me, please."

"It's not inspecting you like you're a test subject, Evangeline. I'm admiring your features. You _are_ quite lovely."

Swallowing hard, I lowered my eyes back to the menu, trying to hide my blush. Only the Elrics had ever complimented me – Al more so than Ed – so to hear a compliment such as that embarrassed me beyond belief. I couldn't even bring myself to thank him, trying to find something cheap to eat. I picked a pasta dish and the waiter returned, thankfully saving me from the awkward conversation that was lurking around the corner.

"So, what brings the Fullmetal Shrimp and the Shadow Alchemist's daughter back to Central?" Allen asked, folding his hands and resting his chin on them, dark brown eyes trying to search mine. "After the rather rude arrest you had to endure, I figured you would avoid the capital city for quite some time."

"I wanted to come here, and Ed really wanted to check in on Mrs. Hughes and her daughter." I replied, closing my eyes as I took a sip of my water. "Besides, it's really none of the military's business what Ed and I are doing."

"On the contrary… it is."

I opened my eyes, seeing those eyes had grown sharper and colder.

"You are a ward of the state, under the protection and watch of a state alchemist. Every move you make, every thing you say, is noted and recorded for the military to deem whether or not you're who you say you are and if you are innocent of any terrorist intentions."

I stared at him, feeling my stomach twisting unpleasantly.

I hated this. I felt as if I couldn't have any privacy, no matter where I went. Ed wouldn't really go and report my actions would he? He was my friend…

"Alrighty then, Mr. Know-it-All, then you tell me what Ed and I have been up to."

"Researching all traces of the Shadow Alchemist's research."

"**_. . ._**"

I looked down as our food was brought out. The hunger twisted in my stomach, but I felt sick and guilty as my eyes fleetingly went towards the hotel. I could just picture Ed lying on his bed, bored and alone. Unless he called back home to talk to Winry. As that thought crossed my mind, I noticed that familiar annoyance stirring in my chest.

Jealousy. Envy. That ugly thing that came out under the surface. The side of myself – the side of Ed – that I could not stand.

I picked at my food. The conversation died. I didn't want to be here.

Allen's eyes looked sincerely worried, "Evangeline, what's wrong?"

"Forgive me, but I have to go."

I pulled out enough money to cover my half of the bill, throwing it on the table, before running out of the restaurant. Something was seriously wrong with me. I was a seventeen-year-old girl who had never had attention from men before, and the one time a handsome guy wants to buy me dinner, I ran out on him because I was more concerned about the dork probably starving himself back at the hotel!

It was dark and there was a chill in the air. I wished I had my jacket. Shivering, I crossed my arms under my breasts and hastened my way through the crowd of people.

I could feel my heart thundering against my rib cage - steady and fast, almost as if I was angry. I crossed the street, about to turn and break into a run to head for the hotel, when I felt the feeling of cold metal clasping around my wrist.

I whirled, "E –" My voice caught as my eyes locked on the one holding me in a vice, "Allen!"

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself. It's dangerous."

"I can take care of myself."

Allen sighed heavily, "I never said you couldn't, but it goes against the way I was raised to let a young lady walk home by herself at night in the city. Now come along, I'll take you back to Edward now."

I blushed as he released my wrist, unable to move my feet as I looked down at my boots, standing underneath the lamp post. Allen turned to look at me, hand on his hip.

"Evangeline."

"H-How'd you know I was worried about Ed?"

He sighed and his lips twitched into a half-smile, "It's written as plain as day on your face. You're rather fond of him. Some might say you love him."

Those words made my blood run cold. Anger flared in my chest as I locked my eyes on him.

"Who are you to say such a thing? You don't know me! Yeah, you may know all about me from files or whatever, but come off it! You don't know me at all, and you sure as hell can't go around voicing your thoughts when it comes to my relationship with Ed!"

He took a step back, "Eva, I didn't mean to offe –"

"Stop being formal with me." I spat. "You don't know me."

"I know you better than you think."

"Oh really now? Prove it!"

Allen tensed and he glared at me, "Before I was adopted by Roy, I worked closely with a man by the name of Randurdor Godric as his alchemy apprentice."

"Alright… so you knew my father…"

"I sacrificed a lot for that man – for you."

An eyebrow shot up, "What do you mean?"

I watched as Allen slowly lifted his automail arm towards the full moon in the sky, the moonlight and lamplight reflecting off the silver plating, making it practically glow.

"I allowed Randurdor Godric to use me as a sacrificial lamb in order for his beloved daughter to cross over. Face it, Evangeline, you're the Messenger and your calling has arrived. I gave up my arm as Equivalent Exchange for you to be here. You better damn well be grateful."

Those words pierced me like that of a thousand arrows. I was bleeding inside. So much hurt racked through me. The man in front of me was used by my father because of me. From the sound of things, it was almost like my father cast him away without anymore use of him after her was done being a sacrificial lamb.

"W-Why…w-why would you d-do that…?"

He shrugged, "Hell if I know. Maybe because he was the one my mother entrusted me to as her last dying wish. For some reasons I can't fathom, my mother cared deeply for your father, even though he did anything for his research – save taking another human's life."

"What's your father's name?"

"James."

I looked down, "Allen, I am so…so very sorry…"

"It was my choice…"

I pressed my fist to my chest, feeling my heart hammering. "But that wasn't a sacrifice you needed to make!"

"…Evangeline, may I ask you something in regards to your father?"

I blinked and nodded, "Y-Yes…?"

"What's his middle name?"

I opened my mouth to answer, only to realize I didn't even know.

"I-I'm…not sure."

Allen walked over to be and touched my shoulder, "Let's get you back to the hotel. You're shaking."

Reaching up, I placed my hand over his metal one, squeezing it tightly as I clenched my eyes shut.

_Just how much more pain are you going to give me, Dad?_

* * *

><p>Allen left me at the elevator, leaning against it and giving me the card so I could reach him, before the doors shut between us. I leaned against the wall and focused my gaze on the floor, hands pressed against the wall behind me as I heard the faint dings as the elevator rose to the higher floors.<p>

Mechanically, I made my way onto my floor and to the hotel door. I unlocked it and walked inside, shutting it behind me, keeping my eyes lowered. I heard the bed squeak and Ed's heavy boots hit the floor as he rose to greet me, but I couldn't even bring my eyes to look at him. I simply dropped my bag to the floor, falling across my bed and burying my face into the pillow.

I felt numb. Stunned. Betrayed. Angry.

How could my father do that to his own apprentice? How much more was I going to find out about the man I once idolized and loved more than anything? Was Angelina truly the wrong parent in my shattered family portrait?

There was a touch to the small of my back, causing me to shiver uncontrollably and hug the pillow tighter. I felt the mattress shift as Ed sat down beside me. Much to my surprise, I felt his hand start to stroke my dark brown hair, smoothing it down and brushing it to the side. I felt his thumb brushing against my cheek.

"You're crying…"

I sat up and looked at him, no more tears falling from my eyes.

"My father… is turning out to be an absolute monster, Edward." I managed to say, my voice cracking. "Every time I turn around, I'm finding out more and more about him that makes me wonder if the role he played as a father back in Connecticut was just a lie!"

"Eva…"

I buried my face back into the pillow, feeling the bed shift again. Warmth spread around me as I was turned, and my face was then pressed against something else. A familiar scent – warm, spicy, like that of autumn and damp earth, invaded my senses. My heart was racing for an entirely different reason now. Strong arms were locked around my frame, awkwardly pressing me flush against him.

"I-I…don't know…w-what to say…" Ed mumbled.

I closed my eyes and brought my own arms awkwardly around him, clutching at his back as I felt the warmth fighting the cold and the pain. Allen's words continued to ring through my thoughts, haunting me. I didn't understand what Edward Elric was to me.

That was even more terrifying to discover than the missing pieces my father left behind in a strange world of alchemy and strife.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Alrighty so no more votes :) I have finally decided which Elric brother that Eva shall end up with ^^ For now, let us continue on with the story.

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><p>Slow and steady breathing…<p>

Warmth and that heavenly scent. The feeling of being held in someone's arms. The sensation of loneliness being ebbed away. It was enough to drive my heart wild in my chest, enough to make my entire body tingle as my eyes opened. It was early morning, but I didn't want to pull myself completely out of slumber and bed just yet. The reasons being were I was asleep, in Ed's arms, and for the first time in a long time, I slept without dreams and without nightmares.

I should've been embarrassed, with the way our legs had entangled, and the way he held me against him as if I was a lover and not just his friend, but the rapid warmth didn't flush my face, burning like that of hellfire. No, instead it was rather pleasant warmth that was faintly remembered. I recalled this warmth from that first morning – a morning that seemed so very long ago – being held in the arms of the younger Elric, Alphonse.

Oh, how I missed Al, but in a different way. It was no longer the longing of a girl with a crush. No, I missed my friend, the boy who made me feel as if I belonged and safe, the one who helped those who could not help themselves and at the time I was one of the many who could not.

As I thought of Al, I realized that over the time apart, my feelings for him had faded, the new curiosity and attraction replaced with what should've been before – a fondness in friendship.

Infatuations were easy to get over. Love was not. It was one of the many lessons I was slowly beginning to learn down this new path.

"Ed…" I murmured his name, before lifting my eyes and slowly bringing a hand to brush the hair out of his face. He was still fast asleep, undisturbed by my touch. I watched his eyelids flutter, watching the brief expressions on his face. "Edward?"

He was dreaming, now muttering in his sleep. "Al… no… Eva…tell… no… don't… don't… don't!"

I sat up and shook him, "Edward, wake up! Ed!"

He shot up with a start, golden eyes looking around wildly for a moment as he came back to reality, gripping the sheets tightly in his hands as his chest rose and fell rapidly. He finally turned to look at me, going rigid as his tawny cheeks stained scarlet, before he awkwardly turned away and leaping out of the bed, hurrying to the bathroom. The door closed sharply, with me sighing and wincing slightly. I waited a few moments before sliding out of bed, crossing the room to the door. I knocked.

"You alright?"

"…Fine."

"You were having a nightmare… do you want to talk about it?"

Talking always made me feel better. Uncle Jesse was always there to comfort me whenever I awoke from nightmares shortly after my father's death. I waited for a response, not getting one.

"Alright, I'll go order us something to eat then…"

Turning away from the door, I took one step before I felt a hand clasp around my wrist. I looked down over my shoulder, seeing Ed slumped on the other side of the door.

"D-Don't go… p-please…"

I knelt down on the other side, pushing it open slightly and leaning against the door frame as I turned my wrist, holding his hand tightly. I squeezed it as I tried to see more into the bathroom, but Ed was shielding his face with his long hair, avoiding my eyes.

"Hey… I'm here…"

"I-I d-dreamed a-about that n-night…" Ed cleared his throat, "Only…only it was different…"

My eyes widened, "You mean the night that you tried to…" I couldn't even get the words out. "Ed, what was different…?"

"It wasn't just Mom… you w-were there… h-helping us… and y-you… you…"

I hadn't heard a man cry and sob since the night my mother left my father.

"You were ta-taken into the g-gate t-too…"

"Edward… it was just a dream. I'm right here…" I brought his hand up to my cheek, pressing it against it. "See? This is real…"

He kicked open the door and I gave a cry of alarm as I was suddenly crushed against him. He held me tightly, so tight I felt as if my ribs were being crushed, but I found I couldn't push him away. Ed was still slightly delirious, still frightened by the dream, and who was I to deny him of the comfort he needed? He needed to make sure that I was alright.

"It's okay… I promise."

"I can't…can't let something like that happen to Al…to Winry… to you… hell, even to the Colonel bastard… I care too much about you guys…"

"I'm fine. Besides, nothing will happen to me… you promised to protect me."

His lips twitched into a small smile, "Hell yeah I will."

I smiled myself, "There we go. C'mon, I know you're bound to be hungry. I can hear your stomach gurgling from here."

"Yeah, yeah…"

He stood up and opened the door, with me making a face as I realized something. No longer was he eye-level.

A blond brow quirked a second later, "What's wrong with you? You look like Rand did when he found out you were his grandkid."

"You're…t-t…"

I couldn't even sputter the word out.

"Taller?"

Huffing, I whirled around and stormed over to where my bag was residing on the desk. I snatched it and then hurried into the bathroom, mumbling and grumbling.

Dammit, I did not like being vertically challenged! When Edward Elric of all people was taller than me, there was definitely something very wrong here!

Hearing him laughing to himself as he ordered room service for breakfast, I started to undress, angrily tossing my clothes into a pile on the floor. I paused in front of the oval shaped mirror, hands covering my nudity as I took in my pale frame from head to toe. I lowered my eyes, down to my average build and sighed.

I hated being a teenager, where appearances and self-consciousness ate at me. I mean, how hard was it for Ed to come out and compliment me once in awhile? Yeah, it would be rather… uncharacteristic of him… but he was the only companion I had. Sometimes it was hard to view myself the way other people perceived me and needed to be reminded that I wasn't unappealing, that I was pretty, at least even a little bit, in his eyes…

I turned my head sharply and then got in the shower, snorting.

"Who needs boys anyway?" I muttered.

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><p>Morning seemed to drag by slowly. I was relieved that I was able to get some alone time when Ed ran down to the station to buy our tickets for Dublith. It was a long train ride, but that was fine with me. All I really wanted to do was follow the leads I had gotten.<p>

I thought back to Sherah, the woman I had met in Liore that had known my father. She had shown me photographs of my father, who had come to Liore on his alchemic journey to research their sun god, Leto. She had given me a photo, which I pulled out of my bag and looked at the faded photograph, the edges worn. It was definitely my father alright.

Same goofy smile, same tousled brown hair that was always unkempt, the stubble that always was on his cheeks. He had his arm around Sherah and there was another woman in the picture, a petite thing with chocolate brown eyes and long auburn hair who was pressed against his other side. I turned the photograph around to inspect the handwriting.

"Randurdor Godric, Sherah Lyron, and Lillian Hawthorne - Liore, 1904."

I blinked.

Lillian. I knew that name from somewhere.

Frowning, I reached into my bag and found the card Allen had given me the night before. I then picked up the phone and dialed the extension.

"Colonel Mustang's office…" a bored voice answered.

"Um, yes, I was hoping to speak to 2nd Lieutenant Mustang…"

"Speaking." He didn't even give me a chance to speak, "Look, if this is another one of the Colonel's dates, you're out of luck. He's taken now and I'm pretty sure his lady friend wouldn't be pleased with you calling, especially at his job."

I snorted, "Winry knows I don't go for older men."

"…Evangeline?"

"Took ya a moment there, Allen."

"Hey! How's it going?"

"Didn't you just say this line isn't for fraternizing, Lieutenant?"

"Pfft, I'm the only one here since the rest of the team's down in Ishval working on the restoration. I got stuck with the paperwork. I mean, yeah, sometimes Tori comes in and helps out but…"

I giggled as he started to rattle on; complaining about how despite his foster father was such an amazing colonel he was lazy and horrible when it came to maintaining order within paperwork and procedure.

He finally stopped rattling on when he heard my giggles, "Heh… anyway… what's up?"

"I needed to ask you something."

I looked down at the photograph before standing up and leaning against the wall, peering out the window. Ed was arguing with a shady looking kid on the side of the street. I watched as Ed retrieved his wallet and scared him off, shaking my head.

"You said your mother's name was Lillian, right?"

"That's right."

"Is her maiden name Hawthorne?"

"Yeah…"

"And do you know of her being in Liore around…say… the summer of 1904…?"

"Yeah, my Aunt Sherah – she's my godmother – lives there. She was working on selling some exotic flowers in that area at the time. That's actually where she worked with your father the first time."

I chewed on my lip and turned away from the window, "Just how close were our parents, Allen?"

"Want to know the truth?"

"…Obviously."

He was silent for a few moments, "Eva, I think that you're – hang on a second." I heard the sound of the receiver being covered up, but could still hear his voice loud and clear in the background. "Dammit, Tori, for the last time, you can't put up your mini-skirt protest posters in here!" I heard a female voice also in the background, "I don't care that you find it sexist! He's not the Führer yet so you don't have to worry! Oh geez… Eva, I'm really sorry, but our intern is going on a rant and I really need to get out of drop kicking range… I'll get a hold of you later and we'll have dinner to discuss this."

"Wait, Allen!"

The line was already dead.

"Dammit…"

I sighed and hung up the phone just as Ed came back inside, looking irritated. He grabbed his suitcase.

"Alright, let's just get the hell out of here…"

"Bad day?" I smirked.

"Shut up, Eva."

"Nah, I don't think I will."

He rolled his eyes and then headed for the door, "Are you coming or not?" the blond demanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

"I'm coming, I'm coming…"

I shoved the photograph into my back pocket before slinging my bag over my shoulder, following him out the door and down the hall. He leaned against the wall of the elevator, hands in his pockets, yawning and looking quite irritable.

I didn't let it bother me though – I had gotten used to Ed's temper and foul moods.

Despite my mood this morning, I found I was in a better mood than usual.

"Hey, I need to run down the street real fast. Meet me at the Central Library steps within twenty!"

"H-Hey! E-Evangeline!" Ed shouted after me as I took off, "YOU CAN'T JUST RUN OFF! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING YOU!"

I snorted, "As if you've been doing that so well, Fullmetal…"

Laughing to myself, I hurried down the road, leaving Ed in the crowd. I reached the library and hurried up the steps, using the pocket watch to gain entrance. I felt guilty deceiving the officers at the doors, but I really needed to stop in on Sciezka. I wanted to say goodbye to her, for some reason.

I found her trying to put back some books. I crossed my arms behind my back, feeling my black and gray scarf dancing across my back as I tilted my head to the side, my ponytail trailing over my shoulder as my bangs fell into my eyes again.

"Um, pardon me, Miss Sciezka?"

She jolted, startled and turning around to face me, quickly adjusting her glasses. "Oh! Lt. Mustang's little sister! Hello!"

"Greetings and salutations," I chuckled. "Are you having a nice day?"

I scanned the shelves around me, looking for any signs of the jerks from before. The library was peaceful today, with only a few researchers and officers scattered around. My eyes went back to the forest green eyes of the bookworm.

"Mmhm~ I am actually. It's been a rather slow day, but it's giving me time to catch up on some paperwork." Sciezka smiled, "Is…is your brother perhaps going to be dropping by?"

I felt a grin spread across my lips as her cheeks turned pink. _So the bookworm has the hots for Allen? _I wasn't as naïve not to notice he had been very protective of her as well. Grinning deviously, I closed my eyes and rocked on the heels of my boots.

"I'm pretty sure he will! Can I use the phone real fast…?"

Blinking, she nodded and pointed at the payphone in the corner. I excused myself and scurried over to it, stepping inside and digging around my pockets, finding some loose change. Lucky for me, I had just enough. I quickly called the extension for the second time.

"Colonel Pervert's office," I heard a girl say and then a loud "VICTORIA OLSEN!" and then her say, "Alright! I got it! Geez, you act like an old man trapped in an adolescent body…" I could just imagine the woman rolling her eyes, "Colonel Mustang's office, this is Tori speaking, how may I help you today?" she said in a false sugary voice.

I liked this girl already. She had a sense of wittiness about her and she definitely was making things interesting for Allen.

I stifled my giggles the best that I could, "Yes, this is Evangeline. I need to speak with Lt. Mustang please."

"Hey, dork, it's for you."

"Thank you, Tori, so much." Allen's voice was dripping with sarcasm and I heard him mutter, "That girl will be the death of me…" before he spoke clearly, "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Eva."

"Yeah, sorry about earlier. If you still wanna talk about what we were discussing –"

I cut him off, "Another time. There's something way more important that you need to get focused on."

"Um, excuse me?"

"I'm at the library and there happens to be a very sexy librarian here with high hopes of seeing a certain marksmen. I think you might know 'im. Tall, brunette, brown eyes, cute dimples, automail arm…" I heard his breath hitch on the other end, resulting in me to smirk. "Anyway, if you see him, Lieutenant, and there's a possibility that you could direct him down to the library within the hour, I'm pretty sure it'll be worth his while if he got up the nerve to ask the shy sweetie out to dinner sometime."

Oh lord, I was around Roy and Ed too much already. I was already becoming devious when it came to matters of the heart and I hadn't even had my first kiss!

"T-Thank you for the information, Evangeline. I'll be sure to pass the message along."

I silently cheered.

"By the way, when are you leaving for Dublith?"

I glanced at the clock, "I have to meet Ed on the steps in about ten. I just wanted to see Sciezka and then head on out. And Allen?"

"Yes?"

"I'm…happy to have made your acquaintance and I hope you can forgive me for behaving so rudely last night." My face was warming as I lowered my eyes to my shuffling feet, "I'm…v-very sensitive when it comes to Edward."

He was quiet, "I understand. You have a very delicate relationship with him."

"It feels as if I'm treading on cracked glass and it's about to shatter beneath my feet." I whispered, twirling the cord of the phone. "Listen, I only have like two more minutes on here…"

"Eva, I know that it feels scary, and I know that you're inexperienced… let's face it, you wear your naiveté on your sleeve… but I can see something between Ed and you that I don't think either of you can see. I think you two are growing closer than you realize and that maybe he li –"

_Beep…beep… Please deposit fifty cens to make another call or hang up…_

"Again? Really?" Sighing, I looked at the clock, realizing I needed to head outside anyway. "Bye, Allen…" I whispered into the dead line and hung up, stepping out.

I stepped out of the phone booth, "Is everything alright?"

I nodded at Sciezka, trying to hide the disappointment I was feeling from my expression. "Yes. Allen should be dropping by later. It was nice meeting you, and I hope next time I'm in Central, maybe we can…um… maybe we can go hang out?" I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

"S-Sure thing!" Sciezka smiled shyly.

I returned the smile, "I-I need to go. Take care!"

With that said, I turned and hurried out the doors, surprised I was able to start befriending her. As I walked down the steps and looked up at the ominous overture of swirling rain clouds, I thought of all the changes.

Maybe it was time to change.

Maybe it was time to grow and learn, even if this world was so much different from my own. The weirdest thing about it, I seemed to belong here, in this olden time, in this different world that felt as if it was all just a dream…

Yet no matter what, I knew I couldn't just wake up and everything would go back to how it used to be. I didn't want it too. A world, a life without Edward, without Alphonse, without Winry and Pinako, without Roy, Hawkeye, Fuery, and even Havoc, and even without Allen and Sciezka…

That wasn't the world or life I wanted any longer.

This was my new life and it was time I started living it.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>It was sprinkling by the time Edward arrived at the foot of the steps that I was perched on. I had my head resting in my hands with my elbows propped up on my knees. I brought my eyes from the remnants of autumn leaves blowing down the street, feeling the slight November chill stinging my cheeks. I perked up upon sight of Ed, with me hurrying down the steps, leaping over the last two and surprisingly the both of us by tackling him in a hug.<p>

"E-Eva! Geez, what's gotten into you?!" he exclaimed, cheeks turning pink.

"I'm just in a really good mood!" I replied cheerfully, before I pulled back. "I think I may have a lead on my father!"

He blinked, "Um… well… that's good, I suppose…"

"What's with you? I swear, you are not a normal boy…" I rolled my eyes and started to walk beside him, "C'mon, let's hurry to the train station!" Without waiting for a reply, I broke into a run, hurrying down the street to the cross-section. I heard him call after me as I came to a stop, "Hurry up, Ed, otherwise we're gonna miss our train! Do you seriously want to walk to Dublith?"

"N-No!"

"Then let's go!" I snagged his arm and took off running again.

"E-Eva! S-Slow down, dammit!"

"I AM NOT MISSING THIS TRAIN!" I shouted before we skidded into the station.

Ed gasped for air, hunching over. "I wonder how - _huff_ - we still got - _huff_ - ten minutes?!"

"It's better to have more time than no time. We need to board anyway so we can get a good compartment. Let me borrow your pocket watch so we have access!" I reached into his pocket and stole it, leaping out of range a second later.

"H-Hey! Give that back!"

I smirked and twirled it overhead, holding it just out of reach. "Want it back?" I said, just knowing there was a devious glint in my slate eyes; that same fire that danced in my father's and grandfather's eyes.

"Give. It. Here." Ed demanded with a dead serious expression, holding out his hands. "Now."

"On the train," I laughed, ducking out of reach and quickly boarding the train.

I ducked through the crowd of passengers, accidentally brushing against one. The man in the dark trench coat and hat sneered and turned away. I hopped into the compartment and flopped down into the seat, looking down at the watch and tinkering with it as I hummed, waiting for Ed. After a few moments of trying to open it, I made a face of frustration until finally it opened. The moment it did, however, I froze as I took in the inside of the silver watch. I swallowed hard, trembling as I took in the engraved words inside it.

_Don't forget 3. Oct. 11"_

I didn't understand. What happened six years ago that Ed would carve into his pocket watch?

"Geez, Eva, how do ya expect me to protect you if you keep running off?" Ed said as he stepped inside, opening his eyes as he rubbed the back of his head.

He came to a short stop, gold eyes flashing with cold fire.

That look in his eyes made my blood run cold - dread and guilt rushing through me like ice through my veins. I shut the watch and wordlessly held it out to him, keeping my eyes on my lap as I felt him snatch it from me. He was angry. I could sense the vibes and tension in the awkward silence.

"I'm…so sorry…" I croaked.

"Only Winry's seen that… not even Al…"

"Ed, I-I'm so s-sorry…" I clenched my eyes shut and turned my head away.

"You don't even know what it means and you're crying…"

"Because I know it's something painful!" I exclaimed, forcing myself to fight my cowardice and lock my eyes back on his. "Because I know that your past is what drives you! Is that… is that the night you…?"

"It's the night Al and I burned down our family home and left Resembool…"

He finally moved, sitting down across from me. My hands clutched at my pants, nails digging into my thighs as my other hand went to my locks, running through the brown strands, twirling them and chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Look at me, Evangeline."

I slowly did, and the moment our eyes met, I regretted it. He jerked back slightly and clenched his eyes shut, clenching his fists. Without a word said, I timidly got to my feet just as the train gave its first lurch as it pulled out of the station.

Maybe it was gravity, maybe it was the pull that I undeniably felt between us, but I found myself falling forward. Instinctively, my arms latched around his neck and my face was buried into his shoulder as I ended up in his lap, seated sideways. I felt his hand on my waist. He didn't hold me, nor did he push me away.

_I'm so blind._

Why did I keep running from the truth? Wasn't that what I was searching for? Wasn't that the reason I was traveling with Edward, even though I didn't need to?

_Truth…_

I jerked slightly, eyes widening as the fuzzy remembrance of white came to mind almost a month ago, when I first arrived. The memory was there – at least, the imprint was. I could faintly remember something that was like a…

"A gate…"

That was it. I remembered Ed's words from this morning about his nightmare. I was also taken into the gate in his dream. That was where Al's body was taken; along with Ed's right arm and left leg. And that was where Ed had seen the truth… the ability to transmute without the use of circles, an ability that Alphonse also had…

"Wh…what…?"

"I-I r-remember… t-the night I c-came to t-this world…"

"What?!" I felt his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back so he could look into my eyes. I felt cool metal on my cheek as his thumb brushed away the remnants of my tears. "What do you remember?"

I chewed on my cheek, "I remember it being blinding… white and a gateway… and there was something there… a voice… a being…" I closed my eyes and tried to fight through the haze. "It called itself Truth…"

"Do you remember what it said?"

I paused, "…no…"

"That must've been when you went through the gateway with Allen's arm as Equivalent Exchange…"

I cringed, "Please don't remind me…"

"You're not at fault for that, your father is."

"I still don't really understand why my father wanted me here…"

"Maybe to make up for not giving you a good enough life. From what you've told me, it wasn't a very good one, not that it was tragic… but you still deserved better."

"Who knows…?"

He gripped my shoulder, "You alright…?"

"Me? You're the one I'm worried about. I shouldn't have pried. I feel awful. You looked at me as if… as if…"

_As if I broke your heart._

"…you just reminded me of someone… has Al or Winry shown you a picture of my mother…?"

I shook my head, "No…"

Ed sighed and shifted me into the seat, before reaching above us and grabbing his suitcase. He opened it and dug through it before handing me a photo. I took it and looked at the picture of a lovely woman with chestnut locks worn in a loose low ponytail and tender features, holding her sons lovingly.

"She… I…"

"It's hard to admit, but you do share some similar traits."

"I looked like…your mother?"

"Briefly… you had that same look in her eyes, whenever she would gaze off into the distance, waiting for my bastard father to return…"

"Your mother waited for him until the very end."

"I still don't understand why she loved him as much as she did."

I swallowed hard and looked out the window.

_Love…_

Did I love Ed?

_As my friend, of course I do, but…_

Was it possible that perhaps I…?

_Don't be stupid. What do you know? You're just a child… you know nothing._

There it was again, that cruel sneering voice in the back of my mind, my insecurities voicing their opinions.

I didn't deserve Ed; however, it's not as if I could deny how I felt towards him… How much I was willing to sacrifice for his happiness. How much I was willing to go through to take away his pain; to rid him of the burdening sorrows.

My palm pressed against the rain-streaked pane, my heart heavy in my chest.

"I'm going to go and get us something to eat… stay here, alright…"

I heard the door slide shut behind him, and that was when I allowed the tears to fall.

"I'm so stupid… how could I… I don't even… he can't… he doesn't need that…"

He needed a friend, not a lover. He needed a fighter, not a burden.

_I'm so freaking stupid. Damn these hormones! _

My eyes closed as I slumped against the window, taking a deep breath.

* * *

><p>"Eva, wake up."<p>

"Nygh…huh…?"

I managed to open my eyes, sitting up and realizing the familiar red coat covered me. I had fallen asleep and Ed was standing in the doorway. His face was stoic for the most part.

"H-How long have I been out?" I asked, rubbing my eye with the heel of my hand.

"Bout an hour or so… are you –" Ed stopped speaking, and the color drained from his face as a sickening click came behind him.

"Don't move, Elric." A gruff voice spoke, and I froze as the man in the trench coat stepped into view, pointing a pistol at Ed's head. "Hands up, boy."

Ed staggered forward slightly as the barrel was pressed against his head, "H-Hey…watch it, mister!"

The man laughed as he shut the compartment door and locked it, drawing the curtain over the window with his free hand. My heart was pounding in fear, adrenaline burning through my entire body. My mind was screaming at me.

I needed to do something, anything to save Edward, but my body was frozen solid.

"I wouldn't be trying to give orders here, pipsqueak."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK?!" we both snapped, twitching.

Ed ducked down and grasped the man's arm, disarming him. The man staggered and growled, but before he could move, Ed and I simultaneously rabbit kicked him in the gut and face. His back hit the window with Ed moving forward, transmuting a blade onto his right arm and lifting the man up, fisting his collar and holding the blade poised at his throat as I snatched the gun. Gasping, I looked down at it, seeing how it was cocked and felt my finger convulsing against the trigger as I turned and aimed it at him.

We both knew I didn't have the heart to pull the trigger, but…

_I'm scared._

"Just because you're an Amazon on steroids doesn't mean I'm a pipsqueak!" Ed shouted before tossing the man out the window.

He rolled down the embankment, still alive, but most likely with a few broken bones. Ed turned and went to high five me, but I was still on the floor, trembling hands still holding the pistol in a death grip. He knelt down and touched my hands, carefully prying my fingers from it.

"It's okay… we're okay… you can let go…"

"I-I…I-I was so scared…"

"I know… I know you were, but I swore to never let anything happen to you. I gotta protect you. I told you, things are going to get rough, and I know when to run and when to fight. Some loser with a pistol isn't going to kill me or you, Eva."

He hugged me tightly and placed a hand on the back of my head, pulling me close. I felt calmed by the embrace, feeling him hook his arm under my arm and pull me to my unsteady feet. I sat on the seat and leaned against him, taking deep breaths.

"Who was that man?"

"Not sure… might have something to do with me. I do have quite a few enemies." I watched him grimace slightly.

"That or maybe I'm getting to close to my father's research…"

"Who knows…?" Ed sighed. "I hate to leave you, but I need to go call HQ and let them know what happened. Will you be alright?"

"Yes, I will be fine." I whispered.

Ed looked around before breaking off part of the luggage rack. I watched as he used alchemy to manifest it into a small dagger. He handed it to me.

"I would leave you the pistol but…"

"No, this is fine."

I hated guns. Hated war. Hated weapons. Hated fighting.

_But, to live, you have to fight to survive…_

Dad's words echoed in my thoughts.

Ed left the compartment. I watched the door closely, alert and terrified. I wouldn't risk leaving the compartment though – not a wise thing to do. It was easier to stay put, where Ed knew where I was. I gripped the handle of the dagger in my hands tightly, my knuckles turning white. I played through my mind all of the self-defense I had learned.

I had the skill, had the strength to keep myself alive in a fight if I had an average opponent. However, that didn't mean I had the heart to hurt someone else.

The door started to open, and I felt my body tense. Heavy footsteps echoed throughout the small room, my blood rushing in my eardrums.

_Edward, why did you leave me…?_

I wasn't ready to die.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>"NO!"<p>

I jerked out of reach and sliced the dagger across the man's arm, watching as the blood spurted and dripped to the floor. Momentarily stunned, I then turned to lunge out of the compartment door. I felt myself being jerked back, a hand clamping over my mouth.

"MMPH!"

I struggled against the vice-like hold, trying to hard to gather enough air into my lungs through my nose to scream, but the crushing hold around my torso was making me lightheaded and dizzy.

The world was coming in and out of focus.

_Oh, God, help, Ed! Please!_

My struggling and squirming was helping. I somehow managed to kick the man's kneecap, stunning him enough and loosening the hold. I freed my mouth and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"EDWARD!"

That was the only thing I managed to say before I was jerked into a choke-hold, hearing the sound of a pistol cocking and feeling the cold metal barrel pressing against my temple.

_This is it. I'm really going to die here._

I closed my eyes, counting the final seconds.

_Three…two…one…_

The door was blown apart by an alchemic blast – it had stopped at step two, deconstruction.

"OH NO YOU DON'T, YOU BASTARD!"

That voice pulled me out of my dark thoughts, my eyes fluttering open. Relief filled me to my very core. I watched as Ed rushed forward, clapping his hands. He touched the walls and a wooden fist slammed into my attacker's side, throwing him into the other wall.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HER!"

I hit the floor too, but was shockingly unscathed, able to break free from his hold and scrambling to my feet. I watched as red cloth suddenly blocked my vision, grabbing at it to see it was Ed's coat, for he had tossed it over my head so I wouldn't see him violently pummeling the attacker to a bloody pulp.

He most likely would've thrown him out the window too, if it hadn't been for the soldiers showing up.

"Fullmetal, we can take it from here…"

I pulled the coat around my shoulders, blinking at the sight of Ed holding the... well what resembled a bloody slug monster rather than a man now by the back of his coat.

"Um...Edward...you can stop avenging me..."

He threw the man at the soldiers, who arrested him and dragging his nearly unconscious body out of our compartment. A full minute ticked by without Ed saying a single word. I got to my feet slowly, outstretching my arm to touch him.

He smacked my hand away, and I grasped it with my other, staggering in surprise.

"Edw -"

His nostrils flared and he huffed, "I knew I should have never left you alone! Damn…DAMMIT!"

The blond violently punched the wall and stormed off.

"E-Edward!"

Waiting for a few moments, I let the initial shock wear off. My eyes looked down at the forgotten coat, shoving my arms through the sleeves and popping out of the compartment, looking for the blond to see where he had run off too.

I hurried through the compartments of the train, stopping to inquire to a young blue-eyed brunette clad in a bandana. She looked like an automail mechanic.

"Yeah, I saw 'im. He headed for the caboose. Seemed really upset. Is he your boyfriend?"

I nearly collapsed, settling for a sweatdrop instead. "No, he's not. Just a dear friend."

"Aw, well I hope you find him! Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta make sure I don't miss the train change for Resembool…"

I watched the petite female leave, realizing she was a good three or four inches shorter than me of all people. She seemed nice and chipper, and I was glad I had asked her instead of the cranky looking woman holding a fat house cat with evil narrowed eyes. I turned and headed in the direction the mechanic had pointed. As I came upon the door to the caboose, I hesitated outside of it, peering through the small window to see him gripping the rail, braid being teased by the wind.

_This is hauntingly familiar…_

I slowly opened the door.

"Stupid. Shouldn't have agreed to do this... She'll just get more hurt!" he was saying to himself, having not heard me over the howling wind.

I felt hurt by those words, sucking in my breath sharply as anger flared in my chest. "Why does it matter if I get hurt? Do you care because of your orders, _Fullmetal_?" I spat his title.

Ed jumped slightly at the sound of my voice, "H-Huh? T-That's not what I meant!"

I couldn't help but look at him with pain and hurt. "You're my best friend, Ed. You always have been. Win's the mom I've never had, Roy's like a dad to me, Al's my brother... but you... _you_ stand out above _them all_. Why can't you see how much you mean to me?!" I shook my head and clenched my fists at my sides, "You're the only person I feel safe with!"

Shock and confusion flashed across his handsome face, "You don't get it do you? I WANT TO PROTECT YOU! But I can't even manage something as simple as that!" His automail arm clenched the rail so hard, it left a dent.

"You do protect me, you idiot! You protect me from myself! From my father, who I love even though he threw me into this world at the expense of his own apprentice! You protect me from my own ignorance!"

"But it is never… _never_... enough." Ed closed his eyes, but not before I saw the self-loathing in the amber shade.

I bit back the anger and the tears threatening to spill, feeling my own heart shatter from those words.

Three times I had experienced what those called heartbreak. The first was because of Alphonse, the second when Ed had his heart broken, and now…

"Then why don't we just find a way to send me back to Earth?! Why waste your time with someone who's just your burden?!"

_I just want to know if I even matter to you, just a bit, like you matter to me._

"I waste my time for someone who's a burden because I want to."

Ed looked me straight in the eyes with a fierce gold stare. Even then, I couldn't stop the words from rushing passed my lips. My emotions were a violent storm within me, unable to be controlled, clouding my rational mindset.

"Why would you want someone like _me_ around?" I placed a hand to my racing heart, glaring at him. "I'm just the cast off, useless child of the Shadow Alchemist, who can't even do anything right! All I do is get in the way and worry the very few people who've ever called me friend!"

He didn't respond. He went silent for a while and looked out over the landscape, which seemed to vanish with each look.

My back hit the door as I tried fighting the lump scorching my throat. "I don't deserve you guys. I don't deserve to be here, in this world... I don't deserve any of this."

Abruptly, Ed whirled around and grabbed me by my shoulders, nearly pinning me. "Don't you dare say you don't deserve anything! Can't you see everyone could care less if you're a burden or not? Can't you see everyone _loves_ to be around you?"

"I can't see it... I'm not a person who can see those kinds of things, Ed! I'm socially awkward! I've never really had friends until you! You have to tell me those things! Like how Winry told me she loved me and would have a home for me to always come back to! Like how Al told me to never give up on myself! Like how even Roy told me he was going to make sure nothing happened to me! Like how you stood up to Führer Grumman and took me on as your ward, to make sure I would be safe!"

The alchemist hesitated before he warily released me from his grip.

"I…I really wish you could see who you are in the eyes of others. It's a shame you don't."

With that said, Ed opened the door with a shaking hand, and went back inside. All I could do was lower my head and didn't move, speaking to no one at this point.

"Just like I wish you could see that I've been falling for you, over and over again, no matter how hard I tried not to."

_I'm the one who picked up the pieces when Winry broke your heart for Mustang..._

_I'm the one who's been protecting you... wish you'd see that, Ed..._

_I really do..._

_I tried moving on, tried falling for Al, but... we're too much like siblings... _

_And I can't even say any of this to your face._

_Only inside my head._

A hollow laugh escaped from my barely parted lips, my fingers withdrawing the black chrome pocket watch, still sealed with alchemy that used to belong to my enigmatic father.

"Thanks a lot, Dad. Thanks for putting me through this. I don't care if I'm the Messenger or whatever that's supposed to help this country. This isn't my world... not my responsibility..."

My eyes blurred as I looked back toward the terrain.

"But the Elrics are."

_Give unto me their pain, for they may be the only family I've ever known..._

I closed my eyes and waited for the train to pull into Dublith station.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. On November 6th, 2011 my friend Caston passed away. He roleplayed with me as Roy Mustang and his Winry and him were the ones who inspired the WinRoy pairing within this fanfic. RIP Caston, you are deeply missed by those who love you.

* * *

><p>I was shivering by the time we pulled into the station.<p>

Once the train came to a complete halt and the final whistle blew, I hopped off the back and climbed onto the platform. I waited, looking for any sign of Ed. He finally stepped off, as the sea of people cleared from my line of sight, holding my bag in one hand and his suitcase in another. I stood on tiptoe and called out to him, catching a glimpse of my reflection in a puddle on the platform.

Heh, I looked a lot like Ed in the red coat, hair bound back, with my black boots, white form-fitting pants, and black tank underneath. The look didn't suit me and I didn't think the color red did either, but I had been told before that it was a nice color on me. I preferred earth tones and dark blues in comparison.

I shrugged off the coat as Ed finally approached me. His face was set stoically. He was still upset about our fight earlier, I could tell, but I didn't press the subject. We both needed time to think before saying anything. I handed him the coat as he handed me my bag, which I opened and quickly withdrew my hooded gray shirt and black long-sleeved shirt, tugging them on and overhead.

"Teacher!"

Happiness formed across Ed's face as he suddenly took off. I jolted and hurried after him, slowing to a stop just as Ed lunged forward, arms outstretched. He was about to embrace the woman before her foot connected with his chest, sending him flying back.

"Ed!" I shrieked, kneeling beside him. "Are you okay?!" He continued to lie there, leg twitching and eyes swirling in a semi-conscious manner. All anger towards him was forgotten as I growled, turning to look at the woman with black hair worn in a dreads in a high ponytail and the same familiar insignia tattooed to her collar bone. "What the hell, lady?! You're his teacher, aren't you?! What kind of a greeting is that?!"

"Stop bitching and get him to his feet! Any student of mine would've gotten back on his feet within moments, not continue to lie there like a weakling!" She shook her head and sent a menacing glare upon the alchemist, "Up, Edward! NOW!"

Ed was immediately on his knees and bowing, "S-Sorry, Teacher!" I watched as he rubbed the back of his head with his metal hand.

"Apology not accepted, Elric! How dare you allow yourself to grow so weak?!" Her cold dark eyes locked on me, and her tone was still sharp, but not as loud. "I take it this is your ward?"

I watched as he nodded and then she surprised me by holding her hand out, "Izumi Curtis, I'm sorry for the rude introduction," she said, rather politely.

"Um…Eva…" I awkwardly shook her hand, a bit wary.

How was it all the people Ed knew were so… odd? Winry was a complete gearhead, I had no idea how to take Roy – though perverted Colonel seemed the best description, Hawkeye was motherly and psychotic when it came to being a sniper, Havoc was girl-crazy, Mei acted like a Justin Bieber fangirl when it came to Alphonse and had a rabid man-eating panda the size of a house cat, Allen was just weird, and now Ed's teacher was…

Bi-polar.

Yeah, that was the word I was looking for that best fit Teacher.

_Guess I fit right in with their island of misfit toys._

"You're right, Teacher. I have allowed my strength to diminish. Guess I'll need some tutoring from my favorite teacher." Ed grinned, eyes closed.

She rolled her eyes but a faint smile tugged at her lips, "Come with me before you both catch a cold. Sig's waiting at the shop with a warm meal. You both are too thin."

Me, thin?

I wanted to laugh but I kept quiet as I followed Izumi throughout the bustling country town that was Dublith. Many children waved to her and she waved back, a motherly demeanor surrounding her when it came to the children – and despite her prior greeting, towards Ed too. I bit my lip, trying to watch how they interacted, attempting to analyze their contradictory relationship.

It was a bond of their own, and outsiders couldn't possibly be able to comprehend without years of observing. I decided to give up now and just take it as is, as I did with the Elrics and all of Amestris' wonders. As I watched them, I decided that I liked Izumi – despite how terrifying she was.

"Here we are," Izumi opened the door to a butcher shop and we stepped inside the warm building. It smelled heavily of meat and despite my distaste for most of it, it was actually a rather pleasant scent that made me realize just how hungry I was. She opened the door to the back, "Alright, hurry upstairs and to your room and wash up for dinner. Go."

"Y-Yes ma'am!" Ed jolted and quickly reached behind, grabbing my hand. "Let's hurry, Eva."

I felt like we were children, afraid of being scolded for being late for dinner. Staggering, I managed to keep my balance as the blond decided to drag me up the stairs. He opened the first door on the left, revealing a large bedroom that had two large beds. I was surprised to see a suitcase and bag resting on one of them. Before I had a chance to take in the room, Ed had snatched my bag from me and tossed it and his suitcase onto the other bed, shutting the door and proceeding to drag me to the bathroom.

"Don't just stand there; wash up before Teacher gets mad."

I blinked and pushed up my sleeves, "O-Okay," before I quickly washed my hands too.

As Ed was drying his and I was rinsing, I glanced at him using the mirror. He had disposed of his jacket, wearing a long-sleeved black shirt; identical to the one I had first borrowed. My face burned as he decided to strip it off to change into a black t-shirt instead.

"Gwah, geez Ed!"

I splashed my face, giving myself an excuse to hide my blush with the hand towel.

"Eh? What's wrong with you?"

"I-I'm a g-girl, s-stupid, d-don't g-go stripping!"

I felt him pat me on the back, "Trust me, I definitely know you're a girl. Why, does seeing me without a shirt bother you because of the automail?"

"N…No, of c-course not." I pulled the towel away from my face and turned to look at him, "Yes, it hurts a bit seeing the scars, but I understand the circumstances and it doesn't scare or bother me. It's just… I-I…I-I think y-you're…h-handsome…"

"Handsome, eh?" His lips twitched into a small smile, which was becoming a grin, "Thanks. You ready to head downstairs?"

I nodded with my face still warm but it was easier to deal with now that he was fully clothed. I followed him back downstairs, adjusting my sleeves as we entered the small dining room. However, the moment the door opened, both Ed and I came to a complete stop.

Ed broke into a grin, laughing in joy as Alphonse rose from the table, greeting his brother with a hug and a pat on the back. All I could do was simply stare. It had been a month since I last saw those soulful bronze eyes and honey locks; that sweet boyish face, and that warm smile that made all my troubles go away. There was a lump scorching in my throat, my feet moving without my will, and the next thing I knew I had thrown my arms around him.

"Alphonse!"

"Evangeline!"

I clutched him and fought the tears, but they managed to escape me.

I was so happy to see my friend… my brother. Yes, Al was my brother. My shoulder to cry on. And right now, that's what I needed the most.

"Hey, don't cry over little old me. I'm happy to see you."

"M-Me too." I sniffled.

"What am I, invisible?" I pulled back and wiped my eyes to see Mei pouting and puffing out her cheeks, Ed laughing and patting her on the head like a kid sister.

"No, of course not." I replied. Granted, I didn't care much for the girl, but she hadn't caused me any harm. "How are you, Mei?"

"I'm doing better since the last time we saw one another," Mei gave me a smile, though I noticed it didn't reach her eyes.

The door opened and Izumi and a mammoth of a man stepped inside, "Well, looks like we don't have to break the news to them, honey." she said, smiling before turning to us. "Well, don't just stand there! Sit, it's time to eat!"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" all three of us chorused before scrambling for our seats.

Ed let me take the empty seat beside Al, and I sat as close as I could without sitting in his lap. I felt him place his hand over mine, squeezing it slightly as he smiled at me. The beef stew we had was delicious and it warmed me to my very core. The last time I had a home cooked meal was the last night we were in Resembool. Soon I was full and felt sleepy, the warmth from the food and home calming me.

"It's getting late and you four have had long trips to get here. Edward, Alphonse, we'll begin a review first thing in the morning. Eva, Mei, rest well. I hope you two don't mind sharing a room with the boys."

"Of course not, Miss Izumi." I replied, "Thank you for the meal and allowing us to stay here as well."

"You're very welcome," Izumi gave a tender smile and I smiled back.

_Yeah, I definitely like her, even if she does seem a bit crazy._

We said our goodnights and went to head upstairs. Mei grabbed her bag and called dibs on the shower before any of us could move. I noticed Al was giving a sad smile as the door shut behind the Xingese princess.

"So what's up with her?" I asked while leaning against the wall as Ed started to go through his suitcase to get some of the dirty clothes washed.

Ed glanced at his younger brother, "Yeah, she seems upset. Did something happen?"

Al blushed and looked away, "It's…hard to explain, Brother."

"You rejected her, huh?"

Both Elrics looked at me before Al gave a nod.

"What? I thought you liked her." even Ed looked baffled.

"I thought I did too, but… I…" Al gave a heavy sigh, "Like I said - it's hard to explain. I tried but I realized Mei and I have a really good friendship, and I just… don't want to risk losing that… nor can I really see her as something more. She'll get over it soon; I know she will, she rebounds quickly."

"Everyone finds love, somehow or someway. Even Fuery found a girl."

"Fuery, eh? It's not Sciezka is it?" Ed snickered.

I laughed, "Nah, though you're not the first to think of it. Actually, Fuery's dating the Colonel's intern – Tori Olsen. He told me about it in his last letter. They really hit it off. And besides, Allen's called dibs on Sciezka."

"First Havoc and Hawkeye, now Fuery and Tori, Allen and Sciezka… the Colonel and Winry…" Ed stiffened at the reminder as Al crossed his arms and chuckled, "Seems to me love is finding its way to everyone lately. Even Ling and Lanfan are together!"

"Seriously?" Ed smiled a little, "That's good to hear. How's Lanfan doing anyway, with her automail?"

"Still one of the best fighters of the Yao clan. She lives up to Fuu's memory."

"I'm glad to hear that, and Ling? How's he doing with his new responsibilities?"

"He is a king for the people. Yeah, sometimes he gives Lanfan a scare and disappears, only to collapse from hunger…" Al laughed again, "but he's happy and the people of Xing are happy."

"Speaking of, were you able to help?"

"Yes. Everything's fine now. Mei and I have been back in Amestris for about four days now. We decided to come visit Teacher."

I spoke up, "I'm kind of surprised Mei came back with you, especially since things are so strained between the two of you currently."

He smiled softly, "Things will be patched up soon. Though you may want to watch out, Eva. Envy is a nasty thing that takes out the best in people."

"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes before groaning, "Oh god, she doesn't think I like you, does she?"

"No, she thinks that it's the other way around."

My heart skipped a beat at those words, "You…don't though."

"No, I don't." Al replied slowly.

"Not to sound mean, but I'm glad. You're one of my closest friends, like that of a brother to me."

"Same, I think of you like a sister, like I do Winry."

"Well, have you told Mei you don't like Evangeline that way?" Ed piped up.

I noticed he kept his back to both of us as he continued to sort through the clothes. Al looked back at me and I shrugged slightly. He looked back at Ed.

"Yeah, I have, but she doesn't believe me."

"She'll just have to see that Eva's just not interested and you're not interested."

"Guess so…"

"Alright, I'm going to go get these washed. Eva, want me to wash your clothes?"

"If it's not too much to ask…"

"It's not. Go ahead and get your nightgown out and give me the ones you're wearing."

I blinked, "O-Okay."

I went over to the closet and opened the door, stepping behind it and disposing of my clothes, quickly changing into my nightgown and bundling the rest before putting it in my bag. I handed it to him after pulling out my notes and other items, putting them in the drawer of the bedside table. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Ed left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Neither Alphonse nor I spoke until the last step was heard and Ed was downstairs. The shower was still running, signaling Mei would be awhile.

Al's footsteps were soft as he crossed the room and sat down beside me. I kept my eyes on my bare feet, barely brushing against the hardwood floor before I crossed my ankle behind the other, and one hand gripping the sheets of the bed.

"Brother's…different."

"He's grown a few inches," I muttered, still irked by that.

"Not just physically. Emotionally. Mentally. He's matured some." I glanced at the honey blond out of the corner of my eyes, "Seems traveling with you has done him some good."

"Good? Al, I'm just a burden. He said so himself. He hates how he can't seem to protect me."

Bronze orbs flickered, "What all's happened?"

"Well, recently… on the train ride here, we were attacked twice, by men in dark trench coats carrying pistols. The first Ed and I took out and he tossed out the train window. The second… tried to kidnap me. Ed saved me, but I was…helpless and scared. I…I-I honestly thought I was going to die."

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. "Ed would never let that happen to you."

"I know that… but does he?"

"He's just scared, Eva…"

"Scared for me or of me?"

"Why would he be scared of you?"

I lowered my eyes, "Because… because I…"

Heat burned its way to my face, creeping up my neck as I felt how fast my heart was pounding just from the thought of him. My clammy hand gripped the sheets tighter and I felt Al withdraw from me, turning my face with a gentle hand and lifting my chin so that my eyes met his gaze.

The realization hit him as he whispered, "You're… falling for him, aren't you?"

"Falling or fallen, I haven't a clue." I muttered, "I've never been in love before. Never really had a chance to experience the difference between a crush and love. All I know is that I just want him safe, that he's precious to me… you both are. You're the only real family I've ever had, Al."

I sighed and shook my head, tearing my eyes away from his. "I used to have a crush on you, but you… are like my brother. And whereas I thought Ed was like my older brother, I've realized… I can't think of him that way. I really would like to believe that I do love Edward… but how can I be sure? I need more time… and even if I do come to terms with what I'm feeling, who's to say that he'd ever return those feelings? Ed gave his heart to Winry and she broke it. Just because I helped mend the pieces doesn't mean I have a right to his heart."

Sighing, Al stood up and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain and looking up at the evening sky for a few seconds.

"Eva, I know my brother better than anyone… Ed would do anything to protect you, the same way he would Win. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean the care isn't there…"

He turned again, this time looking at me with eyes that spoke a thousand words. Words I had no way of really understanding right now.

"My brother cares for you and it's about time you stop trying to protect everyone by pretending to be so blind." Al's words were intense, causing my breath to hitch at not only his words but also the intensity in his eyes, "I'm your friend, Eva. Yes, I'm going to get hurt. Everyone does. But you know what? There are people worth enduring hardships for… worth suffering for… and you can't keep everyone at a distance in fear of hurting them or being hurt yourself. It's not healthy. You're not meant to be a loner. You're a lover and a fighter and you belong with family… our family."

"Family…?"

"Aunt Pinako, Winry, the Colonel, Lt. Hawkeye, Lt. Havoc, Sergeant Fuery, Lt. Breda and Warrant Officer Falman, Major Armstrong, General Armstrong, Sciezka, Allen, Tori, Teacher, Sig, Brother, me… even Mei, Ling, and Lanfan… all those people, including the ones you've never met, they're your family too. Now stop trying to shy away from us and just accept it, silly…"

"A…Alright…"

Smiling, Al glanced back out the window as I drew my legs close to my chest, hugging them as I thought over what he said.

"Alphonse… do you know Allen very well?"

"Ed knows him better than I do, I only know that he was raised as the Colonel's foster brother and later became his foster son. Why?"

"His mom was really close to my dad… and he sacrificed his arm in order for me to come to this side of the gate, from Earth. He said… he was my father's apprentice, but Allen doesn't use alchemy…does he?"

"He specializes in weapons' alchemy, he uses it with enhancing his firearms but he won't use it for anything else."

"But then how come he isn't a state alchemist? Why just remain a 2nd Lieutenant when as a State Alchemist he's equivalent to a major…"

"Roy's the only family he has left… that's how he stays close to him and protects him…"

"Oh…"

"There's another reason you're asking about Allen, isn't there?"

"Al… do you think…there's any chance that I'm his half-sister…?"

"What does your gut tell you?"

"To find out all the facts…"

"And what does your heart say?"

I bit my lip and my bangs fell into my eyes, "…yes."

"Talk to Allen, face-to-face, next chance you get. Right now, you should get some sleep. You can barely keep your eyes open."

"I-I can't."

He blinked, "How come?"

_I don't want to sleep alone…_

Alone, it was easier for the nightmares to take over.

"Mei's almost done and then you won't be alone," Al reassured. "I'll sit with you until then, okay?"

"O…Okay…"

I climbed under the covers and rolled onto my side, feeling the mattress shift as Al sat beside me. He started to stroke my hair and rub my shoulder, trying to coax me into falling asleep. I rested my head on his thigh, drawn to his warmth.

"I…really missed you…" I closed my eyes.

_What is love anyway?_

Feeling so close to Al, I almost felt like the same girl that he held so tightly.

"I missed you too… and I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye."

"It's okay…"

His fingers brushed through my hair slowly, making it hard to keep awake now.

"Your hair… it reminds me of hers…"

"Your mother…?" I mumbled.

"No, someone else. Sweet dreams, Evangeline…"

"Night, Alphonse… I love you…"

_But how do I love you?_

His lips brushed against my cheek, "And I love you, my sister…"

_Oh…that's right… like that…_

* * *

><p>Was this a dream or was this for real?<p>

This place seemed much too real to be just a dream, but then again, I had never been here before. I was in a desert, surrounded by old ruins of what looked once to be civilization. I stepped across the sand, looking back to watch as the wind carried away my footprints.

_Eva…_

I whirled, hearing a voice call my name. I heard it again, my name echoing through the air, a voice that was faintly familiar.

"Daddy?"

_This way, darling!_

"Daddy!"

I hurried up the hill, slipping and sliding down the dune, scrambling to my feet as I looked up at the sky, swirling with clouds. My hair whipped around wildly, my hands trying to keep it out of my face and eyes as I looked around, staggering and turning every time I heard his voice.

"Daddy, where are you?!"

_Here!_

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a movement. I whirled and there was no one there. My boots hit stone and I turned, realizing I was on a platform of sorts, looking up at a broken stone structure.

Temple ruins, maybe…?

"Daddy! Please! I can't find you!"

_Evangeline…_

Time stopped as I turned one last time. I did not move forward, nor could I, even if I wanted to. My body was immobilized. Standing across from me was a memory.

"Evangeline Terezka… my beautiful darling…"

"Dad…?"

He nodded, looking weary. I couldn't move forward.

"This is definitely not real… you're just a ghost…" I whispered before calling out, "Dad, why am I here? Can you please… tell me why you hurt Allen just to bring me here?"

"Allen…" that named made pain come to his slate gray eyes.

"Dad, please. I need to know…"

"Eva, you are the Messenger. It is up to you."

"Up to me to do what? I'm seventeen, just a teenager. I can't do anything to change the world."

"Ah, but you can. Your arrival was a message that Amestris has danger knocking on her doorstep. Only you can unlock the answers of my research, along with your friend."

"You mean Edward."

"Indeed I do. He is a brilliant young man and who better than to entrust my daughter with?"

"You act like you gave me to him."

"In a sense, I have. You are his responsibility, Evangeline, and if anything should happen to you, Amestris itself may come to its end…"

"This is just a dream… just nonsense. You're not my father. You're a figment of my imagination appearing to me through my subconscious due to the stress I've had."

He laughed, "Definitely my daughter… you always analyze everything before you believe it with your own eyes. No wonder Angelina left you too… you saw right through her masks."

I didn't comment. I didn't talk about my mother.

In my eyes, I didn't have a mom.

Dad turned and my gaze followed, watching as another man stepped around the ruins and joined us. My breath hitched as gold eyes locked on me, golden hair pulled back into a high ponytail of a bearded man.

"My son never was one to hide his love for his mother… she resembles Trisha." he remarked to my father.

"She lacks her docile nature, but yes… there are some resemblances between the two." Dad chuckled and looked back at me, "This is Van Hohenhiem, Ed and Al's father."

"You're just a ghost too. Geez, why do I feel like I'm in _Star Wars_ or something?"

"Excuse me?" Hohenhiem blinked.

"Never mind. Dad, does this dream have any relevance or did Ed's crazy Teacher spike my stew?"

Once again, he laughed, that fire dancing in his eyes. "Yes, it has relevance, and it's not just a dream… it's a sign, dearest daughter. Not all that appears to be really is. That is all I can truly say."

"Randurdor, it's time…"

Sorrow etched across my father's features, "So it is… Evangeline, you do know that I love you, right?"

"Lately, it's been hard to believe that." I replied honestly, "but yes I know you love me. There's always been a method to your madness, Daddy…"

"I'm sorry. I hope one day, you can forgive me."

"One day," I agreed softly.

"Take care, Eva."

"I love you, Daddy…"

Then, the dream was gone, and I was left in reality, grief stricken once more.

* * *

><p>I wiped the tears staining my face and peered around the dimly lit room. I couldn't move out of bed though, trying to pull myself together.<p>

"Hey, it's okay. Don't cry."

The feeling of silk on my cheek wiping my tears caught my attention. I wasn't alone as I first thought, upon seeing Ed and Al's vacant bed through my blurry eyes. I turned and saw Mei was sitting up; long ebony hair waving down passed her waist, wiping away my tears with a handkerchief.

"Alphonse said you might have bad dreams. Are you okay?"

I nodded and croaked, "Y-Yeah… thanks, Mei."

She smiled, "It's no problem. C'mere." the Xingese girl pulled me into a hug, "Cry all you want, I'm right here."

"I thought you didn't like me…" I mumbled.

"I thought you didn't like me."

"I didn't…at first…"

"Same here, but you can't judge a book by its cover. That's what Alphonse taught me."

"Al…doesn't like me. We're like siblings."

"I know."

"Sorry…he rejected you…"

"It's fine. I'm over it."

"Where's Xiao Mei…?"

"Right here, asleep."

"And the boys?"

"Outside, training. Do you want to go take a shower and then go shopping for some breakfast?"

I pulled back, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Mei shrugged, "Guess I'm just following Emperor Ling's teachings."

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, "Yeah…"

"So I'll ask again! Will you spend the day with me?"

"Uh, sure…I guess…"

"Goody! Now go shower!"

"Um…okay…"

As I grabbed the freshly laundered cargo pants and long-sleeved shirt and hurried to the bathroom, I paused in the doorway and looked back, trying to figure out what had gotten into Mei. Shrugging, I decided to just go with it and shut the door. My dream of my father haunted me, but I wasn't going to let it unravel me.

I would find the answers, soon enough.

"Not all that appears to be really is…" I whispered.

_Just what do you mean, Daddy…?_


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>By the time we got back to Izumi's, I was exhausted. Mei had dragged me all throughout the shopping district, getting random trinkets to bring back home. Several hours later, my feet hurt and my calves were screaming as I managed to stagger into the yard, flopping underneath the tree and leaning against it. Ed and Al were sparring against Izumi, and I didn't even blink as Al was thrown into the bush close by, with Mei hurrying to his side and using alkahestry to heal the scrapes along his cheeks from the rose bush.<p>

"Ah, I see the girls have returned. Alright, you two have earned a break."

"That's what you said three hours ago!" Ed whined under his breath.

He quickly shut up the moment she glared at him before heading inside.

"You okay, Alphonse?" Mei asked, helping him sit up.

"Wiped out." Al gave a sheepish grin, "My muscles hurt from not having to use them in so long!"

"Mine too," Ed muttered. "Winry's gonna kill me. My knee keeps locking up."

"It's from the changes in the weather, going from warm to cold." I replied, "I'll call Win and ask to see what we need to do to at least keep it functioning until we head back to Resembool next week."

"You don't hafta right now…" Ed crawled over to me and laid down on the grass and leaves. "Feels so comfortable…I'm going to sleep here for a little while…so tired…"

"You dork," I sighed and grabbed him by his under arms, pulling him across the leaves so that his head was resting on my lap. "If you're gonna nap, at least do it where ants won't nest in your hair."

His cheeks tinged pink and his eyes shut, "S-Shut up,"

Ed didn't move from my lap though and I started to absentmindedly begin to run my fingers through his bangs, playing with the small antenna. I watched his chest rising and falling, seeing if he was asleep.

"Hey…Eva…?" he murmured.

"What is it, Ed?" I replied softly.

"Do you think… that I…"

"That you…?"

He rolled onto his side, burying his face into my stomach. "Never mind…"

My cheeks flamed in a heavy blush as I continued to run my fingers through his hair, watching as he drifted off to sleep. I looked up to hear giggling, seeing Mei and Al across the yard, quickly looking away and continuing to giggle. I looked back down and back up, before piecing together what it looked like.

I swear, steam would've been coming out of my ears my face was burning so bad.

It felt as it the very fires of hell were licking my skin!

_To think that Edward and I act like a…a… couple…_

"He looks so innocent," Mei teased in a low voice.

"Better steal this opportunity! Knowing Ed, this will be the last time he'll ever let his guard down so easily!" Al sang, winking.

"Steal…wha-?"

I watched as the alchemist and princess hurried inside. No one else was around and the only sound besides Ed's light breathing was the rustling of the leaves of the trees and wind blowing across the grass. He mumbled something in his sleep, rolling onto his back, stomach exposed and his hand pressed against it. I bit my lip as I watched him closely.

His cheeks were lightly flushed from being wind stung, his peach-colored lips barely parted, and golden strands lightly being teased by the breeze and brushing against his tawny cheek. Timidly, I brushed my fingertips through the strands to his warm cheek, feeling that skin was soft and warm, kissed by the sun in tone.

He was gorgeous, almost angelic.

_Better steal this…opportunity…? Surely Alphonse didn't mean…_

I squeaked as the thought of kissing Ed came to mind. Holding my breath, I waited a moment to make sure that I hadn't woken him. He was fast asleep still, looking peaceful. My fingers continued to barely brush against his cheek as I began to lean down; glad my hair was pulled back so none of the strands would brush against his face.

I hesitated the moment my lips were only centimeters away from his, caught within spiritual warfare. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to discover if his lips were as soft as I had found myself wondering a lot more and more lately, but I was also scared.

What if he woke up and caught me?

It felt wrong, stealing a kiss from a napping boy. My eyes fell half-mast before I decided to face the consequences later. I fought the bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach. I leaned forward, feeling our lips brush slightly and just as I was about to press them firmly…

"Edward Elric! Evangeline Godric!"

"Shit!" I jerked back as fast as I could, whacking my head against the tree. Gasping in pain, I clutched the crown of my head, fighting the tears that sprung to my eyes and continued to curse under my breath as car doors slammed. "Who the hell…?"

I blinked rapidly through the tears and looked up, shocked to see a large muscular man who had an aura that was very – er – sparkly burst out of the car. He had a small blond curl on his head. I looked from the flamboyant man back down to Ed, who grunted and was rubbing his eyes.

"The hell's goin' on…? GWAH!"

Next thing I knew, Ed was being jerked out of my lap and pulled into a lung-crushing embrace by the man with him screaming like a frightened madman. I tried to get to my own feet, but I was slightly disoriented from hitting my head. I pressed my hands to the trunk to steady myself.

"Y-You're hurting him!"

"M-MAJOR!" Ed gasped, "C-CAN'T…BREATHE!"

"Oh, my apologies."

Ed was placed onto his feet, staggering away from the Major and practically clinging to me. I cringed slightly as those bright blue eyes fixated on me.

"So this is the talk of the military, Fullmetal's Ward and daughter of the renowned Shadow Alchemist from another world!" I screamed as he swooped in and shook my hand, "It's such a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, young lady! I am Alex Louis Armstrong!"

"Um… hi? May I have my arm back please?" I felt dizzy from all the jerky movements and my head was starting to pound.

Ed shook off his own disorientation, "Just what are you doing here in Dublith, Major Armstrong?"

"I've come to fetch you."

"Fetch me? Or us?"

"Both of you. Führer King Grumman has requested the immediate summoning of you and your ward."

"B-But…b-but we're…" I couldn't even string two words together.

"Come along, we must make haste!"

"H-Hang on a second!" Ed shouted as the man grabbed my arm and started to drag me toward the car.

I reached out to Ed, staggering. "Help! Edward!"

"Major!"

Ed jerked me back. I tripped and hit his chest, feeling his arms locked around me tightly.

_He…smells really good…_

Blushing and fidgeting, I blinked and looked back at Armstrong.

"What's the meaning of this, Edward? Hmm?"

"Look, I understand that I am a dog of the military and have to follow direct orders, but you can't just go kidnapping my ward. She's my responsibility. You said that the Führer needs to see us, then we'll go see the Führer, but it's going to have to be on our time. I need to head to stop in Resembool for repairs and –"

"I'm sorry; Edward, but I can't allow this. Bring your mechanic to Central."

A tic formed in Ed's jaw, "Dammit…" he muttered, "Alright, fine. Evangeline, are you okay?"

"F-Fine," I nodded.

He released me and gripped my shoulder, "Go get ready, alright? And take care of that bump on your head. You're bleeding."

"H-Huh?!" I touched my face and blood was sliding down the side of it. "Gwah!"

"Go see Mei and Al. They'll heal you with alkahestry. I need to have a few words with the Major."

"A-Alright…"

I staggered toward the house, pausing to look back out at where Ed was standing beside Armstrong, lips moving quickly.

"EVA!" Izumi barked, causing me to jump. "YOU'RE BLEEDING! WHAT DID MY STUPID APPRENTICE DO NOW?!"

"I-I d-did it!"

"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE _NOW_!"

"Y-Yes, Teacher!"

I scurried over to the kitchen as quickly as I could.

* * *

><p>"You two didn't have to tag along."<p>

"We wanted to, Brother."

"Sounds like he's trying to get rid of us, Alphonse." Mei stated a teasing glint in her obsidian eyes. "Seems to me he didn't want us interrupting his private travels with his _girlfriend_~"

She sang the last word, Ed twitching and trying to lunge for her, but Armstrong grabbed his shoulder and forced him to stay put.

"Did you get a hold of Winry?" I dared to ask.

"Yeah, she's going to be meeting us in Central."

"I still don't understand what's so dire that we had to leave immediately…"

"Neither do I, but what else can I do? I'm the military's dog and when I get called back, I have to come back. And I'm sorry that you keep getting jerked around too."

I jumped, "I-I don't mind it! Really!" I forced a smile.

He looked back out the window and I sighed before looking around the train. I felt Al place a hand on my arm and I placed my hand over his, giving it a small squeeze before turning my own attention back out the window at the landscape. Soon the country would be replaced with bustling city streets once again.

Maybe I would finally get to see Allen and talk to him face-to-face about our parents. At least that was something to look forward to, rather than dread this strange summons from the Führer.

I had the feeling, twisting in my stomach mercilessly once again, that this time when I left Central, I would be in pursuit of something other than my own selfish goals.

* * *

><p>"Dragged us all the way here, just to warn us about some stupid morons who broke into the records department and they stole all the files they had on you… ugh!" Ed muttered.<p>

Clearly, he was pissed and didn't think it was worth his time. I disagreed. I felt… _violated_ that someone had stolen my records.

I chewed on my cheek, playing with the old key that the Führer had also given me. It was to the safety deposit box at the local bank. I needed to withdraw the rest of my income anyway. I had the feeling Ed and I couldn't keep coming back to Central.

"Look, I know you're upset Ed, but we can't let it bother us. We should just… head to the bank, see what's in this security deposit box, and then head to where we're meeting up with Al, Mei, and Winry."

He gave a heavy sighed and scratched at the back of his head, "Guess you're right… just irritates me."

"I know… trust me, I know."

"Alright, to the bank then."

We started to head down the street, the sound of screeching tires piercing the air before a car stopped right beside us. The window was rolled down.

"Get in." Hawkeye ordered.

"L-Lieutenant, w-what are you doing in Central? Weren't you in Ishval?"

"Get in the car, Edward! Eva, you too! This concerns you."

"Y-Yes ma'am!"

Ed snatched my sleeve and dragged me into the backseat. The moment the door was shut behind us, Havoc stepped on the gas, driving like a maniac and sending Ed flying into me. We ended up on the floor, with him pinning me down. My heart stopped and my face burned hotter than ever before, Ed trying to pull himself back into the seat. Once he was in it, he buckled in and helped pull me out of the floor.

"What the hell, Havoc?! Is there a fire or something?!"

"It's a matter of life and death, so stop whining and hold on tight!" Havoc snapped.

My hand clutched at Ed's. I didn't care that it was his right hand and he couldn't feel it. I just need to know he was there. I had that twisting dread in my stomach once again, the kind that I had felt once before in my life, right before my father died.

_I still regret not stopping him from leaving that rainy day._

"Eva, you okay?" Ed asked softly.

I shook my head and refused to speak as the car approached the hospital.

"Is it Fuery?" I whispered.

"No."

"Breda?"

"No."

"Falman…?"

"No, they're all alright."

"R…Roy…?"

Hawkeye's piercing eyes, so familiar, so different, and locked on me in the rear-view and she shook her head. I was relieved yet at the same time terrified.

_That could only mean…_

Havoc barely had time to pull over before I was flying out of the car and running through the entrance. I heard their running footsteps tailing me, but I didn't slow down. I reached the information desk, slamming my hands down on it and startling the poor woman behind it.

"Where is he?! Where's Allen Mustang?!"

"Miss, I'm sorry, but without identification…" her eyes scanned me, looking for any trace of Military I.D., "I cannot release any information to a civilian."

"Dammit, that's my brother!" I snatched her shirt and jerked her so she was almost nose-to-nose with me. "I want to know what happened to my brother!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Releasing the woman, I whirled around and Ed snatched my wrist before my hand could connect with his cheek. His eyes were cold again, his face serious.

"Calm down. Freaking out won't get you any answers. I should know."

"That's my brother…" I hissed.

Before I could continue to protest and argue, Hawkeye approached the desk. A few moments later, she spoke up.

"Let's go. He was just released from surgery recently. He's in his room and can see visitors."

_Surgery?_

What happened during my absence, between the last time Allen and I had spoken?

"Put these on and keep close, don't start any trouble." Havoc ordered, handing over visitor passes to Ed and me.

My hands were shaking as I put on the pass, before quickly following the two lieutenants through the bustling military hospital. Our paces were quick as we moved through the winding corridors. I tried to keep my gaze either forward or on my feet as much as possible, only daring to steal glances every so often.

I hated hospitals. They made my skin crawl and my stomach knot up. I could sense the grief; the death. This place reeked of it. I struggled to keep my thoughts from whirling, my imagination from producing crazy reasons as to why Allen was in the hospital. I kept my fists shoved into the pockets of my pants, my nails biting down into the meat of my palms.

"Riza!"

I jerked my head up as a blur of red latched onto Hawkeye. She wordlessly wrapped her arms around the young woman who was embracing her. She withdrew, furiously wiping her teary sapphire blue eyes, her dark red hair worn to just passed her shoulders and side-parted.

"It's quite alright, Victoria." Hawkeye tried to soothe her. "Sergeant Fuery, how is he?" she directed her attention to Fuery, who was seated and nervously twisting his hands.

"He'll recover just fine, ma'am…"

"Is there anyone in there right now?"

"Colonel Mustang, ma'am. Falman and Breda just went to go and get some coffee to calm our nerves."

"Very well then. Evangeline, Edward, you two should go in first."

Ed gripped my shoulders, "Alright. Eva, c'mon."

I tried to will my feet to move, but I was rooted in place, staring at the shut door. I was terrified to see what was on the other side. I didn't even know what had occurred for Allen to end up here. I glanced back at the others.

Fuery had Tori sitting beside him, gripping her hands as she pressed her fist to her mouth, fighting her tears. Havoc had a hand on Hawkeye's shoulder, gripping it slightly. She had her arms crossed under her breasts, brown eyes cold and emotionless.

I felt his hot breath on my neck, tickling my ear as he whispered, "It's alright. I'm here."

My fingers brushed against the wooden door before wrapping around the cold metal handle, twisting it. I took my first step as I turned the knob all the way.

Very slowly, I opened the door.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>The sound of machines humming and beeping would always haunt me.<p>

They still did, especially when my grandparents – my mother's parents – passed away when I was small. I remember the one time Uncle Jesse had to be rushed to the hospital and I had to go with him, because Dad had been gone. It had been a frightening experience for an eleven-year-old girl.

I still felt like that little girl, despite all the growing up I had been doing lately.

Ed guided me into the room. Every sound, every breath, every footstep seemed to echo. This wasn't a memory to easily be forgotten. No, this would join the rest of the memories that were constantly replaying in the back of my mind.

I didn't care that I didn't have confirmation. I just knew Allen was my brother and I was the half-sister he had been searching for.

The pieces of the puzzle were all there, just waiting for us to slide them together.

The room was barely lit, other than the faint light that was trying to force its way through the thick curtains that were drawn. If I hadn't been warned he was in the room, I would've never noticed Roy seated beside the bed, elbows on his knees and fingers locked together, mouth pressed against the cloth of the ignition gloves. As Ed led me to the end of the bed and I could finally see the profile of his face, I saw that his obsidian eyes were locked solely on Allen.

I bit back my fears and slowly brought my gaze to him. He was slightly elevated, wearing a hospital gown. His automail fingers were clutching the sheets and an IV was in his arm. From what I could see, he was unscathed. But my eyes couldn't see all of him.

"Who is it…?" he rasped.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I finally took my first step on my own since entering the room. I felt Ed's hands leave my shoulders as I hurried to the other side of the bed, taking his hand into my own, just holding it and pressing it to my cheek. His chocolate eyes flickered to my face, sparking in recognition.

"Evangeline, is that you?"

"Yeah…it's me… I'm here…" I squeezed his hand, taking my other to brush some of his damp messy bangs out of his face.

His lips formed a small smile, "Glad to see you…"

"Glad to see you too… though not in a hospital bed…" It was taking all of my restraint to keep from breaking down right now. Just to remain calm and hear the story before my imagination took over. "Care to fill me in, Brother…?"

He seemed more alert now, "You called me 'Brother'."

"That's right…" I kissed his hand.

"So you figured it out, huh?"

I paused and then whispered, "Yes."

"Your father's full name was…Randurdor James Godric the IV. We share the same middle name. He was my father too… but I never really saw him as one. Just the man that sired me. The only thing I'm thankful for when it comes to Randurdor is that he did sincerely love my mother. The only real father I've ever had is the man sitting next to my bed, looking ready to set someone on fire." I saw Roy lift his head slightly at those words, "Though we were raised as brothers, you always acted more like a father toward me…in the way you looked after me…"

"Allen…"

Roy didn't say anything more. I don't think he could, even if he wanted to. He was touched by his words.

"Even so, I'm glad that I do have my sister…" Allen turned back to me. "Are you alright, Eva…?" He brought his cold, metal fingers to my cheek.

"Me? You're the one in the hospital, dummy." I whimpered, feeling the tears sliding down my face.

Ed finally spoke and I glanced over my shoulder to where he was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "What happened, Allen?"

Allen went to sit up when my hands pressed him back against the bed while Roy found the controls to adjust it. I looked at the equipment and bit down on my lip. I wish that Amestris was as advanced in technology as my home world. They were doing pretty well though. I just hoped that my brother's life wouldn't be put at risk because of it.

"After I got that phone call from you on the train, I started to do some digging with Sciezka." Allen sighed and I noticed a slight wince from the action. "Y'know, to try and find out who those guys in black were… and why they were after you two. Well, seems we uncovered some good leads. Turns out they're a group of researchers that banded together after Randurdor's disappearance. They wanted to keep his research alive but without the Shadow Alchemist, they lost all funding from the military. They wanted to use the research for inter-dimensional travel. Now that Eva's shown up, they want to know what secrets she has as to how she arrived…"

"But you're the reason I'm here. You sacrificed your arm to pay the toll so that I could come through the gate…"

"These men are obsessed and slaves to alchemy. They wouldn't believe that for a second. They must think that because it was the Shadow Alchemist, he made a new gate to a paradise..."

I shook my head. Earth was far from paradise. It was just as chaotic there.

"So you got to close to the truth…"

"Yeah. I was walking Sciezka home last night. Damn bastards ruined the moment too. I was just about to kiss her when some little weasel shot me. I got lucky though and it missed a lot of my vital organs. I had to have surgery though."

"Allen… I'm so sorry… you're in here because of me…"

"Hey now, don't cry. You're my baby sister and it's my job to look after you. Yeah, I got hurt, but it'll take more than a bullet wound to kill me." Lifting my chin, Allen brushed away my tears and smiled. "Now don't make me give you the same speech I gave Sciezka."

I wiped my tears, "You sure you're okay?"

He laughed, "Trust me, I'm fine. Just gotta give it some time to heal, but pretty soon I'll be out and hunting down those vermin and capping them in their asses for coming after us."

Us.

He said it like we were family.

_You are family._

That voice was back, but it wasn't as condescending as usual.

"I'm glad to see you're going to recover, Allen." Ed piped up.

Allen raised an eyebrow, "Whoa, is the shorty growing soft? I think this is the nicest you've ever been to me."

Ed snatched the bedpan and pitched it at Allen, who caught it and threw it back. Ed barely ducked as it clattered against the floor. Before Ed could even open his mouth and go on a rant, the doors opened and Hawkeye and Havoc were both armed.

"At ease, it's just the _children_." Roy said, stress mark evident and eyes narrowed in a glare, mainly on the spitfire blond.

"Sorry for the intrusion, sir." Hawkeye replied, before the two left the room again.

I rolled my eyes, "Really?" I asked them both. "Can't you two act your ages for once?"

"He brings out the youth in me." Allen chuckled while Ed just fumed. "But seriously though, Fullmetal, you seem… calm. You wouldn't happen to be behaving because of my sister now would you?" An evil glint formed in his eyes.

I cringed slightly. Oh dear God, Allen definitely had the potential to be the overprotective big brother. Any man who even looked at me the wrong way would be getting alchemic-enhanced gunfire on them in a heartbeat.

I leaned in and kissed his cheek, distracting him and then hissing in his ear, "You lay one hand on Ed and I'll maim you, big Brother or not. I happen to really like this guy and I'm not going to have you come in-between that."

"It's _Ed_, what on earth can you possibly see in him?"

"A lot more than a lot of people, apparently. Please, Allen? For me?"

I hoped the cute expression I was making had the effect I planned it did.

It must've, because Allen blushed and he rubbed the back of his head, "Alright, alright, fine. But if he ever hu –"

"You have full permission to tear him into itty bitty shreds."

"Thank you."

"What are you two muttering about?" Ed demanded.

"Just the fact that you're still pathetically short, despite your growth spurt. Damn, man, my sister's only five-three and you only got about three inches on her."

"Enough!" Roy snapped before Ed could blow up. "Both of you. I'm getting a headache."

"Sorry, sir." Allen piped up before he smirked.

Ed growled, a tic forming in his jaw as he looked away. Relieved that Allen really was alright, I stood up.

"We should go ahead and let the others see you now."

"Yeah, might be a good idea before Tori has a meltdown. I'd feel bad for Fuery for months."

I chewed on my nails for a moment, "Is there anything we can do?"

"Just stay alive and safe."

"Allen, I –"

"I mean it, Eva. I've lost everyone I care for. I don't want to add my sister to that list."

I nodded sadly, "Alright. Promise."

"I'll hold you to that, and the shrimp."

"Allen!"

"I mean Edward."

Ed looked like he was on his last nerve.

"I got this. You two just hurry up and get out of Central. It's not safe." Roy ordered.

Even though I wasn't part of the military, I still saluted the man with Ed. I kissed Allen's cheek once again, giving him a hug before we left the room just as Sciezka arrived, carrying a bouquet of flowers. Gracia and Elysia were with her.

"Will you two be alright leaving by yourselves?" Breda asked, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Don't you worry; we won't be alone for long. We got Al and Mei waiting for us with Winry."

"Just be careful, please." Fuery asked.

I nodded and touched his shoulder, "Take care and look after Tori. She needs you."

Fuery nodded and I smiled at the teary redhead, who gave me a small smile back. I looked at the crowd waiting outside of the door and smiled, happy to see that my half-brother had so many people who cared about him.

"We should go…" I whispered to Ed, taking his hand and gripping it tight.

He didn't pull away, squeezing it back. "Alright."

I wasn't going to break my promise to my brother. Now things were personal. I couldn't keep hunting around in the dark any longer. We needed answers and we needed them now.

* * *

><p>"There you are, Miss Godric."<p>

"Thank you."

I turned the key into the security deposit box and opened it slowly. Inside were two things. One was a hand-written leather bound journal. The second was a hooded matte green field jacket.

I remembered it from when I was a child.

I lifted it out of the box and brought it to my face, inhaling the rich and spicy scent that used to belong to my father. I pulled it on over my black long-sleeved shirt and smiled, before putting the journal in one of the large pockets. I was finished with the box and I had already gotten the rest of the cens.

Ed was waiting outside the building. He perked up as he saw me. His hands immediately were brushing the shoulders of the jacket.

"This looks old but sturdy."

"It's an old army jacket."

"I like it."

I pulled up the hood on it and turned, "Let's go. I'm getting worried about Al and the others."

"Yeah, I am too."

We hurried down the steps of the bank and hurried in the direction of the train station. I caught a glance of the time on one of the lamp posts as we hurried. The train arrived about fifteen minutes ago. By the time we reached the station, the others would be coming out.

"Ed, c'mon!" I exclaimed, breaking into a jog.

I couldn't bare the thought of them getting hurt because of me.

He matched my pace, looking just as worried as I did. The station was in sight. My jog became a run and Ed was right there by my side. We just reached the entrance when I caught sight of familiar honey hair.

"Alphonse!" I shouted.

Not three but four people stopped. Ed and I reached them, pausing to catch our breath. I felt a touch on my shoulder and I looked up at Winry. She was giving me that familiar smile, one that was reassuring.

"Sergeant Brosh got a hold of us. Is it true, Brother? Is Allen in the hospital?"

"Yeah, but he's fine." Ed replied. "Just a minor gunshot wound. He'll be out of bed in a week."

Mei bit down on her lip as she placed a hand on Xiao Mei's head, "I'm glad he's okay."

"M-Me too." I managed, straightening.

I turned my attention to the forth companion. She was a familiar girl, long brown hair tumbling down her back wearing a teal bandana, blinking large blue eyes as she stood partially behind Winry. She wore a white long-sleeved shirt with teal overalls cut off into shorts with brown knee high boots.

"Oh, hey, Odessa." Ed greeted her. "Been awhile."

She nodded shyly while I looked at them blankly, "Odessa? You guys never mentioned her before."

"We met before though," the girl named Odessa said, "On the train."

It took me a minute, "Oh yeah!"

"Eva, this is my automail apprentice, Odessa Davenport. She's been studying in Rush Valley under Mr. Garfiel. That's why you two haven't met beforehand."

Al nodded, "Mmhm, we've known Odessa since we were little."

"She and I grew closer during Ed and Al's journey."

Odessa smiled, holding out her hand. "Nice to meetcha!"

"It's nice to meet you too," I replied, shaking her hand. "Alright, so… we should probably figure out what we're going to do…"

"Let's get checked into the hotel. Winry and Odessa can do repairs while we discuss our next course of action." Ed replied.

"Right." I nodded.

I walked close to Ed and Winry as we turned to head in the direction of the hotel. So much was going through my mind. More obstacles were progressively getting in the way.

We had to do something. Before someone else dear to us got hurt.

Or worse.

_Ed dies because of me._


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>As I listened to the sounds of my companions in the hotel room, the only thing I could do was lean against the balcony railing, fingers gripping the material of the field jacket.<p>

My thoughts were a thousand places at once. I didn't even react to the sound of fighting coming from the room.

From the sound of things, Mei and Odessa had gotten into it after Alphonse complimented the automail apprentice's work in helping Winry tune-up Ed's automail. I could hear the sounds of tools and shuriken flying through the air, along with alchemy and the Elrics shouting at them to stop.

Yeah, envy was pretty ugly.

_I'm a lucky, lucky girl that I fell for the other Elric instead. Otherwise, I would be dead by automail tools and shuriken lodged into my spleen._

Just the thought made my organs quiver in fear.

_Facepalm!_

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Winry come out onto the terrace. Her blond tresses were left down, being teased in the wind like mine were as she stood beside me, lightly gripping the railing in her hand.

We didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity, before I finally found the will to break the silence. I turned slightly, straightening and turning my attention in the direction of the hospital, where her eyes were staring.

I sensed that Winry was worrying herself the same way I was, about Allen and all that had happened. She had a first hand of feeling like a burden to Ed and Al. She always felt as if they were trying to always shield her.

The same actions they applied when it came to me, only I was directly involved, making the task so much harder for them. I despised being so damn helpless, always depending on Edward. Yet at the same time, I longed for someone to protect me, or at least let me fight by their side.

All my life, I ached for warmth that I couldn't ever encounter in my old life.

Now that I had found it, I was doing everything that I could to keep it from being stolen away from me. I had grown to depend on it, making it so much harder to face the cold, lonely nights where nightmares haunted me. Whereas I used to hate sleeping in the same room as someone else, now I couldn't bare the thought of sleeping alone.

Too many nights had I scrambled into the bed across the room, seeking protection in Ed's arms. Some nights he would hold me, others I just watched him sleep and being close. Even if we weren't touching was enough to satisfy me. His presence, his scent, his warmth seemed to drive the demons back.

"Eva…?"

"Yeah, Win?"

Her hand clenched the railing, "Do you think… you guys are going to be safe…?"

"I can't answer that."

"I-I mean…f-first Ed and you got attacked…you almost got kidnapped…now Allen's in the hospital by being shot by the same people who…who seem to have it out for you…"

"Not to mention they broke into Central HQ and stole my records…"

That was the wrong thing to say.

I turned, blinking as I saw Winry's shoulders shaking. She was crying. Immediately I felt guilt pierce through me, hastily shaking my hands.

"H-Hey! It's alright! I'm sure we'll be just fine!" I quickly rubbed the back of my neck, nervously laughing, trying to think of anyway to put her mind at ease. "I know! What if… I… uh… well, shoot, I'm not sure what I can do…"

I felt the blond latch onto me, pressing me tight against her. Blinking, I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her, holding the barely taller girl against me. I continued to feel her tears, but she wasn't crying as hard.

"Hey, Win, c'mon… I made a promise…" I whispered, "I have a home to get back to…"

"Y-You're going back?"

It sounded as if I broke her heart.

"No! My home is in Resembool… with Granny and you… and Ed and Al…" I pulled back and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

Our roles were reversed this time. Now it was my turn to give Winry the warmth and comfort.

"We're going to solve this, we're going to get Ed's arm and leg back to normal, and we're finally just going to settle down in Resembool."

Her quivering lips formed a smile; "I like how you included yourself on the settling down bit…"

I grinned, "Ed rubs off on me."

She was biting her lip now, shyly glancing up under her lashes with her big blue eyes.

"I've been meaning to ask you about that…"

"Eh? 'Bout what?"

"Edward…"

My body tensed.

Winry was honestly the last person I wanted to discuss Ed with. I didn't have anything against her. It was just…awkward. Yeah, that was it. Intense discomfort especially since there was a small twinge of jealousy.

How could there not be? Ed had been in love with the amazing girl beside me. By fate's decision, Winry and Ed didn't end up together. She ended up with Roy, shortly after I arrived…

My dream came back to mind, of my father and of Van Hohenhiem. I could feel my palms getting clammy. I rubbed them against my pants.

My father had practically given me to Ed. Had he anticipated my feelings for him? How though? It wasn't like my father was a psychic or something. He couldn't possibly have predicted that I would successfully go through the gate to Amestris, meet the Rockbells and the Elrics, and then steadily grow close to Ed over the course of time.

"Evangeline?"

I realized I had zoned out, jolting slightly. I sighed and turned to look down at the Central City streets, at the people and cars in the darkness. This was the one conversation I had hoped to avoid, at least until I had a better understanding about my feelings.

"What about Ed?" I muttered, keeping my eyes fixated down below.

"I-I've just noticed, you two seem closer…" I could see her fidgety movements out of my peripheral vision. "And last time Ed called home, mostly he just talked about you. At first I thought it was because you're his ward and all and because you're traveling together… but the conversations seemed almost too personal…"

"Just what are you getting at?"

I couldn't just ignore the anticipation I was feeling now.

"I think Ed's moving on. I think…I think he may like you."

"Get real, Win. It's _Ed_."

_Whoa. Creepy much. I sound like my brother. Ugh._

"Why do you say it like that?" I heard her tone sharpen and I glanced at her, seeing the mechanic had stiffened beside me. "Ed may act tough and try to keep how he's feeling to himself, but he's not a robot. He cares more than a lot of people do. He's perfectly capable of loving someone besides his brother."

"Yeah. You."

Her cheeks darkened, in embarrassment or anger, I really couldn't tell. Maybe it was both. Either way, I knew I had struck a nerve and regretted it.

"We've been down this road. _**I love Roy**_. Why else would I be getting married to him?"

"Wait, what?" I whipped my head, eyes wide.

She lifted up her hand, an engagement ring set with small rubies and sapphires around a large diamond catching the faint light. I hadn't noticed the ring earlier. She must've taken it off while doing repairs.

"Yeah, I was going to share the good news with everyone at a better time." Winry snapped.

I winced, "Sorry…"

She crossed her arms, "Why can't you see how much Ed really cares about you?"

"Because I'm the type of person that if someone feels a certain way about me, then they need to step forward and tell me themselves. I had trouble believing what other people say about how others are feeling. My mother used to do that all the time when she didn't know anything. It bothers me."

Her eyes softened and all annoyance left her voice, "Then why not just talk to him?"

"Many reasons. I'm inexperienced. I'm seventeen and never had my first kiss. I've never ever really liked someone before until Al… and then Ed. That was confusing."

_Still confusing._

That little voice just had to put its two cents in, didn't it?

_You still have feelings for the other…_

Shut up, stupid little know-it-all voice! I'm not listening! Lalalalala!

Sighing, I gave up my internal argument and gripped the railing tighter.

"Now I'm just now really discovering attraction, infatuations, feelings… being so damn self-conscious when my appearance never mattered to me before… trying so damn hard to be perfect and not wanting to make a fool out of myself… and yet, I struggle because I just want to be myself and have him notice me. I'm so messed up over this. On top of all of my fears… all my insecurities… I'm not like you. I can't just turn my weaknesses into strength."

"No one is asking you to be anyone but yourself, Evangeline."

"Really? My dad is. He expects me to suddenly just embrace this new world and all its troubles and forget my own."

"Isn't that what you've done though? You've embraced this world… the people in it. You care about us as if we've always been in your life."

"…that may be true, but that doesn't change the fact you haven't. I've been here for almost two months. That isn't enough time."

"I don't think time matters anymore."

"It does to me!"

"Things happen for a reason…"

"Not all that appears to be really is,"

I came to a stop as those words left my mouth subconsciously.

_Just what are you trying to tell me, Dad…?_

"The same goes for Edward. He cares about you, more than he'll let on in fear of you getting hurt and having those feelings taken advantage of. A wise man once said, 'until all your enemies are defeated –"

"– everyone you love can be taken hostage and used against you'." I finished with her.

Blue eyes blinked before meeting my grey, "Exactly."

"I'm happy for Roy and you. Congratulations." I then said, looking back down at the street.

"You know, Eva, if you ever need any advice, you can call me."

"Yeah, I know. Just don't like burdening other people."

"Don't think of it as a burden. You've been accepted into our family. You're my little sister now. Besides, who else is going to give you advice when it comes to that hothead?"

I chuckled, "Guess you're right."

The doors opened and Ed stepped out, "What are you two going on about out here?"

"Oh, just girl talk." Winry smirked.

He gave her a dull stare, "For the love of alchemy, please don't be trying to convert Eva. We got enough gearheads as it is." He ducked just as a pair of vice-grips was pitched at his head. Ed then glanced over his shoulder and called, "Your aiming is a bit off, Odess –"

_WHAM!_

He hit the floor as Winry gripped her wrench, "I'm not trying to taint her, you moron! Not that there's anything wrong with being a mechanic, alchemy freak!"

I sweatdropped as Winry stormed inside the hotel room before I knelt down, helping Ed sit up and pulling out the handkerchief Mei had given me. I used it to dab at the blood coming from the goose egg on his head as he grumbled incoherently, looking murderous.

As comical as it was, I noticed the strain between them. They could be somewhat abusive to each other, Winry physically and Ed emotionally.

_Just like brother and sister…_

"Wait until I get my hands on her, that little…"

"Ed, you should try and pick your fights with the creeps after us, not the ones who know how to remove your limbs. And I'm not just speaking about the prosthetic ones."

He crossed his arms and gave a heavy sigh. Patting his back, I helped the alchemist back on his feet. Ed mumbled his thanks before sulking back inside. I decided to head in myself, shutting and locking the door properly, despite the fact there was a less likely possibility of someone coming in through the windows or terrace. We were on like the fourteenth floor of the hotel.

"Mei, do you want to come sleep in our room?" Odessa politely asked.

I think she was doing this to get on Al's good side - he did look up from his text book, eyebrow raised inquisitively at the question for the princess. Even Ed and I looked at Mei, waiting to see how she would react.

Mei hesitated before nodding, "Sure thing, Miss Odessa."

"Please just call me Odessa. I'm not that much younger than you, Mei."

Despite their obvious differences when it came to the poor and somewhat clueless sweetheart reading in the corner, I could see the two of them actually getting along. Granted I hardly knew Odessa, but she was also a sweetheart, if not a little bit temperamental. She reminded me of a docile brunette Winry, though she seemed innocent.

I liked her, though. I hoped I could make friends with her.

"Alright, well we're off to bed."

"Night, ladies." Al smiled sweetly at them.

Mei and Odessa both blushed before they chorused, "Goodnight, Alphonse~" before the two left the room. Winry glared at Ed.

"Be good and keep an eye on her."

"Trust me, any dumbass creeps try coming after her with both of us here, and we're gonna do more than rough 'em up."

There was a rather…sadistic gleam in Edward's eyes as he said those words.

"I'll be fine. Goodnight, Winry."

"Sweet dreams, Eva."

She shut the door behind her. I waited a second before turning to look at the brothers. Al was sitting on one of the two beds, reading happily. I glanced at the cover and saw that it was written in a foreign script that reminded me of kanji characters. Must be Xingese.

"Eva, the bathroom is free and there's plenty of hot water. You should take a bath." Al suggested, not even lifting his eyes.

It was his nice way of stating, _'I need to have some bromance with my bro, you mind vacating for a bit so I can beg him for help in the female department even though it's much more obvious I can handle a relationship way better than my own older brother can?'_

"Good idea," I said, wondering what was wrong with my brain.

Ed was poking around the mini-fridge in the kitchenette, grinning wickedly and lost in his own little world.

I decided to take a bath. I grabbed my bag off the table, withdrawing my nightgown. I sat on the edge of the bed and untied my boots, setting them against the bedside table, before shrugging off my field jacket and pulling off my socks. I took my nightgown with me into the bathroom, frowning as I noticed the lock was busted on the door. Shrugging it off, I then turned to the bathtub, playing with the temperature of the water until it was warm, leaning more toward hot. I poked around the cabinet, grabbing some soap and found some bubble bath.

When was the last time I took a bubble bath? I had to have been young. Maybe ten? I couldn't remember. Shrugging, I decided to just take one. It's not like I had much else to do other than maybe look over that journal.

And it was painfully obvious Alphonse was in some desperate need of one-on-one time with Edward.

As the bathtub began to fill up, I began to twist my hair into a messy bun, stripping off my clothes and folding them neatly. I set them behind the door, hanging my nightgown on the hook on the back of it.

I shut off the water and then stepped into the tub, easing myself into the water and suds until I was almost completely submerged. Everything below my neck was hidden in the soapy waters and I leaned back, closing my eyes and feeling the hot water lapping at my sore muscles. I really hated those train seats, which were uncomfortable as hell.

Roughly fifteen minutes later, I heard footsteps, opening my eyes and cowering slightly into the corner of the bathtub as the door opened. The bathroom was dimly lit, since I had only turned on the far light in the corner due to the slight headache I had. I watched in horror as Ed walked into the bathroom, not even noticing me. He started to rummage through the cabinet, muttering to himself about how paper cuts shouldn't sting even more than a knife wound.

Inwardly, I was panicking like hell. Here I was, naked, with the man I was in love with not even noticing. No one had ever seen me naked before and I really didn't want to start a trend.

I was paralyzed though, the only thing I was capable of doing was crossing my arm over my breasts and keeping my legs drawn close to my chest.

He must've heard the water rippling, abruptly stiffening. Very slowly, Ed closed the cabinet and his face went from pale to dark red the moment he caught sight of me, cowering in the bathtub in the reflection.

"SORRY!"

Ed tried to rush out of the room, but he stubbed his toe against the corner of the counter. He hissed in pain, grasping onto the counter as he doubled over in pain, whacking his left elbow against the porcelain sink. The next thing either of us knew, Ed was slipping of my bar of soap – which had escaped when I wasn't looking – and his backside was hitting the floor.

My body moved before my mind could stop it. I leaned against the edge of the tub, peering over it slowly.

"Ed, are you okay? You didn't bust your head open, did you?"

"I'm f-fine…" Ed groaned and sat up. "My human limbs hurt like hell though."

He covered his eyes with his hand, the other groping along the edge of the sink to try and pull himself back onto his feet. I watched as he wobbled and managed to sit down on the toilet seat. I reached my arm out and snagged the hem of his t-shirt.

"Just sit still for a minute. You whacked your head pretty hard."

"I'll be a-alright…s-sorry to i-intrude…A-Al didn't s-say…"

"Didn't you hear me head in here?"

He shook his head, "I was too busy stuffing my face like a moron."

I sighed, smiling slightly. "You goof."

He continued to shield his eyes, not moving, and his face was very red. Once the initial embarrassment was over and done with, I actually didn't mind the fact Ed was in here with me. He couldn't see anything because of the soapy water anyway.

"Ed, you can uncover your eyes."

"W-What!?"

"Since you're in here, we might as well…talk. Don't worry; you won't go blind or anything."

Very slowly, he peeked through his fingers, seeing that a wall of suds shielded me. He relaxed a bit, though he was still rather tense. I didn't blame him. He was an eighteen-year-old boy. I think the closest thing he had ever seen a girl nude was the one time he had nearly seen Winry change – one of the many embarrassing tales the mechanic had shared with me.

"Talk… about what…?"

I crossed my arms over my stomach as I leaned back against the tub again. "What we're going to do next."

"Oh…" For a split second, I could've sworn slight disappointment crossed his features before he quickly hid it. "True. We never did get the chance. You spent the entire evening on the balcony and I was trying to keep Mei and Odessa from cat-fighting over Al…who is either really oblivious or just a moron."

"I think he's oblivious."

I paused, recalling the night in Dublith a few days ago. He had said my hair was the same color as hers. When I inquired if he meant his mother, he told me no. The only other girl I had met that had my hair color that Al knew was…

"It's her." I breathed, eyes widening.

_Alphonse likes Odessa._

I should've realized it the moment we met outside of the station. She was like their mother and Winry rolled into one, plus she was technically a childhood friend as well.

_He likes her. Not you._

Oh my god, stupid little voice, please just shut up already!~

Who cares if I still have an itty-bitty crush on Al?! I'm in love with his brother, for god's sake!

"Eh? What's her?"

"The girl Al likes, the reason he rejected Mei. It's Odessa."

Ed's eye twitched slightly, "…you're joking, right?"

I shook my head, "No. I'm not. I mean, why not? You told me that Al used to like Winry too. She and Win share some common traits. Not to mention you're both momma's boys, so subconsciously you're going to like girls who remind you of your mother… and Odessa hits the nail on the head." I smiled, "And from what I can tell, Dess likes him back."

"Well…you're right about that. Winry told me that today, when you four were arguing over where to go for dinner."

"I won. Wildforest pancakes." I grinned.

"I love those pancakes,"

I laughed as Ed drooled in thought.

"I'll make some more tomorrow for breakfast."

He clapped his hands together happily, "Yes!"

I shifted in the tub, crossing my arms on the side of it and propping my chin on them. "So do we try and set up the apprentice and your naïve little brother or let nature take its course?"

"Eh, too much trouble to meddle, if ya ask me." Ed replied, crossing his leg and leaning over to inspect his toe. "Dammit, I bruised the nail."

"Is it bleeding?"

"Close to it. I'll have Al look at it."

"So, we'll just hope for the best for Al then." I pressed my mouth against my forearm, looking at the floor for a moment. "So did Winry tell you…?"

"Oh…'bout the engagement…"

The real reason I wanted to talk.

"Yeah, she did…"

I parted my lips and whispered, "Are you okay?"

"Hurts like hell…" he whispered back, remaining hunched over, "But I'm…happy for her. Honest to God or whatever the hell it is… I'm really happy for her and Mustang. I've never seen Winry so happy before. She has her customers in Rush Valley, she's becoming well-known with her automail, her first apprentice is thriving as well and helping carry on her work, she's happy and in love with a guy who – as much as he irritates the living hell outta me – loves her and wants the best for her… I'm just really glad that she's finally getting the life she deserves."

My eyes lifted to his.

He really had grown up from the heartbroken boy I had pieced back together a little over a month ago.

I smiled, and very slowly he smiled back, though it was only a half-smile that lasted a few seconds before he went back to expressionless.

"You know, Ed…you're an amazing guy…" I took a deep breath, "and as much as I adore Win, I know she was foolish to let you go. Any girl would be lucky to have you."

He perked up slightly, "Nah, but thanks anyway, Eva."

"I mean it!" I puffed out my cheeks, "You're truly amazing. You're handsome, smart, skilled, and you're compassionate…"

He rubbed the back of his head, fingers entangling with his loose locks.

"Not to mention, you look really sexy with your hair down…" I tacked on under my breath.

Gold eyes widened slightly and his pink cheeks turned stark red as he stared at me.

_Crap, he heard me!_

Panicking, I did the first thing that came to mind - ducking underwater.

And the award for most awkward teenager in the room goes to… drum roll, please~!

I came up sputtering a second later and – much to my horror and embarrassment – he was still sitting there, gawking at me. Then, very slowly, his lips drew back into a devilish grin, one that made my heart stop and my blood burn. I swear to God, no man should ever look that appealing. It wasn't helping the fact I was a teenager and I had enough trouble as it was trying to keep my misunderstood hormones in check.

_Especially_ around Edward Elric.

"You think I'm sexy?"

"S-Shut up…"

"No way! Who knew Evangeline of all girls actually checked out guys?!"

"Of course I do, I'm not dead!" I snapped, pitching a bottle at his head. He ducked and it clattered into the sink.

"You're a lousy shot."

"So help me God, if I wasn't trapped in this bathtub, I would be strangling you right now."

"You want me to see you naked."

I sputtered in shock, "S-S…S-Screw y-you!"

Cackling, Ed continued to poke fun at me until finally I snatched the towel and got to my feet, holding it to my chest and shielding my nudity as I stepped out, raising my hand to smack him. He caught my wrist and was immediately on his feet, using his speed to his advantage. Ed didn't release my wrist, pressing me close to him, the towel the only thing between us, which I held onto with a death-grip in my other hand pressed to my chest.

I gulped as his fire-dancing eyes stared into mine, his lips locked in a smirk.

"You shouldn't be so trusting…" he whispered, causing me to shiver, "Alphonse isn't here right now. I could do anything to you and no one would know."

I glared at him, calling his bluff. "You wouldn't do it. You're not that kind of person."

"How do you know that? I'm still a guy… I still notice… I may not be girl-crazy or a pervert like the Colonel, but I'm not dead."

Then, he kissed me.

It was quick, a simple peck on the lips.

But it still was a kiss.

_My first kiss._

I jerked back a few seconds later, but he still had a tight grip on my wrist. My chest felt funny. I felt violated and hurt.

"L-Let go, Ed…t-this isn't f-funny anymore…"

The smirk vanished and Ed released my wrist, moving to step back from me. I went to adjust the towel, feeling my feet slipping against the tiled floor.

"E-Ed!" I exclaimed, losing my footing.

In my panic, I latched onto him, the action causing him to hit the floor again. My eyes closed as I waited to hit the floor, but instead I landed on something only slightly softer – Ed's chest.

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my freakin' god!_

I lost my towel.

Holy shit, I was completely naked and pinning _Ed_ to the bathroom floor.

"Dammit…you okay?" Ed grunted, keeping his eyes closed.

"If you open your eyes, I'll kill you!" I hissed, groping for my towel, my knee throbbing from where it had hit the floor.

"Trust me; I happen to like all of my organs intact."

"Good!"

I managed to grab my towel just as there was a knock on the door, "Eva? Have you seen Ed?"

"Al! Don't!" I screeched.

Too late, the door was already opening.

_GODDAMMIT, ALPHONSE!_

"What kind of foreplay is that, Brother?!" Al shouted, grasping my arm and pulling me to my feet, keeping his eyes on Ed as I fixed my towel. "You're low, coming onto Eva while she was in the bath!"

"A-Al! It's not what it looks like! I swear!"

_LIAR! _My mind screeched, _YOU JUST FREAKIN' STOLE MY FIRST KISS WITH ME NAKED, YOU JERK!_

"She's sleeping in my bed tonight!" Al snapped.

I grabbed my nightgown and clothes, hurrying out of the bathroom while the brothers continued their spat. The only thing I could do was hurriedly get dressed before scurrying into the bed, burying myself under the covers and moaning into the mattress.

I had never been so embarrassed before in my life!

"PERVERT!" I heard Al shout before slamming the bathroom door shut. His footsteps were quick across the room before I felt him touch my shoulder, "Evangeline, did Brother try anything?"

"N-No…"

_Why am I lying to cover his sorry ass?_

Right on cue, the little voice had a come back. _Maybe because you liked the fact he kissed you, even if it was just a joke._

"I'm really sorry… he's never done this before…"

Still I continued to protect him.

"W-Was my f-fault…"

We heard Ed leave the bathroom, the sound of the squeaking mattress and the light clicking off. I felt Al climb into bed with me, rubbing my back through the covers while I clenched my eyes shut and buried my face into the pillow. No one said a word.

There was an awkward air all around us. Al was angry and appalled at his brother, Ed was really the victim in the situation (in a sense), and I was too chicken and embarrassed to speak up.

I wasn't sure how long I lied there. Soon I felt the rubbing stop and the sound of Al's soft snores. I didn't hear Ed's though. He was still awake. I peeked under the covers, glancing at the time. It had been almost two hours.

I lifted my head and glanced over at him slowly, lying on the farthest side of his bed from me. Ed had his arms crossed behind his head and was staring at the ceiling. The moonlight cut across his features from the window. He looked so hurt.

I buried my face back into my pillow; trying to ignore it, ignore him and the way he made my heart pound and my mind race.

The way it was impossible to sleep with him so near yet so far away.

I hated it! I hated the fact that I was so vulnerable when it came to him! I couldn't stand how dependent I had become when it came to Ed!

How much I was irrevocably in love with him…

So I lied awake, trying so hard not think of him. But who can decide what they dream? And dream of him I did. I believed in him and I would give up everything just to find him.

I had to be with him. To live, to breathe… He was taking over me.

I clenched my eyes shut tightly. Another hour ticked by. I still couldn't sleep. He didn't sleep either. My stomach was twisting itself into knots and my chest was tight. All I could think of was Ed.

"I'm sorry…"

Time stopped for me as I heard him whisper those words before hearing him rolling over. As I peeked again, I saw his back was to me now in a futile attempt to try and fall asleep. My feet touched the floor first before I slipped under the covers and over the side of the bed, crawling over to the edge of his bed. I felt like I was seven again, trying to sneak into my parents' bed because I was scared and just wanted to be held.

It had been the night after having my first real fight with my mother. She left to go stay at her sister's for the night and I ended up crawling into bed with my father, wondering if he was mad at me for making Mom leave. He kissed my head and cuddled with me and we were finally able to fall back asleep again.

I carefully climbed onto the bed, sitting up on my knees, my legs angled out as I reached my hand out to touch his back. I hesitated, drawing it back and making a fist, pressing it against my mouth. Suddenly, I felt shy and scared.

A heavy sigh cut through the air and I squeaked, tensing as Ed rolled back onto his back. He glanced at me, eyebrow raised and all I could do was lower my eyes to my lap, where my other hand was clutching the hem of my nightgown. Gold eyes rolled before Ed lifted up the covers, motioning with his hand. I practically dived under them, burying my face into his nightshirt and curling against his side. I didn't care about the fact he was in his boxers. All I cared about was the fact he wasn't mad at me. I felt his left arm wrap around me, holding me close.

"You mad…?" I murmured.

"No… you?"

"No…embarrassed mostly…"

"I'm really sorry…"

"I'm sorry Al yelled at you…"

"I'll get him back later." I heard him chuckle softly.

Lifting my head, my slate eyes met his slowly, my cheeks tickling with warmth. He simply stared back, blinking a few times. Before I lost my courage, I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his cheek before I quickly ducked my head down, hiding my face in his shirt again, and fingers clutching it tightly.

Ed didn't move for a good minute, before I felt his other arm wrap around me as he shifted slightly onto his side, and then I felt his lips press against the crown of my head. My breath hitched at the subtle gesture of affection. Then I felt his metal fingers brush against my bare shoulder-blade, brushing my hair back before they trailed up the nape of my neck. I turned my face slightly, trying to fight the shivers I felt from the cold metal on my sensitive, heated flesh. His fingertips reached my jaw-line, gently tilting my chin and forcing me to look at him. Ed didn't say a word, forehead pressing against mine. Just the closeness itself was tender and almost intimate. I had never felt so close to someone before in my entire life like I did in that one moment.

My eyes closed half-mast, breathing in the earthy scent that belonged to Ed.

_I feel so warm, so very safe right now in his arms…_

His fingers trailed back to my jaw, before sliding up and brushing my hair behind my ear and then they threaded around the dark brown strands. I didn't move as he titled his head slightly to the side, leaning in with eyes closing, and then…

Ed's lips pressed against mine.

_T-This is different from before…_

I couldn't breathe or think straight. All I could do was feel his lips brushing against mine, keeping them pressed firmly as the seconds ticked by. My eyes finally closed as I felt his fingers running through my hair, the arm wrapped around my waist pressing me as close as possible. His lips moved against mine, pecking once… twice… before they left mine, leaving them tingling.

I opened my eyes slightly, not uttering a word. I was afraid to speak, that even a small whisper would shatter this surreal moment. Ed was watching me, eyes inspecting me ever so carefully, almost like I was going to disappear right before his eyes. I gripped his shirt a little tighter, a sign that I was still there; that this was in fact real.

His eyes closed again as he pressed his lips to mine once again. Immediately I was kissing back, but still timidly, despite how eager I suddenly felt. I was so scared to ruin this. He twisted his fingers in my hair slightly, forcing me to respond in the kiss. My lips collided with his, much firmer than before. I felt him untangle his fingers from my hair, pressing his hand gently against the back of my head, holding me in place as Ed's lips continued to brush against mine.

There was so much warmth, spreading all the way to the tips of my toes. I felt him pull me on top of him, leaning against the pillows and continuing to press his hand against the back of my head. Both of my hands were now on his chest, fingers lightly gripping the cotton material. Every time our lips parted, they were immediately returning back into another unbalanced kiss. I began to lose count of how many times our lips brushed together.

"Eva…" he murmured, before pressing me even closer.

I could feel my heart pounding, feeling him pressing more eagerly. I had never seen this side of Ed before. Part of me was downright terrified, the stronger part was curious.

The moment I tasted his breath on the tip of my tongue, the panic and nerves struck. I didn't have any experience whatsoever, but something told me…

He tilted his head more, lips parting and tongue hesitantly tracing my lower lip. I took a second before very slowly parting my own lips. Within seconds, Ed had his tongue in my mouth, the strange feeling of it brushing against my own causing me to squirm slightly. My cheeks were warm and I felt a strange throbbing against my inner thigh. All I could do was feel Ed's tongue prodding my own, trying to get me to respond. His hand fisted my nightgown on my hip and my tongue uncertainly wrapped around his.

Soon the foreign feeling was replaced with a strange tingling, this one different from the other. Suddenly, I didn't mind so much that his tongue was exploring my mouth, brushing against the roof of it and dominating it. Ed brushed his fingers across the small of my back as I tilted my head. French-kissing used to freak me out. It was strange at first, especially with trying to figure out how to breathe through my nose so not to become lightheaded. Now I understood why teenagers made-out so much.

It felt…good.

Really good.

I squirmed more and heard a small noise emit from Ed's throat. I tried the action again, resulting in a much louder sound. It sounded almost like a growl. His kiss was becoming harder, pressing me tighter against him. I released a strange noise myself.

_Did I just… moan?_

My face was burning hotly, but I was unable to break free from the kiss. It was addicting. My heart was beginning to race and all I could think about was the way Ed tasted and how intoxicating his scent was, the way I felt in his arms.

I couldn't even bring myself to question why we were suddenly making-out.

My palm pressed over his heart, feeling it racing just as fast as mine was. It felt like my blood was on fire. I clutched his shirt tighter in my fists, my mind whirling. I couldn't bring myself to break the kiss.

Suddenly, Ed froze. I heard the creaking of the bed and the sound of Al in the other bed. I had _completely_ forgotten about him. Ed's tongue retreated and I felt his lips press against mine one last time, before he completely drew back.

I bit down on my lip, which was kiss-swollen and glanced over, paranoid. I waited for Ed to shove me away, to pretend like nothing happened, but he kept me pressed against him, still fisting my nightgown under the covers.

We watched as Al rolled over once and then back over again before becoming still. He sometimes was a restless sleeper, depending on his dream state. After a few seconds, Ed and I looked back at each other. He was grinning at me, and I shyly returned the smile, still pink in the face. Wordlessly, Ed rolled us back onto our sides, tucking my head under his chin and holding me tight. After a few seconds, I felt his breathing change from heavy to light, signaling he had finally drifted off to sleep. Biting my lip, I closed my eyes as well.

This was one night I could never forget.

Now the only question was would it be a memory to cherish or one that would haunt me.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Too soon were the pleasant dreams and warmth taken from me.<p>

I felt cold and slowly stirred, finding that Ed wasn't in bed with me. Immediately I shot up, watching as he was hastily moving to pack, trying to keep as quiet as possible with Al working him. I went to open my mouth, but Al silenced me by placing a finger to his lips.

I could hear the heavy footsteps, the sounds of doors being kicked in. The room was shaking from the stampedes above and below. Wordlessly, Ed tossed me my bag. I caught it and stripped, not even caring at this point.

Something told me we had to move and quickly.

I tugged on my white pants and black shirt, hastily tugging on my boots and tying them hastily. I climbed onto my knees and shrugged on the field jacket, brushing my dark tresses and tying them back into a ponytail. My balled up nightgown was shoved into the bag, which I slung over my shoulder.

Ed indicated to the balcony. I scrambled across to the other bed, easing myself onto the floor. We heard booming voices next door and Winry's incoherent voice while Odessa and Mei screamed. We were running out of time. The word "Elrics" and my name came up. Al unlocked the door and we hastily went out the balcony. We stood there in the cold November air, snow flying through the air. Ed took the sheets tied together and transmuted them into a rope, tying it to the balcony securely. There was enough to drop us safely down below.

"Eva, go first." Al whispered.

I nodded and swung my leg over the railing, gripping the rope tightly in my gloved hands before I gripped it between my knees, beginning to ease myself down. I clenched my eyes shut tightly as it swayed, very frightened with the fear of falling plaguing me. I repeated the words 'don't look down' until they were practically a chant. I glanced up and saw that Al was just above me. I could hear Ed confronting someone above.

A small gasp of fright escaped me as I felt the rope slip between my hands. I jerked my head up and saw that Ed was standing on the ledge, braid dancing in the wind. My heart stopped momentarily as he jumped in the air to avoid a blow, landing gracefully back on the ledge, perched like a cat.

I felt myself slipping again. No matter how tightly I grasped at the rope, it continued to slip from my grasp. I clutched it for dear life, trying so hard not to fall.

I could hear the sound of straining and I opened my eyes, slowly looking up and found what I feared. The rope was beginning to snap from the weight. Bronze eyes frantically locked on mine a second later, his sweet face holding a foreboding expression, his lips forming the word "no" as he shook his head.

"Eva, don't!" Al finally shouted.

"Sorry…" I whispered.

My hands released the rope.

* * *

><p>I remember the sensations I felt while falling.<p>

How cold the air was that rushed rapidly in my ears, the rain that came from my eyes rather than the ominous dark clouds swirling above Central, hearing Roy's voice in my head - how he had been right that Central wasn't safe. I could remember feeling gravity pulling me rapidly, yet as I fell it seemed like an entire lifetime flashed by me within seconds. There was a heart-wrenching sound – a scream. It had been my name mixed with a howl of complete agony.

A sound that seemed to echo endlessly in my mind, which was blank, other than one thought.

The thoughts that came to me in that moment, one where I was surely going to die, weren't of my life. They weren't of desires or dreams that were shattered.

They were of Ed.

The only regret I had was I never told him how I felt, how much he truly meant to me.

The falling stopped and I assumed so did my life. Only a black void didn't swallow me up. No, everything was white, as pristine as the first snowfall.

"_So we meet again, Evangeline Godric_."

"Who are you?" I demanded to the grinning _being_ before me.

"_I'm glad you asked! I am what you would call truth…the universe…God… and I am you_."

I was standing face-to-face with myself before I heard the creaking of heavy doors opening. I felt strong bonds on my arms and legs, wrapping around my torso. I screamed as I fought against them, struggling.

"NO!"

"_What toll are you going to pay this time to go back through the gateway? Your brother's other limbs? Perhaps the heart of the boy you're so fond of? Or maybe…_"

My struggles ceased as I saw the after-image of my father.

"_The life of your precious father, the one who risked it all just to bring you here? Is that what you want, to turn your back and pay the price to go back to your mundane life, where you could dwell, content in your loneliness and self-pity?_"

My teeth ground and I dug my heels in, refusing to be pulled back any further. The hands tried to force me back, but my will was as strong as steel. I wasn't going anywhere just yet.

Right here, in this realm of Truth or whatever it was, I had an epiphany. One that shattered the barriers around me, breaking the chains of fate trying to encage me and do its bidding. I had more to live for than just myself. I had Amestris to live for and all of her people and all of the good things that needed protection. Enough talking, enough with telling myself that I was finally going to grow up and deal with the hand life dealt me.

Not anymore.

Now… now it was finally my turn. My turn to take a stand and finally face back the demons.

"I'm not going back to Earth. The only place I'm going is back to Amestris and back into the arms of the people who need and love me. I'm done with only them doing the sacrificing and paying the price so I can live! I'm finally going to pay my own!"

That grin seemed to broaden, "_Finally waking up I see. Good. This should be interesting. Now, the toll…?_"

"Equivalent Exchange… sorry, but I'm not an alchemist. You can't take from me anymore. This toll's already been paid for."

I felt the bonds cease their tugging, if only for a moment.

It was then that I finally recognized that _voice_, that sneering tone. The same voice in the back of my mind, constantly reminding me of my insecurities and weakness, forcing me to focus on what I couldn't do rather than what I could.

"_To go head-to-head with Truth and be able to see the truth behind truth… most impressive. Perhaps not all hope is lost when it comes to you, Messenger._"

I stopped struggling and allowed myself to be pulled back into the darkness. Darkness didn't scare me. It shielded me, embraced me and protected me against the demons disguised within light itself. Darkness was my comfort.

It would take me home…

* * *

><p>"Eva…? Hey… please…you gotta wake up…Evangeline!"<p>

_Ed…ward…?_

My eyes fluttered open, and the world was coming in and out of focus. My entire body throbbed and ached. Gritting my teeth, I forced my fingers and toes to move.

Alright, I could still feel. That was a good sign. I hadn't broken my back and paralyzed myself, though my back felt like it had been slammed into repeatedly. I couldn't even sit up without convulsions of agony sweeping over me. I managed though, not even crying out. The pain didn't bother me. In fact, all it really accomplished was ticking me off.

I brought my hand to the nape of my stiff neck, turning my head and popping it. It hurt like hell, but the stiffness left. I lifted my head to see that I was in the bed of a truck and I felt sturdy automail against my back and a warm hand on my face, which throbbed and felt tender.

"You idiot…" Ed hissed, though his eyes showed they were more relieved than angry. "Why the hell did you let go of the rope? You're lucky you only crashed through those flower stands and landed in that cart, otherwise you could've died!"

"How long have I been out?" I grunted, holding out my arms and rotating them, feeling my shoulders pop.

Al spoke up from my left, "It's been almost three hours." I turned and saw he was sitting on my other side, hugging his knees and looking deathly worried.

"Do you…remember anything?"

"Yeah, Truth trying to rip me off. You know how arrogant that _thing_ can be? It's aggravating as hell."

"Wait a second, you saw Truth?!"

"Yeah. He…she… _it_ tried to make me pay a toll to go back to Earth. I basically told it to shut the hell up and send me back here, free of charge."

"Idiot…idiot…Idiot!"

Ed punched the bed of the truck before I felt him burying his forehead against my shoulder. Wordlessly, I brought my right hand to the back of his head; just pressing it there while my other supported me. Slate eyes locked on Alphonse and he gave a weak smile.

"Sorry for scaring you guys."

"Idiot…" was all Ed mumbled in reply.

"Just promise you won't ever do something stupid like that ever again." Al said softly.

"Alright, I promise." I paused, "What happened to the girls?"

"They're safe. We parted with them just on the outskirts of the city. Mei's going to get them safely to Rush Valley before she heads to Youswell and heads back to Xing. I told her it's best to get out now."

"And the others?"

"They got Allen released from the hospital and are taking him to Dr. Marcoh. He'll keep a close eye on him and make sure he'll make a good recovery without him being jeopardized."

"Good… so what I'm trying to figure out is how those researchers got so many people working with them. They sounded like they were a small army."

"They practically were, and they don't mess around. They nearly hurt Brother right after you fell."

Ed lifted his head and glowered at his younger brother, "I would've turned them into mince meat if you hadn't of stopped me, Al."

"Because we don't kill, Brother."

"Who says anything about killing? You can live as mince meat."

"Uh-huh," Al rolled his eyes before he rapped his knuckles on the window of the truck, "Hey, how much further mister? I want to get her checked into a clinic."

"I don't need a clinic!" I exclaimed, jerking slightly.

Next thing I knew, I was clutching my ribcage and fighting back crying in pain. Bronze and topaz eyes locked on me, glaring fiercely and I grumbled swear words under my breath.

"Just about fifteen more minutes before we reach Resembool." the driver said. "Don'tcha worry, Missy, you're gonna be jus' fine. I advise against ya thrashin' around though. Don't want your ribs puncturin' any vital organs!"

_Dammit, my ribs are busted… Fuck._

Okay, they were right. No more reckless acts of self-sacrifice. All I was gonna do was put more problems on the two of them and that was the last thing we needed.

I brought my fingertips to my face, hissing.

"Be careful, you got a gash and bruising." Al warned me. "I tried to clean up the blood as best as I could. At least it stopped bleeding, but it looks pretty nasty. Last thing you want is for it to get infected and scar over."

"So what if it scars? It's just my face. I wouldn't really care."

Ed tightened his hold slightly from where he was sitting beside me, "I would."

"You're not really vain enough to care about my looks, are you?"

"Don't get Brother wrong," I glanced at Al, who was smiling. "We don't care about what you look like, but you're a beautiful girl… gorgeous even… and you don't want scars."

I had scars, ones they hadn't seen. Wordlessly, I pulled my leg up and jerked off my boots, before tugging up my pants legs to mid-calf. Neither spoke as their eyes took in the scars - dark, red and angry that marred the white skin, standing out horrendously. They were the one aspect of my body I was self-conscious about the most.

I didn't care about my weight or my bust being a little on the small side. Those scars were the only thing that ever truly made me feel unappealing to others.

"How'd it happen?" Ed asked, his tone low.

"Lab accident when I was thirteen. I startled my father and he accidentally knocked over some chemicals he had been working on. The glass cut my legs and I got a few chemical burns as well. Lucky for me, I was wearing socks at the time, but… still…"

"I don't think they're ugly. I don't think they're pretty either. I think they're just signs that you've been through a different fight than we have. I have scarring. You've seen it. When I get my arm and leg back, those scars won't just go away."

My hands worked quickly as I pulled back on my boots and laced them. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better, guys."

I met Ed's eyes, but only for a second. I couldn't dare to bring myself to ask about last night, especially in front of Al. Something told me that now was not the time for this. In time, I would find my answers as to why Ed did the things that he had.

I turned my attention to the passing landscape. The truck had to stop and let some sheep cross the road. We were just down the road from the Rockbells'. I could see my grandparent's cottage, nestled in the familiar grove of trees, the axe left in the log with unfinished firewood stacked beside it.

_Wait a sec…_

Dread hit me.

"Stop the truck…hey, mister, I said stop!"

I beat on the window before hastily scrambling to the side, ignoring the pain and the sharp intakes of breath I had to take. The tires screeched as he hit the brakes, giving me enough time to hop over the side. I then hurried across the bridge and slowed as I approached the porch. The screen door was banging lightly against the wall, the front door slightly ajar. There weren't any signs of Rowena or Rand.

"You idiot, stop acting without thinking!"

Ed jerked me around by my shoulder, but froze as he went to lecture me. His eyes seemed to notice the ominous and dreadful signs that I had spotted, saving me from the lecture. He silently released my shoulder, reaching to take my hand, but Al already had a death grip on it, tugging me closer to the porch. I caught a glimpse of Ed's expression – him looking like he wanted nothing more than to pry Al away from me – before I focused my attention back on much more important matters.

Our footsteps were slow and hesitant across the creaking old wood of the porch. Al reached the door frame and used his foot to open the door the rest of the way. It creaked loudly and we slowly peered inside. Al released my hand and moved in first, quickly checking the cottage.

"It's all clear."

"Any signs of a struggle?"

"No, looks like signs of them hastily leaving and someone else rooting around though."

I could feel my knees turning to rubber, almost sinking to them in relief. I grabbed onto the table to keep myself upright, fisting the material of my pants again. All it did was make me think of that senile old man, my stranger of a grandfather, who – despite the fact annoyed me and make me question myself – had wormed his way into my heart just as easily as his sweet, kindred wife had.

"I'm pretty sure they're alright. Granny should know who the Godrics are close to friend-wise. She'll know where they're most likely hiding out. Gotta hand it to 'em, they didn't let anyone get the jump on 'em. Senile that old man may be, but he definitely _is_ your grandpa."

Ed's words were meant to be reassuring, and they were to a degree. Nodding, I took a deep breath to try and calm my nerves, the pain from my ribs causing my body to tremble.

"Eva, you really need to see a doctor…" Al said, looking worried as he reached a hand out toward me.

"Jus'…get me to the house…and call the doctor in town…"

That was all I managed to get out before my knees finally gave out and I nearly hit the floor. Both brothers swooped in and caught me, pulling my arms around their shoulders as they tried to help me walk. My vision was starting to cut in and out again as we walked. Slowly, we managed to get up the hill. I heard barking and Ed hiss at Den to stop. I felt a cold nose and a lick against the skin of my stomach, from where my shirt had risen. I gave a weak laugh.

"Hey, Den…"

"I expected to find _you_ in pieces, Ed." Pinako remarked from the porch, taking her pipe out of her mouth, "Quickly now, get her inside. I've already phoned for a doctor."

"Can't you look at her, Granny?" Al almost whimpered.

"I'm an automail and prosthetics engineer, not a doctor like my late son and his wife."

"Right," Ed murmured. "Auntie Sara and Uncle Urey would've known exactly what to do…"

I blinked at the names, "Winry's parents? The ones who were killed in Ishval?"

"Yeah…"

I didn't say anything more. Just how many loved ones had these brothers lost? In the end, I had only lost my other grandparents and my father. In comparison to how many people Ed and Al lost, my grief was nothing.

They managed to get me to the couch, unable to dare face the staircase in fear of damaging my ribs further. I allowed Al to take off my jacket, watching as he removed the black chromed pocket watch and the old journal from the pockets. He put the jacket on the back of a chair, resting the watch on top of the journal.

"Actually, Alphonse, do me a favor. Go ahead…and unseal the watch and take the journal. You'll have a much better understanding of whatever's written inside it."

"What do you mean by unseal the watch?" Ed demanded.

"It's sealed with alchemy. I just never really thought about unsealing it until now."

Al took the watch and journal and went into the kitchen. I kept my eyes lowered, lying on the couch, not saying a word now that Ed and I were alone. Only when I felt his fingers brush against my cheek did I lift my gaze. His lips formed no words, but his eyes were saying a thousand at once. He looked so worried and it was painful. I couldn't stop thinking about the fight we had on our way to Dublith. I never once apologized for the words I had spoken.

"Ed…I'm sorry…" I said.

He gripped my hand between his, "What for?"

"Everything. Anything I've ever done that's ever caused you to worry or made you mad and…and just by being so selfish."

"Eva, you haven't been selfish…"

"Really, Ed? Really? How can you look at me and lie to my face like that? I have been. All I've really cared about is myself, and how betrayed and hurt I felt by my father for jerking me around. I was too busy whining and saying I was going to do things rather than taking action. All I've been doing is wasting your time and trying to be somebody I'm not… instead of just being honest with myself and accepting the changes."

"You've changed a lot since we met. I've noticed. You're…not a kid anymore. The changes haven't just been emotional, mental or even maturity… it's physically too."

"Physically?"

He nodded, "When was the last time you looked in the mirror and saw just how stunning you are? You're not cute anymore. You're much more than that."

I shifted my eyes away from his again, closing them halfway before daring to whisper, "Is that…why you kissed me last night…?"

Hesitation wrapped around him before he opened his mouth, "No…"

"Then why did you kiss me, Ed? Was it one of those spur of the moment, realizing we could die at any moment and you just needed the physical comfort sorta deals? Is that what it was?" I didn't want to get upset but all I could do was lay there, trying to sort through this. I didn't like the way I felt used. "Did you just do it because I was right there and it was one of your impulsive decisions?"

"Of course not! I would never use you like that!"

"That's not what you implied in the bathroom…"

He groaned, raking his fingers through his bangs. "I was trying to prove a point with that. You're too damn trusting, whether you think you are or not. I wasn't trying to put doubts in your mind when it comes to me."

I sat up, not caring how much pain I went through to do so.

"Then why, Edward. Tell me why."

"Because…because…because I like you, okay?!"

"You like me," I replied dryly.

His golden eyes flickered, "More than I should…" he looked down, looking almost like a frightened little boy.

"How so? Just what am I to you, Ed?"

"The girl I never want to lose. The girl who makes me smile even when I'm pissed off or sad. The person I can always turn around and see walking right behind me. Someone who gives me a reason to keep moving forward instead of turning back again. A reason to keep hoping…"

"Hoping for what…?"

"That maybe – just maybe – God doesn't hate me and that I'll have a chance at being able to…to just love somebody other than Al… okay…?"

It was taking a lot for Ed to confess these things to me, to be as honest as possible. His pride was exposed and I could see how uncomfortable Ed was. He was even blushing and fidgeting like a schoolboy. The only thing I could do was lean in and kiss him. Not a passionate kiss that made the world disappear and mend the scars on our tarnished hearts, but a soft kiss that let him know that I understood and I felt the same way.

He brushed his fingertips against his lips after I pulled back, slowly raising his gaze back to my own before he gave a small smile. I didn't say anything more or press the subject. For some reason, the word 'boyfriend' and Ed didn't seem right at the moment.

Maybe it was the pain in my ribs. It was getting hard to focus.

"You should lie back down. The doctor should be here soon."

Nodding, I did as he said, fighting to keep my eyes open. I felt his hand brush my bangs out of my face and then watched as he stood up to go answer the door, before sleep finally took over.

_No more running._

It was time to stand and fight.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Wintertime used to be one of my favorite times of the year. Now, all it really did was drive me crazy.<p>

We were lying low in Resembool – I was stuck in bed letting my ribs heal along with the whiplash I suffered from because of my little stunt in Central. Meanwhile, Ed and Al were working day and night to decipher the alchemy notes that my father had written in the journal.

I sat in my bed in the guest room, absently clicking my pocket watch open and closing it over and over, listening to it tick. Snow was glistening outside the window, covering the village and the forest. The river had even frozen completely. According to Pinako, this was one of the harshest blizzards that Resembool had ever experienced. Sighing, I closed the watch for the last time, just gripping it in my hands tightly.

Inside had been something I hadn't expected. Something that horrified me to no end – a small Philosopher's Stone. Al had unsealed the watch for me, but the Elrics had given me the privacy to open it by myself.

Over the course of the month, I couldn't bring myself to confide in either one of them about the stone. I kept it hidden under the floorboards, in the small metal box along with the photograph of my father and Allen's mother and godmother.

A way to restore Ed's body back to normal, right beneath my feet, and I couldn't bring myself to use it. They would detest me for using such a thing. The stone had been made using human life. I heard all the stories of their journey to find the stone.

No, I refused to put them through that emotional hell again. There had to be a way for Ed to get his arm and leg back. Why else did the Brothers go and travel all across the world to study alchemy and alkahestry? I wasn't going to let all that time and effort go to waste. As soon as I could, I'd find a way to rid myself of the stone.

I wanted to hate my father for putting that kind of power into my hands. I wasn't an alchemist, so there wasn't any way I could use the stone myself, even if I wanted to.

I couldn't hate him though. My father was a scientist. His way of thinking was strictly scientific and analytical, not really emotional.

_He left it behind, for me, because he knew I wouldn't use it…_

There was a knock on the door. I called out to whomever it may be, watching the door open to reveal Alphonse. He looked warm and comfortable in a dark green sweater and a pair of khakis, slight evidence that he had been out in the snow from the way his side-parted bangs clung to his forehead, darkened and damp.

"Eva, I've brought you some lunch."

"Thanks, Al, but I could've gone down and gotten it myself."

He waved it off, setting the tray on the bedside table, perching himself on the edge of the bed. He reached over, peeling back the bandage to inspect the gash on my cheek, which was steadily healing. Because of proper treatment, it shouldn't scar too badly. By the time it was completely healed, it would be just a pink line across my cheekbone. After he replaced the bandage and treated it, Al gestured to my pale pink sweater – one that used to belong to Winry – that I lifted so he could check my ribs. They had almost completely healed.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Restless. I want out of this bed." I squirmed a bit, "Where's Ed?"

"I'm not really sure. I haven't seen him." Al stood up, moving the tray to my lap. "You should eat before it gets cold."

I thanked him again and watched as he went to leave, "Any word from Winry and Odessa?"

"I talked to Odessa this morning. They're doing well. Just worried about us."

"Did you tell them we're fine?" I demanded.

"Of course I did!" Al laughed, "Now would you eat already?"

"Fine…" I unenthusiastically picked up my spoon and began to eat the tomato soup.

Satisfied that I was eating, Al gave me one last smile before jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, letting me know that he was going to in his room, compiling some more research. He was very excited over some leads he had found in Xing. Day by day, step by step, little by little, Alphonse was convinced he was on the path to restoring his brother's body back to its original state.

I had high hopes for Al, and as much as I wanted to completely show my enthusiasm and support, I just couldn't. My focus lied on the people who had shot my brother, had invaded our hotel and traumatized Winry, Mei, and Odessa. The research my father left behind and my part to play in saving this country. All signs kept pointing in a direction I myself never expected to get caught up in.

Roy Mustang becoming Führer.

Grumman would need to step down and Roy had to take that position, somehow. He had loyal subordinates, doing anything and everything to push him to the top. He had the support, loyalty, and love of Winry Rockbell to fuel his fire. If nothing more, he wanted to make this country safe for his soon-to-be-bride.

They were to be wed on February 14th. Granted, they didn't know the significance of this date, since they didn't have holidays such as Christmas and Valentine's Day here, but I thought it was ironic and – despite the fact I found it somewhat cliché – actually very sweet.

I had been surprised when Winry called, asking me to be a bridesmaid, along with Odessa, Mei, Sciezka, and Lanfan. Roy's best man was Havoc and Winry's maid of honor was Hawkeye. Ed and Al were groomsmen, along with Allen and Breda. Fuery was to be the ring-bearer. Elysia was going to be the flower girl.

All of our friends were invited to the small wedding in the East, in the very backyard of the house on the hill that I stood in. I couldn't wait, but it was hard to focus on something so positive with so much chaos falling all around us. I put on my best smile – fake and plastic it may be – but it was for Winry's sake.

"Eva, I'm going with Granny into town to get some more supplies just incase the pipes freeze again and the electricity goes out!" Al shouted from downstairs.

"Alright!" I hollered back.

"If you see Ed, let him know!"

"Okay!"

"And stay inside! I don't want you getting sick!"

I laughed. I didn't respond to Al's last order. I couldn't promise to stay put. I was getting cabin fever, trapped inside all the damn time. I couldn't even step onto the porch without Pinako or Al harping at me to get my ass back inside before I got ammonia.

Once the soup and sandwiches were eaten, I put the tray back on the bedside table. I squirmed in my bed, trying to get comfortable, ignoring the minor pain from my torso with every sharp jerk and twist. My fingers dug into the mattress, hands gripping the sheets before I suddenly threw them off, springing to my feet. I grabbed my boots and put them on, shuffling over to the closet and pulling on my field jacket over my sweater, pulling on an old black cap and some gloves.

Slowly, I opened my door and listened for any sounds. I could hear Den sleeping in the living room. The coast was clear.

I moved quickly, much more stealthily than I could've three weeks ago. I barely made a sound on the steps. As appalled as I would've been six months ago, I was actually grateful Ed still could throw a punch at me. His self-defense was doing wonders. I had some strength now.

Sure, I could probably still be taken down by a group of five-year-olds if they attacked as one, but I could now face someone without being a pushover. It hadn't just been Ed's teaching – Teacher had taught me a few things, only they were more emotional.

She taught me that women, even an ordinary housewife, could be strong and voice their thoughts. That we were to take the back seat to no one. If we were to fight, it was to be for what we thought was right.

Izumi taught me things in two days that my mother never once tried to teach me in nine years.

I walked through the kitchen and slipped out the backdoor, walking through the snow. I didn't really have a destination in mind. So my feet just kept moving forward. I looked around, just taking in the beauty and serenity of this quaint village of the East.

I had really grown to love Resembool. No matter how far Ed and I had traveled, Resembool was the only place that felt like home to me. I adored Dublith and Liore, I even liked Central, but… there was just something about this place.

I wanted to stay in Resembool, once everything was settled. Maybe buy some land and build a house. Yeah, a quaint little house with a swing in the yard, maybe even a garden… a hedge maze…

As I stood there, picturing the house I'd one day want to live in, my house suddenly was a lot livelier than it would be with just me. I could see myself, older, maybe by about ten years, sitting on that swing and reading a book. And there was giggling in the air. Golden locks and big eyes, as bright and adventure-seeking as…

I saw a child.

Not just any child.

Ed's child.

_THWACK!_

"OW!" I shouted, clutching the back of my head.

I whirled around and glared. That snowball hadn't just come out of no where. I wasn't under any trees so the snow couldn't have dropped from above.

_THWACK! THWACK!_

Two more struck me, one from behind, the other my shoulder. I ducked down and armed myself, whirling to the right and hitting my attacker square in the face as he popped up from a snow bank on my right. Stunned, it took all of five seconds for Edward to fall backwards. I grabbed another snowball, ready and aiming for his crotch when he quickly waved his glove in surrender from a stick.

_Should I buy it?_

Guess I'd give him the benefit of the doubt… just this once.

"What the heck, Ed? You do realize I'm still recovering, right?"

"With that throw you just gave, your ribs have gotta be healed. That hurt." Ed rubbed his nose, his face pink from the icy air. Once he was done making sure I hadn't broken it, he gave a wild grin and hopped back to his feet. "Al's not going to be too happy when he learns you've been out of bed~" he sang.

"Al won't be back for another three hours~" I sang back, turning on my heel, walking away with my hands behind my back.

"H-Hey! D-Don't leave me!"

I smirked and kept walking forward, eyes closed partway. I kept my gaze on my foot prints in the snow. I focused on trying to walk in the footprints of those who had gone down the road before me. Ed caught up to me, arms crossed behind his head, which had a dark red snow cap on it, matching his dark red hoodie he was wearing over a thick black sweater, thick black pants, and his boots with red trim. As he hurried to get in front of me, I caught a glimpse of his trademark insignia on the back before he turned, walking backwards and giving me a typical Ed grin.

"What do you want?" I sighed, though the corner of my mouth lifted into a half-smile.

"Snowball fight?"

"We had one and I beat you."

"Nu-uh! That wasn't a fight! Besides, you only threw one snowball!"

"One was all it took to knock you off your high horse!" I replied, trying hard not to grin.

He made a face at that and I continued to walk forward, trying to remain nonchalant. This was the most normal conversation he and I had ever shared. I felt like I teenager for the first time in awhile.

That was sad to say, since I _was_ a teenager. I had gotten so used to trying to act like an adult; I had forgotten that I was still a kid in the eyes of this world. The thought made me laugh, and I noticed a golden brow rose quizzically.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a thought." I replied.

"So what encouraged you to escape Dr. Alphonse's Clinic?"

"…the clinic itself?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, but seriously."

"The snow," I admitted. "Dad and I used to make a snowman whenever there was enough snow on the ground every winter. I remember one year, Uncle Jesse and I teamed up against him in a snowball war. Dunno how, but he managed to defeat us both."

"Sounds like you were close."

"We were…" I sighed, "I miss Uncle Jesse."

"Is he your mom's brother?"

"Hell no. He was my father's best friend and lab assistant. He's the one who looked after me after Dad died."

"You told me that." Ed scratched his cheek, "I mean, he sounded pretty cool, other than letting you walk home from work at night."

"I refused to learn how to drive." I grimaced, "I had my bike most nights."

"Don't care. Still stupid."

I rolled my eyes, "Let's not have this discussion again."

"Or what?"

"I'll just have to prove to you I can take care of myself!"

"I'd like to see you tr – oof!"

I cackled as Ed hit the snow from where I tackled him. Gold eyes locked on my grey and suddenly the world shifted. I screamed as Ed pinned me to the snow, his hands quickly slipping snow down the back of my coat in the process.

We tumbled down the snowy slope, snow flying, and fingers tickling any vulnerable places they could reach. I latched onto him as we started to roll faster, unable to stop. My back finally hit the soft padding of the snow, just lying there, gasping for air from the laughter and shrieking, my lungs burning from the icy air.

I felt fingers brush against my gloved ones, turning my head to see that Ed was lying beside me, only a couple feet away. His fingers clasped around mine slowly, before I slid a little closer, fingers lacing.

_I should be playing in the winter snow, but I can't stop staring at your face…_

"You're smiling," he whispered.

"You're grinning like a big dork," I giggled back.

"Can't help but grin. This is the most fun I've had in awhile. I can't remember the last time I played in the snow like this!"

"Bet it was when Al, Win, and you were just kids."

Ed blinked and frowned, "No…wait…I do remember."

"Hmm?"

"It was with Al…and…Nina…"

_Nina…?_

There was a sorrow in his eyes I had never seen before. Suddenly Ed closed his eyes, his other hand covering them. I sat up on my side, still gripping his hand.

"Ed…who is Nina?"

"A little girl that Al and I couldn't save. She was only four…when her own father… turned her into a chimera… fusing her with their dog."

"I-I'm so sorry…"

Awkwardly, I wrapped my free arm around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. Ed removed his hand, wrapping his arm around me. Our entwined hands rested on my thigh as we lay there in the snow.

"Thanks… needed that…" he murmured.

My eyes were closed half-mast, just listening to his heartbeat. "I really am sorry, Ed…"

"We're just…tiny insignificant humans who couldn't even save a little girl… we're not gods… and we sinned, crossing into God's territory… that's why I have to find a way to right my wrongs…"

"You're gonna find it, Edward, I believe in you."

"You're such a sweet girl, Eva…"

"No, I just care too much." I gave a weak smile, looking up at him. "Especially when it comes to you."

He had that look in his eyes, one I hadn't seen since that night. He freed his hand from mine, using his teeth to pull of his glove. I shivered as he brushed his warm fingers against my cold cheek, just watching him and the way his lips formed a small tender smile.

It happened like before, only this time I was prepared. His bangs tickled my face as his lips pressed against mine, warm and soft, yet firm and seeking. I wrapped my free arm around his neck, feeling the way he pressed against me, carefully resting his weight on me.

I expected him to deepen the kiss like last time, but instead he withdrew. His lips remained centimeters from my own as our eyes fluttered open, gold staring into gray for a long moment, before he finally spoke.

"Eva…I'm in love with you…"

It was all I could do to remember how to draw breath, "You…are…?"

"I believe I am… and I'm not going to let you go. You…you're the one I want to always turn around and see smiling. Not only that… you're the girl that I'm always thinking about… always on my mind… in my dreams…"

I couldn't believe this was real; that Ed was confessing his love to me. I touched his cheek, stroking it with my thumb. All I could do was grin, feeling warmth spreading throughout my entire body.

"Will you be mine?" I whispered.

"Silly, I am yours." Ed rubbed his nose against mine.

"You know that I-I…I l-love you too, r-right?"

He paused and nodded, "I could tell."

"W-What?!" I squeaked, feeling my face burning.

"Calm down! It was recent. Th…the night we kissed…"

"Oh, so now you acknowledge that." I teased.

"I always did…"

"Eh, kinda sorta."

"Eva, stop making this hard on me…"

"I gotta, it's _you_. If I don't poke fun at you, you're gonna let your ego inflate over the fact that I'm irrevocably in love with you and have been…since…" My eyes widened as the second epiphany hit, "Since the day you confronted me… at the swing…"

All this time, I had been in love with Ed, and hadn't even known it.

"Well, we're gonna make the most of what time we got… and no one's going to interfere…"

Nodding, I snuggled against his chest, trying to keep my teeth from chattering. "C-Can we h-head home?"

"Sure thing. Need me to carry you?"

"Yeah, my bad knee's acting up…"

"Gotcha."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, burrowing my face into the crook of it as Ed carrying me back to the house, just inhaling his scent, feeling so happy, like I was floating.

_He…loves me… he wants to be with me…_

No more regrets. Now I had a new reason to keep fighting. I was going to keep Ed safe.

The distant image of child with golden locks and bright eyes came back to mind as I tightened my hold on Ed.

_I will have that future…_

It's all I ever wanted.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

Warning: Uped the rating from T for Teen to M for Mature. This chapter contains sexual content. You have been warned. Read at your own risk.

* * *

><p>December came to its end, with the snow refusing to leave Resembool.<p>

My ribs refused to heal any faster. Al insisted on keeping me bedridden, with Ed occasionally sneaking me out. We didn't act like the couples I used to see walking the halls of my school or whenever Uncle Jesse would take me shopping.

No, other than the rare moments where Ed and I couldn't bare the distance any longer did our deepest emotions come to light, though they were hardly spoken with words, rather than action.

Over the course of the days, our best moments had to be the sweet kiss in the library, after we successfully deciphered my father's journal together after weeks of sleepless nights for the brothers. It had made my entire body burn with a new vigor, a new strength, that sweet and simple reminder that I was no longer alone, that once all the chaos and strife finally ceased, I finally had a home.

After the kiss, Ed had taken me by surprise by getting me to dance with him to a song on the radio. I had never danced before and despite how clumsy I was at first, Ed was patient with me – another thing that took me aback. Soon the awkwardness melted away and we found ourselves lost in a moment, just lost in each other.

He didn't have to tell me how much he loved me. Every touch, every smile, spoke a thousand words to me. Sincerely, Ed's heart was mine. Barely mended, still grief-stricken, but thriving with passion and love. Still alive.

I just prayed I could get through the rest of this winter without someone else getting hurt.

* * *

><p>It was mid-January by the time I was deemed that I had made a full recovery but Dr. Tim Marcoh; the doctor who had not only looked after Allen, but had apparently saved Havoc from being paralyzed and Roy from being blind. He worked under an alias in a small village, trying to repent for all of his sins. I liked the man, though his grotesque appearance took some getting used to.<p>

The bandages from my ribs were finally gone, along with the bandage on my cheek, a faint pink scar on my ivory cheekbone. It was only two or three inches long and very thin. Over time, it would fade. I felt better than I did before the accident. In fact, I felt stronger.

Immediately, I challenged the Elrics to a spar. All I got was a quick denial with me begging for an hour straight, before Winry's wrench suddenly went flying through the air. Seconds away from hitting its mark – my shoulder – a blur of steel snatched it. Ed glared at the doorway, gripping the wrench in his hand, looking ready to kill. Winry stood in the doorway, hands promptly on her hips, wearing a white suede petticoat, peach colored scarf, tights and snow boots. Her blue eyes were flickering as she finally stepped inside the living room.

"Back from Rush Valley a day early!" I said, trying to sound cheerful about it.

I wasn't. In fact, I was a little on the terrified side. She threw that thing without even a second thought. I wasn't Ed. I didn't have an impervious head or tolerance for it. She could've dislocated or broken my shoulder. I was grateful for Ed's intervention.

"Hey, Gearhead, don't go throwing your tools at my girl."

It was the first time Ed ever claimed me as his in front of a crowd – let alone our friends. Suddenly bashful, I bit my lip, trying to fight the grin of pleasure.

_He called me his…_

Winry blinked a couple of times, "Since when? How come no one told me?"

"No one told anyone." Al grumbled, clearly unhappy.

"Aw, Al, don't get mad because your brother has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon~" Odessa teased, suddenly hugging his arm.

Al grinned, "That's right. I'm the gentlemen and I'm much taller than my older brother."

"No offense, but I'm pretty sure you should've been the older brother. You act more like it." Allen quipped from his spot on the couch, Sciezka sitting beside him and gripping his hand.

"Why is everyone picking on me?" Ed seethed through ground teeth, eye twitching and vein throbbing in his temple as he attempted to remain calm.

Odessa stuck her tongue out at him, "We like getting a rise out of you. It's really way too easy to do, Eddy."

"Don't call me that!" Ed snarled, taking a step closer to her.

The brunette squeaked, immediately clinging to Al, who simply wrapped his arms around her petite frame.

"Brother, don't scare Dess!" he taunted, before he rubbed their noses together, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "She might be your sister-in-law one day."

Winry stood there, looking as confused as I felt. She pointed at them with a raised eyebrow, Odessa giggling while she and Al continued to be lovey-dovey together. I swore hearts were floating aimlessly around them, the prior urge to gush now replaced with a stronger urge to gag.

On second thought, I'm never going to complain about Ed and me never being lovey-dovey. I'd rather have spontaneous moments of tender romance than getting incredibly sick, incredibly fast…

"Okay, seriously, when did that happen?" Winry demanded.

"We're as clueless as you are, Win." Ed managed.

My arms wrapped around his as I propped my chin on his shoulder, having been freed from Marcoh's physical. The doctor was now in the kitchen, having a nice conversation with Pinako. I glanced at Allen and Sciezka, the bookworm more focused on the fact that Allen hadn't eaten while he made a face at the two lovebirds.

"Guess we were right to let them be and figure it out on their own…" I glanced at the two, now cuddled on the loveseat with Odessa perched sideways in Al's lap. "Though if we don't keep a close eye on 'em…"

"There's no way my little brother is having kids before me!" Ed hissed.

I blinked, "Actually, I was more worried about them going through Central and overrunning the house with strays." My lips formed a smirk, "But who knew the great Edward Elric wants to procreate~"

"Must you refer to it as procreation? How hard is it to just say I want to be a dad?"

I crinkled my nose, teasing him simply because I wanted to. It wasn't often that Ed and I could talk about the future, especially with the constant fear in the back of our minds that we may not have one. Plus, I was intrigued by the fact Ed wanted to have kids one day.

I hadn't really given much thought to it, other than the snowy day that I thought of building a home here in Resembool, seeing that child.

Ed's child.

My child.

To think that I yearned for that at such a young age. I had never really put any thought into my future. I loved children, despite the fact I hadn't gotten to be around them much. I was good with my aunt's grandchildren the few times I got to watch them. Deep down, I guess I always wanted to end up a mother, just never really thought about it.

"You're the scientist here," I poked him, "So my bad for thinking I had to use my broad vocabulary."

Allen crossed his arms, "Okay, please, even the subtle flirtations are making my stomach churn. I can't take much more. Also, I'm kinda, sorta still your elder brother… and I haven't exactly accepted Elric as your boy-toy."

"He is not my boy-toy!" I snapped.

Ed glared at Allen, "Why? Think I'm not good enough for your sister?"

"More like you haven't even given me the consideration as her brother to get my approval."

"What do you want me to do, grovel at your feet?"

"Allen, Ed, stop it."

Allen pouted, "Aw, but why? I like giving the shrimp a hard time."

He was hardly a shrimp. Over the course of the past six weeks, Ed had grown at least another two inches. He was only three inches shorter than Allen now. Guess he kept up the routine for nostalgic reasons. I didn't find it amusing anymore. Frankly, neither did Ed.

"Seriously, man, cut it out. I love Eva and it's as simple as that. Honestly, I don't care what anyone thinks about it other than her."

Winry smiled, having just come back into the room after changing to hear those words.

"Aw, Ed, that's like the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say."

"_Tch_," Ed shoved his hands into his pockets, tossing her back her wrench, which she twirled on her fingers like a baton. "I'm gonna go find the hose."

"Eh? What for?" Allen blinked.

He jabbed his metal thumb in Al and Odessa's direction. I had the feeling they were simply doing this to get back at all of us for picking on them for being so damn oblivious. At first they were trying to simply be cute – now it was just to make us regret ever breathing down their necks.

I decided to sit down next to my brother. I hadn't seen Allen since the hospital visit. He had arrived only an hour or so ago, with Sciezka and Marcoh. I didn't get much of a greeting, since he decided to double over in pain with Sciezka doting over him while I was whisked away by Marcoh for the physical.

Naturally at ease with him now, all I had to do was lean against him and his automail arm was draped around my shoulders, his face turning so he could press a kiss to the crown of my head. I closed my eyes. I liked the warmth of Allen. It was warmth that was like that of a familiar stranger – recognizable, yet completely new to me.

His warmth was that of a big brother, similar to the warmth my father had once brought me, but much closer to the warmth I felt with Al. A combination of the two, but strictly Allen's. If I had to put my life in someone's hands after the Elrics, Allen would be my first choice. Then _maybe_ the Colonel.

Maybe being the key word.

My slate orbs opened as I felt Den place his head on my knee, begging for attention. I scratched the old dog behind his ears, smiling down at him. He panted, tongue drooping out of the side of his mouth, causing me to giggle. Allen chuckled as well, before he turned his attention back to Sciezka, hand entwined with her own. He lifted their hands, brushing a kiss to the back of hers. I watched from the corner of my eye as she blushed, flustered over the action, but radiating a positive glow. They were taking things slow, but they seemed happy together.

"Who wants apple pie?"

That broke Al out of his own little world, where Odessa and him had been cuddling and kissing non-stop. He perked up at once, bronze orbs immediately locked on the older blond. She grinned at once.

"Alright, Al's in. Anyone else?"

"To finally get to try some of Winry Rockbell's infamous apple pie and pass it up? Hell no." Allen laughed, "I definitely want a piece of that."

"Me too!" I exclaimed.

"Haha, okay. Sciezka, Odessa, you two wanna help me in the kitchen?"

Part of me felt a bit dejected that I wasn't asked to help too. I tried not to let it show as the bookworm and the apprentice skipped after Winry into the kitchen. I chewed on my thumbnail, stealing glances at the doorway where I could hear their giggles and laughter.

_Guess I really am just one of the guys…_

I wasn't blind. Every time we had gotten together in a group, I was usually left with Ed and Al. Maybe they sensed that was my comfort zone. Still though, it kind of stung that the girls didn't want me around.

_I haven't exactly been warm and very open for suggesting spending time together, just the girls, either though…_

"Did you want to go too?" Allen's tone was low.

I jumped, debating for a second about denying it, before I nodded sadly. He hugged me carefully – so not to put any strain on his side or cause any damage to my recently healed ribcage – and I snuggled into his arms. I realized this was the comfort I needed at the moment, my big brother's.

Ever since finding out Allen was my brother, we hadn't any time to celebrate our reunion. Instead we were whisked away from each other, kept apart. I understood why it had to be done, but there was a piece of me that was angry and trembling. He was my brother, the only family I had here. Rowena and Rand still hadn't shown back up, my nightmares now plaguing me with dreams of their deaths.

"Allen…?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about our father…"

"Randurdor…was a very gifted alchemist with a very big heart, but a very stubborn mindset. I wouldn't exactly call it…arrogance… but he thought he could cross into God's territory and come out unscathed. Like he could face Death, spit in his face, and walk back out. He acted very…impervious."

I laughed softly, "He was that way back home too… always getting into trouble…so impulsive, so compassionate, always taking on the world even when no one was trying to get a rise out of him."

"He was a good man…just warped."

My fingers brushed against the plating of his automail, "Did it hurt…?"

"Yes, it did, but it was worth it. Now I can protect my _real_ father's back."

"You really do love Roy, don't you…?"

"Far more than most people realize. People used to ask me all the time why I put up with him. I always said the same thing."

"What did you tell them?"

"Because, he's the man who will never let me give up and grovel for death and he forces me to live for something much bigger than myself… he makes me live because life is damn beautiful and we need to open our eyes to it."

I was quiet, taking in those words and remembering the words Ed had said when he told me about Nina, about how Al and he were just two tiny insignificant humans who couldn't even save a little girl.

"Allen, do you think I'll be able to get through this?"

"You're doing the best that you can, given how much is being dropped on you all at once."

"We deciphered the journal. We have our destination for when spring comes."

"Where…?"

I took a deep breath, leaning up to whisper in his ear, because I could feel Al's eyes on me, knowing that I was confiding in someone that should not be involved. Someone dear to me that I, in the end, would not be able to protect.

Selfishly, I was putting him at risk.

"Xerxes."

* * *

><p>It was shortly after midnight that our little 'party' finally came to its close. We had a full house tonight at the Rockbells, but Granny didn't seem to mind. In fact, she was happy that everyone seemed to stuff himself or herself with her cooking, now passed out with their stomachs full and smiles on their faces.<p>

The house – which once felt so vast and lonely – really did have that aroma of family and home within it, especially tonight.

I tiptoed quietly through the living room, picking up the mess. I was still awake, though the weariness was beginning to settle within me too. Winry asked me to help her with dishes, allowing us some private time to chat. She asked how things were going with Ed and me. I gave her minor details, and was relieved to find out that he and I seemed to be on very firm ground.

Once the living room was clean, I looked around the dimly lit room to the staircase, where the sounds of slumber could be heard. I had given Sciezka my room for the night. Odessa was bunking with Winry. Allen was bunking with Al. Marcoh was sleeping soundly in the backroom with Den. Ed had gone upstairs a bit ago, to talk to Al and Allen about something. I dismissed it. If Ed wanted to tell me about it, he would later.

Now, with nothing but my own thoughts for company, I eased myself onto the couch, pulling the small blanket around me as I curled into a ball, sitting up.

Staring into darkness.

That's all I did.

Lost in thought, in memory.

"Evangeline?"

"Hmm?"

I turned upon hearing Ed's voice. He stood at the base of the stairs, watching me. Even in the faint candlelight, I could see the worry and sadness in his eyes.

Sometimes, when I zoned out, I always came out to find Ed just looking at me with those eyes. He did not pity me, that I knew. No, he was wondering where my thoughts were; what distant memory I was trying to pull myself through, losing myself in my past and mind, desperate to find a way back to reality.

The same went with my nightmares, which were progressively worsening as the nights went by. Whenever I would wake up thrashing, screaming someone's name, whether it be Edward, Alphonse, Winry, Allen, Roy, Hawkeye… he would always be right there, pulling me into his arms, soothing me back to sleep.

Some nights he stayed.

Others he ventured back into the darkness to face his own nightmares.

Alone.

Countless times I asked him to seek me out, wake me whenever he had his own nightly troubles, but Ed would simply smile and tell me that he would be fine. That if he really needed to talk to someone, he would go to Al.

Very slowly, Ed crossed the room, silently extending his hand. I took it, allowing him to pull me to my feet, before grabbing the blanket and draping it around my shoulders, almost like that of a cloak. Without saying a word, the blond clasped his hand around mine, gently steering me up the stairs. The only sound was my breathing, which hitched as he led me down to the very end of the hallway, to the door furthest from the rest of the house, the small bedroom Ed had claimed as his own.

Far away where no one could hear his screams or tears...

Always Ed tried to bear the pain, carrying the burdens alone. He had his brother. He had his childhood friend. He had all the adults who each in their own way acted like a parent to him, at least once during his travels. Yet, still, Edward Elric refused to seek anyone's help.

I had never been in Ed's room before. Newspaper clippings, photographs, alchemy notes littered the board and desk, text books piled high in the corners, some clothes draped over chairs. His bed was unmade, the sheets twisted. The curtains were drawn tight. There was a lantern on the bedside table, a journal of notes open beside it. He shut the door, still holding my hand, and I watched as he flicked the lock as well. Still Ed didn't say a word, not until he was climbing into the bed, tugging my arm.

"Stay with me tonight…"

In other words, _'shield me from the nightmares._'

My knee pressed into the mattress as I climbed in, arms automatically wrapping around his waist as I curled into his chest, feeling him pull the blankets over us. The past six weeks had been hard on me, having to sleep alone. I needed to go through the withdrawal though. I was seventeen, and I needed to learn to be a little more self-sufficient. The fact Ed was there whenever I needed him comforted me was enough for me to go to sleep alone.

Tonight, I didn't intend to sleep much though. No, because tonight I needed a little more from Ed. I needed to feel like I was still alive. I knew I was, but inside, I didn't feel like it.

"What will the others think?" I muttered, feeling his fingers lightly brushing against my shoulder blades through my nightgown.

"Doesn't really matter. They're going to think the worst either way. Comes with the age."

"But we've never…"

"I know that and you know that. Al knows that too… well, the rational part of him does. But to everyone else, they're going to assume whatever they want. Does that bother you?"

I shook my head, eyes closed as I listened to the strong rhythmic beating of his heart. "Just don't want you taking anymore heat, especially with Allen here."

"Allen doesn't scare me… and even if he is your brother, I don't care who it is, I'll fight for you."

My lips turned into a small smile, "That's sweet, Ed."

I felt him go slightly rigid. He hated it when I complimented him, but he seemed to be easier on himself. I only gave small compliments here and there, trying to ease him into a more positive mindset when it came to himself. His insecurities were more pathological. Mine were more emotional.

We were trying to mend each other and I didn't mind in the slightest.

"Your hair…it's getting long…"

I felt his fingers trailing through the dark tresses, all the way to where they stopped, now mid-back. I hadn't really thought about it. Now that he mentioned it, I should probably ask Winry to cut it.

"I think it suits you."

I stiffened, "I don't want it to look like Winry's."

"I never said that it did."

"No, but I did. I don't like it too long. It's thick and hard to manage. Normally I never let it go passed my shoulder-blades."

He stroked my cheek, "I didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't making comparisons."

"You can't tell me you can sit there and not feeling anything for her… not even an echo of what you once felt…"

"I love Winry, but not… the way you seem to think I still do. Not even an echo. There's one person in this entire world that I've come to cherish that way."

I was quiet now; listening to how quickly his heart was pounding now.

"You know who it is, Evangeline…" he whispered in my ear, hot breath spreading chills down my entire body.

I lifted my head up, eyes closing as our lips touched. My palm ran up his side and chest, to his shoulder. I tilted my head to the side, parting my lips barely to let my tongue glide across his lower lip. His own lips parted, and suddenly there was a collision of fire between us.

Tongues dancing, mouths colliding, hands exploring, bodies pressed together, hearts racing, minds blank, only taking in the others taste, the others scent, the others passion and branding it to memory.

The bed shifted and suddenly I was underneath him, encaged in his arms. His lips left mine, pressing against my jaw, behind my ear, down my throat, to my collar, all the while leaving a trail of burning caresses. My nightgown had bunched around my hips, my thighs and undergarments exposed. His lips latched onto the space where my shoulder and neck met, and I gasped as I felt his teeth bite down. It was a gentle bite, one that brought pleasure rather than pain. I felt his slightly rough hand running slowly from my knee up my thigh, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.

Burning.

My entire body was on fire. Explosions of white stars flashed in front of my eyes. My mind was clouding. I was craving so much more.

"Ed~!"

My voice was breathless, barely above a whisper against his ear. My fingers managed to undo his ponytail, freeing the curtain of fair locks, shimmering like gold in the dim light. I sucked in my breath sharply as I felt his fingers brush against the most private part of me, not touching, but barely grazing. The touch alone sent a strange thrill through me. His hand moved up; palm brushing against the heated skin of my hip, now kissing and suckling my neck.

I was going insane. The burning caresses were everywhere, all over my body. My blood was on fire. There was a steadily growing frustration inside of me. I didn't understand, but my body was reassuring my mind that I didn't need to.

He broke away, brushing the cool metal thumb against the spot he had been suckling. It was sensitive to the touch, causing me to gasp slightly. It felt bruised and I had the feeling the skin was red.

Ed cupped my face, kissing my lips for a long moment, before he whispered, "I want you…"

Those three words chased off whatever rationality I may have had left. Wordlessly, I cupped his face, pulling him down for an intense kiss, one that left both of us breathless. I honestly had no idea what I was doing, but I was at my breaking point.

No regrets.

No running.

No turning back.

_Live like tomorrow might not come._

The moment we parted, the only words the passed my lips where, "Then take me…"

Panting, gold eyes searched my gray for a long moment, "Are you sure…? We can't go back after this…"

"I've never been able to go back… not since I met you…" I confessed, biting my lip. "I'm sure… you're the only… only person I'd ever…" I trailed off, my face flushing.

"Same…" Ed smiled slightly.

I felt a bit of shock, "You mean…you never…?"

He shook his head, "You'll be my first…"

"And you'll be mine…"

I know that most people waited for marriage for this sort of thing. This intimacy, this bond that formed when two people loved each other and wanted to be connected on a whole new level, but I just _knew_ that Ed and I weren't like everyone else. We weren't guaranteed the promise that we would live out the rest of our days. Not with all that had been going on.

We took the chance of facing death the moment Ed agreed to join the military and I decided to chase down the shards my father left behind to piece them back together again.

There was a pause, before very slowly, I felt Ed lifting the hem of my nightgown up my frame, very slowly exposing it to the slightly cold air. I arched my back and lifted my arms, feeling him pull it off me and then letting it drop to the floor. I bit my lip again, glancing up at him through russet strands as he ran his hands down my frame, hands brushing over my bra, down my stomach, and to my panties.

I ran my hands up his chest, lightly tugging on his black undershirt, which he leaned back onto his knees in order to strip it off. Very slowly, my hands run up the panes of his chest, feeling the muscles rippling underneath them, ivory hands running eagerly across the heated tawny skin.

He was so handsome, so angelic…

My hands reached the tops of his pajama bottoms, and that's where the hesitance struck. Very slowly, my fingers slid underneath the hem, just barely brushing against the sensitive skin of his hips before I found the courage to begin to tug them down. He helped me pull them off, leaving him in his boxers.

"We don't have to," Ed reassured me, seeing the mild fear in my eyes.

"I want to." I breathed, leaning up to wrap my arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss me.

One kiss became dozens as I felt his fingers gently pulling the straps off my shoulders, one hand sliding under me and pressing against the small of my back so he could undo the strap. I felt my bra sliding off with no resistance, keeping my eyes closed as he cupped my right breast in his left hand, gently kneading it while kissing me feverishly. I felt his knee nudging my legs apart slightly; arching my back again as he slowly removed my panties down my legs.

I finally opened my eyes as I realized I was completely exposed to him. Gold eyes, half-mast, took me in very slowly. There wasn't any disapproval in his eyes, even when his eyes took in the scarring on my legs, my slightly lacking physique.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Eva… I don't see why you down yourself so much…"

Blushing, I shifted my eyes away, one arm moving to cross over my breasts, but his hand gently grabbed my wrist, pressing it against the mattress before he leaned down to kiss me again. He released my wrist and ran his hands down my sides, pressing his chest to mine, keeping our lips locked tenderly.

This wasn't just sex.

No, this couldn't be.

_We're actually…making love…_

The kind of thing that didn't just happen in romance novels, the kind of passion in love that _meant_ something.

I heard the sound of his boxers hitting the floor. The fear hit again. I had never seen a man naked before. I was a little frightened to open my eyes. Very slowly, I did however, paling slightly at the sight of Ed's erect member. I was perplexed, trying to recall my freshman Health class about sexual education, but only one thought really struck me.

_How is…that going to…?_

My face was burning hot again, Ed once again pausing, silently asking me if I wanted to stop. Taking a deep breath, I calmed my anxiety and shook my head. He lifted my leg slightly, placing it over his hip, and I could feel the tip pressing against my entrance.

"E-Ed…?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure to…um…"

"Trust me, I know…" he leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose, "I'm not going to make you a mother just yet, Evangeline."

_Just yet._

I clung to those words as I felt him start to slowly begin to push inside of me. There was a lot of pain, but I bit it back, though I couldn't stop the tears from blurring my vision. I felt him gently wipe the ones that escaped from my face as he slowly continued to push himself inside of me. Suddenly, he stopped, looking into my eyes. Ed leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine, cupping my face and tenderly kissing my lips just as I gave a gasp of pain, muffled against his mouth.

I was no longer a virgin.

The tears leaked out on their own, but after a few minutes of him slowly pushing in and out, the pain was ebbed away, and I could feel the pleasure starting to peak. The pain was soon forgotten as our hips thrust against each other, bodies rocking; the only sounds besides murmuring each others names were breathy moans and mews of rapture. I could feel my entire body melting beneath his, feeling how we were joined. His fingers entwined with mine as we kissed, making love in a steady pace, one that wasn't too fast, trying to hang on to every second, capturing every moment to memory.

"I love you, Edward…nygh….so much!" I gasped.

"I love you, Eva!" Ed panted, turning my face to kiss me deeply.

Suddenly white hot burning, fire and passion, complete rapture racked through my body as the ribbons of ecstasy that had wrapped around me snapped. I felt my entire body shudder violently, my mind completely going blank. I gasped loudly, trying hard to keep my voice down. As the shudders finally stopped, I felt Ed pull out and heard him moan into the pillow. I ran my fingers through his hair as he slowly eased himself onto his side, tugging me into his arms, pulling the covers back over us.

He kissed my temple tenderly, eyes closed, completely breathless. After a few moments, his eyes opened and he brushed his hand down my cheek, thumb brushing against my cheekbone, tracing the scar.

"You alright?"

"Just a bit sore…" I mumbled.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you…"

I stifled a yawn, "S'okay… trust me, dealt with worse…"

His eyes flickered, knowing first hand at what pain I had gone through. His lips brushed against my temple again before he reached up and blew out the lantern. The room succumbed to nocturne and I listened to the sound of his breathing.

"Do you regret it…?" I whispered, feeling panicked suddenly.

"No." he said firmly. "You're the woman I love and we did nothing wrong."

"Y-You sure?"

The blond turned my face, eyes illuminated in the darkness. "Yes."

I eased up slightly, smiling tenderly as I whispered, "Love you…"

"And I you." He brushed his lips to mine one last time, "Get some sleep…"

"Sweet dreams, Ed."

_No regrets._

This was my life now. Ed and I had crossed a line that could've ruined everything. It didn't though. In fact, it made our bond stronger. He wasn't just my best friend and boyfriend anymore.

Edward Elric was my lover and I wouldn't have anyone else. My heart was his and his heart was mine. I wasn't going to let anyone take the happiness we found away.

I loved Ed, and even if it was us against the world, I'd rather be with him than anywhere else.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>I came back to reality before Ed did.<p>

At first, I didn't register where I was, looking around the unfamiliar room until last night came back to me in a rush. I lifted the sheets, looking down at my naked frame, before quickly reaching over the side of the bed and locating my discarded clothing. Once I had it all gathered in my arms, I swung my legs over the edge of the mattress, hastily moving to pull them on.

I felt his arm snake around my waist, jerking me back onto the mattress and my clothes hit the floor once again. His forehead pressed against mine, eyes closed but I knew he was awake. He pressed us tightly together.

"Don't leave yet…" he whispered.

"I gotta get to my room and –"

"You have no reason to be sneaking around like we're going to get in trouble."

"We might!" I whispered fiercely, "If Allen finds out then –"

"You can do whatever you please, even if he is your brother. You're not a child, Eva, and you've been doing just fine without anyone's guidance for almost four years."

Biting my lip, I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I understand the panic. Trust me, I'm expecting an earful from Al and Winry if they ever find out, but I don't care. It was worth it."

"Why, because you finally got laid?" I glared.

He snorted, "No. I could care less about that. Because I got to be with you in ways I know that we'll never be with anyone else."

"Ed…" Anger turned to giddiness as I smiled, cuddling against his chest. "You can be actually sweet…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he muttered, obviously hitting a nerve.

I laughed softly, "Exactly what I said."

He glared down at me, tapping me on the nose. "You can be mean, you know that?"

"Brutally honest, just like my father."

He grinned, "I like it."

Rolling my eyes, I tried to tug myself free, "Can I at least go shower…?"

He opened his mouth and before he could even get the words out, I had my hand held up and was giving him a firm look that stated 'no'. Ed pouted and I gathered my clothes once again, pulling them on and then tiptoeing out of the room to use the shower. I prayed that I wouldn't bump into anyone, but just as my luck would have it, I bumped into Sciezka. She took a look at me, staring quizzically, but she had enough sense to keep any suspicions to herself.

Once I was in the bathroom with the door shut and locked, I leaned against it and released a deep breath. I didn't regret last night in the slightest, but I was sore in places I didn't know I could be.

_Wonderful experience, this whole giving up my virginity thing._

Note sarcasm.

The warm water felt amazing on my sore muscles. Once my hair was washed, I let myself sink into the tub; just letting the warm water beat against my back. Now was the only time I could really reflect on last night. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I felt strange now. Older.

Was it like this for everyone? I mean, I would ask Winry, but… that would just open the door to many awkward questions and scenarios in my head I never wanted to have. I would never be able to look at Roy or her in the eye ever again.

_Guess I'm on my own._

Then the thought sprung on its own – Hawkeye. I could talk to her about it. Granted, I may get a scolding about taking precautions and not to get caught up in it and allow it to distract me, but she would at least be able to give me some advice. Better than going to Pinako or worse…

Allen.

Ed… may die if my brother ever found out we had relations.

I could see the headlines now: _Fullmetal Alchemist Murdered by Marksmen Allen Mustang._ Yeah, that would totally blow over well. The future Führer's foster son murdering the alchemist that saved Amestris from the homunculi.

I stood up and turned off the shower, watching the water disappear down the drain, along with the slight remnants of blood. That reminded me I had to get Ed's sheets washed. I'm pretty sure he didn't know he had made me bleed. If I hurried, he would never know how much pain I actually endured. He would never forgive himself, if he did.

I grabbed the extra robe and covered myself up, hurrying to my room and getting dressed, pulling on a v-neck dark gray sweater, my khaki shorts, a pair of thick white tights, and my black hiking boots. The sweater and tights had been a gift from Allen.

I heard the shower running as I stepped back into the hallway, seeing Ed's door was open a crack. His room was empty and I quickly stripped the sheets and changed them, making Ed's bed for him. I bundled up the sheets and picked up random dirty clothes strewn around the room. Ed wasn't exactly a slob, but he wasn't a neat freak either. I put them all in the laundry basket and carried it downstairs, inwardly wincing but trying to hide how sore I felt.

My eyes landed on the washroom, where I opened the door and –

"ALLEN!" I shrieked.

He jerked back from Sciezka, both turning bright red.

I could not believe I just caught my brother making-out with the bookworm.

_Dear god, I think I may be blind._

I gagged slightly, with him grabbing her hand and hastily dragging her out of the room. Brushing my damp hair out of my face and over my shoulder, I then got to work on washing the clothes.

However, that damn bloody spot just refused to come out completely, now a faded brown spot.

"You might have to toss 'em if you're trying to hide evidence."

I jolted and whirled around, dagger in hand. Odessa blocked it with her vice-grips and raised an eyebrow at me. I gave a sigh of relief, returning the dagger to its sheath underneath the hem of my sweater. She then propped herself on top of the dryer, rocking back and forth innocently.

"I heard you two last night."

_Dammit._

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure Al and I are the only ones who were awake. Pinako, Dr. Marcoh, Allen, Sciezka, and Winry were all a little tipsy from the wine we had at dinner."

_Well, that's a relief. Kinda. Now what do I gotta pay to keep Odessa quiet…_

"Look, I'm really sorry you heard us…"

"I was wondering when you two would finally give in. You've been eying each other like Den does that poodle down the road for a month! Every time I've stopped by with Winry, we've had to bet on whether or not you two would sleep together."

My face was burning bright red, "And what business is it of yours?"

"None, to be honest." Odessa closed her blue eyes and gave me a small smile. "It's just, I really think you're a sweet girl and I want Ed and you to have the best. Trust me, I can understand how scary it is… wondering if we're going to die tomorrow."

"So have Al and you crossed that line?"

"No. We don't really plan on it. Though we have had steamy make-out sessions."

"Too much info," I twitched a little.

Al was like my brother. It was as awkward as walking in on Allen just now. I glanced at her, slate orbs most likely curious.

"So what do I gotta do to keep you from telling the others?"

"Nothing. I don't really gossip."

Relief washed over me. This was one of the many reasons I liked Odessa. She had a good heart.

"As for the sheets, I can take care of it."

"How?"

Odessa knocked a can of oil on the sheets, a glob landing right over the pesky spot. "Whoopsie," she giggled innocently.

I grinned at her but played along, "Dang it, Dess! How are we going to get this out?"

"Let's just try washing it again. My bad."

"Yeah, yeah."

We washed the sheets again, smiling at one another for a moment. I touched her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze before we went to step out into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Thanks, Dess."

"We're friends, Eva. Never forget that."

"I won't."

Breakfast was just being served as we stepped into the kitchen. Pinako glanced at us for a second but dismissed it while Odessa went to take her seat next to Al. Ed walked into the room, towel-drying his hair, allowing the towel to rest on his shoulders as he pulled out the chair next to me. I found I couldn't look at my brother or his girlfriend, focusing on my scrambled eggs and toast, trying to choke it down. I didn't really have much of an appetite.

"So what's the plan for today?"

"Ed, please don't talk with your mouthful." I said, not even looking up.

He chewed and swallowed, "Sorry."

"Sadly, my vacation's over." Allen spoke up, "Sciezka and I are heading back to Central."

"And we're escorting Dr. Marcoh to his village before going back to Rush Valley." Odessa replied, looking at Winry with a bit of sadness.

"I'm going with the girls and then heading back here." Al replied, "I have to stop in Dublith and see Teacher shortly, but I'll be back tomorrow."

"So looks like everyone's leaving again." Pinako sighed before her eyes shifted to Ed and me, "What about you two lovebirds?"

"Sparring." Ed said, before shoving some ham into his mouth.

I quickly swallowed my tea, choking on it for a moment until Al patted me on the back, clearing my windpipe. "S-Seriously!" I choked out, coughing. "B-But you s-said… you two told me no!"

"That was yesterday, when everyone was here. You deserved some time with Allen." Winry pointed out. "You should enjoy it. The snows cleared up and you've been stuck in bed for six weeks. You need to get those muscles back in shape."

_I'm already sore enough as it is, now I gotta get my ass kicked by Edward._

This day is turning out to be just peachy.

Note sarcasm. Again.

I shoveled the rest of my eggs into my mouth. I couldn't wait to try and face Ed. We held our goodbyes before bundling up, Ed and I walking the group to the crossroad that would take them to the station, the other path heading down to the lake and clearing. I felt Allen pull me into a tight hug, which I returned.

"Be careful…" he whispered fiercely in my ear. "That goes for with Ed too."

"Alright… love you, Brother."

"And I you, Sister."

We kissed – me on his cheek, him on my forehead – before they turned to leave before they missed the train. Ed and I waved until they were distant figures, before we began to head down the slope to the lake. Neither one of us spoke, both of us content in silence.

We came to a stop feet away from the frozen lake, remnants of snow all around us. I waited as Ed transmuted us a couple of staffs from the trees, tossing me one. I twirled it effortlessly, having become quite skilled in defending myself with one. I gripped the thick wooden shaft in my hands, planting my feet firmly on the frozen earth, watching the blond closely.

We moved simultaneously, the loud clanging of wood ringing through the air. I had managed to parry his attack, twisting upward and knocking him back, but immediately he brought his staff down, aiming for my right hip. I jerked the staff downward, blocking the attack and pressing with all of my strength. All I accomplished was sliding Ed back a few feet.

I leapt back, cursing softly as my heel hit a rock, causing me to be knocked back. My rear hit the ground and I felt pain shoot up my tailbone, narrowly bringing my staff up to block the blow that Ed delivered from above. I struggled to regain my footing beneath me. If this were a real battle against a real opponent, I would be close to death right now.

"You can do better than this!" Ed hissed.

I jerked the staff sharply to the left, whacking his right kneecap. He cringed and his knee hit the ground. Now I had the uppe rhand, pressing forward and managing to get back to my feet. I twisted my body, connecting the staff with his left wrist, and his staff went flying through the air. His back hit the ground and I straddled him, staff pinning down his wrists and pressed against the base of his throat.

"You're right, I can."

I expected him to whine, but instead Ed's lips pulled into a smirk. Suddenly I was holding two pieces of wood and the next thing I knew, I was sliding across the ice. His automail had been transmuted to a blade. Blinking, I didn't move, lying very still on the ice, shaking slightly.

_Shit. Can't move._

Very slowly, I got to my knees, trying not to put any weight on the slippery lake. I could see the narrow cracks. My breath was trembling as I pressed the heel of my hand to the cold surface, managing to get my boot planted firmly in place. I rose to my feet, but I was unable to walk forward without either falling or causing the ice to break.

This was part of the test; I could tell by the way Ed was moving. He wanted to see what I would do to get out of this situation.

I slowly reached down, grasping the two halves of my weapon, freezing when I heard the cracking and shifting of the ice. I saw a tic form in his jaw as he stiffened, eyes widening at the sound. In that split second, I saw the torn expression etched on his features. Now was my chance.

I slammed the right half into the ice, using it as a wedge and the left as a hammer. It shattered the ice completely. As I felt the ice beginning to dip into the icy waters, I leapt to the ice in front of me, using each one like that of a spring board. It caused a spray of water, blocking Ed from seeing me.

I leapt for the embankment, managing to roll across the ground and hide behind a snow bank. I could hear him cursing and looking for me now, having lost me in the spray and ice. I crouched and shifted behind the trees, grasping onto a low branch and easing myself into the pine tree, pressing close to the trunk. I caught sight of gold and red through the branches.

"Not funny, Eva! Where'd you go?"

_Not falling for it, Ed. As if I'd call out to the enemy._

I locked my arms around the branch along with my ankles, slowly scooting myself toward the end, looking down and seeing Ed standing there, scratching his head and grumbling in aggravation. I unlocked my ankles, bringing my feet down and kicking him square in the back and sending him flying before I let go with my hands and landed on the ground, gasping as pain shot up my legs, but hurrying to arm myself. I spotted Ed's forgotten staff, snatching it and whirling around.

Frozen in a stalemate, slate narrowed on amber. I could feel the tip of the blade grazing my throat, my staff centimeters from his temple, which would've been a deathblow. Neither of us moved, breathing heavily with the winter air piercing through our lungs like daggers. My entire body was screaming in agony, but I refused to give in now.

Spar or not, real or not, I did not like these circumstances.

"Draw?" Ed asked.

"Hell no."

He quirked an eyebrow, "Then how do you get out of this predicament, Eva?"

My eyes flickered to the trees, "ALLEN, NOW!"

He took the bait, jerking reflexively. I took advantage of a weakness. I knew Ed was worrying about Allen, especially after the events of last night.

I slammed the hilt of the staff into Ed's stomach, knocking him against the tree, pressing it diagonally so that he had no way to use his alchemy or be able to strike me with his blade. Edward blinked a few times, before he broke into a grin.

"Amazing! You've actually learned!"

"You let me win on purpose." I accused.

"Nope." Ed continued to give me a dopey grin, "I'm really proud of you."

My face warmed, "I'm not going to fall for it."

"Relax, love, the battle's over."

Very slowly, I went to free him, but a voice in the back of my head told me to stop. Instead I slammed him into the tree again, getting nose-to-nose, searching his eyes. Now I could see the true pride within them. He had been trying to take advantage of my trust, to prove to me the same principle he had been for months.

_I am to damn trusting._

"You saw right through the truth."

"I'm not as naïve as I used to be."

With that said I crushed my lips to his and kissed him heatedly. After a few minutes, I pulled back, playfully nipping his lower lip before I stepped back, releasing him. I twirled the staff once again before walking over to the familiar large tree, perching myself on its thick roots and leaning the staff against it. Ed sat down beside me a minute later, trying to catch his breath. I hugged my knees to my chest, looking out at the ice floating on the lake.

"Spring's just around the corner." Ed stated.

I inhaled the cold air, "And then we're on our way to the lost city."

"Xerxes…"

"What's it like?"

"Sandy. Ruins. Hot as hell. I can't stand the trip across the desert. Too hot for someone with automail."

My dream came to mind, of the temple ruins, the sand, our fathers…

"I think I've dreamed of the place."

"What?" Ed glanced at me, looking a cross between alarmed and angry.

"At Teacher's. I had a dream about my father and your dad."

"My dad? You haven't ever met that bastard."

"No, but he definitely was your father. Van Hohenhiem, right?" He paled considerably, just watching me. "Gold eyes, gold hair, beard, glasses… hair worn in a ponytail…" Yeah, definitely hit the nail on the head with the looks Ed was giving me. "Anyway, my dad told me some stuff… but there's only one thing that really stuck with me. He said to me "Not all that appears to be really is," though to be honest, not entirely sure what it means."

"I changed my mind. You're not going to Xerxes."

"Wait, what?" I jerked my head to look at him, "How come you just said me?"

"Al and I are still going. You're staying where it's safe."

"No way! I had a dream about it, Ed! That's a definite connection! My father came to me there!"

He shook his head, "You're not going and that's final."

"You're not in charge of me, Ed!"

"Oh really now! Last time I checked, I was your protector! You're my ward, _my_ responsibility and if I say you can't go somewhere, you can't under military law! Do you understand that, Evangeline? YOU ARE NOT GOING TO XERXES!"

I was shaking in anger now, seeing red. How could he go and do this? We decided to go to Xerxes together – all three of us. It was the place with the lost pieces of the puzzle. I was sure of it.

And now…

"Fine! Whatever!" I shouted, before getting to my feet and turning to walk away. "Do whatever you want, Elric! I don't care!"

I didn't need him. Just because I loved him didn't mean I was going to follow orders. To hell with that! I didn't bow down to anyone. That was how my father raised me. Be my own person, stick to my beliefs, don't let anyone try and force you to do something you don't want to do!

One way or another, I was done with playing around and waiting. I was not going to be like Winry. I wasn't going to wait around for Ed to get a grip. That was the difference between her and me. I wasn't going to wait and sit around when I could accomplish something on my own.

That was exactly what I was going to do.

* * *

><p>Ed didn't try and come after me that day, nor did he apologize. I was still pretty ticked over the Xerxes issue, especially when Alphonse came home the next afternoon and he had the nerve to agree with Edward. I locked myself in my room that night, refusing to speak to anyone but Pinako.<p>

As the rest of January's days drifted by and February arrived, I found the house was back to its bustling glory. Preparations for the wedding were underway. I couldn't stand the happy atmosphere, not when I felt so betrayed by the man who supposedly loved me and understood me.

I escaped into town with Odessa as an errand for Granny. As I read off the list for what seemed like ingredients for a cake and a special dinner in a bored tone, I had the nagging feeling that something else other than the wedding was up.

"Hey, Dess, what's so special about tonight anyway?"

Her blue eyes glanced up from the eggs, "You mean he hasn't told you?"

I gave an irritable sigh, "Who hasn't told me what?"

"You guys fighting?"

_Oh, she means Ed._

"Kinda. They won't let me go with them this Spring."

"That's strange; Al said all three of you were going…"

"Not anymore. Ed doesn't feel like it's a good idea." I rolled my eyes and snorted.

"He's only trying to look out for you."

"He's being a jerk."

Odessa's eyes flickered as she looked down, "Today's Ed's 19th birthday."

That made my blood, which had been boiling in anger, turn cold. My eyes locked on the floor and I hugged the bag of groceries to my chest as Odessa paid. We started to walk through the village again.

_I feel like a bitch._

"Odessa, I need you to head on back by yourself." I shoved the bag into her arms.

"Where are you going?" she called after me as I turned around.

"I'll be home later!"

I was going to harden my heart and swallow my tears. He didn't need someone who couldn't handle when someone was trying to protect them. All Ed was doing was trying to ensure that I was going to be safe. Fine, he didn't want me going with him to Xerxes? Well, he couldn't stop me from doing something productive in his absence. Until then, I was going to make the most of what time we had together, and fighting like this wasn't how I wanted to spend what could be our last moments.

I browsed the shops, steadily growing frustrated. I didn't know what to get Ed for his birthday. I wished I had a lot more warning. Sighing, I groaned as I left another shop, still unable to find anything that deemed decent. I was his girlfriend, wasn't I? Then why the hell was it so damn hard to find something he'd like!

Raking my fingers through my bangs, I paused as I noticed an old bookstore. It was the last shop I could try before I could head back. I opened the door and stepped inside, browsing it quickly. I found some old alchemy textbooks and hesitated – Sciezka probably got him alchemy books. Those were out.

Cursing under my breath, I didn't notice the shop keeper giving me a sympathetic look until after a few seconds. I sweatdropped and sighed. She knew I was the Godrics' granddaughter and that I was Ed's girlfriend.

"Can't find a present for Ed?"

"No…"

"Here."

I blinked as she handed me a box, "What's this?"

"Fresh baked cookies. Also, why not try something from the heart, dearie?"

"From the… but what? I haven't much time and…"

"What do you like to do?"

"Um, write I guess…"

"Write him a story then, dearie."

I blinked, "Sure…okay!"

I found a nice dark green leather bound book that was blank, purchasing it. I took the box of cookies and hurried back through Resembool, heading back to the house. I barely gave a greeting to Winry and the others, who were setting up the birthday dinner. All I did was shove the cookies in her hand, inquire Ed's whereabouts – he was out with Al currently – and then rushed upstairs.

Within the next six hours, I had the entire book filled with multiple little short stories, poems, even just a few little notes here and there. Anything that came to mind I jotted down. It was rushed but it was from the heart. The last thing I needed on it, I had Allen help me out. Though he only used his alchemy for his weapons, he agreed to help me, transmuting some black felt onto the cover into the familiar insignia. I then wrapped the book in some brown paper.

"Dinner starts in about fifteen. Might want to clean up." Allen teased, poking me in the cheek. "Got some ink on your face."

"Dammit," I muttered, hurrying to the bathroom.

I didn't just have it on my face; I managed to get it on my shirt too. I hastily stripped it off and got it under running water. I hurried back to my room and came to a stop to see Odessa and Winry in there.

"There you are! We're getting ready to e – what happened to your shirt?"

"Ink." I replied, going to my closet and pulling out my dark gray sweater, pulling it on. Lucky for me I missed my white pants. "Is Ed back?"

"Yup, downstairs waiting for us so we can eat."

I grabbed the present and followed them downstairs. Dinner went by smoothly. I tried my best to be as sweet as possible, to ignore the anger that had been eating me alive over the days. Ed seemed to notice and his mood perked up a lot over the course of the evening.

Soon the cake – strawberry – was served. We sang him Happy Birthday and he blushed, looking awkward and even a bit sour about it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him right on the lips, in front of everyone. He didn't seem to mind too much after that. After cake came presents. I was right about Sciezka and Allen getting him alchemy books. Al made him a statue of a lion out from alchemy. Odessa and Winry showered him with gifts involving automail maintenance. Roy and Hawkeye, who had stopped in for wedding preparations, got him clothes.

"Eva, don't you have a gift for the Birthday Boy?" Winry teased, hugging Roy's arm.

I felt the familiar heat creeping up my neck and flooding my cheeks. I fidgeted, handing over the parcel. Ed opened it and very slowly brushed his fingertips across the dark green leather cover, the black insignia, before he opened it and read the inside. He looked up and closed the book, motioning for me to come closer. I did and felt his arms wrap tightly around me.

"Thank you, Eva. Best present ever."

Tears burned my eyes, "Figured you could read it… while you were gone…"

His lips brushed against my cheek, "Thank you." he said again.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. All I really remembered was that Ed hardly let me go. Wine was broken out yet again, and even Ed had a small glass, but Al, Odessa, and I politely refused. I gave my room to Sciezka, having the sneaky suspicion that Allen was going to sneak out of Al's room and join her.

For the first time in weeks, I found myself sleeping in Ed's room.

We didn't speak, other than the occasional murmur of apologies and promises to be safe. Soft tender nothings of love. Feeling his fingers tracing my face, memorizing them with his eyes and fingertips.

We made love for the second time that night and it was all I could do not to break down crying afterwards, begging him to not go and stay with me if I couldn't go with him to Xerxes. I didn't though and held the dark thoughts to myself.

Time was slipping by so fast…

Part of me felt as if I just died in his arms that night. In a sense, I had, because living without Edward wasn't living at all. Because he had grown to be more than my best friend, lover, and protector.

He was my entire heart and soul.

"Ed…?"

"Yeah, Eva?"

"Promise… promise that no matter what… you'll always come back…"

"I'll come running."

Promises in the dark.

Sealed with a kiss.

Never-ending nightmares…

The last night before so many lonely ones were to come and our paths of destiny would no longer be entwined. They were twisting away from one another. Now it was time to tread the path alone.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. Finally, an update! You'd think roleplaying as Eva with my good friend Meredith as my Ed would kick my ass into gear. =_=' Anyways, here's the update. :D Please review!

* * *

><p>The morning of February 14th, 1918 was chaos.<p>

No other word could describe it as everyone busted their rear ends with last minute preparations for the big day. By the end of the night, Winry would become the wife of the Führer-to-be. Today was a day that was supposed to bring joy and happy memories – so for the time being, I allowed myself to forget everything.

I did not dwell on the horrors of the journey I was on, the pain of the inevitable separation between the Elrics and myself, and the worries that ate me alive in the dead of night.

I waited in line to shower, finally giving up and using the sink downstairs to wash my hair. Despite what I said, I in the end didn't have the heart to cut it. My once shoulder-blade length hair was almost to the small of my back. I now kept it in a braid or clipped into a bun like Hawkeye's.

Once my hair was washed, towel dried, brushed, and combed back, I headed back up to my room to change into my bridesmaid dress. It was form-fitting; a deep crimson in shade, a round neck with a pleated hem that fell just below the knee. White tights and red flats adorned my legs and feet.

I sat down at the vanity table, exchanging the studs in my ears for rubies, checking my cuff earring and cleaning it with some rubbing alcohol and fixing the tendrils that fell in front of my ears and keeping my bangs pinned out of my face with criss-crossing red bobbi-pins. I then carefully applied the subtle amounts of make-up. Granted I didn't care for it, but my mother had once been a professional dancer.

She taught me from a young age how to transform even the subtlest pretty face into that which rivaled a goddess.

I applied the pale pink lipstick and blended it in, adding the finishing touches of blush to my pale face when a soft knock came through my door. I lifted my head up and glanced at the time in the open pocket watch on the table. I stood up and crossed the room, answering the door.

"Hey, Eva, are you almost r –"

Ed looked up from the newspaper and gawked.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, I am female."

He shook his head, "You look really good in red…"

"I don't think so," I murmured before taking a step back. "I'm almost done. Just need to find a necklace."

I didn't have much jewelry. Winry had given me some old earrings and whatnot, same with Odessa, but I wasn't sure I had anything to match.

"Oh! That reminds me!" Ed dug into the pocket of his black blazer, wearing a red dress shirt underneath and a black tie that was currently loosened and his top buttons were undone. "I got something for you while I was in Central last week."

My eyebrow rose. I wasn't typically the gift-receiving type. I hated when people spent money on me. Opening my mouth to lecture the blond, Ed held up a hand to stop me before I even started.

"I didn't pay anything for it. It was given to me as payment."

"What for?"

"A grateful woman thanked me for saving her lost cat."

"Uh-huh…"

_That sounds way more up Al's alley than yours, Edward…_

"Close your eyes~"

"You're refusing to make this easy on me, aren't you?"

"…it's _me.._."

I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling tingles along my neck a moment later before cool metal rested on it. When I opened my eyes and saw my reflection, I found a beautiful ruby necklace sent on a delicate white chain around my neck. My fingertips brushed against the smooth face of the gem, before I wordlessly turned and wrapped an arm around Ed's neck, kissing his cheek.

"It's perfect and lovely… thank you."

"It reminded me of you…"

I smiled and pulled back, "Are you ready?"

"Eh," Ed scratched the back of his head as I began to button his shirt and readjust his tie. "Ugh, I hate these things! I feel like they're going to come to life and strangle me!"

Patting his cheek, I glanced at our reflection. I wondered how old would I be when I had my own wedding day.

Would my groom be the man beside me now?

Would I even be allowed to dream of such a happy future?

I could see that child again – golden hair, adventure seeking eyes, beautiful laughter. My hand pressed to my abdomen as Ed held me close.

A subtle sign of affection. We were still learning.

"C'mon, let's go watch your childhood friend and the Colonel Bastard get married." I teased, using his favorite nickname for Roy.

His lips twitched into a smile as he laced our fingers, flesh and automail.

* * *

><p>The wedding march started. We walked through the gentle snow fall to the altar in the backyard, my arm locked through Ed's. We took our places and watched the ceremony. This was the first time I had ever been to a wedding, and there were many moments I felt like tearing up.<p>

Winry looked beautiful, hair crimped and worn in a loose ponytail, a veil with white and blue roses on her hair as tendrils framed her face. Her dress was ankle-length, made of white satin with an empire waist, a blue ribbon tied around it. Blue trim lined the heart-shaped bodice made out of white lace, the sleeves short and off-the-shoulder. The back of her dress was made of see-through gauze with a lace pattern as well. She looked absolutely stunning.

"With this ring, I thee wed…"

_Keep it together, Evangeline! Don't start bawling!_

I wasn't the only one. The only two not sniffling were Lanfan and Hawkeye.

As their vows were said, it was almost as if their voices were far away. Almost as if I was detached from this moment that seemed so surreal, almost like that of a dream – a dream not my own.

At least… until Ed caught my gaze.

He smiled that typical grin, gestured to Roy behind his back, and then at Winry. I raised an eyebrow, trying to understand. He simply chuckled and then pointed at his ring finger, then mine.

I was so confused.

He gave up upon seeing my clueless expression. Odessa nudged me and I jolted, turning just as Winry and Roy were pronounced man and wife. They kissed, passionately, and I clapped and cheered along with everyone else. I couldn't believe it – they were actually married.

Mrs. Winry Rockbell Mustang. It flowed nicely.

We followed out in recession, heading inside for the reception. As I stepped inside and finally was allowed to shiver and make a beeline for the fireplace, I heard a faint chuckle.

"Just as crazy as I remember. Haven't changed a bit, have ya?"

"G-Grandpa?" I whirled around, staring in shock to see Rand and Rowena in the doorway.

"Finally got news it was safe to come back." Rand's gray eyes were dancing. "Congratulations to the newly weds, by the way!" He tossed Roy a bottle of brandy and I groaned. "I'd like to thank ya, Colonel… for raising our grandson as your own."

Allen froze, staring at them. "G-Grandson…?"

Rowena smiled, "Yes, Allen… we heard the news… and just like with Evangeline, we open our home to you with open arms." She hugged him, kissing his cheek.

Tears filled his chocolate irises as Allen hugged her tight. He was a lot quicker to accept them as family than I was. Even so, that didn't stop me from running to the senile old man that sired my father and hugging him.

"I was worried sick!" I shouted. "W-Where have you been?!"

"With a friend," Rand replied. "We had to leave in a hurry… strange people showing up, bothering us about our boy. Why though, after all this time? We couldn't risk them trying to get to you, so we upped and left. Sorry for worrying you, sweet pea."

Allen looked at Roy after a few minutes, "Guess this means… I can go back to Godric now, huh?"

"You…finally accept him as your real father?" Roy replied slowly, obsidian orbs wide.

"Y…Yeah…."

I was grinning. Yes, today was amazing. The reception went by with laughter and happy memories. I wasn't much of a dancer, but I even had the courage to dance with Roy, my brother, Al, and I even stole a dance from Winry – that is, whenever Ed would allow anyone to steal me from his arms.

As we slow danced – something Ed was amazing at, for he was the one who had taught me one winter morning a few weeks back – I pressed my forehead against his. Slate stared into amber for the longest time, just smiling at each other. Moments like this reminded me why I fell for Edward in the first place. The song was pretty.

"'Come near and stand by me, baby. Close enough to reach out and pull you still closer, all that is swelling within me, must be a language I've never spoken till there was you. I fumble, try but I stumble, over all my heart wants to say now,'" Ed sang softly, causing my breath to hitch for I had never heard his singing voice before. And it was just as amazing as everything else about him. "'_Je n'ai pas de mots_, nothing seems to say the way you move me, rushing through me, _Je n'ai pas de mots_, but a promise has been made you can believe this, from the first kiss. It's good that I don't have to speak to know that it's real, _Je n'ai pas de mots_.'"

I kissed his cheek, resting my head on his shoulder as he continued to sing against my ear.

"'Come near and talk to me baby, how did you know you were the dream of this dreamer? Oh god, how I thank you for reading, in my heart the note I didn't even know that I wrote of what I long for. You gave me much more, love is standing beside me. _Je n'ai pas de mots_, nothing seems to say the way you move me, rushing through me. _Je n'ai pas de mots_, but a promise has been made you can believe this, from the first kiss. _Je n'ai pas de mots_, oh! Nothing seems to say the way you move me, rushing through me. _Je n'ai pas de mots_, but a promise has been made you can believe this, from the first kiss. It's good that I don't have to speak to know that it's real. _Je n'ai pas de mots, je n'ai pas de mots, je n'ai pas de mots…_'"

"Ed…" I whispered.

He smiled and kissed my temple, "Eva…"

"Yes?" I was fighting my tears – I refused to let him see me cry.

"One day… let's get married."

I pulled back to search his eyes, take in that goofy grin. "S-Seriously?"

He nodded, gold eyes dancing.

"O-Okay," I managed to smile. "We'll get married."

He kissed my lips, brushing hair behind my ear, playing with the russet strands.

True love was washing itself around the room. Everyone who had a romantic partner was close to them, in ways only they understood, as if they were the only people in the room.

That's how love should be… especially when you know that it's real.

* * *

><p>"Be safe!" we called, as Roy and Winry finally set out for their honeymoon.<p>

Everyone was literally exhausted. It was almost dawn! Laughing, I turned to look around at everyone zonking out in various places of the house.

Al was sprawled across the love seat, Odessa curled against his chest, arms wrapped around each other as they dreamt happily. Den licked Al's fingers occasionally. Allen had just came back down from carrying Sciezka to bed, Ed had taken the 'idiot' emperor Ling and his wife Lanfan up to the guest room. I motioned for Allen to follow me outside.

We stepped out onto the porch, sitting down and looking up at the sunrise. I had come to a decision – one that may very well cause a rift between Ed and me. First, I needed Allen.

"Brother… there's something I need you to do for me. A request at the military."

He raised an eyebrow, "What is it, Eva?"

"…I need you to put in a request to switch guardianship from Ed to you…"


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Winter drifted away and Spring took its place.<p>

The past few weeks had flown by as the brothers prepared for their travel across the desert to the ruins of the great civilization. Despite being denied the right to go with them, I had done my research on Xerxes. Ed had revealed facts that text books did not have.

It was easy for him, considering their father was from Xerxes. He had been a slave and he had been the one to become the human Philosopher's Stone, giving the Dwarf Homunculus a body and to become Father - the creator of the other homunculi that had once hunted the Elrics and tried to destroy Amestris on judgment day.

That was the day Alphonse regained his body.

I had arrived long after all of that, but my arrival seemed to be a trigger to the past - like they had missed something the first time.

Allen had gone to the Führer with my request. Ed got his orders the morning before their departure. I stood in the doorway, rubbing my arm as the guilt ate at me. I watched as he murmured "I understand, sir." before he hung up the phone. He kept his head lowered as he slowly turned, lifting his eyes to look at me.

Those eyes - they were filled with fire.

"Seems your brother has been talking to the higher ups," Ed began his tone nonchalant but I could see a tic had formed in his jaw. "And both the Colonel Bastard and Führer Grumman have agreed to switch guardianship from me to him. Was it his idea?"

Lying now wouldn't solve anything. I was scared, but I knew he would never hurt me. So I took a deep breath, but my hands still clenched at the hem of my shirt.

"It was mine. I figured I'd be safer in Central surrounded by Allen and the rest of the team."

Ed seemed to relax, "So it's only temporary?"

"I assume it is…"

He smiled, walking toward me and brushing my hair from my forehead, where he placed a chaste kiss. I savored the affectionate touch, if only for a moment. He then walked passed me, leaving me to linger in the dim hallway. I pressed my fist to my chest, griping at the buttons of my dress shirt. I felt as if I had betrayed my lover, but I couldn't change my mind now. Tomorrow, Ed and Al would be on their way to Xerxes and I would be on my way to Central.

I felt like breathing was close to impossible, but somehow I was able to keep myself under control. I finally loosened the grip I had on my shirt and lowered my hands, taking a calming breath. I knew this is what had to be done - the course of action I had to take during the Elrics absence.

If only I had the heart to tell them what was really going through my mind the past few months…

So I took a deep breath and tried to spend the rest of the evening with my family as normally as possible. I helped Pinako make dinner, played with Den in the yard for a little while, and even checked in with Odessa who was making some repairs on Ed's automail - Winry was still on her honeymoon with the Colonel in North City.

Al was telling us some stories about Xing over dinner, with Odessa pouting about him wanting to return to the country in the future. He was even considering becoming a State Alchemist too. Ed tried to put his foot down, of course, but his younger brother managed to point out more benefits from joining than the setbacks.

I didn't know what to think, so I kept my mouth shut. My silence didn't go unnoticed as I had hoped. Al was the first to point it out.

"I'm fine!" I hastily lied, dropping some of the food I had been sneaking to Den under the table.

A knowing look passed between the two brothers and I knew I had been caught.

"Look, Eva, we _know _when you're lying."

Sweatdropping, I ground my teeth and avoided looking at them. I wasn't in the mood to share my feelings or be analyzed by them. I wanted to keep my thoughts to myself. I wanted to just keep things calm.

"I'm going to get some air," I replied.

I pushed my chair back and stood up, before hurrying out the back door and away from the house as quickly as possible. Before I even knew it, I was running. I didn't stop until I was back where it all began. Not the cemetery where I first awakened, but rather… the house on the hill, the remains of the past the two brothers I had grown to love with all of my heart had buried.

I brushed my hand against the trunk of the tree, staring out at the river and the mountains. I thought of everything that had happened all those months ago, when I first came to Amestris. I thought of all the fights, all the pieces of the puzzle that had been found. My eyes closed and I took a deep breath.

I felt older, wiser than before. Did I have my father to thank for that? I wasn't so sure. How could I thank a dead man anyway? It had been almost three years since he passed away. It still hurt, but not as much as before. Yes, I still cried. I loved my father - well, the side of him I had known. This side I was discovering long after his death was the side I was indifferent about.

Time lingered and the sky became dark as night fell. I turned, noticing I wasn't alone. Of course, I was taken aback to find Alphonse of all people standing a little ways away, that same tender and charming smile in place as bronze orbs took me in.

Even if it was just for a moment, I felt the remnants of the feelings I once had for him return. If given the proper time and if I had been placed under Al's care instead of Ed's, I knew I could've easily fallen for him. Instead, Fate had ensnared her red threads to the elder brother. I did not question my feelings for Edward - but I could still recall the feelings that I once had for the man in front of me.

"Do you like to come here?"

I gave a nod, but still didn't feel up to talking. Instead I looked back at the village, the lights a distant glow in the distance.

_What would've happened if I had fallen in love with Al instead of Ed?_

I quickly shook those thoughts. Why was my mind trying to confuse me? I knew whom I loved and whom I would marry one day.

Yet when I looked at him again, I suddenly found it harder to breathe. I staggered on reflex, my back hitting the trunk. Al had eliminated a lot of the space between us. There was a moment's hesitation before his warm fingers brushed down my face.

"Ed sure is lucky to have you."

I stared at him, unsure what to think or do. If this was a test, I surely would fail if I responded. There was so much honesty in his eyes, though. I waited for his next move, but he lowered his hand and took a step back. Breathing became an option again, but my stomach was twisting in knots. Guilt, maybe? My thoughts had been far from innocent and it bothered me.

I had missed Alphonse much more than I was willing to admit. I _knew_ that I was in love with Edward… but was there still an echo of something before?

"Why did you follow me?"

"To make sure you were alright. Brother told me about how the Führer switched guardianship to Allen."

"Are you angry…?"

He shook his head, honey bangs falling into his eyes. "No. I know you'll be safe. But Brother…regrets not letting you come with us to Xerxes tomorrow. He thinks you're mad still and you're using Allen as a way to punish him."

"That's not it at all! I realize now, going to Xerxes wouldn't be the best idea for me anyway! I can be much more use in Centr -"

He cut me off, "Evangeline, I know all this."

I hesitated before replying, "You do? But…how…? I only talked to Allen."

"Like I said back at dinner, we _know_ you. You're an open book to us and it's easy to read you." Al took a deep breath, eyes closing. "In the end, I want all this to be over. As soon as it is…I'd like to ask Odessa for her hand in marriage… and I want to see Brother and you get married as well. Do you understand?"

Nodding, I chewed on my lower lip, peeling off the skin with my teeth in nervous habit. The knots had tightened and I felt very sick to my stomach now. It was just one little question…

But why did it feel like if I asked it that my entire world would fall to pieces…?

"Al…t-there's something I really need to ask…"

"What is it?"

I counted the seconds before asking.

"Before…all this happened… if things had been different… do you feel as if you could've ever…loved me?"

His eyes fell half-mast and that sad smile crossed his features as he looked at the moon.

"Yeah,"

I swallowed, feeling my entire body quiver now. Was it fear?

"A-And…what would've…h-happened?"

"I would've given you to my Brother. You're meant to be with him, Eva, no matter what circumstances. Edward and you belong together. Nothing will ever change that."

Then all of my fears and doubts were gone. I felt calm again.

"Thanks, Al."

"Anytime~"

* * *

><p>I didn't know how to say goodbye. Saying goodbye had never really seemed to cross my mind since I met Ed. Other than those first few days under military confinement, we had pretty much always been together. So…this was very awkward.<p>

We stood outside of the house. The day was warm and nice outside, the sky cloudless and it stretched on for what seemed like forever. The boys were dressed in loose fitting clothes - they were about to cross a desert. They had their gear and they looked anxious. I could tell Ed didn't want to leave me behind, but he had already come to the decision that I would not go to Xerxes with them.

I checked the time on the pocket watch, knowing my train would be arriving in the station within the hour. We were heading in different directions. We would have to say goodbye now.

I could tell that Ed wasn't about to make the initiative in this case. He was standing with his hand rubbing the back of his neck, focusing more on the sky rather than look at me. Al and Odessa were saying their soft goodbye, sharing one last kiss with the mechanic teary-eyed.

Sighing, I placed my bag on the ground. Before Edward could even react, I had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, jerking him forward as I stood on tiptoe. Our lips crushed together and I heard a muffled protest, peeking to see his face was stark red before I shut my eyes again. Soon his lips moved against my own, before I pulled back the moment I sensed he was calm.

"Don't get killed."

"Same to you."

"And call me the moment you're back in Amestris."

"Already planned on it."

"Don't flirt with other girls."

"Wouldn't dream of it~"

I smiled a bit and then whispered, "Don't miss me too much."

He squeezed my rear, causing me to squeak and he stole a kiss. "Can't promise that one~" Another cheeky grin ensued.

I kissed him one last time and whispered softly, "I love you."

He nodded and I then turned to pick up my bag. I couldn't turn around again - I was fighting my emotions and it was a losing battle. I hated this so much. I wanted nothing more than to go with them.

"Hey, Evangeline!"

I turned slightly, "What?" I demanded.

"When you see Mustang, let him know he owes me a rematch!"

I blinked, "Uhh…."

Ed and Al were already walking away.

"H-Hey! Just what are you talking about!?"

The last I heard of Ed was his laughter.

Sighing, I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked toward the station. I didn't speak - there was no need to. All I could do was keep moving forward. The station was deserted. I sat on the bench and waited. I didn't feel as sad as I had expected. I felt determined and as if we were doing the right thing. The rest of my emotions were…muted.

I wanted it to stay that way.

The train arrived and I boarded, finding my seat and watching the scenery going by. It was serene, seeing nature and not having to really think about anything. There wasn't anyone to converse with, so I could focus on nothing. I wondered where I would go in this life. Thoughts of Earth had long left me. I had no desire to return there. I was content with this world and life; I was happy.

Happiness had once been so fleeting and surreal.

Now it was what kept me motivated to keep moving forward despite all the hardships that awaited me.

_Growl… gurgle…_

Flushing, I crossed my arms over my stomach. "Whoops…must be hungry…"

I was suddenly famished. Getting up, I found where I could purchase something to eat. Even after eating two sandwiches, I was still hungry. I chose to ignore it for the remainder of my train ride, deciding to make my dear brother take me out to dinner. He was my new caretaker after all. With a sadistic smirk, I glanced at my reflection.

Suddenly, the little girl I had been so long ago was replaced by a young woman.

_Bring on the hell. I'll be of some use to you after all, Ed. I promise._

* * *

><p><em>I can't believe you…you pervert…<em>

I never once thought my own brother could have a perverted side. Maybe it was because he was my brother I hadn't seemed to notice it. So when he agreed to take me to dinner, I was thrilled.

I was, however, not thrilled about the fact it was formal attire and I was in a little black dress that I did not ever want to be seen wearing in public. Even for this time, it seemed a bit on the promiscuous side. I wasn't sure if that was my opinion because of the time period or the fact I was a tomboy at heart.

The bastard has a triumphant smirk on his face as we got our photograph taken - much to my dismay - by an eager Tori who had helped me get "ready". Ready as in the redhead had psychotically forced me into the clothes using blackmail. Said blackmail being she had heard from Odessa about Edward's and my relations and she had evidence she would most likely give to my perverted elder brother if I didn't cooperate.

I wore nylon tights under the dress, which went to just above my knees. It was like a sleeveless turtleneck, so I didn't have any cleavage revealed. A pair of black strappy kitten heels adorned my feet. I wore the ruby necklace Ed had given me and a pair of silver bangles rested on my wrist. My hair was left down.

Allen was dressed in a soft cream colored dress shirt with the top buttons undone and a pair of trousers and nice dress shoes. He wore a blazer as well, but that was soon discarded after we were seated. He grinned at me.

"I can't wait to show all the officers at the tavern how cute my little sister is~"

"You do and I'll stab you," I replied nonchalantly, fork in hand.

Laughing, Allen smiled at me. All I could do was stare dully at him.

Who knew my brother was so…odd? Okay, I was odd, but he took the cake. Literally. He just swiped some cake from the waiter's cart when he was distracted by another couple demanding his attention.

I facepalmed, watching him from the crevices of my fingers as he eagerly licked his fork like a little kid. How was I supposed to believe he was in his twenties with that kind of behavior?

"So how does it feel to be back in Central? Oooh, strawberry!"

I blinked as I lowered my hand, tipping my head as I watched the man-child before me. His question required an answer, but I wasn't sure how I felt. The last time I had been here, I nearly died.

"It seems peaceful than before."

He paused before shrugged, returning to delving into the sweetness of his stolen dessert. I waited for him to stop greedily licking the crumbs off his plate. He finally noticed my staring and stopped in mid-motion, tongue latched onto the plate and blinking his visible brown eye. I raised a brow and he sheepishly put the plate down.

"You want to talk about something?"

"Obviously,"

"What's the matter?"

"Other than my questioning how poor Sciezka is going to handle marrying a man-child like you…" I smirked at the expression on his face before continuing, now serious. "I need to know if there are any leads on the men who attacked you and have been harassing me."

His own demeanor changed back to serious, "We do. It's being checked out by Fuery and Tori. If things go correctly, we should be able to find their hideout within soon."

"I'm going with you, you know."

Allen nodded, looking a bit solemn. He reached under his dress shirt and removed one of his pistols. I eyed it as he placed it on the table, my eyes darting to the other patrons. No one seemed to notice as he placed it close to my hand. Instead of pulling my hand away and into my lap, it inched toward the gun.

"Have you ever fired one?"

I shook my head.

"I'll take you to the gun range along with Lt. Hawkeye and Lt. Havoc. Especially if you want to be involved in the case. I'm leading the team, along with Havoc."

I nodded and pushed his gun back toward him. He placed it back where it belonged - out of sight. Our meal arrived shortly after, Allen discreetly discarding his cake plate on the cart. I sighed and began to eat, thinking back to a time and place where Ed and I could enjoy a romantic evening out.

We never had that kind of luxury, though. The only person who had ever taken me out on a date was my own bro -

"Oh my god, you are such a pervert!" I hissed, stomping on his foot.

I left Allen crying in pain, but not before I caught him stealing a picture of my retreating form with the camera he had on him.

The next thing we knew, we were being thrown out for "disorderly conduct" and sitting on the grass outside of the restaurant. We looked at each other before bursting into laughter, making faces at the people before we wandered down the Central city streets, arm-in-arm, and singing the National anthem.

This was one of the reasons I loved my brother…

He was a reminder that a piece of my father still lived. His perverted, sadistic sense of humor had been passed down to his son.

We ended up by the river, skipping rocks. I had taken off those damn heels by now. Allen had a flask of alcohol on him. I snagged it and drank some to get the edge off. I felt lighter, but suddenly everything seemed so damn funny.

I giggled, pushing on Allen until he stumbled, taking me with him. We rolled across the grass, me lying lightly on his chest. He managed to snag the flask back from me, groaning as he realized what I had done. I was fascinated with his collar, trying to make it even and unwrinkled.

"Hey, Eva, c'mon. This is a little weird."

"Y-You're a little…weird…" I broke into more giggles. "C'mon, give Sissy a kiss~ I know you wanna!"

I was joking of course, but the blush that was evident on dear old big brother's face meant he took it literally. He tried to push me at arms length, but I refused to give up my mission to smooth out his shirt. Teasing him, I pursed my lips, making kissing noises at him. I felt a little cold on my legs and tried to fix the hem of my dress, but I gave up. His hand rested on my waist, trying to use leverage to push me away. He kept crying out that I was weird and I have an incest fetish. I only laughed it off and continued to tease him.

"Says…the one who…made me go out…wearin' this…sleezy getup…"

"It's not sleezy! That happens to be Sciezka's!"

"Oh, so the sexy bookworm dresses naughty for Big Brother~ kinky!"

"E-Eva, you r-really need to sober up like _now_!"

"Why, afraid you're gonna get caught hitting on your own little sister!~"

"Dammit, Eva, this isn't funny!"

I only continued to giggle, my nylons slipping on the grass as I finally managed to get my hands on his collar. I felt his hand slip; now resting on the back of my thigh as he fought to push me away. I had locked myself in his lap, him pinned.

"No more incest fantasies, got it~" I smirked. "Otherwise you're gonna be in big trouble~"

Allen sighed, "Alright, alright, no more taking my sister out to nice places. You win."

"Yay, victory is mine!" I cheered, nuzzling him.

He jolted and went rigged, trying to shift me off. Finally I rolled off him and grabbed the flask he had dropped. He snatched it from me, face bright red. I snickered at how uncomfortable he looked. Though in the morning, I'd regret it. At least we hadn't kissed.

"NO MORE DRINKING!" He snarled.

I countered with, "NO MORE PERVINESS!"

Let's just say that night was never spoken of again.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Military life was a strange adjustment.<p>

I lived with Allen in his small apartment. I didn't mind sleeping on the couch or following Allen around Central HQ. However, to prevent others from taking too much notice of me, I was required to wear a military uniform. I opted for the pants instead of a skirt, especially after that little incident weeks ago. I swore to never impulsively drink ever again, no matter how stressed I had been, and tease my brother. All it had done was cause an awkward air between us.

I left the blazer in the office with Tori, who had become my new best friend during the weeks I had been in Central. She told me all the gossip, sarcastically challenged Allen whenever he would get on her to get to work and do her job as Mustang's secretary - the work load was piling up while he was on his extended honeymoon, which was his vacation time for the year - and Victoria Olsen was one to gripe about his sexist womanizing tactics.

I helped her out sometimes, with minor things such as filing and running to get the team coffee. Fuery and I sometimes got to chat over lunch in the meal hall. I got the inside scoop from Tori about how Havoc and Hawkeye were secretly seeing one another. Hawkeye had once been romantically involved with the Colonel, but given their history; they eventually went back to being friends and comrades-in-arms. After Havoc recovered from being paralyzed, due to Marcoh, Hawkeye and he started to spend time together outside of the office.

Right now I had a strange request. Allen was busy taking care of some business with Breda, so I was free to do whatever I saw fit. Unlike Ed, my brother didn't feel the need to keep me in sight at all times. He knew I was safe within headquarters, especially with all the military personal knowing I was a VIP and to be protected at all times. Ross and Brosh somehow popped up whenever I wasn't with anyone from Roy's team.

For once, I was by myself. I glanced at my reflection, my long hair clipped back much like Hawkeye's, and I was wearing a short-sleeve black turtle neck. I was armed; the holster for the ruby pistol was against the small of my back, easy to access if I needed it. I had been learning how to use it and I was getting better. I still shook during target practice though, and given a scenario where I had to shoot someone… I knew it would be difficult to pull that trigger unless it was a life or death situation.

I prayed to whatever God was listening that wouldn't be the case.

My boots padded against the floor, my footsteps echoing down the vacant corridor. I was heading for the Führer's office. It would be my first meeting with the elderly man alone, along with the first visit in months. I wasn't nervous, simply curious as to what he wanted to discuss with me.

The soldiers stationed outside of the office greeted me and allowed me passage. I stepped inside the tidy office area, seeing the friendly secretary give me a nod. I smiled at her before heading to where the Führer was waiting. He wasn't at his desk, but rather by the window - made with bullet proof glass, of course - and was at a small table that had a chessboard set up, along with some tea and finger sandwiches. Blinking in surprise, I wasn't sure how to react to the sight. Grumman merely turned to me, smile in place.

"Miss Godric…it's been awhile."

"Yes, it has, sir." I had immediately saluted the man.

"At ease," he chuckled. "Not even a soldier, but you have the potential, my dear. Come, have a seat and some tea with me."

I crossed the room and took my seat across from him, watching as he poured the brown steamy beverage into a white porcelain cup. I held up two fingers as he placed the lumps of sugar into it, stirring it before handing the cup on a small saucer to me. I took it with a small smile, blowing on it before sipping. The warmth on my throat was pleasant, and he offered me a sandwich. I shook my head and waited until he spoke.

"So, Miss Godric," he began.

I cleared my throat a little, "Please, just call me Evangeline."

Grumman chuckled, "Alright then, Evangeline~" The smirk on his face reminded me of that senile old man back in Resembool. Suddenly, I regretted granting him permission to use my given name, rather than my nickname. I watched as he picked up one of his chess pieces, examining it. "Do you play?" He indicated toward the chessboard.

I nodded, "It's been quite awhile though. I used to play with my father sometimes, along with Uncle Jesse. It was one of those past times we did whenever the mood felt right. I'm not very good, to be honest."

"How about we have a game while we have our discussion?"

"Er…alright, sir. If that's what you would like."

"Very good! Now which do you prefer?"

My slate orbs flickered to the pieces and I pointed at the black. He turned the board and we began our game. It was standard at first, moving and capturing pawns before bringing out the other pieces. I favored my knights but he had a knack for his rooks and bishops.

"So what would you like to discuss with me?"

"I would like for you to tell me more about your world. I'm simply fascinated by it."

I hesitated. Truth be told, it was hard to recall the simplest of facts about my home world and country. I had grown so accustomed with Amestris and her customs, I had nearly forgotten about where I had come from. Yet the genuine interest expressed on his face made me nod in agreement.

"What would you like to know?"

"What kind of democracy do you have?"

"The country is broken up into fifty individual states, ruled united under a Congress and the president."

"I see, so politicians are needed."

"I would compare your country to Germany, actually."

And thus the comparison began. The more he asked, the more distracted I was from the game. I was cornered and sighed, placed in check more than once. Yet the conversation would not end until the game did.

Finally, I was in checkmate and smiled.

"Good game," I held out my hand.

He took it, shaking it briefly. The game was finished - and so was our discussion, much to my relief - but I noticed that he was eying me again.

"You mentioned an uncle? I was under the impression your father was an only child."

"He is. Jesse was just my godfather and my father's assistant. He lived with us, though, and had always been in my life. My mother didn't care for him very much, however. He was the one looking after me after she walked out on us when I was around nine. With Dad working all the time, it was hard for him to pay attention to me, so… Jesse filled his shoes."

"What kind of a man was he?"

"Smart, but unlike my father, he thought more with his emotions. He was always concerned about him and me. Whenever I was bullied or unhappy at school, Jesse would attend the parent-teacher conferences. He was like a second-father to me in a lot of ways."

"And what was his full name, if you don't mind me asking."

"I think it was Jesse Hawthorne. Why do you -" I stopped.

My heart was racing.

_Why…why didn't I see it…before…?_

Hawthorne.

_Lillian Hawthorne was the name of Allen's mother, my father's first love…_

"I believe the Shadow Alchemist was not the only Amestrian to pass through the gate the first time."

Swallowing hard, I could only lower my gaze to my lap. How could I have not remembered that crucial little fact? Had it been because the surname seemed common? It wasn't, honestly, but to me…

That just proved things were in fact, real. Both my father and his personal assistant had been sent through the gate, but only Randurdor had returned through the gate. Then, to ensure that I would be brought through, Allen had sacrificed his very arm…

"Evangeline, did I say something upsetting?"

"No, sir. It's just I'm still sickened by the heartless acts my father committed regarding my brother."

"Your father was a good man, and Allen made the sacrifices he did by his own choice. No one forced him down and stole his arm, you know."

I had a bitter taste in my mouth, but no amount of tea could wash it away. Grumman cleared his throat a second later, and I glanced at him. I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I looked feral - that wicked gleam dancing in my eyes.

Despite my ill feelings toward him, my father lived within me.

"How is Fullmetal doing these days, anyway?"

The abrupt change of topic seemed to ease some of the anger boiling within me, but I knew I would have to leave soon to blow off some steam. I glanced at the clock, mentally making plans within the next half an hour. I sipped more tea.

The bitterness wouldn't wash down.

"He's doing quite well. Alphonse and he are checking out a few leads of their own. I decided to come to Central and see what I could do here. Besides, I have to be protected, and what better place than Central Headquarters?"

Meeting his eyes, I saw a flicker there. He suspected something, but I remained stoic. I wouldn't reveal Ed and Al's location. I just hoped they came home soon.

The phone rang, causing me to jolt. Grumman walked over to the desk and answered it. He covered the receiver with his hand.

"It seems you have a call, Evangeline. I have some other business to attend to. I hope that we can chat again sometime."

I nodded, smiling. "Sure thing,"

As I went to leave, he said one more thing. "Next time though, I'll sure to be retired. There's a certain spark within the military that may as well catch on fire…and rise to the top. I'm ready to step down as soon as he returns."

_Roy._

"I do believe that will be the right decision, sir."

With that, I left the office.

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Eva, it's so great to hear your voice!"

I blinked and nearly collapsed, having to grab the wall for support. "Alphonse?!"

"You sound shocked,"

"You sound happy."

"Well, Brother and I are back home. Ed's getting some maintenance done, so I figured I'd give you a call and let you know."

I smiled, absentmindedly twirling the phone cord. "How is he anyway?"

"Whining about missing you. He said he even misses the way your hair smells. I think it's kind of cute."

My face warmed for the first time in what seemed like forever. I gave a small squeak of embarrassment, which earned me a chuckle.

"He wants to know when we should come see you~"

"I'm good for now. You guys just take some time for yourselves, okay? Allen's taking great care of me and I'm fine."

"Oh…well…if you say so, Eva."

"I'll see you soon. Tell Ed I miss him. Goodbye."

"Bye."

Hanging up, I took a deep breath. Seeing them now would only distract me. I wanted to find out more on the men who had been chasing me. I wanted to solve this before anyone else I loved got hurt. I just wanted it all to end already.

Without a second thought, I went down to the shooting range. I put on the required gear and began to practice my shooting. With every target shot, a little pressure was eased off my mind. I was getting calmer, and the more calm I was, the more precise my shots were. I had just gotten my first vital shot when I heard someone calling for me. Lowering my pistol, I turned to see Allen rushing toward me. He looked a bit frantic.

"What's up?" I asked.

He looked around at the other officers, before indicating toward the exit with his hand. Nodding, I removed the gear and replaced my pistol, following him until we were far from the shooting range. Once we were completely alone and out of earshot, I glanced at the other brunette, eyebrow raised questioningly.

"We found it, Eva."

"Found what, exactly?"

"Their hideout."

It took me about a minute before I could react. I watched his gaze carefully, seeing that this was the truth. My lips quivered but I finally parted them enough to pin my thoughts down in a hushed tone.

"Y-you're…sure?"

"Absolutely. Infiltration is at dawn."

I nodded just as the corridor became occupied with more than us. Ross and Brosh had appeared and were talking frantically to Allen. Their voices were drowned out by the buzzing of my mind.

I managed to break away, stumbling a bit as the shock hit my system. I felt sick and scared, yet also relieved in a sense. I was getting my wish.

This would all be over…

_Tomorrow._


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Darkness.<p>

Closed spaces.

Claustrophobia was settling in.

We lowered ourselves into the darkness, just as light was returning to the world above. The city was just beginning to come alive, and yet here we were, heading deep underground. The scent was rank, to the point bile rose in my throat. I had to turn and hide my face into my shoulder, squinting as I followed Squad Delta. Havoc was leading Squad Alpha a little ways ahead. I was the only civilian among them, but I didn't feel like one. I was taking orders and acting like a soldier. I had been for weeks now - hell, since I came to this country.

We moved quickly and quietly, but the moment we came across two tunnels, Allen and Havoc exchanged a look. They then separated the squads and I found myself in a small tunnel, creeping close behind my brother as we moved along the narrow passage. We had four other soldiers with us, but none of them I was familiar with. They were soldiers under Allen's command - he was a 2nd Lieutenant after all.

My gloved hands gripped the pistol tightly, exposed fingers numb to the cold. My forearms were covered in goosebumps the further we descended into the dark. The smell was bearable, but still made my nostrils burn unpleasantly. It was all I could to keep from gagging every time it worsened.

The further we went, the more noticeable my heart was. It was beating wickedly fast, as if it was desperately trying to burst through my chest. I heard my breath hitch, catching a movement from the corner of my eye.

It was too fast to be a person, but still…

"Allen…"

"What is it?"

"I saw something."

Those words caused him to stop short. The soldiers all pointed their guns around, scope lights searching. I looked around myself, feeling my body freeze as I glanced over my shoulder. There was a small gap behind us, one that was practically unnoticed.

In the darkness, a pair of eyes glowed as red as blood.

I screamed, the sound echoing loud. Distantly, I could hear the shouting from the other squad.

_Gunfire._

I fell back, landing in the water as the monster lunged. It was a cross between animals. I knew already, alchemy had created these beasts.

"Chimeras! Watch yourselves!"

Allen's began to shout orders as gunfire was shot. Blood splashed the walls, of both chimera and human. Two of the soldiers were killed, ripped to shreds in a frenzy of claws and teeth, right in front of my eyes.

I felt myself beginning to crack from the bloody massacre. I tried to fire my gun, but I was paralyzed. One of the hybrids locked its bloodthirsty gaze on me. All I saw were fangs and I couldn't even scream. Fear had shackled around me.

I couldn't even shut my eyes as the beast lunged. My finger tried to squeeze the trigger, but I was frozen solid. Unlike any other moment where I grazed alongside Death, I didn't have time to think about anyone or anything.

One gun shot stood out from the others, maybe because there was the cackling and light of an alchemic reaction along with it. All I could do was watch, horrified, as the beast exploded. Its blood coated all over me, and my voice was heard in a terrified shriek. The beast was dead, but it wasn't the only one.

The only creatures that remained breathing were Randurdor Godric's children.

"Eva…Eva!"

The splashing of the water filled my ears. Suddenly, I was aware of it having seeped through my pants. The material clung to my body but all I could think about was the chimera dying just as it was about to kill me. The fact I was covered in its blood.

Cold.

_I feel so cold…_

Then, the warmth enveloped around me as I felt Allen embrace me tight, hand pressed to the back of my head. The tears were spilling over and I was shaking, my entire body surrendering to the sobs. He whispered words of comfort and helped me stand. I refused to let go of my weapon though, my finger still on the trigger.

"Let's move."

He didn't wait for my response, merely grasping my arm in a vice and pulling me behind him. My feet moved mechanically until we were running. I didn't slow down or stop, no matter how much my legs screamed in protest, or how hard my breathing became.

Then, I heard it. The sound of running behind us, deadly snarls.

More chimeras had come to hunt their prey.

Allen shot behind us, but I dared not look and see how many he managed to kill. We rounded a corner and I saw debris - signs of the other squad had been here. I was relieved so see that Havoc wasn't among the dead. Allen shoved me behind some broken stone, shielding me.

My hands covered my ears, but I could still hear my own whimpers.

_I'm only seventeen! I'm an innocent girl! I'm not meant to kill or die like this!_

My cowardice thoughts wouldn't leave me be. I was crying again, trembling with fear and unable to control my raging emotions. My whimpers became desperate pleas for it all to stop. Allen was still fighting.

Something came over me and I lunged from my hiding spot, firing my gun blindly. I heard the howls of agony from the chimeras. I fired until I was almost out of rounds.

"Eva!"

Whirling, my finger squeezed the trigger before I could stop myself. I dropped the gun not even twenty seconds later, watching in horror as Allen clutched his arm, blood dripping profusely down it. He looked at me, trying to mask the pain, but I saw through it.

_I…s-shot…Brother…_

"E-Eva…I'm alright!"

He was lying. He had to be. I just shot him!

"It's just a graze, Evangeline! I'm alright!"

Shaking my head, I staggered away from him. He reached out his metal hand to try and grab me, but I was already running. Fleeing the guilt and self-hate that ate at me. I had wounded my own flesh-and-blood.

My own protector.

I wasn't strong. My cowardice had ruled me. I shouldn't have come like this.

"Ed…ward…"

My hands braced the cold stone. I was alone now. The fighting was gone. The only sound I had was the rushing of water and my own breathing.

"Al…ph…onse…"

_Where are they? Why haven't they come for me?_

"Ed…Al…"

I started to pick up speed again, clenching my eyes shut. I was unarmed, I was scared, and I was defenseless.

Helpless…

"_**DAMMIT, EDWARD, ANSWER ME!**_"

I tripped, gasping loudly as the wind was knocked out of me. My eyes opened as I realized something was much different from before. The sounds of the atmosphere didn't fit. My skin was on fire from being scraped open on my forearms. My scarred cheek was throbbing, bruised from the fall.

I managed to get my feet underneath myself, palms pressed to the concrete. The water was gone. All there was… was stone.

Lifting my head, I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the light. I heard footsteps and then the cocking of pistols. I was surrounded by men in dark clothes, all pointing their weapons at my head. There had to be at least seven.

"Get up."

I complied, slowly.

"She's unarmed."

"Put your hands behind your head."

My arms lifted, doing as they said. Frantically, my eyes looked around. How I ended up here, I didn't know. I was scared again, but this time I knew better than to freeze up. Otherwise, I would die for sure.

"She's a soldier."

"Impossible, she's just a child!"

"Hold it," the one who seemed in charge took a step closer. I ground my teeth as he roughly grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. I winced as he yanked the hair piece out, freeing my bound locks.

"It's her! The Messenger!"

I was grabbed, wrists held behind my back. Cries of pain escaped me, involuntarily trying to free myself.

"Stop squirming, bitch!"

The sound of flesh connecting rang in my ears and my bruised cheek was on fire. I had been backhanded across the face, spitting out blood a second later. I felt it running down my chin before I looked back at the men. I had stopped fighting, realizing that they could do much worse to me.

I didn't want to end up like Rose… a young woman from Liore, carried off by soldiers and raped repeatedly. She was now a single mother because of it and still emotionally scarred. Cooperating might be the only thing I could do.

_Here I stand, helpless and left for dead…_

I didn't want to believe that. I wanted to believe that someone would come for me, find me. I couldn't save myself this time.

_I believe in you, Edward…please… please come save me…_

"You promised…" I whispered, "You said you'd protect me…"

"Talking to yourself now? Sure is weird."

"What do you expect? She's _his_ kid."

The man holding me jerked me around. We were moving now, heading toward one of the several passageways.

_I'm so fucking stupid._

"Edward…"

"Stop whining for your boyfriend, bitch."

My whimpers increased as I felt him pull my hair. It hurt, but I fought my tears. I didn't want to show them how weak I actually was. Wincing, I felt him then force me on my knees. I bowed my head, clenching my eyes shut.

"_Evangeline…_"

"Open your eyes!"

I cried out as he pulled my hair again, forcing me to look up. My eyes widened in the reflection of the blade he had pulled out, now holding it to my throat. My gaze was forced ahead, up to what looked like a dais.

A chair, in the center of a transmutation circle, a man half-dead lifting his head slowly. He was practically skin and bones, hair long and matted, beard on his face. He was shackled to the chair, wearing what looked like a tattered lab coat.

At first, I didn't recognize the man, but when I saw his grey eyes...

I knew.

"…Daddy…?"

His cracked lips formed a small smile, "It's been awhile, Evangeline."


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Randurdor Godric was <em>alive.<em>

This was a truth I had not been expecting, a fact that had been cast away at first glance. Yet there was no way to believe the man before me was a ghost or a representation of memory. This man, this half-dead man held captive and wasting away, was my own father.

A face I hadn't seen for two years, still recognizable. Even with sunken in eyes and skin tinted ashen from not having seen sunlight in so long, I would always know that face and those eyes.

Eyes that I looked into the mirror with everyday, eyes that danced impishly with every smile that senile old man back in Resembool gave as he teased me, and eyes that had seemed to watch over me in the form of rain clouds.

Metamorphosis claimed me in the form of shock. Fear was no longer an option in this case. To finally know the truth - that my father was still breathing - invigorated me with strength I didn't realize I had until that moment.

A Daughter's love was strong enough to save us both.

Memories flooded through my mind, everything I had been taught came rushing back. I broke free, knocking the man holding me off his feet and disarming him. Lunging, I rolled and snatched the knife, landing in a crouch and turning toward the men. Gun shots fired, but I dodged them, taking cover behind one of the many pillars that surrounded the room.

I fumbled into my pocket, withdrawing a Xingese flash bomb. Al had smuggled them for me to use in case something happened again. Throwing one, I waited until the screams and the flashing light dimmed down before making my move. I was quick, knocking out three men with the handle of my blade before turning. One had recovered from the flash bomb, aiming to shoot at me.

I snatched his arm in a grip Ed had taught me, twisting it until he dropped his gun. I used my foot to kick it away, and then threw him over my shoulder, drop kicking him in the stomach and then dislocating his arm.

_Four down, three to go._

Turning, I then lunged for the gun. I managed to grab it, rolling onto my back and firing. I got one guy in the leg, knocking him down. He went to shoot at me again, but two more shots sent his gun clear across the room. I turned my gun toward another, but he was fleeing the room, discarding his own weapon and fleeing for his life.

That left the asshole who had tried to slit my throat.

My leg was pretty messed up from all the rough movements, but I got to my feet. I turned to fire at him but I was out of rounds.

"Shit,"

Discarding the useless pistol, I ran after him. I still had the knife. The man was heading toward my father.

"Dad!"

The man cackled and reached the circle. Red alchemic light filled the room, with me barely able to shield my eyes. Dad screamed, his entire body being shocked. My body froze up.

"YOU BASTARD!"

I lost it, completely. I lunged for the man, knocking him away from the circle. Whatever alchemy was still in process and there wasn't any way for me to stop it. I managed to knock the behemoth down, knife at his throat. He tried to fight me off, but I was small and quick.

"Eva, don't!"

I thought it was Dad who had screamed that, but I was wrong. I was seconds away from shoving the knife into the man's chest when Allen came into sight. What he was holding though, I didn't expect.

_Dad's pocket watch…_

"Bad mistake, little girl!"

Air left my lungs as his meaty hands locked around my throat. Choking, I barely managed to stab the knife into his shoulder. Allen had one of his pistols out in a heartbeat, firing once.

Once was all it took for the man to die.

I rolled off his corpse, crawling toward the circle and gasping for air. I had to reach Dad. I had to save him!

"Da…ddy!" I rasped, reaching my hand out to him.

"EVANGELINE! DON'T TOUCH THE CIRCLE!"

_That voice…_

Turning slowly, I felt as if everything had been a dream. A nightmare that was now coming to a close. Allen had opened the pocket watch, it lying by his feet. Blood was pooling down his arm, his metal hand grasped around the red stone I had kept hidden. The memory of removing it from the metal box after Al had nearly came across it came back to haunt me in that instant.

_The Philosopher's Stone. The Grand Elixir. The Celestial Stone._

"ALLEN DON'T!"

He didn't know how to use it…

_He could die!_

"I'm going to save all of us! Including our father! Just stay where you are, dammit!"

"You don't have to do this! You don't have to die for me! You've done enough!"

"Goddammit, you're my little sister! It's my job to protect you and make up for what that bastard sitting up there did to us!"

_No…_

I had to stop him. Looking down at the bloody knife embedded in the dead man, I moved before he could even react. I yanked it out and staggered forward, entering the circle.

"Evangeline, no!" Dad croaked.

"Shut up!" I snapped at him, eyes livid. "I'm tired of everyone thinking I can't do a single _fucking_ thing right!"

I took that step, grinding my teeth and ignoring the burning shocks that seemed to lacerate my skin. Reaching my father, I shoved the tip of the blade into the lock, busting the shackles. Once he was free, I pulled him to his feet and pushed him out of the circle. The moment he stepped out though, there was a loud painful shock that seemed to hit my chest. I clutched it, feet giving out and looking toward my father and brother.

"Evangeline!"

Allen darted forward, dropping the stone.

Everything seemed to slow down, just like it had done when I had seen Truth, falling from the hotel all those months ago. Allen was trying to get to me just as the sound of what sounded like heavy doors echoed through the room, my father snatched up the stone, and Amestrian soldiers came charging into the room from the entrance, being led by two people I had begged to come save me.

Ed and Al ran across the room as soon as they realized what was happening seconds before I did.

A flash of red light…

Ed fell to his knees, screaming as my father pressed the Philosopher's Stone to his chest. Al grabbed him by the back of his coat, trying to yank him back before realizing a split second later that my father was _restoring_ Edward's body.

_It's time to learn the truth, Messenger~_

"Truth…" I whispered, finally looking up.

The gate was open.

_Messenger. Angel. Reaper. God._

My namesake was clear.

"EDWARD!"

That was the last thing I managed to say before I felt my entire body being jerked through the air. I screamed, desperately reaching out. He had lunged, right hand grasping mine, flesh on flesh, trying to pull me back.

It was like of a vortex, but only I was the only thing being sucked into the gate. I clutched at Ed's hand, looking into his eyes. Tears brimmed them, the gold shade wide.

"No…no! Dammit, I won't lose you!"

"D-Don't let go! Ed, please don't!"

I felt him slipping. Al grabbed my arm too, the two of them being held firmly to the ground by the soldiers. The sound of cloth ripping reached my ears. My clothes were being destroyed by the high velocity of the air.

My eyes left the Elrics for only a moment.

Allen was holding our father in his arms. He was barely breathing, shaking as he was pressing the Philosopher's Stone to his chest.

"DAD!"

He turned to me, tears of resentment and remorse flowing freely. It had been the first time I had seen my father cry.

"And now…all atonement has been paid. All sins will be erased and all wrongs righted. I love you… both of you. This is…goodbye…"

He died.

I screamed.

And the last thing I saw was Edward Elric on his knees, releasing the loudest howl of heartbreaking agony I had ever heard as I was pulled through the gate once again.

* * *

><p><em>Rain…<em>

It hit my skin, like icy needles. I shot up, disoriented as I tried to recognize my surroundings. Grave markers surrounded me, and I fell back and saw broken stone wings of an angel statue sheltering most of me. I also saw a face I hadn't seen in a very long time, realizing I was laying in his lap, him wrapping up my wounds and pressing a cold compress to my cheek.

I couldn't stop the tears. My father had just died - for real - and I had been wrenched away from my family. The image of Ed howling on his knees as I was taken through the gateway remained etched in my mind.

"Shh…I'm here…"

Jesse wiped the tears, allowing me to curl onto my side and sob into his stomach. He stroked my hair, shrugging off his coat and draping it over me as I cried. How he knew to be here, I hadn't a clue. All I knew was that I was back.

I was back on Earth.

"Honey, I'm here…it's okay…you're home…"

"I'm not okay! I'm not, I'm not!"

"Evangeline…"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT GODFORSAKEN NAME! IT'S JUST EVA! EVA!"

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest like I was a little girl again.

"…Evangeline…"

I don't know how long I cried. Hours maybe. It only seemed to rain harder, making the pain worsen. I felt so weak, so lost. I felt just like I did the first time I went through the gate - scared.

I wasn't alone, but I felt empty inside. Of course I did. I was reliving the grief all over again over losing my father. I had been torn away from my brother, Allen, who I had grown so close to in the time of us being together.

I was torn away from the one place I had ever felt had been Home to me.

Moreover, I had been taken away from…

"Edward…"

"Eva, he's not here."

"Edward!"

Jesse shook me a bit, but all I could do was say his name.

"Edward, Edward, Edward!"

"Eva!"

"I WANT EDWARD! I WANT TO BE WITH ED! AND ALPHONSE TOO! SEND ME BACK! DAMMIT! SEND ME BACK!"

I was hitting him now, shaking him.

"YOU'RE AN ALCHEMIST, SEND ME BACK!"

Jesse grabbed my fists, forcing me to look into those chocolate brown eyes that were identical to Allen's in every way. His dark red hair was longer now, unkempt and falling past his chin. I bit down on my lip, reading the bitter truth in his eyes.

He couldn't. Alchemy didn't work on this side of the gate.

I buried my face into his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.

_How could this have happened?  
><em>

"This isn't Equivalent Exchange…" I realized, jerking back. His coat fell from my shoulders as I tried to stagger to my feet. I didn't care that I was raving mad and yelling at the sky. "This isn't equivalency, Truth! My toll had been paid, dammit!"

I whirled as Jesse grabbed my hand, only to freeze. The glow of flames was in the distance. The family house was being burned to the ground. I looked down at him, seeing the look of torment on my godfather's face.

"You…burned the house down…"

"I had to,"

"Why?! All our memories were there!"

"That's…exactly why."

I watched as Jesse slowly got to his feet. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against him. Crying was pointless now, so I let the numbness wash over me instead. It was easier to think this way.

"I had to burn down the house…get rid of everything…that devil alchemy…"

"You're…Allen's uncle aren't you…?"

"Yes…Lillian was my elder sister. I was just a kid when she met Randurdor… when Allen was born, I would watch him when your father and my sister were doing research… she was the only family I had. She died though… I didn't know what to do or think. Randurdor took me in and we left Allen with his godmother… and we ended up coming through the gate, together. I was told to keep this all from you… but I can't anymore. You've _been_ there, you know the truth."

"We have to find a way back!" I cried, hysterical again.

"Shh…" He shushed against my ear, "There is one more sacrifice to be made… and then all the wrongs will be right again…"

"What are you talking abo-"

I went rigid, feeling as if someone had punched me right in the stomach. It wasn't Jesse - no, his arms had been around me.

I was suddenly by myself, in that realm of white once again. The gateway stood before me. Breathing heavily, I dug my nails into my gloved palm, slowly turning. I kept my head bowed for the longest moment, waiting.

"I pray this is the last time we meet, Truth."

The grinning being didn't say anything, merely sat before me. The doors creaked open after the longest moment.

"What price was paid for this?"

"A life for a life~"

"My father's death?"

"He gave up his alchemy in exchange for restoring anothers body using the stone. And in exchange for bringing you through the gate once more… you'll find out soon enough."

"Is this the last time we'll meet?"

Truth nodded, "You've paid your price, Messenger."

Relief filled me, "I can go…home…"

"Not exactly."

With that, I was pulled into the gate.

Back to Amestris. Back to Home. Back to Ed.

It was finally over…

Equivalent Exchange.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated. 

* * *

><p>Everything had happened so quickly.<p>

There wasn't a joyous reunion when I awoke on the other side of the gate. There was apprehension. I didn't have the military's back anymore - I was once again labeled under suspicion and it was my father's doing. I wasn't the only one in confinement, at least in the beginning.

Allen had been placed under confinement as well, but he was released due to Roy's influences. There had been no help for Jesse or me, however. My godfather had also gone through the gate, back to his own world. He was taking the fall for all the wrongs my father had done.

I had left the realm of white, but only to be locked in a white room with bars over the only window. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into a months. Seasons changed.

Spring was gone and summer had come. My room was small, big enough for a small cot. The only faces I saw were through a small space through a thick metal door. I was interrogated daily. I told them all I knew.

Amestris had nearly been swallowed by a black hole. I was suspected of having been involved with the creation of it. That damn transmutation and my father had been the trigger. Shadow Alchemy.

Devil's alchemy.

It was late September when I was finally able to leave that little white room. By then, I was sure I had gone mad. I could feel the cold wall I leaned against, the agony that had racked through me, my cries ignored until I had gone silent. The white gown I wore was now stained crimson.

Truth had taken something from me after all. My father's death hadn't been the payment in the end.

I looked at the pool of blood around me, staining my legs and seeing the tears mixing with the blood.

"My baby…"

Truth had taken my unborn child from me. I had been pregnant and didn't even know it until it was far too late. Now the remains of my child were in front of me, and all I could do was sit there and cry.

After hours, unable to move, someone finally came to check on me. At first sight, they thought I had committed suicide due to the amount of blood pooled around me. Further inspection and I was finally able to see a familiar face. I had never been so happy to see Roy Mustang in my entire life. He held me, despite being covered in blood, as I sobbed and clung to him. He lifted my thin frame in his arms, carrying me and cradling me as he rushed me to the hospital.

My miscarriage had taken its toll on me. I was in the hospital several days before I saw anyone familiar again. When I opened my eyes the morning of my fifth day in the hospital, I was greeted by the sight of my grandparents and brother. A lump scorched my throat, but I had no more tears to shed.

My hand lifted and Rowena took it, pressing it to her warm cheek. Immediately she was stroking my hair, brushing her thumbs against the dark circles under my eyes. I looked away from her, looking at Rand. He took my other hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He looked livid, but was containing himself for my sake.

Allen was the first to break the silence after kissing my forehead, sitting on the bed so I could lean against him.

"Congratulations, Evangeline… you are now an official citizen of the country of Amestris."

I looked at him blankly. He stroked my cheek with his metal hand, brushing some of my loose hair behind my ear. I tipped my head to the side, unsure how to react. I had just been confined for almost six months.

"Roy Mustang is now the Führer of Amestris." Rand explained. "He's the one who managed to get your freedom and citizenship established. You have been cleared of all charges that you were falsely being accused of."

"What about Jesse?"

It had been the first I had spoken.

"He took the fall for you. He'll be spending some time in prison but only five years."

"That isn't fair! He did nothing wrong!"

"He's the one who turned himself in on your behalf…"

I snarled, trying to get out of bed. Allen held me down and glared.

"Stop being so reckless. It was what had to be done and like it or not, life isn't fair!"

"You're talking to a person who had the life of her unborn child stolen! I think I know that life isn't fair, Allen!"

He hesitated, bangs covering his face as he hung his head. His grip on my arms loosened and I managed to pull free.

"I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…"

Wrapping my arms around him, I comforted him.

"So what now?"

"For the time being, you're to remain here in the hospital until you're back to health. Your miscarriage and their treatment have done some harm to you. Once you're back to some healthy vitals, you'll be heading back to Resembool with us." Rand said. "And I don't want to hear any protestin', got it?"

"Yes, Grandpa."

"I'm going to go into town and get you some new clothes and some books." Rowena said.

"I'll go with you," Allen immediately said, starting to get up.

Rand pinned him with a glare, "You ain't goin' anywhere, boy. You're stayin' put and keepin' an eye on your sister, you understand?"

Allen blinked before saluting him, "Yes, sir!"

"Atta boy. Rowena, shall we?" Rand offered his arm to his wife.

She nodded and took it, then two of them leaving. Once we were alone, I looked at Allen. He sighed the moment he read the look on my face.

"You can't see them yet."

"I want to see Ed and Al _now_."

"You can't."

"WHY NOT?!"

"This is a military hospital and neither of them are military personnel. Only blood relatives are allowed visitation with patients here."

It took me a few seconds to register what he just said, "What the hell are you talking about? Ed is the Fullmetal Alchemist!"

"Not anymore…he resigned when you were arrested."

I couldn't move, other than grip the bed sheets. My head lowered and I stared at my lap.

"Does he know…?"

"He only knows you're in the hospital. He doesn't know about the miscarriage."

I raked my fingers through my bangs, "How the hell do you tell someone this sort of thing?! That was our baby, Allen!"

"You'll tell him when the time is right… don't stress over it."

"When does it all end, Brother…? When can I finally just be happy again…?"

His fingers brushed against my cheek a moment later. I lifted my gaze, meeting his and I could tell he was trying his damnedest not to cry. All he did was pull me close and kiss the crown of my head.

"Soon, sister…it'll end soon…"

* * *

><p>It was October by the time I was allowed to leave Central.<p>

I was healthy again, but still a little underweight and I was feeling fully recovered. The emotional and mental trauma of all that had happened still lingered, but I had been cleared recovered both physically and mentally by the doctors.

The train ride was nice. We kept the window open. The feeling of the wind on my face, lightly teasing my long russet hair was pleasant. The country air smelled good. I even smiled at the sight of sheep in the distance as we headed into the mountains.

Home was so close.

I could feel the familiar anticipation weaving its way throughout my body the closer we came to the village in the East. I started to bounce a little in my seat, gripping onto the edge with my fingers. Rand placed a hand to my back and I glanced at him, seeing him smiling at me. He then ruffled my hair like I was a little kid. I didn't mind too much. It was a sweet gesture from him.

"What would you like for me to make for dinner tonight, Eva?"

I glanced at Rowena, thinking about it. By the time we got back to town, it would be much too late to go to the Rockbells. I would have to wait to see them tomorrow, though I knew I wouldn't want to the moment we pulled into the station.

"Can we have wildforest pancakes?"

Neither seemed to find my request odd. Rowena simply closed her blue eyes and nodded, smiling at me fondly. I grinned, looking back out the window, resting my shoulder against the glass as I watched the world drifting by.

Autumn was arriving, the leaves changing slowly and falling. The trees that were an array of yellows and oranges were my favorites, but I loved the obsidian leaves the most. One fluttered by the open window and I caught it, twirling it between my fingers.

"Grandpa, what day is it?"

"It's October 16th,"

I smiled a bit, "I turn 18 tomorrow."

"I'll be sure to bake you a cake then," Rowena smiled.

"Can you make apple pie instead?"

Once again, I waited for the odd looks. Instead she nodded, and Rand patted me on the head again. I let him play with my hair for the remainder of the train ride. It seemed to comfort both of us.

The train pulled into the station shortly after nightfall. Resembool always seemed to look so pretty at night, with all the village lights glimmering beneath the stars and the mountains overlooking the grassy plains. My grandparents held hands as we started to walk down the path that would lead to town. We stopped at the market and got some ingredients, Rand buying me a chocolate bar as an early birthday present.

No matter how hard I tried to keep myself from doing it, my gaze always seemed to find its way to the yellow house on the hill.

While Rand carried the groceries, Rowena held my hand. It was nice, so I gripped it just as tight as we made our way to the cottage nestled in the trees. It was homey too, after so long. I felt okay with staying here. Rowena showed me my room, unpacking my bag for me while I took a shower. My hair was now to my waist, but I didn't want to cut it. My bangs brushed against my collar bone as well.

After I dried and brushed out my hair, Rand called me for dinner. I made my way to the dining area, taking my seat. We had our dinner of wildforest pancakes and tea. Rand asked if I wanted to get a part-time job at the bookstore in town - the shop keeper an old drinking buddy of his - and I decided to consider it. I asked about stories of my father from when he was a kid.

It was late by the time we retired for the night.

* * *

><p>I lay in bed, thinking over everything. My heart ached and tears prickled my eyes as I thought of Ed. Sitting up in bed, I couldn't take it anymore. I crept over to the dresser and pulled out my green cargo pants and a long-sleeved black shirt, changing into them. I slipped on my boots and then opened the bedroom window, slowly climbing out.<p>

I ran through the thicket of trees, coming across the river. Because I couldn't take the bridge, I had to find another way across. I noticed a log and used it like a bridge, jumping the distance that remained before hurrying up the hill.

It was about three in the morning by now, but I didn't care. I breathed in the chilly air, rubbing my arms as I hiked. I couldn't sleep like this and I just wanted to see them so badly, even if it was just to get yelled at by Pinako.

I reached the edge of the yard, scanning the windows. Circling the house, I saw one dim light of the back bedroom - Ed's room. I bit my lip and decided that I had been reckless already, and one more time wouldn't kill me. So I scaled the drain pipe to the window, grasping onto it with dear life before grabbing onto the shingles and bracing my feet on the window sill. I rapped on the window with my knee, wincing.

"Edward!"

_Rap, rap, rap…_

"Yo, Ed! Open up already before I fall!"

The curtain fluttered and I saw his face. Shock crossed it at first, then happiness, and then his eyes widened and he hastily opened the window, hissing the word "idiot!" as he grabbed me by my waist, yanking me inside the room.

My arms wound tightly around his neck as he crushed me to him, staggering a bit. The lecture would have to wait, because it had been so long since I had seen my lover. I felt his arms - both strong and flesh - pressing me tight against him. His face nuzzled my neck and I nuzzled his cheek, running my fingers through his long golden locks.

"It's really you…" he breathed.

"Who else would it be, silly?" I whispered, trying to keep the mood light and happy.

Tears had no place in this reunion. Pulling back, my hands cupped his face. He looked so much older now, but he was still the Edward I had fallen in love with. My eyes searched his, grey locking onto gold, before my fingers lightly traced his lips.

That was all it took before Ed pulled me against him, fingers sinking into my hair and fisting it, his mouth colliding with mine in the most breathtaking, passionate kiss I had ever experienced. The raw emotion and passion burned through him and me, emitting moans from both of us as our tongues met, dancing wildly.

I felt his hands glide down my back and to my rear, squeezing it before going to the backs of my thighs. Ed lifted my frame with ease, my legs wrapping around his waist as he pushed me against the wall. I kicked my boots off, feeling our bodies rocking intimately against each others, his erection flush against my aching core.

This wasn't sex - this was love.

Passionate, intimate love that had been denied between us for so long.

His kisses altered between deep and fiery, to soft and tender. His lips burned as they parted from mine, latching onto my neck where he bit me, resulting in a hiss of pleasure. My back arched and my hips began to grind against his.

Ed's hands ran under my shirt now, lifting it to expose my breasts. I had neglected to put on my undergarments in my haste to see him, embarrassed by this. His hands cupped and fondled them as he pulled back from my neck, forehead pressed against mine. Half-mast orbs stared into each other.

"It's so nice…to be able to touch you with both of my hands now…"

I nodded, breath hitching as he played with my sensitive nubs, twirling them and pinching lightly. Soft whimpers and moans escaped me, causing me to squirm. He yanked my shirt overhead, tossing it behind him before kissing me on the lips again.

The kiss didn't last long before it was broken, much to my dismay. Ed smiled at me, a smile that was as devious as it was sexy, before he then boldly licked one of my erect nubs. I gasped as he then took it into his mouth, suckling it and causing an immense wave of pleasure to wrap around my entire body. My blood was on fire, my desire building to the point of madness.

"P-Please…d-don't tease me~!" I gasped.

He smirked, kissing each mound in his hands softly. "You deserve to be teased, Eva~ "

My breath escaped me at the look in his eyes and the seductive purr he gave, nuzzling my breasts before kissing down my flat stomach. I squeaked when he gave a little bite here and there, his knee propping my small frame up as his hands worked on the button and zipper of my pants.

I shivered as Ed then lifted me and placed me on the edge of his bed, slowly removing my pants. I was completely naked now, and he seemed to take notice to the changes in my body. I was thinner than before, but a few hearty meals and I would be back at a reasonable weight. His hands ran up my legs, kissing gently up them until he reached my inner thigh. My fingers ran through his bangs, twirling with the antenna a bit.

He looked up at me, eyes flickering like sweet flames from the dim glow of the lantern. I smiled down at him, watching as he pulled off his undershirt and boxers, tossing them with the rest of our clothes. He then pressed more soft kisses to my inner thigh, shifting my leg over his shoulder.

I blushed as my core was exposed to him, but he only gave me that typical Ed grin and whispered, "How cute~" before he shocked me completely, kissing it directly. I gave a choked gasp, my entire body beginning to tremor as his tongue delved deep inside my love hole, swirling around before flicking up the slit to my clitoris. The actions alone sent my entire body surging with pleasure.

My eyes closed as I ran my fingers through his hair, gasping and moaning at the loving attention. It had taken be aback, but I was rather enjoying the pleasure and the way my body felt light.

"Edward…I-I'm close…"

He continued licking though, kissing my nether lips deeply as my orgasm hit. My body convulsed and I had to bite down on my finger to muffle my voice. Ed chuckled as he pulled up, leaning in so I had no choice but to lie back on the bed. He slowly ran his palms against my sides, my arms resting around his neck as I tried to catch my breath. My face was flushed and he was grinning at me.

"You're so damn adorable~"

"S-Shuddup…"

He shook his head, before leaning in to give me a soft kiss on the lips as a distraction. In one shift movement, he had impaled his entire shaft inside me. I moaned loudly against his mouth, legs wrapping around his lower back as he began to thrust into me. My hips rocked on their own, my fingers playing with the silken strands of blond as I felt every inch of him throbbing inside me, connecting us.

I missed this feeling, missed the way it felt to have his arms around me, the way it felt to make love with him…

Most of all, I missed those eyes of his, watching me and showing me all the emotions he kept secret from the world.

I pulled back and pressed his face to my neck, moaning his name softly in his ear as the thrusts became faster and deeper. The sound of flesh connecting along with our panting and moans rang in my ears. My body was on fire again, and I knew that climax was fast approaching.

The ribbons of ecstasy were wrapping, preparing to snap. It was only a matter a time until…

"Ed!" I gasped, eyes flying open.

"Eva!" he rasped, "I'm about to come!"

He went to pull out, but my legs locked with a vice, keeping us connected as we climaxed together. I shivered, feeling his hot seed inside me. His member continued to throb, his weight resting on my body as we held each other close.

I didn't regret it. The odds of me becoming pregnant again were very slim with the state my body was in. I felt cold as the memory of my miscarriage hit. I felt him turn his face, nuzzling my neck affectionately and pressing a soft kiss to it before his breath tickled my ear.

"I missed you~"

"I-I missed you too."

I decided to spare him that pain. One day, I would be able to tell him the truth. For now, all I wanted was to protect him from anymore hardships.

_It's finally over and done with._

"Ed…"

"Hmm?"

He lifted his head, eyes meeting mine quizzically as I shifted, lying on my side and in his arms. My fingers lightly traced his features, before I smiled.

"Will you marry me?"

He made a face, "I'm supposed to ask you, dummy."

I giggled, "Well I'm asking you. You can ask me again when you have an engagement ring~"

His eyes shifted and his cheeks tinged pink. I blinked as he sat up and then rolled over, fumbling around in the bedside table. I sat up, pressing the sheets to my bare chest. Ed sat up and held a small square box in his hands.

"What's that?" I asked blankly.

He sweatdropped, "Dummy."

"Seriously, what is it?"

Ed shook his head and then opened it slowly, revealing a silver banded ring that had a diamond in the middle. I stared at him, shocked beyond belief. He simply took my left hand and slid it onto my ring finger.

"You're marrying me, woman. No more running off or leaving me behind anymore. We're getting married and starting tomorrow, I'm rebuilding the old family house."

I nodded, not willing to argue with him. A little pleased, Ed pulled me close enough to kiss my forehead, laying back down with my head on his chest. His hand stroked my dark tresses, my eyes examining the engagement ring in the dim light. I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"I want to help with the house."

"That's fine."

I glanced at the window, seeing dawn's rays. "I should probably head back to my grandparents…"

His arms tightened around me, "Hell no."

I made a face, "They'll get worried."

"No, because they know you. You're staying here, with me…"

I sighed and then closed my eyes. "Looks like it's going to rain. I can smell it."

There were a few moments of silence before I heard his voice again, this time very clear and not in a hushed whisper.

"Happy Birthday, Evangeline. It's been a year since you came here too."

"Thanks, Ed… and I know."

"We'll have to celebrate both."

I smiled, "Sure thing."

"Along with our engagement."

"Sounds good…"

"I love you, Eva."

Those words warmed me, making the familiar butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"I love you too, Ed."

And for the first time in what seemed like ages, I fell asleep with ease. There were no nightmares left to haunt me and I was finally safe in Ed's arms.

I was reborn. 

* * *

><p>AN: I just wanted to say when I originally wrote this chapter, I never knew the actual turmoil Eva went through when she paid her price. Yesterday, I endured the same horrors she went through... I miscarried. So if you could keep me in your thoughts, your prayers... I'd appreciate it. This will weigh heavy on my heart for the rest of my life.

Rest in peace, my little one. I will never know you. But I will always love you, my child.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Home greeted me with open arms, as I had greeted it. My birthday party was also a homecoming party. I was greeted with so many hugs and kind words, I had to fight back my tears and replace them with a wide grin instead.<p>

I wouldn't cry again, not unless I had to.

The autumn air was pleasant as I sat on the swing, watching Ed beginning the foundation on the house. We had spent most of the morning planning out a blue-print. Al and him had gone to go get supplies while I stayed at my grandparents for my wildforest pancakes and apple pie.

Afternoon was even more of a surprise for me. Ed and I had been making small talk while working, but after a bit my body had started to bother me and he told me to sit for awhile. My hands gripped the rope as I watched him, thinking back to that day that was so long ago of the day I first fell in love with Edward.

Love was a strange thing, but I was happy and that's what mattered.

"EVA!"

Ed and I turned and were surprised to see Odessa running up the hill toward us, long brown hair bouncing down her small frame as she did. She had a wide grin on her face, skidding to a stop and bouncing on her heels repeatedly. She latched on to me the moment I was upright, and I hugged her back just as tightly.

"I'm so glad you're home!" Odessa exclaimed breathlessly.

"Me too~" I smiled as my hand idly brushed some of her chocolate tresses. "When did you get back from Rush Valley?"

"Last night."

"Were you at the house?"

She shook her head, "No, I live down the road."

"With your parents?"

Why was she tilting her head at me, blinking like that?

"Nobody told her?" she then turned to Ed, who looked down.

"Told me what?"

Odessa gave a sad smile, "I live alone. My mom passed away a long time ago and I never knew my father. I inherited the house and the land around it. That's why I went into automail as Winry's apprentice, to make a living for myself."

I bit my lip, feeling awful for the girl before me. It was like we were all orphans, tied together to create a dysfunctional family. Hugging her close, I felt Odessa snuggle back before we pulled apart.

"So whatcha doin'?"

"Building a new house,"

"Sounds fun! I wanna help!"

"Sure, the more help the better. Hey, where's Alphonse?"

"At the station~"

I knew something was up from the devious smile on her cute face. "Why is he at the station, Dess?"

"Surprise! Winry's come to visit from Central!"

"W…Win…ry…?"

I bolted two seconds after the shock left me, leaving behind my best friend and my lover. I took off for the station as fast as I could, panting and doubling over the moment I was on the platform. I heard Al say my name before feeling him grip my shoulder to keep me upright.

I glanced up into soulful bronze eyes, straightening as I saw the train about to pull in. Not many passengers had come in from Central - but I was looking for one.

Only, Winry wasn't alone. She looked older, much older than twenty, and very classy wearing a dark green button down blouse with a pair of form-fitting black pants and heeled chestnut brown boots. Her hair was down and she was holding a blanketed bundle in her arms. Al ran forward to greet her, but I could only stare in shock.

Her cobalt eyes landed on me before she broke into that warm motherly smile, approaching me. I could simply stare, watching as she looked down at the sweet little face of a newborn baby boy.

"It's been so long… this is my son, Royce Maes."

"You…had a son…?"

Tears filled my eyes as envy struck me, my hands subconsciously pressing against my own stomach as I thought of the child I would never meet. I glanced down at the baby as Winry offered for me to hold him. I took him, cradling him tenderly, looking down to see the mop of obsidian hair as he looked up at me with cobalt eyes.

He was perfect.

"You can carry him for a bit," Winry offered.

Honestly, I doubted I could hand him back. My heart yearned for my unborn child, but there was nothing I could do but keep the secret. To let anyone but my relatives know the truth…

No. I wouldn't burden them again.

We went back to the Rockbell's. Ed and Odessa had wandered back while we were at the station. I sat down and rocked Royce until his little face was serene with sleep, his little fingers wrapped around one of mine after I had gone to lightly stroke his rosy cheek.

I glanced up to see Ed staring at me, looking like he was caught in a dream.

I smiled and then turned to Winry. She told me all about her honeymoon and her life as the wife of a Führer. She told me all about her pregnancy and how amazing it was to be a mother. I faked a smile, hiding the envy that ate away at me. I didn't want to give up Royce, but when he stirred and started to cry, I had no choice. Another wave of emptiness washed over me as I watched Winry shush her babe, rocking him and consoling him as she went to go breastfeed him in privacy.

"Eva, are you okay…?"

I felt his arm around me before I turned, silently burying my face into his chest. He sensed something was wrong - I had let my mask slip. He didn't pry though, simply rubbing my back and holding me close.

"Eva, there's something else you should know."

I looked over at Odessa, who was sitting beside Al.

"What is it?" I mumbled.

Bronze met sapphire before they spoke, "We're engaged."

"Funny, so are we." Ed grinned.

"Double wedding?"

"Hell yes!"

I shook my head at the brothers laughing, while Odessa smiled at me. I tried to return the smile, but I couldn't. It was eating at me - all I could think about was how unfair it was that Winry could hold her child, that her baby was living and breathing while mine had been stolen from me.

"Eva…w-what's wrong? W-Why are you crying?"

There was panic across their faces. Winry walked in the room again, in the middle of saying she had put Royce down for a nap, only to cut herself off to stare at me as well. The tears escaped on their own, my hands clutching my torso as I hunched over, unable to stop the sobs as I felt my heart break all over again.

"I-I haven't t-told you guys the t-truth!"

"About what…? You can tell us, Evangeline."

_No! Don't! _

The words slipped out anyway.

"…I-I had a miscarriage…with our baby, Edward…I-I'm so sorry… T-Truth took o-our baby…s-so I could c-come back…"

Time stopped for what seemed like eternity.

Then, it started again, abruptly and violently crashing like a train. Ed gave a roar and the coffee table went flying across the room. Winry managed to duck into the doorway while Odessa flung herself to the floor. The table hit the wall, breaking in two as Al protectively shielded the mechanic. Ed's chest was heaving, tears in his own eyes as he looked at me.

"When were you planning on telling me?!"

"…I-I'm sorry… I-I didn't…know how…"

He shook his head, the tears falling now, steady and his face twisted in absolute pain.

"E-Edward-"

I didn't get a chance to finish before he turned and took off.

"Ed…ward…"

I weakly tried to get to my feet, only to feel them give out beneath me. Al's arms caught me before I hit the floor, hearing him whisper words of comfort as he held me close. All I could do was look towards the doorway where Ed had disappeared.

He didn't come back.

* * *

><p>By the third day, I felt as if I had been abandoned. I didn't want to eat, didn't want to move. I remained sitting on the swing, looking out over the strawberry fields and toward the mountains, just pressing my hands to my stomach, hating myself for breaking down and burdening my love with more pain. I watched as the swirling storm clouds crept over Resembool.<p>

Hanging my head, I let the sound of the rain try and console me. I only glanced up once and turned, only to stare. I wasn't as alone as I had thought. There was a man standing a few feet away, dark hair clinging to his skin as he looked at me with forlorn eyes.

Eyes that matched the sky above.

"…Dad…"

A sad smile.

He vanished with a blink of the eye.

_Simply a figment of my imagination._

Sighing, I put my head in my hands, raking my fingers through my bangs and releasing a frustrated growl.

_Just when I thought things would finally be okay, I just had to go and fuck them up again. Just when I thought things would settle down, I just had to go and let my stupid emotions get out of control! I hurt him, I hurt him and I… I don't even know where to look for him._

"Fuck it," I swore, just tired of it all.

Standing up, I shoved my hands into the pockets of my hooded shirt. I didn't care that I was soaked to the bone and shivering. I didn't care that my teeth were chattering to the point my lips were split.

I started looking for Ed. I looked all throughout the village. I looked in the cemetery. I looked inside the church, though I snorted as I recalled Ed's disbelief in God. I turned to step back into the rain, continuing my search.

An hour later I was sneezing and frustrated. I managed to make my way to the top of the hill, heading back to Winry's. I slipped, hitting the ground.

_Get up already… freakin' get up! _

My body refused, the only thing I could do was dig my nails into the mud, finally just screaming. Screaming as loud as I could, screaming the scream that seemed to have been building up for over a year. An agonized scream that echoed throughout the entire Eastern village, that sent the front door of a particular yellow house flying open.

"Eva… it's okay…it's okay, I'm here…"

I shoved Alphonse away from me the moment he tried to pull me into his arms, Odessa standing right behind him. I must've looked raving mad, judging from the expressions on their faces. I turned away from those eyes - I couldn't stand to be looked at with such _pity._ Fingernails clawed at my face as I grabbed my hair, pulling it as I screamed again.

I felt hands yanking my hands from my face. I went to open my mouth, to curse Al and tell him to let me go, but the moment I opened my eyes silence claimed me.

"Idiot!"

I had never in my life been so happy to be insulted.

Gold eyes flashed, like lightning before I was yanked into his strong arms, breathing in his earthy scent, clutching him to me tightly. I refused to let go, even though we were both soaked from the storm. I felt his hand on the back of my head before he kissed me, then pulled back to press his forehead to mine.

"Dummy…don't lose it like that again… you're supposed to be the calm one."

I snorted at that, "You're talking to someone who was trained by a marksman and goes ballistic with a gun."

Ed simply ruffled my hair, "We're both gonna get sick."

"Do you really think I give a damn right now?"

"No… I don't." He kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry for leaving you when I should've stayed with you… to get through this together…"

I couldn't lie and say it was okay.

"We'll recover…we'll get through this just like everything else, Eva."

"I know we will, Edward."

Al cleared his throat, "I really don't want you two getting sick… so can we please go back inside?"

I blinked, turning to look at him. Odessa was cowering behind him, eyeballing me as if I was about to bite them or claw them to shreds. I blinked again, suddenly feeling awful. He simply gave me a gentle smile, reassuring me that all was forgiven. Ed took his arm and slipped it around my waist, pulling me to my feet before we trekked back to the house.

"You two, bath. Now." Winry ordered, that maternal look on her face.

Motherhood had made her scarier in the anger department. Ed and I did not object, marching upstairs to the bathroom. Once the door was locked, Ed immediately undressed me. I felt my face warm a bit, realizing this would be the first time we had ever showered together.

I soon regained feeling as we stood underneath the hot water, his arms wrapped around my waist, palms pressed to my stomach. I felt his forehead press against the crown of my head, the only words exchanged were small apologies. I pressed my hands over his, wishing that we could be feeling the fluttering of our child.

"How…far along were you…?"

"The doctor said I was about…three and a half months…"

Ed sobbed, clutching me tighter to him. I couldn't speak after that, my own tears pouring down my face before I hid my face in my hands. We remained like that until the water ran cold. I was the only who turned off the shower.

We towel-dried and went to Ed's room, with me borrowing a t-shirt to sleep in. We cuddled close in bed and listened to the sound of the rain. I stroked his cheek with my hand, just looking into his eyes. Then, after that long period of silence, Ed spoke once again.

"What would you want to name our children…?"

I hesitated, "Alessa for a girl…"

Ed smiled a bit and replied, "I like Alessa. It's pretty."

"And I've always… adored the name Vanitas for a boy."

"Vanitas… I like Vanitas too…"

"What about you?"

"Those are fine. I'd want… to make their middle names Trisha and Alphonse though."

"Of course,"

Ed swallowed hard, "I didn't realize how ready I was to become a father until…"

"I know… I feel the same…"

"…to think you went through that pain… alone… without me…"

I shifted a bit in his arms, pressing my lips to his. "Hush now, love."

He did, holding me closer, rubbing my stomach. My eyes felt tired, heavy. I couldn't think straight.

Sleep overcame me.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>Dreary skies faded away as winter began to approach. On November 27th, Ed and I were married in Central, at the courthouse. It was a simple ceremony, with my grandparents, brother, and our friends there to support us.<p>

I couldn't stop smiling, pressing my hands to the cool pane of the window as I watched the first snow flurries dancing through air as the train continued its way up north. Beside me, grinning and resting his chin atop of my shoulder, was Ed. His gold eyes kept catching the light, illuminating in the dim light of the car as the night sky twinkled with stars above. In the distance, I could faintly make out North City.

I wanted to go somewhere that it snowed for our honeymoon. Ed decided that North City would be nice. Roy and Winry even recommended the lodge they had stayed at for their honeymoon.

"Look, we're almost there." Ed said, his voice a warm whisper against the side of my neck. I could feel his fingers idly playing with my hair as he gave it a gentle kiss. "I can't wait!"

"Me neither!"

I couldn't hold back my excitement, though I did feel a sense of loss as Ed moved away from me. I turned and watched as he stood up, grabbing our suitcase. He then wrapped my black and grey scarf around me, giving me a tender smile just as the train pulled into the station. We held hands tightly and firmly, stepping off into the cold air. My breath was showing and I giggled, twirling in the snow.

For the first time in so long, I felt as if I could finally breathe!

"Eva, c'mon! The lodge is this way!" Ed called out to me.

I stopped twirling, coming to a stop as my black ankle-length suede snow boots crunched over the snow, the pleats of my grey wool peacoat fluttering around my legs, protected by black tights. My hands were protected by the warm gloves that Sciezka had knitted for me and my new coat fit snugly, but gave me enough room to move about. Ed was sporting a fur-trimmed red jacket, not looking chilled in the slightest. Fire was still dancing in those eyes of his.

He hailed us a cab, it driving us through the city. It seemed that many of the residents were closing up shop for the night. It didn't seem as cheery as I had hoped it would be. Pressing my nose to the cold glass, I peered down the snowy streets, back and forth trying to catch a glimpse of the flyers.

"A lot's happened while you were in confinement. Drachma tried to start another war."

I bit down on my lip at those words.

_No matter how far I try to run from it, the cold bitter truth of reality will always find me, no matter how far I've traveled. There will always be War. Innocent people dying in the cross-fires as countries struggle for power and independence from suppression. Somewhere, out there, there are soldiers dying in honor and for their country, to keep their people safe. Someone's son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father… Does this world always have to be in a cynical cycle in order to survive? Is this truly all human nature can bring?_

"Evangeline, are you alright?"

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, "Y-yeah! I'm fine. Hey, is that the lodge up ahead?"

"Yeah. Should be the place. Lemme double-check." He rummaged in his pocket and withdrew a post card. "Yup! Same place that the Col - Fuhrer stayed at with Win."

"It's so lovely!" I exclaimed, the moment we were standing in front of it.

Ed placed an arm around my waist, drawing me close and kissing my temple. I felt that familiar warmth flooding my cheeks, smiling happily as my fingers played with his fur collar, allowing him to lead me up the steps and inside the lodge. Unlike with the town, it had a more cheery atmosphere. The couple who ran the lodge were in their late forties, and had been married since they were young. They started the lodge when they were close to our age and encouraged young newlyweds to come spend their honeymoons there.

After checking into our room and shedding our winter wear, I flipped my long brown hair free from the collar of my baggy-sleeved thigh-length sweater dress. It tumbled down my back and over my shoulders, unruly and thick like a wave. Ed smiled at me, stretching a bit before he eagerly pulled out our wedding presents from Odessa and Al - new alchemy texts.

Soon we found ourselves snuggling in the common room, by the fire, sipping apple cider and reading to each other in soft tones as I snuggled against his chest.

_This night couldn't be more perfect._

* * *

><p>"This…night…couldn't be any worse!"<p>

_So much for private getaway! Stupid distractions, stupid alchemy, stupid boneheaded husband who always gets himself into messes and has to clean them up and take time away from us! GRRRR! When he gets back, I'm going to kill him!_

Inwardly ranting, I stormed around our suite, throwing pillows and shoving the small loveseat in anger.

In all honesty, how in the hell he managed to get into a freakin' bar fight right next door when all he was going to do was go pick us up some champagne was beyond me!

After calling and ranting to Tori for a good thirty minutes - at least before Roy started hollering at her to hang up and help him change Royce, since Winry was currently out on an automail job and the new father was still clueless about how to change a poopy diaper - I was now left to my lonesome to grumble and curse.

I thought about calling Odessa and ranting to her, but she was most likely spending quality time with my brother-in-law.

Cue shuddering and grossing out over unwanted images of them.

I finally found my way into the bathroom, angrily stripping off my clothes and climbing into the bathtub as it started to fill. I twisted my long hair into a messy bun, before drawing my knees close to my chest and puffing my cheeks out, tempted to bite down into the skin just enough to make Ed feel guilty about leaving me on our _honeymoon_.

"He is such an ass…" I mumbled, sighing heavily and closing my eyes.

I sunk down further into the water, listening to the sweet silence and actually starting to calm down, the warm water feeling wonderful against my aching muscles.

"EVA! FORGIVE ME! I COME BARING CHOCOLATE!"

I flailed, screaming as the bathroom door flew open, revealing my husband waving chocolate. I managed to grab the side of the tub, growling viciously. His eyes widened before he dived out of hitting range, tossing the chocolate at me. I pitched anything I could get my hands on out the door, grinning evilly upon hearing him hiss in pain, having hit my mark.

That was until I felt a strange wave of nausea. I barely managed to get out of the tub, water sloshing over the sides and my knees hitting the wooden floor. Then, the stew we had for dinner came rushing up.

"Eva…?"

I couldn't even reply, emptying the contents of my stomach violently into the bowl. I felt the texture of a terry cloth towel being wrapped around me, along with Ed's warm hand rubbing my back. He brushed my bangs out of my sweaty bangs.

Finally, after about twenty minutes, I slunk down onto the cool floor, resting my head in his lap as he ran his fingers through my damp hair, pressing them to my flushed cheeks as I looked up at him. I crossed my arm over my chest, whimpering at their soreness.

"Eva… what's the matter… did you eat something spoiled…?"

I shook my head, exhausted. Without saying anything more, I felt him cradle me close to his chest, lifting me up in his arms and carefully carrying me to the bed. I barely was able to sit up while he dressed me, before he clicked out the light and then climbed into bed.

I don't remember falling asleep.

* * *

><p>I spent the next few days having to run to the bathroom. Still, we tried to enjoy the sights and our honeymoon. However, by the fourth day, Ed was starting to worry. I hadn't been able to keep any food or water down, and he was afraid I may become dehydrated. He took me to a clinic where he had been taken once before, nearly having died from being impaled the last time he was in this region.<p>

I sat on the edge of the cot as the old woman poked and prodded me. I gave a squeak and then a gasp of agony as she then grasped my breasts through my sweater. She noted my reaction before consulting with a medical text book, flipping through the pages. Ed chewed on his cheek nervously, glancing at me from his seat against the wall, gripping the edge of it and tapping his foot.

"Fatigue, nausea, tender breasts… have you been urinating more frequently?"

"Yes. That's why Edward suspected I may be dehydrated, especially since I've been throwing up water."

"When does your nausea usually occur?"

"Day or night…sometimes when I smell certain things. Stuff that's never made me really sick before."

"Increase in appetite or cravings?"

"Um…" I looked toward Ed for help.

Ed sheepishly replied, "She had a craving for tomatoes a few days ago."

"Have you had any spotting?"

"Spotting?"

"Blood stains in your undergarments."

"Um…I-I thought it was my p-period…and that it was r-really light…"

"When was your last period due."

"Um…November 4th…"

"Alright dear, we just need to take consult for a few moments."

I nodded, wincing as she closed the door behind her, the soft click of the knob sounding like a pin dropping. The room was deathly quiet, with me finding it hard to look over at my husband. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't tell if they were set in a glare or in horror.

I was so scared.

_Is something wrong with me? Am I sick?  
><em>

"Evangeline -"

"Edward, please don't. I'm scared to death. Just…stay quiet."

He did just that, the both of us immediately looking toward the door was the woman returned. She had a soft smile at her face, Ed springing to his feet.

"Is it serious? Is my wife going to be alright?"

"Oh, she will be just fine. But you two have a lot of reading and preparing to do." She was holding a stack of books and giving a smile.

"Preparing…for what?" I dared to ask, my heart starting to pound against my rib cage.

She turned and gave us another smile after handing over the books to Ed.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Elric. You're going to have a baby."


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. Reviews are encouraged and flames will not be tolerated.

* * *

><p>"Ow…geez, you two…think you can give your mother a break and stop destroying my womb…?"<p>

A deep sigh echoed through the nursery as Spring sunlight shone through the window, where I was lying on the window seat and writing a letter to Allen. I rubbed my palm against my rounded stomach. I felt another violent kick at my words, smiling in spite of myself.

Everyone other than Ed and Al thought I was just being hormonal and hopeful, but I knew in my heart that I was carrying twins instead of an extremely overactive boy as they all believed. Just then, I felt another flutter in my stomach, as if my babies were trying to shift and find a way to be comfortable together. I couldn't help but wonder if they ever clasped their tiny hands together. Twins had always amazed me.

I was already seven months pregnant, with the babies due in June. Alphonse had just celebrated his birthday, along with Odessa and his marriage. They were happily running their own automail service with Winry's political status getting the word out there all the way through the East. Al was also working for Mustang, as the ambassador to Xing whenever they needed assistance from the country across the desert.

As for my brother, Allen had been posted at North command at Briggs under General Olivier Mira Armstrong. She was scary as hell but one of the best damn generals the entire Amestrian military had to offer, and she kept Drachma at bay. Allen had already moved up the ranks to Colonel. Sciezka was being employed at the Northern library branch.

Winry came home a lot, to visit with her son whenever Roy was having to attend to military affairs as Führer. Royce was getting so big, already seven months old and growing fast. His hair was dark like his fathers and his eyes were a cobalt blue, ones that were so beautiful. He really was a sweet baby. He liked me.

I loved him.

After the house had been built and Ed and I moved in, we started our lives officially as a married couple. We had prepared the nursery together, painting the walls and building bookcases and cribs. We had two bassinets ready in our room, for the first few weeks. I was scared to leave them alone with them being so small.

Already I was overprotective of my children, and they had yet to be born.

"I hope you're proud of me, Dad."

I clicked open his black chrome pocket watch, smiling at my reflection on the glass pane of the clock's face, before I closed it and placed it back on the bookcase that had the photograph of Lillian and my father in Liore all those years ago.

"I love you."

* * *

><p>"Eva! Eva-Eva-Evaaaaaaaaa!"<p>

Laughter rang through the kitchen as I turned just as the front door closed, seeing those gold eyes dancing brilliantly like topaz just as Edward's strong arms wrapped around me, gently picking me up and then setting me down on the tops of his shoes, his hands resting on the small of my back and arching me so my rounded stomach was pressed to his. The grin on his devilishly handsome face seemed to grow even more as he felt the frantic movements of our unborn children against his own stomach. Cupping the back of my head, his ran his fingers through my unruly tresses as he then pressed a tender kiss to my lips.

"Excited much, silly?"

"Yeah. I got that contracting job for the school house."

"You mean the one that was demolished in the storm last month?"

"Yeah, I definitely thought that school teacher would've given it to some of the older guys in town, but as soon as she found out I had a pregnant wife at home to bring home to bread to, the job was mine."

"You bad boy!" I playfully smacked him on the hip. "Don't you dare use me like that!"

"But…but… I love you and I need to feed you, woman! You're feeding three!" Ed grinned - that damned smile always made it hard to stay mad at him. I could feel my anger fading into a giddiness. He leaned down just then and cupped my stomach, rubbing it and pressing a kiss to it. "You guys being good for Mommy?"

"Yes, Daddy, we're being rotten little devils and beating up Mommy for you!" I teased, making my voice sound childlike.

Ed made a face at that, "Now, you can't do that to your Mommy! She feeds you and keeps you warm and safe, deep inside her so nothing can hurt you. Equivalent Exchange, kids! You have to pay her back and keep her safe when you're older, especially when I'm not around to keep your mother out of trouble." He pinned me with a certain look.

"Oh hush, you jerk." I pouted, before watching as he rose and then cupped my face, leaning in and giving me a sweet kiss. "C'mon, you're making it _really_ hard to stay mad at you."

"Funny, Mom used to say the same thing about my father."

"Oh, shut up and kiss me."

He complied, kissing me softly and holding me close. Despite the fact my body ached and I was beyond exhausted from my pregnancy, it was the moments like these that reminded me why having these children were so important to both of us. They were our future, our love incarnate. We would give them the childhood that was deprived from us - we would give them the love they deserved.

I never wanted to lose my child again.

Which is why I allowed Ed to basically refuse to let me do anything, including fold socks.

He did let me cook though - especially my wildforest pancakes.

"So when do you start your job?"

"Tomorrow morning. Al's helping."

"Alright. I'll make dinner and then you and I can settle down for bed."

He chuckled, "Not tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"Go sit down in the living room."

"O…kay?"

Confused, I waddled my way through our one-story home and into our living room, sitting down on the couch. A few moments later, I heard the radio being turned on and heard a love song playing. It was one of the few songs I liked to listen to - it made me feel warm and happy. A little surprised that Ed had remember I liked it, I glanced back toward the doorway to see him bringing in dinner and carrying a bouquet of lilies.

"Aww… what's the occasion?"

"No occasion. I just felt like I should spoil my beautiful lover."

I giggled - Ed was so adorable whenever he tried to be romantic.

"I love you, Evangeline." Ed whispered, before he gently pulled me across his lap and then held up the fork of pasta. "I made your favorite."

"You're bad." I teased, before happily taking the fork into my mouth, savoring the taste of alfredo and chicken. "This is so good. How'd you know I was craving chicken alfredo?"

"Just a guess." Ed kissed my neck.

I blushed and squirmed, "Honey, I don't think we can make anymore kids."

"I know. I just wanted to kiss you."

"Did you do something I should know about…?"

Ed hesitated.

_Shit._

Should've known.

"…After the kids are born and you're settled… Mustang wants me to come back to the service."

"You…would be a dog of the military again?"

"Only if you want me to - I'm only trying to do what I think will be able to provide for our family."

"So what, did you think sucking up to me would make this okay?" I shot, my face hot and my chest tight. I tried to squirm free, but it was hard to move in this position and my stomach. "It's not. I don't want to freakin' risk you, Edward! You've nearly died how many times, and you were only a teenager! You left the military that had forsaken me, imprisoned me, and acted like nothing happened when they helped take the life of our child! Or did you forget that?!"

"Eva…I was only…" He took a deep breath, cupping my face and forcing me to look into his eyes. "I won't. I promise. I won't go back to the military. I'm just… trying to find a way to make ends meet."

Tears were threatening to pour down my face, "I…I lost my father… and to think I nearly lost you for good… it terrifies me! I don't care what I have to do, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe and at home with _me! _Screw it if I'm being selfish - I've been nothing but selfless my entire freakin' life! I want my husband at home, with me, raising our kids! I'll work for my grandparents, something, anything! Just please… please _never ever ever_ work for that military ever again! Use your alchemy here, at home! Please!"

Those warm hands wiped away my tears, gold eyes staring deeply into my cloudless orbs that betrayed every emotion I was trying to contain. Images flashed across my mind of that fateful day when everything had changed.

When Truth had stolen the precious life inside of me to keep me in Amestris.

When my father had sacrificed himself to restore Ed's body.

When I had been taken captive and held prisoner for a crime I did not commit, trapped in a white room with only bars over a small window that could barely tell me when it was night or day - the same room where it had stained crimson as my baby was miscarried.

The child I would never meet or hold in my arms…

"Shh…don't cry…c'mon, geez… I won't do that to you, Eva…"

"You better not!" I snapped, feeling my heart cracking. "You ever do and I will never forgive you! Don't run out on your family like your father did!"

Ed's face went stoic and I realized what I said had been a mistake. Hurt flickered in his eyes before he carefully shifted me onto the couch. I tried to speak, to reach out and say sorry, but he already disappeared down the hall. The bathroom door shut a moment later.

I was left in tears, cradling my pregnant stomach and praying to whatever gods would listen to not destroy my family again.

I was Evangeline Terezka Godric Elric.

I was the Messenger that had unintentionally been a harbinger of destruction to Amestris.

Now, all I wanted was to be a wife and mother.

Simply keep my family safe…

_Is that too much to ask?_

Sadly - I knew the answer.

Everything had a price, whether we wanted to accept it or not. There had to be equivalence - without a balance, then there was nothing. Only dismay and despair.

My life would never be easy.

"Give unto me your pain…I'll drink your deadly poison… why should it matter if I'm hurting…all that matters is you…"

I would do anything to keep my family alive and safe, even at the cost of my own heart.


End file.
